A Matter of Heart

by Tracie Peterson

  “Well, I, for one, intend to take me a bit of a rest in the front room.” Mr. Barnett looked at Jake. “Care to join me?”

  “I would,” Jake said, following Mr. Barnett from the room.

  Austin started to get to his feet, but Alice bade him otherwise. “We can just stay right here. Hannah said it wouldn’t be a problem. I’ll go check on Wills and then bring the letters.” She disappeared from the room, leaving Austin to turn to Robert.

  “Letters?”

  The other man gave a curt nod. “Correspondence between her father and mother, as well as business dealings. We were hopeful they might lend a clue to where Chesterfield might have put those plates and certificates.”

  Austin considered it a moment. “They very well might. I know the other two agents helping me in this are finding very little.”

  Alice reappeared just then, and in her hands she held two stacks of letters. Placing them on the table, she took a seat and pushed one stack toward Austin.

  “These are the writings of my mother to my father and a few of his letters to her that Mother saved. They were not pleasant to read, by any means. My parents were unhappy with each other, and my father blamed my mother for things that were clearly untrue.”

  “I’m honored that you would trust me to read them. I promise to be discreet about their contents,” Austin assured her.

  Alice took a deep breath and reached for the second stack. “These are business dealings, invoices, and such. Mother said she very nearly burned them, not seeing any real purpose for them, but she thought perhaps I would want them. Now I’m of a mind they may be of use to you.”

  “They just might,” Austin said. “There haven’t been very many clues, and Mr. Morgan hasn’t appeared again to Jake. Reading through these might give us some idea of where to look next.”

  Alice looked to Robert. He squeezed her hand. “Mr. Todd will see this brought to an end.”

  She looked back at Austin, and the pain and fear in her eyes were almost his undoing. He wanted more than ever to help her—to help them all be rid of the demons that tormented their family.

  “There’s one more thing,” Alice said, reaching into a small bag she had attached to her waistband. From it she pulled a small bronze key. “This was in one of the envelopes. There were no markings on the envelope, but this key was wrapped in a piece of paper and left inside.” She pushed the key across the linen tablecloth and left it to Austin’s

  scrutiny.

  He picked the piece up and pondered its purpose. It wasn’t a normal door key, nor did it look like one used for winding a clock. The key resembled a tiny violin or perhaps a banjo. One end had a solid round piece of brass by which to hold the key. The end resembled the tuning pegs on the neck of a stringed instrument.

  “I’ve never seen anything quite like it,” Austin admitted.

  “Neither have we,” Robert said. The envelope had no markings and there was no indication as to where the key might belong.

  “I’ll check into it,” Austin promised. “It might very well be important.”

  “I hope so. I hope all of this proves to be of use,” Alice said, her eyes seeming to implore him to assure her it would.

  “Thank you, Mrs. Barnett. I’m convinced this will lend me a clue or two.” Austin put the key into his pocket. “I presume I may take the letters home with me?”

  “Of course. Keep them as long as you like,” Alice replied.

  Rather than linger, Austin took up the letters and made his way to the front door. He gave a wave to Jake and William. “Thanks again for dinner. If you don’t mind, I’m gonna take my leave. I have a bit of reading that needs my attention.”

  “Good to see you again, Austin,” William said. “I’m excited at the turn of events regarding the rail line, and as soon as the officials come to see me, I’ll be in touch. We’re just about to get the tracks started. The railroad is gonna be doin’ more detailed surveying most of December.”

  Austin nodded and headed from the house. His horse awaited him in the barn, where Robert had given it fresh hay to enjoy while Austin ate with the family. He quickly added the letters to his saddlebag, then readied his mount. He made his way from the Barnett Ranch with every intention of heading home. However, when he came to the turnoff for the Atherton place, Austin couldn’t help himself. He had seen Jessica in church that morning, and she was all he could think about. He’d given up trying to guard his heart and knew the painful truth. He was falling in love with her.

