A Matter of Heart

by Tracie Peterson

  “Gentlemen, I believe you make a good case. Mr. Wythe, I am of the opinion that your appearance here today lends support to your innocence. I consider myself a man of discernment, and I will afford you protection from prosecution in any way that I can. Not many men have inspired me to pledge as much, but I feel certain this is God’s will. I have friends in the Denver area and will take this up with them, as well, should the need arise. They will be most eager to see this worked out, as am I.”

  “Thank you, your honor,” Jake replied. “I appreciate that. And my family does, too.”

  The counterfeit bills were collected as final comments and suggestions were offered. Austin felt that their time together had been beneficial. The meeting closed and some of the parties went their separate ways, each man with his assigned responsibilities. All were determined to put an end to the problem of counterfeiting.

  Austin arranged for a private audience with Carson and Deeters over supper. He’d already informed Jake of the plan but now worried that maybe his friend would rather do otherwise. “I hope you don’t mind if we do business with our meal,” he told Jake. “I figured this would be our only chance unless we stay longer in the morning.”

  “I don’t mind one bit. I’m anxious to get home, but this is vital to my well-being, and even more so to Marty’s. And to the Barnetts’. Might as well make the best of our time, and if that means we work while we eat, then so be it.”

  “I suppose we could head out after our meeting. We could take the train from here to Cedar Springs. I understand there’s a 7:45 this evening. It’d be difficult but not impossible.”

  Jake gave an appreciative grin. “You don’t have to worry about me, Austin. I appreciate that you’ve been willin’ to help us with this.” He sobered considerably. “I figure we have to resolve this, or we’ll always be lookin’ over our shoulders. I can’t live like that.”

  It was only a week before Thanksgiving, and Jessica felt the excitement of the season as well as the fact that tomorrow was her birthday. Her parents had always treated birthdays as a special event, but often Jessica’s birthday got delayed and celebrated with Thanksgiving. She had no idea what her mother had planned this year.

  “You’re certainly quiet today,” Mother said, motioning Jessica to raise her hands. She looped the yarn around Jessica’s fingers and started to wind the yarn into a ball. “Is something wrong?”

  “I’ve been thinking about Thanksgiving and then, of course, Christmas.” Jessica glanced down at the dyed yarn. The rosy color would look nice made into a sweater for Johanna. At least that was what Mother had planned.

  “And what of your birthday? It’s tomorrow, or have you forgotten?” Mother asked, glancing up. “I can’t believe my baby is going to be twenty-two.”

  “Me either,” Jessica admitted. “All of my friends are married, and most have children, and I have nothing to show for my time on earth except myself.”

  “That is a matter of opinion. You’ve touched the lives of others and influenced them.”

  “Yes, but mostly in negative ways,” Jessica replied. “I want things to be different from now on. I want this to be a new start.”

  Mother refocused on the yarn. “I think that’s an admirable idea. But for now, wouldn’t you like to know what I’ve planned for you?”

  Jessica smiled. “Whatever it is, I will be content and happy.”

  “I’m glad to hear that,” Mother said. “Since it’s a Friday this year, I’ve invited a few people over to share dinner with us. The Barnetts and Wythes will be here helping to butcher hogs, so it seemed only right to have them stay for supper and cake. Lupe has already been hard at work to create one of her delicious coconut cakes.”

  “Who else have you invited?” Jessica asked, quite curious. “Will the boys be home?” Her brothers had been absent for so long that Jessica feared they would make southern Texas their permanent residence.

  “No, the boys won’t be here. They’ve agreed to help build a church just across the border in Mexico. The minister of that congregation heard about the houses their teams had been building, and he begged them to help erect the church. It seemed they had some of the supplies needed but definitely could use more financial and physical help. We arranged some of the former, while the boys filled in the latter. Most of the other men had to return to their homes, but Howard and Isaac decided to stay—and with our blessing. What they’re doing is important. So often people think of sharing God’s love by preaching or reading the Bible to someone. More often, we can show people Jesus by demonstrating kindness and love in practical ways.”

  Jessica wasn’t happy to know her brothers would remain in the South. It wasn’t that she didn’t believe they were doing good works, but she missed them and knew that Father needed their help with the ranch. “I knew they’d find some reason to stay. Sometimes I worry they’ll never come back to ranching.”

  “Nonsense. It’s in their blood. They’ll be back. They’re just enjoying their youth.”

  “They’re older than I,” Jessica countered. “Everyone is always telling me that I should already be settled with children. Why is it my brothers may continue enjoying their youth without correction?”

  “That’s how it is for a man. If he doesn’t marry before he’s thirty, people call him wise and laud him for his choice.” Mother shook her head and reached over to undo a tangle in the yarn. “As for women, it’s the opposite. A woman is supposed to marry young and have children. This is the way it’s always been, and I doubt it will ever change. But, Jessica, I thought you wanted to be married. I remember your saying that with a wealthy enough husband you could see the world and all its splendors.”

  Jessica frowned. “That was the old me. The new me wants whatever is meant for me. I’m trying to understand what God wants. If it’s marriage and children, then I believe I will be happy with that. If it’s something else, then I will be content with that.”

