Doctor Feel Good: A Novel From The Be Yours Series

by Saffire, Blue

  No, not the club.

  I’ll go home as I originally planned.

  * * *

  Divine

  “What your father and I are saying is that you’re still young. There’s time to meet a nice guy and get married. We don’t understand why you feel you need to do this,” My mother says.

  I sink into the couch and clench my teeth. They’ve been at it for two hours now. First she started during dinner, ruining the taste of the cornbread, seasoned green beans, and roasted Cornish hen. Then my father jumped in, causing my ice cream to melt while I looked at him in awe. He never gets in the middle of my mother wanting to run all of our lives.

  They can talk until they’re blue in the face. My mind is made up. I’m not changing it. I wish they’d leave me alone. It’s my body, my life, my decision.

  “This is what I’ve decided on.”

  “You don’t even know who’s sperm you’ll be getting. How can this be what you want?” My father says as he gives half of his attention to the game on the TV.

  I’d escaped from the kitchen table to lure him into the living room, hoping he’d lose interest all together and get lost in the game. It’s not working tonight as these two gang up on me.

  “Daddy, in all seriousness. I can date and sleep with someone to get pregnant and still not know who I’m getting. Guys, I’m tired and you’re not going to change my mind.” I sigh and sag my shoulders.

  It’s like I’ve been in the boxing ring since I arrived. I want to go home and get into my bed. Thank god they didn’t bring my siblings in for this intervention.

  “The point is to get married and not be out here sleeping with random dicks,” he mumbles under his breath. “Damn fouls better not let me find them sniffling around without intentions to put a ring on it.”

  I roll my eyes at him and rub my temples. These two are intent on giving me a migraine. Do I have any Tequila at home? I’m going to need it.

  “Div, we just want what’s best for you. Why haven’t you taken your neighbor up on his offers to go on a date?” mom says.

  I blink once at my mother so hard, my eyes hurt. She can’t be serious. My father even has to cover his mouth and turn way.

  “Okay, I’m not sure where in all this I give you the impression that I’m desperate. I’m thirty-five and I want a baby. I get plenty of male attention, I’m just not interested in a relationship.” I stand and lean to kiss my mother’s cheek. “You will get over it once your new grandbaby gets here.”

  “Divine,” my mother calls sternly.

  “Night, Mommy. Night, Daddy,” I say hugging my father.

  “We want to see you next weekend at the barbeque,” my father calls to my back.

  We get together as a family at least twice a month. If Daddy can barbeque during those get togethers he’s in heaven. I love watching him and my mother dance around the yard together.

  I used to want that. Someone that I could have the soul deep connection with. Someone to grab me around the waist and not care who’s around so he could dance me around and sing to me.

  Yeah, I gave up on that bullshit dream a long time ago. My daddy is a one of a kind. I love him for that but I’m not going to put that type of pressure on myself to find another like him.

  “Yup, I’ll be here,” I wave a hand over my shoulder. “I’ll have the potato salad.”

  “That’s my girl,” my father shouts and claps his hands.

  “You know you’re no damn help,” my mother chides.

  I shake my head and leave out of the door. My older brother, Nashawn used my car while I was out of town. I had him drop it off here since I knew my parents had plans to torture me and hold me captive. Daddy moved my things into my vehicle before we went into the house.

  I hop in my car and turn it on. “Un-fucking-believable,” I mutter. He left my shit on damn near E. I’m going to curse his ass out for not gassing up my car before returning it.

  Good thing my house is so close by. I drive home and park, too tired to stop to fill the car up. Nashawn will be dropping off some gas with his trifling behind.

  Turning off the car, I stare at my home. It looks too quiet and empty. I fell in love with the place when I first bought it. Although I don’t live far from my parents, my neighborhood is still a few steps up from theirs. This house was the first move I made that caused my success to start to set in.

  However, as I look at it I have to wonder what did I really accomplish. I’ll get out of this car and walk into that empty house. This baby is something I truly want. Someone to share all the things I’ve built with.

  My family may drive me crazy and get on my damn nerves but I love them. I loved growing up with so many siblings, three brothers and a sister. As horrible as I was treated as the baby, it gave me thick skin.

  A part of me questions if I’m being selfish. I don’t know if I’ll go through with the IUI more than once after a successful conception and birth. If I only have one baby on the first try it will be just the two of us.

  “You could find a man,” I murmur to myself.

  I frown in the same breath. Looking out of my passenger’s side window I see my neighbor, Melvin, ducking to see into my car. Nope, I’ll take my chances with the sperm donors.

  Chapter 3

  Options

  Omid

  It’s good to be back home and in the swing of things. It’s been three weeks and I’ve fallen right back into my routine effortlessly. I love my job.

  Keeping women healthy and helping them to have families brings me a joy I could never explain. I get to oversee the safe passage of their little ones. I’m there to watch tears of hopelessness turn to tears of joy. I think the other doctors in the firm have the same joy.

  I met Dr. John Nobi a few years back at my cousins club during a party. We got to talking and found out we had a lot in common. I wanted to start a practice where I could research and work with fertility but some of the licensing and grants I wanted to go for would’ve been counterproductive to those that work to keep my life under the radar.