  His inner warning still attempted to make him turn back. He thought again of Grace and how awful it had been to lose her. If only he wouldn’t have insisted on their living in the country, away from the dangers of the city.

  “She’s in a better place—the baby, too,” he told himself aloud. “She loved me and would want me to go on living.” He knew it was true, but there was a part of him that feared being loved like other men feared death.

  At the Athertons’, Austin was eagerly greeted by Mr. Atherton. “Welcome, Austin. Come on in. What brings you our way?”

  “I shared lunch with the Barnetts, and . . . well . . . I thought it might be nice to check in with you.”

  Tyler Atherton assessed him momentarily. “I think I know why you’re really here. Jess is down at the springhouse. You might wanna make your way there. It’ll give you a nice walk back—together.”

  Austin met the man’s smile and nodded. “Thank you, Mr. Atherton.”

  “My pleasure. Just go around the house to the back and make your way down the path to the right. It’ll lead you to the springhouse . . . and to Jess.”

  Austin nodded again, nervous. He left Atherton and did as he’d been instructed, making his way down the path. His hands felt clammy and he wiped them on his Levi’s, all the while chiding himself for letting the stress of the moment get to him.

  He spotted the springhouse and the stream of water that ran under and through it. What a prize to have a cold spring on their property. Smiling, Austin thought this a rather secluded and perfect meeting place for young lovers. Not wishing to startle Jessica, he called out.

  “Miss Atherton, are you here?”

  It was only a moment before Jessica peeked out the door. “Mr. Todd, I wasn’t expecting to see you again today.”

  “I hope you don’t mind. I didn’t have a chance to speak to you at church.”

  “I was just putting away some things for my mother. I’m finished now, so we can talk all you’d like.”

  He watched her secure the springhouse door. She was dressed very simply in a dark brown skirt and calico blouse, which could barely be seen under the oversized coat she wore. Perhaps she had borrowed one of her brother’s work coats to keep warm in the springhouse. She wore her hair casually pulled back with a ribbon. He recalled that in church it had been pinned up in an attractive manner with a little hat. Austin preferred it this way, however. In fact, if he could have been so bold, he would have released it all together. There was something very intimate about seeing a woman with her hair down.

  Jessica joined him. He could see she was fully aware that he’d been assessing her. She smiled. “Would you like to walk while we talk?”

  He grinned. “I kind of liked it back here. Seems pretty out of the way.”

  She laughed. “There is a very nice path to the orchard. I think you’ll enjoy it. Come on.”

  Austin let her lead him. The couple remained silent until they reached the orchard. “The fruit has all been harvested,” Jessica began, “but it’s still a lovely place. In a few months this will all be in bloom, and the scent will be wondrous. I love springtime with everything coming to life.”

  Austin struggled to put his mind on the conversation. “Uh . . . it can be a troublesome thing, too. What with twisters and such. We never had many of those back in Virginia.”

  Her expression grew thoughtful as she looked into his eyes. “I wonder if I might impose upon you?”

  Austin could only smile. “In what way?”
<
br />   “I want to know more about you.”

  He felt his breath catch deep in his throat. He cared about this woman, and he knew there could be no future for them unless he told her of the past.

  “All right,” he said softly. “What would you like to know?”

  “Tell me about your family. Do you have brothers or sisters?”

  “I did,” Austin said, trying not to betray his discomfort. “I had a brother . . . Houston. My mother’s way of staying connected with Texas was to name us boys after beloved cities. I think I told you that she was raised in Texas but moved to Virginia.”

  “Yes. You said you had a brother. Does that mean he’s passed on?”

  Austin took off his hat and pushed back his hair. Replacing the hat, he squared his shoulders. “Yes. It was a tragedy that involved us both. It started a terrible cycle of death in my life.”

  She looked at him oddly. “Will you tell me about it?”

  He had thought it would be difficult to share his memories with Jessica, but it wasn’t. As he began to tell her the sad story, Austin actually found comfort in the telling. It was almost like a confession of guilt and sin. By confessing the past, perhaps he could be made clean.

