Past Truths

by Em Pitts

  "I don't know. I haven't spoken to him. Aska says he isn’t." Okay, I was confused again.

  "Then why will you not see her father."

  "Because he should be angry at me. Because my father was the one who killed her." My finger stopped tracing in the sand. "I'm the reason she is dead."

  I took that in. Ollie's father killed his girlfriend. Because she was of a different ethnicity. And he blamed himself.

  "Bullshit." I glared at his stunned expression. "You are not responsible for your father's actions. Did you tell him to do it?"

  "Why would I—"

  "Did you help him? Did you set it up, make it happen, did you kill her?" I continued with the harsh questions. He needed to understand.

  "She was mine!" He shouted. "Mine to protect and I failed..." He trailed off. Oh, Ollie. I put my hand on his cheek lifting his gaze to meet mine.

  "You can't put that blame on yourself. You can't stop everything from happening to someone. You can't control another person's actions." He tried to look away and I brought my other hand up to hold him still. Please see, Ollie. "You're never going to be able to control another person's fate. You can only try your best to help them along the way. You didn't kill her Ollie. And you weren't responsible either. That was your father. He was the one who..." I trailed off unable to complete the sentence. He killed her. Dead. And Ollie has had to live with that.

  A brush of Ollie's fingertips on my check left a cool trail that told me I was crying. "Why do you keep doing that?" He asked with confusion. He was looking at me like I was precious though. I shrugged in response. There was no reason for why I did the things I did except I was just being me.

  "Aska knows you aren't responsible. The chief knows this. You are the only one who doesn't know. Isaake watched it happen. Do you blame him?"

  "Of course, not. There wasn't anything he could have done." I smiled at him.

  "Exactly." He shook his head but looked away in thought. I didn't expect it to be a revelation but at least he has the idea planted in his head.

  "Will you take me to the tribe?" I asked him. He pulled away and my hands fell to my sides.

  "I don't know if I can, Tessa." He sighed as if in defeat.

  "Okay." I nodded my head. "But Ollie, think about something for me, okay?" He looked wary but nodded at me to continue.

  "What do you have left of wheat...what was her name?"

  "Weetamoo." He was kind enough to sound it out and spell it for me when I kept struggling.

  "What do you have left of Weetamoo to remember her by? Because maybe you are the something that Aska and the chief have left to remember her. It's just a thought." He looked like he was thinking over what I said so I decided to get up and head back to the others. I couldn't force his choice.

  "Her words." He spoke as I stepped around him. "I kept her words." My heart broke for the thirteen-year-old boy and for the man he was forced to become.

  I kneeled behind him and wrapped my arms around his chest, squeezing him to keep the pieces together that were left. I didn't use words. I just needed him to know I was there if he needed it. He let me hold him and put his hand on my arms to squeeze back. We stayed that way as the sun shifted. When my stomach growled, he chuckled at me. We had cold food waiting inside for us.

  23

  The cold food was barely more than scrap pieces by the time we walked in. The men decided to eat most of it only choosing to save some when it looked to be almost gone. I couldn't even blame them. Letting food go to waste would have been a shame. At least Isaake offered to make more, the sweetheart.

  "So, what's everyone up to for the rest of the day?" I questioned.

  Finishing my pancake-looking cheese fritter, I gazed longingly at my plate. I should have taken Isaake up on his offer for more food. Ollie saw my look of want and gave me the rest of his.

  He was bound to be hungry with how little he ate. I split the remaining food giving him the majority. He went to give me more, but I snatched my plate back and sat deep in the couch. When he frowned, I sent him a wink to let him know it was fine. Guys are supposed to eat more anyway, right?

  "Clock hunting for me. Now more than ever, we need to find it." Nick gave me a cheeky grin. "Guess that means no more flirting." I snorted at him.

  "So, you're just going to bust up into people's homes now?"

  "More or less." He admitted without shame. This man. I turned to Raynor to see what he was doing now that the tribe visit was postponed.