  Releasing the yarn, Mother gave Jessica’s knee a pat. “I’m glad to hear it. Wealth can buy only so much happiness. Real joy and peace come through knowing God’s will and ways. Watch and listen for His direction.”

  Jessica knew her mother was right, but she couldn’t really say she knew what was next expected of her by her heavenly Father. How did one learn to hear the voice of God?

  “So do you want to know who else I’ve invited to share your birthday?” Mother asked.

  Jessica had nearly forgotten that she’d asked. “Of course.”

  “Well, I gave it a lot of thought and even brought your father in on the decision. After we discussed it at length, I invited Aunt Laura and Uncle Brandon to come. And your father thought it would be nice to invite some of your . . . friends. Like Mr. Todd and Mr. Gable.”

  Jessica felt her face grow hot. Obviously her father and mother thought of Austin and Harrison as appropriate suitors for their daughter; otherwise they would never have considered such a thing.

  “And did you invite them?” she asked, trying hard to sound as if she didn’t care.

  “I did. I am happy to say that both agreed to come.”

  Jessica glanced at the yarn in an effort to hide her delight. “I’m glad they can make it.” She heard Mother chuckle and looked up to see her watching in amusement. “Why are you laughing?”

  “You. You’re trying so hard to convince me that it doesn’t matter, but I know it does. I’m not so old that I don’t remember the thrill of being pursued.”

  “You’re not old at all, Mother. I heard Father say just the other day that you look as young and beautiful as when he first married you.”

  “His eyesight is failing.” Mother smiled and continued with her task. “Still, I’m glad to hear he thinks I look the same. The evidence of the years is upon us both, and time is not always kind.” She grew thoughtful.

  “But I really can’t complain. The years have been good, and the holidays are always such a special time. I remember your first Christmas. Goodness, but you were just a newborn
—barely a month old. I was so happy to have another girl. I feared Gloria would be the only one, and she did so much want a sister.”

  “It must have been difficult, what with so many little ones,” Jessica said, thinking back on stories she’d heard of her mother and father’s early years.

  “It was,” Mother admitted, “but good things usually come at a price.” Her expression was reflective. “You must remember that I had my sister close by, and Gloria was eight years old and a lot of help. We were also starting to do quite well for ourselves. Your father hired a girl to come cook and clean for us. She was Lupe’s older sister.” She shrugged. “I don’t regret any of it. Your father always made me feel safe and well cared for. I was seldom afraid with him at my side.” She paused in her work. “I want that for you, Jess. I want that more than I can say. I pray all the time for you to find the right man to marry. I know that God has a man for you.”

  Jessica heard the sincerity in her mother’s voice. It touched her heart that Mother should care so deeply about her happiness. She supposed no one could ever love her as much as her mother and father, but Mother believed there was one man out there for her who would try. Jessica wanted to believe with all her heart that it was true.

  “But what if He doesn’t?” she murmured, doubt creeping in.

  “What?” Her mother looked perplexed.

  “What if God doesn’t have a man for me? What if I’m to remain unmarried?” Jessica wondered if God would punish her in such a manner for her selfish years. “Some women do, you know. Look at Eleanor Barnett. She prefers women’s rights and politics to marriage and children.”

  “I know He has a husband for you, Jess. Don’t ask me how; I just know it. One day you will marry and be happy. But don’t take me wrong. Marriage will be work—the hardest work you’ll ever do.” Mother paused and smiled, adding, “And the most rewarding.”

  The next evening, Jessica found herself the center of attention. Well, at least most everyone’s attention. Austin seemed rather distant, although he had made polite conversation and wished her well. On the other hand, Harrison was making somewhat of an annoyance of himself. He constantly sought to be at her side and whispered comments in her ear, as if they were already intimate. She couldn’t help but thrill to his touch when he put his hand on her arm, but even so, it was Austin whose attention she was trying to get.

  By the time supper was over and the birthday cake was served, Jessica found herself deep in thought. Harrison Gable was a stunningly handsome man with dark brown eyes and a gentle smile. He was obviously intelligent, having studied and practiced law with great success. He also had his eye on a future that included travel and living well. Austin, on the other hand, was equally handsome, but his features were completely different. Where Harrison’s hair was brown-black, Austin’s was a sun-kissed brown. Where Harrison had a bit of curl to his hair, Austin’s was as straight as string. And to be sure, Austin was smart. He might not have Harrison’s book learning, but he was nobody’s fool.

  “Do you like the cake?” Mother asked.

  Jessica looked up and nodded. “It’s delicious.”

  “And do you like the company?”

  A smile crept across Jessica’s lips. “Some of the best I’ve ever had.”

  Mother leaned in to whisper. “So who’s in the lead?”

  Jessica pulled back and looked at her. “What do you mean?” she whispered back.

  “Austin and Harrison—who’s winning the race to capture your heart?”

  Jessica’s confusion became feigned surprise. “Mother, really,” she responded, her lips to her mother’s ear. “You sound as if you’re trying to matchmake. I thought we were just celebrating my birthday.”