  I’m okay with not having my name on display or on my research. Dr. Nobi has been someone I could trust with this fact. After running into each other at a few seminars and learning that we run in pretty much the same circle, we decided to work together.

  John being a little older than me took me on as a little brother of sorts. Not when we’re working. Dr. Nobi has the highest respect for me as a doctor. This practice was born of our mutual respect and we’ve been one of the top ten West Coast practices for the last five years.

  “Ah, some of my favorite patients,” I croon as I step into the examination room. “Johnathan, it’s always good to see you.”

  “Omid,” John pulls me in for a hug and slap on the back. “Good to see you.”

  “Always good to see a Black in my office. I think I have at least one birth from each of you under my belt now,” I laugh.

  “Don’t be surprised if you see Wyatt or Noah’s ass again soon,” he laughs.

  “You guys always make delivery interesting,” I say with a smile. “How are we mom? Ready to see this little one today?”

  “I want pineapples, pretzels, and caramel. He promised them to me after we leave here. Let’s make this quick,” she snaps.

  I grin some more. This isn’t Nelly or Bean. I expected nothing more. This mother and father are two that intrigue me. I can see their love, but it’s only because they can’t hide it. Still, it’s not because of their being overly affectionate. It’s just something about them.

  “We still don’t want to know the sex,” John says quickly.

  “No problem, I enjoyed the bet you two had going last time,” I say as I squirt gel onto my patients swollen belly. The tough exterior fades a bit as the worry of a mother sets in. “Let’s find this little one and see what’s new.”

  Silence fills the room until a tiny heartbeat breaks through. This is the part of my job that I love. Watching to see the love of a mother and father come to
life as they see the little life that’s growing inside.

  “Everything looks great. I’ll take a few images and you can go for your snacks.”

  “Thanks,” she says softly.

  John grins like a proud poppa, bending to kiss her lips. “How about we fly out to New York for the weekend. You can get some of that jerk chicken you love,” he says lovingly.

  “Oh, you’re trying to butter me up. I told you I’m not doing this again,” she says sternly, which I’ve come to know as her teasing.

  “Sure,” he says and bites his lip as he gives her a look that I’m sure I shouldn’t be seeing.

  But I do see it. I see what I’ve been longing for. I look back at the screen at the frozen image of their little one. I’m thirty-eight, my practice is booming, I have a great house and a few condos. I drive a Mercedes to work and own a Range Rover, Lamborghini, Aston Martin, and Porsche. Yet I don’t have this, a family.

  “Omid… Dr. Omid?” Johnathan’s voice pulls me back to the room.

  “Oh, sorry.” I get the images from the printer. “Here you are. Pictures to take with you. Any questions for me?”

  John looks at me with knitted brows. A few things cross his face before he speaks. “You okay? It’s been awhile since you came over to hang out. Ryan’s dragging us all out to some new place he can’t shut up about next weekend. You in?”

  I think about it. I always have a good time when I hang out with the Blacks. Their father has been such an important part of my life. Once the brothers joined the private investigation firm they have become entwined in my life as well.

  They say we are all separated by six degrees. I’m inclined to believe that. From my cousins to my business partner to my circle of friends, we’re all connected somehow.

  The list goes on and on. When I hang with the Black brothers I’m surely in for a night of laughs and entertainment. For a minute, I get ready to say no. All of the guys are in relationships, married with children.

  “Come on. It will be fun,” he coax when I don’t respond.

  “Okay, I’ll see if I can make it and send you a text.”

  He pats me on the shoulder and nods. I give a wave to them both and leave the room. Moving to the exam room down the hall closer to the reception desk, I pick up the file in the slot attached to the door. I place my hand on the knob just as I hear Dr. Nobi’s voice at the front desk.

  “You ladies have nothing to be worried about. You’ll be in good hands.”

  The next voice I hear raises every hair on my body. I can’t blame my dreams or imagination this time. I know it’s her. All this time and that voice still tugs at my heart and sets my blood on fire.

  “I can’t wait,” she says excitedly. “Do you think we’ll be able to have the same due date?”

  Dr. Nobi chuckles. “I think we can target the same date. It’s going to depend on a few things, like each of your body’s response to the treatments,” he replies.

  “Don’t mind my cousin. She’s a little crazy. Even if we have the same due dates that doesn’t mean the babies will come on the same dates,” someone else says.

  “Thanks again.” That voice wraps around me and squeezes. I can only see Nobi’s back from here. He’s blocking my view of the two women he’s talking to.

  “No problem. See you both next time,” Dr. Nobi says.

  Snapping out of it, I shake my head and start for the front desk. “Hi, Dr. Omid, are you coming inside?” I bite out a curse under my breath and debate pretending I don’t hear the woman standing less than a foot away talking to me.

  Turning, I put on a smile. “Yes, Ms. Oliver. I’ll be right with you.”

  “Don’t worry. I have to go to the little girls room for the third time. Bladders is brimming over again,” she snickers.

  “Take your time,” I say and turn to head out front.