  "I can help check any areas that you haven't yet. We can see if John is in town as well and find out where all he has looked."

  I nodded my head wondering what I would be doing now. I don't want to confine myself to the home, but I don't really want to go anywhere that could result in me meeting up with Judge Snelling either. With limited options, I was debating asking the guys if I could tag along and help somehow.

  "We're taking a trip to see Eliza actually," Ollie spoke up which effectively cut through the small talk. The men looked at Ollie then to each other confused.

  "Huh?" I eloquently added. "We won't make it there and back in time. I am still going to the trials, aren't I?" Now I was wondering if a different decision was made regarding my whereabouts for the next few days.

  "You were right." He said simply. "We are going to see Eliza and give her the doll. Raynor, you, and me." He stood and grabbed my plate to take with him to the kitchen.

  "That just happened, right?" I whispered to the others. "Should I say something and make sure he didn't hit his head. Or get body snatched by aliens."

  "I'd prefer you didn't," Ollie said over his shoulder. I guess I wasn't as quiet as I thought. "I'd rather not change my mind. In fact, let's go ahead and leave." He disappeared into the kitchen and I looked to the others unsure what was happening right now. Ollie walked back to us then bypassed us for the door. "Right now, would be best." He walked through the door not waiting on us.

  I scrambled up and made to go to the door despite the silence left in Ollie's wake. Raynor was still sitting down when I made it to the door, so I doubled back and yanked his arm to tug him along.

  "Kind of need you too, big guy." I waved to Nick and Isaake while trying to tug the stunned behemoth.

  Nick waved back woodenly, looking like a puppet through his shock. I'm pretty sure Isaake didn't even notice anything right then.

  We made it outside and I saw Ollie pacing with a hand on his face. He stopped when we closed the door and nodded. "Good. Let's go."

  "Wait!" I stopped him as the earth started rumbling. It immediately quieted as the men looked at me. Ollie's gaze was a bit wild, but I ignored it not wanting to change his mind or mess up anything he was working on in his head. "The doll. It's at the tavern." I explained. I walked forward and grabbed Ollie's hand to tug him after me. It felt right to keep the momentum going full speed. "We will grab Cindy first then we can go." I heard Raynor behind us as he jogged up to be beside me. More running feet sounded behind us before Nick and Isaake caught up.

  "Did we change our mind about walking there?" Nick asked curiously.

  "Got to get the doll," Raynor answered for me.

  I felt Ollie's hand squeeze mine and I refused to drop it. I tightened my grip instead. "Did you change your mind about clock hunting?" I called back to Nick and Isaake.

  "And pass up the opportunity to see Aska's clothing choices again? Ow! Fuck man was that necessary?" I looked back to see Nick rubbing his head and Isaake shaking his. I smiled a big smile.

  When Nick looked up and saw me, I winked at him. He always knows how to break through the tension. A part of me was curious if he was serious about wanting to see Aska, but another part of me hoped that it was just part of his humor.

  I knew the real reason that the men decided to tag along had nothing to do with Aska. They were there for Ollie. Just as Ollie would be there for them. I may have only had one person in my life before that I would do anything for, but it was enough for me to know what that meant.

>   These guys were family. The kind that chose to be together. The kind who were stronger for it. And I was in the middle of them surrounded by the feeling.

  I felt something warm in my chest as Nick joked with the others. Raynor stayed beside me giving me a feeling of security, while Isaake's presence was steadying behind me and Ollie...his hand gripped on to mine solidly. Ollie was testing or soothing when he chose to be and right now, I was his anchor. It felt nice to be a part of their family, even if we all knew it was temporary.

  We turned heads as we walked through the front door of the tavern on a mission. The men surprised me by following me all the way back to my room. I suppose the babysitting duty was taken very seriously. It felt weird watching as Ollie and Isaake entered the room with me. The room seemed much smaller with the two males towering over everything.