  “Houston and I both worked for the Secret Service. I had helped him to get the job, in fact. I had recently married.” He paused to see if she was shocked by this declaration. She didn’t appear to be at all.

  “We worked well as a team, but one night things went wrong just as we were on the verge of breaking a big case and arresting the perpetrators. Somehow the men became aware that the law was closing in, and they took up positions to fight.” The images were still clear in his memory.

  “I found myself in trouble—boxed into a corner, which, of course, was exactly what my adversary wanted. That left me no choice but to shoot my way out. Houston found me and helped subdue the attackers by adding his fire power. We had them pretty well beat, and when the last man took off running, we knew we’d won. We figured the other agents would easily take them in hand.”

  “And did they?”

  “All but one. One hid out in the darkness, in the brush. He jumped us as we made our way to join the others. I raised my gun to shoot him as he aimed his rifle at me. For whatever reason, Houston felt certain the man would kill me. He jumped in front of me and took the bullet.”

  “That was very heroic. He must have loved you a great deal. Did you get the other man, the man who shot him?”

  Shaking his head, Austin felt sick at the truth of the matter. Could he really tell her? He drew a deep breath. “The other man managed to slip away because I attended to Houston. He died in my arms. Killed by my bullet.”

  “Your bullet?”

  He gave a heavy sigh. “Yes, my bullet. I fired just as Houston jumped in front of me. The other man was out of ammunition. I learned that after one of the agents checked his discarded rifle. I’d killed my own brother for nothing.”

  Jessica shook her head vehemently. “Nonsense. It was a terrible accident and an act of supreme heroics by your brother.”

  “That’s what Grace—my wife—said. But my parents didn’t see it that way. My mother railed at me—blamed me and cursed me. She said it had been my responsibility to keep Houston safe, but instead I ended his life. She told me to leave and never return. My father felt the same way. It was just too painful for them.

  “Houston was engaged to be married, and I had to break the news to his fiancée. She blamed me, too. She pummeled me with her fists and hit me until she was weeping so hard she collapsed. Her father had the servants put her to bed, then told me it would be best if I didn’t come back.”

  “I’m sorry. They were wrong to treat you like that. You didn’t mean for him to die. They had to know that.”

  He shrugged. “I’d like to think they did. I decided to give them some time. This was the end of January, and Grace was due to have a baby the following month. I’d moved us out to the country the previous year. I felt she’d be safer there when I had to be away, which was often. I was wrong. I was in Washington, D.C., when she went into labor. There was no one with her, no one to help. The girl I’d hired to keep house and help Grace with the laundry and meals was sick and couldn’t come. If she’d been there, things might have gone differently, but I can’t blame her. That’d be no different from my parents blaming me for Houston’s death.”

  “What happened to Grace?” Jessica asked. She reached out as if she might take hold of his arm, but hesitated and then decided against it.

  “Something went terribly wrong, and she delivered a stillborn son by herself and then followed him in death. I found them there on the bed, the babe held close in her arms. I was beyond grief. I wanted to die and gave strong thought to ending my life. That was February.”

  “How awful,” Jessica said. “To lose two people—three really—in such a short time.”

  “By June both of my parents had passed away, as well.” Jessica gave a gasp, then covered her mouth with her hands as if embarrassed. Austin felt bad for having just blurted it out like that. “My father hadn’t been well for several years. We were never sure what the problem was, but the doctor was of a mind that he had a weakness in his heart. My father died in May of a heart attack. My mother died a month later from some type of consumption that wasted her away. The doctor said it was mostly likely that she had lost the will to live. That was something I could well understand.”

  “Had you reconciled before their deaths?”

  “No. They went to their graves hating me, blaming me.” Austin looked past Jessica to the line of trees. “That was probably the hardest truth I’ve ever had to face. My parents had taught me about forgiveness and love, but when I needed it most, it was denied me.” He hadn’t meant to add the latter and gave a nonchalant shrug. “After that I came west. I couldn’t bear to remain in Virginia. I needed a fresh start.”