  I don’t make it there in time. When I step out the door into the waiting room, I don’t see the familiar face I’m looking for. Dr. Nobi is leaning over the desk talking to our receptionist and medical assistants.

  “Brenda, when you make appointments for the ladies they’d like to be together. Once their labs are in, I want to see both of their charts,” he says.

  “Yes, doctor,” Brenda replies.

  “New patients?” I ask coolly when I’m anything but.

  “Hey, yeah. Come back to my office. I wanted to talk to you.”

  I follow him to his office holding my breath. All I need is her name. That’s all I want to hear.

  I can’t even sit when we get behind the closed doors. I brace myself against the back of the chair. Due dates. She’s here to have a baby. Is she gay? It wouldn’t be the first time we had a lesbian couple come in with both partners wanting to experience the birth first hand.

  If she’s not gay, where’s her man? Why wasn’t he here for such a big step in their lives? Is she married? Does he pamper her the way she deserves?

  “That was Marica Thompson. Maybe you remember her husband. My buddy from high school. He was a soldier—”

  “I remember him. The guys that wanted his wife to have a baby if he didn’t make it home. Shit, he didn’t make it home,” I say and move to take a seat.

  Dr. Nobi’s eyes take on the distant look. “No. He died about a year ago. I’ve been waiting for her to show up. ”

  “Damn,” I say and pull a hand down my face. “Nice guy. He had a presence about him. I remember how happy he was that he could live on in this way. You know? I’d just hoped you wouldn’t have to make good on this promise to him.”

  “Exactly. We have to make sure this is a success for her, for him.”

  I know John. He’s a true friend. He will make it his mission to see this woman through this and keep his word to his friend. It’s the way he’s wired.

  “What about the other patient? Does she have the same story?” I say not able to hold it in as my mind circles back to that voice.

  “Oh no,” he says shaking his head. “That one is an entirely different story. She’s thirty-five and ready to become a mom and has no intention on waiting for a partner to do it with.”

  “Can I see her file?” He nods and slides it across the desk.

  I pick it up and swear I can hear my own breathing above everything else. I open the folder and look at the name on the intake form. I close my eyes as I’m thrown back in time.

  “Arman, when are we going to meet? I want to see you in person. You said you’re staying with your family here in L.A. I can get away. I can come meet you,” she said as I held the phone tightly to my ear.

  “I don’t know. I want to see you as well,” I said. “It’s just not as easy for me. My cousins have gone to New York for a bit. When they return I’m going to try my best to get to you.”

  “Will you tell me you love me again?”

  “Seni seviyorum.”

  “It sounds so beautiful when you say it that way. I hope I get to see you before you have to go back home,” she says. That sadness returning to her voice. I hated to hear her so sad.

  I thought a million times of asking my father to allow me to stay in America. I want to study medicine here. Maybe he will be lenient if he knows I want to be a doctor.

  However, I know he will never approve of the girl I’ve fallen in love with. I’m not a fool to think there isn’t a wife waiting for me when I return to Shiraz. It’s the reason I chose now to beg to come to America.

  “We will make it happen,” I replied.

  “I love you, Arman. Promise me we’ll figure out how to be together.”

  “I love you too, Divine. I will do everything in my power for us to be together.”

  And I did. I did everything I could. I walked away from my family, my home. The pain starts to dig in and take root.

  “Are you okay?” Dr. Nobi asks.

  “Yes, I will be now,” I say and place the file down. “I should get to my next patient.”

  He nods and turns his attention back to the papers in front of him. I
stand and leave his office. When I’m outside of the door, I bend over and place my hands on my knees.

  “Divine Favors. I’ve found you.”

  * * *

  Divine

  “Girl, I don’t know how you do it. You’re always on,” Marica says as I end the live I just recorded while she drives.

  I have a new line of lipsticks coming out and I’ve been taking my followers though the entire process. Marica and I stopped at the office after our appointments. I just wanted to do a quick check-in before we had lunch and did some shopping.

  “I don’t let them into as much of my life as you think. I thought about sharing the pregnancy and the process but some things are just too personal,” I reply.

  “So true. I just don’t have the patience to always have on makeup, always be high energy. I need my downtime and space. I need to be able to turn off. Even with what you don’t share you seem like such an open book,” she says.

  “It’s a part of my business now.” I shrug. “I do what I need to do.”

  “Yeah, I hear you. What did you think of Dr. Nobi?”

  “Other than the fact that the man is fine as fuck? Like seriously. The grey at the temples. He’s fine as hell. I was praying I didn’t embarrass myself in there,” I say.

  “You’re crazy.” She laughs.

  “Whatever. You were thinking the same thing. It’s okay, you can say it. I won’t tell.”

  “Okay, he might have been cute. I wasn’t focused on that.”

  I turn full toward her in my seat. I know my cousin. She’s lying her ass off. She was checking that man out just as much I was.

  “Anyway. I’m excited. I can’t wait until we can start shopping for the babies. This is going to be amazing.”

  “I am getting excited about it. I think Dr. Nobi’s gentle bedside manor put me at ease a bit,” she muses.