  Her mother laughed and the melodious sound delighted Jessica’s heart. She couldn’t help but grin and give a little shrug.

  Sunday morning dawned cloudy and cool. Jessica feared they might have to endure a cold rain on the way to church and was glad when her father brought around the enclosed carriage.

  The weather, however, cleared a bit by the time they reached the church in Cedar Springs. Jessica was still reflecting on her birthday and how pleasurable her time had been with both Harrison and Austin present. She didn’t even mind anymore that Harrison had acted so intimate with her in front of the others. She felt quite special and nothing was going to ruin her memories.

  The Atherton family took their place in the family pew and awaited the beginning of the service. Jessica wondered if Austin and Harrison were in attendance but didn’t want to look around for them. No doubt someone would see her and guess her mission.

  The pastor offered a prayer and then invited the congregation to sing a hymn of praise. By the time they’d reached the fourth stanza, Harrison Gable had slipped into the pew beside Jessica. They exchanged a smile, but Jessica refocused her attention on the song. Then to her surprise as they started to sing the second hymn, Austin Todd appeared. He frowned at Gable but softened his harsh expression when Jessica met his eyes. To her surprise, Austin moved past both of them to take his place between Jessica and her mother. His nearness pleased Jessica, and his smooth baritone singing was most pleasurable to hear.

  Jessica tried to keep her thoughts under control. This seating arrangement meant nothing. No doubt the other pews were full and the men had no other choice but to sit in her family’s pew. Since her brothers were still away, it seemed the logical choice. Not only that, but Austin knew her parents better than he knew Mr. Gable. He most likely had made his choice based on the comfort of being with folks he knew. At least, that was her rationale.

  As the music concluded and the congregation reclaimed their seats, Jessica had almost convinced herself.

  The pastor offered another prayer and then encouraged the congregation to take out their Bibles. “In the second book of Corinthians, chapter five,” he began, “the apostle Paul pleads the case for man to be reconciled with God. Let me share his thoughts.” He leafed through several pages and began to read.

  “‘Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation.’” He looked up from the Bible. “Make certain you understand. We are only reconciled to God through Jesus. There is no other way, and the Bible makes this clear.”

  Jessica felt as if he were speaking directly to her. She swallowed hard, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable. What was it about these particular Scriptures that made her uneasy? The pastor continued reading.

  “‘To wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation.’” He looked up. “And here is the key: ‘For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him.’” Closing his Bible, the pastor stepped away from the small pulpit.

  “Jesus made himself sin for us—that we might be reconciled to the Father in heaven. Jesus, who had never sinned, became the essence of sin that we might be saved. If that doesn’t humble you, then something is wrong in the way you think.”

  Jessica’s heart took on the full impact of the man’s words. Reconciliation with God was something she’d not truly considered. In fact, she hadn’t even been aware that it was missing. She’d never really felt the need to be reconciled with God. From the time she was small, church and its Christian teachings had been a part of her life that she took for granted.

  “Paul urged people to be reconciled with God—to know the truth that comes to us through the Scriptures. Jesus is that truth. It is Christ and Christ alone who makes it possible for us—mere sinners—to be brought into right accord with the Father. It is nothing of ourselves and everything of Him who died to save us.”

  Jessica looked down at the floor. She was scarcely able to draw breath for the impact of the preacher’s words. This was what was
missing in her life. This was the oneness that she had longed for. It wasn’t a husband or children. It wasn’t wealth or new gowns. It was the need to truly belong—to be reconciled to her Father in heaven. It was Jesus whom she longed for. She couldn’t make the past right. She couldn’t change a single word or action, but she could become new through Christ.

  The preacher continued to speak on the same passages, and by the time he concluded and asked if anyone in the congregation felt God’s call upon their heart, Jessica could hardly sit still. She felt drawn as if someone were pulling her forward. Without any thought to what others might think, Jessica got to her feet, stumbled past Harrison, and made her way to the altar. She was becoming new—throwing off the old and the ugly, the sin nature that had done her no favors.

  She wanted to cry and laugh at the same time. She was being reconciled, and it felt like a new birth.

  Chapter 17

  Sunday the sixth of December found Austin at the Barnett Ranch sharing the noon meal with the Barnett and Wythe families. Austin had found real love and acceptance from these people, and he didn’t take that for granted. He had long since ceased to be just a man who inspected their cattle and agreed to patrol their new little town. He felt as if he’d been made a member of the family.

  His mind warned him of the danger, but his heart craved the love they extended. Mrs. Barnett mothered him as his own might have done prior to his brother’s death. Austin tried to force the memories from his mind and was grateful when Alice Barnett spoke up.

  “Mr. Todd, I have something I’d like to show you. Robert said it might be useful to you in your investigation.”

  This surprised Austin, but he didn’t show it. Alice was so like a little bird. She was lovely to look at despite the scar on the right side of her face, but she was easily spooked and unnerved by the things that were happening.

  “I’d be honored to take a look,” Austin replied, pushing back from the table. Already Hannah and Marty were beginning to clear the table.