  “I can imagine it was just too painful to stay.” Her words were offered in sincere understanding.

  Jessica reached out again, and this time she took hold of his arm. She gave a light squeeze and continued to hold on to him. “I’m so sorry that you had to go through such terrible loss. It’s no wonder you always have a certain sorrow in your eyes.”

  That she had noticed touched him deeply. Austin took hold of her hands. She shivered, much as he’d seen her do when Harrison Gable touched her. The tiny reaction made him happy.

  “The pain is less now.”

  She gazed into his eyes for a moment longer, then turned toward the trail, forcing Austin to release her hands. “We should probably head back,” she said, smiling. “I wouldn’t want Father to come looking for us.”

  “I agree,” Austin said and easily caught up to her. “I hope I didn’t offend you with my story.”

  “Of course not. I’m so glad you told me. As I said, I could tell you were a man of sorrows.” She glanced up at him and smiled. “Perhaps that sadness can be laid to rest now. Perhaps in sharing the burden with another, you will find peace.”

  “The peace has come gradually,” he admitted. “I longed for many years to be able to go back and undo what had happened. I thought God didn’t care about me or my family, so I chose to ignore Him. Now I find He refuses to ignore me.”

  Jessica nodded knowingly. “He has done the same with me. You were there when I went forward.”

  “Yes, it was a very special moment.”

  “I hope you can have a moment of your own. God’s peace is so much better than anything anyone else could offer

  you.”

  Austin felt the urgency to tell her how he felt, but the words stuck in his throat. Instead, he stopped her from walking and turned her to face him once again. Reaching out, he gently ran his fingers along her jaw. This time he felt the trembling go through her. Her eyes were fixed on his face, and Austin could see she had feelings akin to his own. The intensity frightened him, although he would never have

  admitted it.

  Jessica was the fi
rst to look away. She pulled back and began to walk again. “Come,” she said, her voice hesitant and shaky. “Mother . . . uh . . . we have some cake.” She twisted her hands together but kept walking. “Yes . . . we have some cake. I think . . . you . . . you should have some.”

  He chuckled, feeling mighty pleased with himself over her reaction. “Cake?”

  She kept her gaze straight ahead, but Austin could see that her cheeks were bright red. “Yes. Cake.”

  Chapter 18

  Christmas was an occasion Austin hadn’t celebrated in over five years, but this Christmas Eve the Barnetts had insisted he join them. In fact, Mrs. Barnett had commanded him to plan on staying the night so he could share Christmas breakfast with them before going to church. After that the Athertons had arrived, and Austin found himself most uncomfortable. Jessica hardly looked his way, and he wondered if he’d caused more problems than good by having told her about the past.

  After supper he’d joined the family in the front sitting room. But like a coward, when the suggestion was given to play charades, he slipped down the hall to his temporary bedroom. Now he heard the family laughing and having boisterous conversations, and he’d never felt more alone.

  A light rap on the door immediately caused him to stand at attention. Tyler Atherton came in and smiled. “I thought I saw you head down this way. You’re missin’ out on the fun.” He dusted his shirt and laughed. “Guess I got some powdered sugar on me when I tried to sneak a cookie and Hannah caught me.”

  Austin stretched his arms over his head. “I’m pretty worn out. Figured I’d get to bed early.”

  The older man gave a lopsided smiled and raised a brow. “You wanna try again?”

  Austin looked at him in confusion. “What do you mean, sir?”

  “I mean you didn’t come back here because you were tired.”

  “Was it that evident?”

  Mr. Atherton chuckled and pulled up a chair. “Why don’t you sit and tell me what’s botherin’ you.”

  Austin reclaimed his chair and began to talk about the same things he’d told Jessica regarding his brother, parents, wife, and son. By the time he’d finished, Mr. Atherton was looking at him with an unreadable expression. Austin feared perhaps Atherton felt the same toward him that his parents had.