  I reached down and grabbed the doll, debating for a split second before grabbing the copy too. It was still colored differently but I was hoping I could play it off as having to wrap new husk around the doll.

  I turned to leave the room when I noticed Isaake running his hand over the journal he gave me on the desk. He picked it up to carry with us. I gave him a questioning look.

  "We don't know when you'll be back. We can take it with us, so you have it every night." I nodded my head thinking about how I haven't written to Abby since the first night I received the journal. I vowed to write more to her.

  "Actually," I looked at both the dolls and the journal before holding out my hand towards Isaake "I can tuck it and the doll into my waistband, so you won’t need to carry it." I proceeded to do just that as Isaake looked at the two dolls questioningly.

  "Is it supposed to look like the other one?" He questioned. I sighed.

  "No. Clearly Granny made one of them better. I just need the chandler to believe this one, is that one before it was changed." I held up the fake one.

  Ollie reached out his hand for the replica. I warily gave him the fake, wondering what he planned on doing with it. His brows scrunched in concentration as he stared at the imitation. Small streams of smoke wafted out of the doll before the color started changing. He gave the doll back and it looked much more like the original. Not perfect, but passable.

  "How did you do that?" I ran my hands over the doll in awe.

  "I dried it out, so it looks older now." He shrugged. "Come on." And we were back to full speed mode moving to get to the chandler’s shop.

  It was a good thing the guys mostly kept to themselves because no one tried to stop us. There were a few waves or head nods, but there were no actually attempts at conversation. Then again, we were all marching quickly, looking intimidating.

  The chandler’s door swung open to a mostly empty shop. There were two women at the counter and Walter was nowhere in sight. "Just a minute!" His voice called out from the back.

  I quickly walked up to the counter and placed the doll there hoping to be out without having to speak to the chandler. I nodded my head to the women who were giving my astounded looks as I took off back out the door. It must be rude to them, to be rushing and not speak to anyone in the process. Oh well.

  "Let's do this!" I stated brightly ready for an adventure.

  "Maybe we should..." Ollie started and looked lost as he glanced around the square.

  I worried he may have been standing still too long and was coming up with ways to stall now. Isaake gave him a gentle nudge to get us going again, clearly believing the same. I wanted to reach back out to grab Ollie's hand because he looked pale and sick. He dropped my hand when we were visible to the town though. As soon as we were out of sight, I knew I would grab his hand again. That just made me pick up the pace to get us there quicker and put Ollie out of his misery.

  The moment didn't come quick enough when the town disappeared behind us. I reached out and grabbed Ollie's hand again. He jumped from the contact and looked around me to his brothers. He still had that lost look in his eyes from back at the square. Shit, were we too late and he already changed his mind?

  "Hey," I started gently to get his attention. "If you're not ready, it's fine. We can go another day. It doesn't have to be right now." I was being honest. I wanted to give Eliza her doll, but I didn't want to force him into rushing through this too quickly. If he needed time, then we could give him time.

  Raynor placed a hand on Ollie's shoulder and nodded my way. I wasn't sure if he was thanking me or agreeing with me. I gave him a small smile back. We watched Ollie close his eyes and breathe deeply a few times. When he opened them again, he had a determined look.

  "It has to be now. It's been long enough."

  The ground rumbled around us before opening into the tunnel. It didn't stop rumbling when it opened this time. It continued and made me nervous at how long the tunnel had to be for this trip. Ollie stepped forward and the rest of us followed him into the darkness unquestioningly.

  My stomach was beyond queasy by the time we exited. I started gagging over the ground, not sure if I was going to vomit. Over half an hour in the dark tunnel, speeding through faster than most roller coasters, and I was dizzy, nauseous, and with a changed mind. Turns out, I can get tired of the tunnel.

  Isaake's hands were gentle as he helped me up to my feet. "It helps if you walk it off." He murmured. I gave him a grateful smile and started walking around as he suggested.

  I glanced at the others and saw Nick looked perfectly fine. Ollie and Raynor were sitting down looking tired. Ollie had sweat beading on his forehead that he was wiping off every so often. I guess using your gifts for such an extended amount of time would be tiring.

  Raynor recovered first, shortly after the ground stopped rumbling. Ollie took longer. I wasn't sure if it was because he used his gift more, or he was still sick from the thought of being here. Nevertheless, he did get to his feet and we were able to continue.

  We were surrounded by the land with no trace of houses in sight. I was curious where the tribe would be located. Turns out, the tribe wasn't far from our exit.

  Cleverly hidden behind the trees were multiple rounded huts that looked like they were made from sticks and straw. Carved out boats were propped beside a couple of the huts. People surrounded the area laughing and working. Children ran around playing together as the women and men carried on about their day.

  It was such a stark difference from the strict way of life back at the village. The village felt more like a cult version of the life I knew in my time. This felt like the childhood version of how we wished the world could be. Copacetic in way that every place tried to copy and then restructure demanding rules and regulations. The best way to describe it was, it felt right.

  I looked at the children trying to find Eliza. I had to search more because the "white" kids were dressed similar to the Native Americans. This felt more like a school in my time, granted we were missing a few more ethnicities. It was nice to see though.

  A flash of blonde hair caught my eye and had me watching a little girl squealing trying to catch a little boy. She turned my way and it took a moment before I recognized her as Eliza. She looked so happy. Her hair was a mess and there was dirt coating her legs and hands. But that smile lit her face up and made her so beautiful. Any lingering doubt I had for the children vanished. She was right where she needed to be.

  A woman called out to the children in a different language and they went running to the hut she sat beside. I turned my attention back to Ollie when he squeezed my hand tighter. The others were already walking forward towards Aska, who to Nick’s dismay, did have on a shirt today.

  I gave Ollie's hand a tug when he remained frozen in place. His eyes were wild, and he kept looking around at everyone as if he expected to be burned any minute. Aska's sweet voice called Ollie's name and that panic seemed to multiply. Fuck, I don't think he is ready for this.

  "Hey." I put both hands on his face bringing his focus down to me and only me. He still kept a grip on my hand making it slightly awkward, but we both ignored it. "We can leave right n
ow. Turn around and walk away to anywhere you want to go. We can take a boat and cross the ocean for all I care. You choose and we will do it." I took a breath and released it before continuing. "But if you want this. To confront your past today and try to move forward tomorrow then I'll stand right beside you the whole time. Even if that means I have to punch a few people while we make a getaway, I'm in. What's it going to be Ollie, are we in or out?"

  He kept looking back and forth watching my eyes and made no other movements. It's like he was stuck in a moment and scared to take a step, so we were waiting on the world to move for us. Problem was, it never stopped moving. We did.

  "What's it going to be Ollie?" I firmed my voice. "Are we in?" I gave him a little shake to get him moving. "Or are we out?" I dropped my hands from his face and kept ahold of our connection. His eyes steadied on me as Aska's voice carried on with the others behind us.

  "In." He barely got out. Clearing his throat, he looked over my head towards the others. "In." His voice was steadier. He pulled me after him as he stepped up to join the rest.

  Aska smiled a big smile at us and rushed forward for a hug from Ollie. She nearly knocked me off my feet as she tackled him and released our joined hands in the process. She was speaking to him too low for me to hear, but I caught some of the words. "Proud" and "finally" were among them. I turned away from the two when an uncomfortable feeling lodged in my chest that I refused to name.

  My eyes met Raynor's stare and the knowing in them had me searching out someone else. Isaake was watching the two with a strange look on his face. He turned to me when he felt my gaze and smiled. He looked relieved. Nick was the last one who I looked towards and found kneeling beside another. His smile broke up the feelings in my chest that were causing too many emotions.

  I found myself beside him before I fully realized what child he kneeled beside. Eliza was talking animatedly and gesturing towards the others. I pulled out the only thing she seemed to be missing here.