In the Heart of Forever (A Heart Story)

by Jo-Anna Walker

  I nodded. I cupped the back of her neck and kissed her forehead. The scent of soap and flowers invaded my nostrils, making my body stir.

  The feeling to protect Jesse overpowered me. It controlled me and when that kid said those nasty things about her, my temper took over. Possessing me with hatred. After she had pushed me off of him, the look on her face surprised me. She wasn’t scared of me or my anger. She was worried for me. I knew I needed to get control of myself but when it came to her, I was lost.

  Since being back, my brother, Ren taught me everything he knew about fighting and controlling your anger but I could only deal with so much before it took over my body.

  Jesse grabbed her stuff from the locker and I wrapped an arm around her waist. She looked up at me and smiled softly. I needed to touch her. I couldn’t help myself. She was like a drug and I needed my fix. I wanted to dive into her and stay there forever. She kept me sane. She protected me from myself and I loved her for it. If only she felt the same.

  She’d been hurt way too much in her young life but I would do everything in my power to make her see that we were together.

  I would prove that I did not kiss Melanie. She kissed me but Jesse wouldn’t let me explain what had happened. My stomach clenched at that thought. “Jesse.”

  She grabbed my hand. “Let’s go to class.”

  I nodded and followed her into Mr. Deel’s History class. I sat behind her instead of beside her like I usually did.

  She turned to me, her eyebrow raised.

  “I don’t want Melanie sitting behind you.”

  She breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”

  I smiled as she turned back around. Her brown hair was pulled back into a messy bun and she wore tight jeans that begged me to stare at her ass. She used to dress in clothes that were unflattering to her but since meeting me, she opened up and changed her style slowly. She also wore band t-shirts and that made my heart flutter. A girl who liked the same music that I did, was definitely the one. The one. I was only eighteen. I couldn’t think about that yet. What was wrong with me?

  A moment later, a folded up piece of paper landed on my desk. I opened it, my eyes flying across the page and I had to stifle a laugh.

  Stop staring at me.

  Jesse xx

  I grabbed my pen and wrote something underneath her note and handed it back to her.

  She opened it and gasped, the back of her neck turning pink. She slowly turned to me, her brown eyes dark with desire.

  I smirked and motioned for her to turn around as Mr. Deel walked in.

  The Triple M’s filed into the classroom and paused when they saw me sitting behind Jesse.

  “Girls. Take your seats,” Mr. Deel told them.

  They walked by us and headed to the back of the room but not before I caught Melanie licking her lips suggestively at me. My skin crawled remembering her mouth on mine. But I wasn’t the guy she was making out with on the step. I didn’t know who Jesse saw but it definitely wasn’t me.

  ***

  I leaned against the locker and crossed my arms under my chest.

  “You don’t have to look like you’re going to kill everyone that walks by, Rave.”

  I turned to Jesse and sighed.

  She shook her head, her jaw clenching.

  I reached out and pinched her chin, gently stroked her full bottom lip. I leaned forward and moved to kiss her but she released her head from my grasp. She was still pissed at me. Even though nothing had happened with Melanie, she wouldn’t allow me to explain. I would probably act the same way if I thought I saw her kissing some guy. Actually, I would have gone after the guy but that was me. Jesse was different. She closed herself off whenever she got mad or upset and she wouldn’t talk about what was bothering her.

  I wrapped an arm around her shoulder as she closed her locker and kissed her head. She wasn’t going to fight me off forever. She would forgive me and I would make sure of it. “Come on, I’ll drive you home.”

  Her back stiffened. “I think I’ll walk.”

  “I don’t fucking think so.”

  Her body tensed and she glared up at me. “You can’t tell me what to do, Rave and you don’t have to keep protecting me. We’re not…” Together. She didn’t say it. She wanted to but she couldn’t because she knew it wasn’t true.

  I bit back a cheer and walked her to my car. She didn’t protest. Not having much choice in the matter. I wouldn’t let her walk home alone. What kind of guy would I be if I did that even if we weren’t together in her eyes?

  I opened the door for her and walked around to the driver side of my beauty. I had saved up for as long as I could remember to get this car and seeing Jesse sit in the passenger seat of it, made it that more gorgeous. She lit up the car and I don’t even think she realized it.

  I drove out of the school parking lot and took a deep breath, heading in the opposite direction of where she lived. She didn’t seem to notice so I kept on driving. I needed to get her alone. To talk to her. We had to work this shit out whether she liked it or not and she was going to hear what I had…

  “Rave.”

  Ah…yes, she noticed. I turned to her and her dark eyes were filled with fire when she realized that she wasn’t going home yet. You think she’d be happy about that since living with her asshole stepfather.

  I smiled. “We’re just going for a drive.”

  She huffed. “I know what you’re doing.”

  “Do you now?” She was hot when she mad and it made my body stir. A couple of minutes later, I pulled onto a deserted road that led to my favorite field surrounded by trees. It was beautiful, especially when the sun set.

  I put the car into park, got out of the vehicle and sat on the hood. Jesse didn’t join me. I could feel her heated glare bore into the back of my skull. She’d get out eventually and until then, I would wait.

  Chapter 22

  Jesse

  I wasn’t sure what the hell he thought he was doing but there was no way I was getting out of the car. I was antsy. I moved and shifted in the seat. On one hand, I wanted to join him. Talk to him about everything that had happened. Forgive him. But the hurt that I felt when seeing him kiss Melanie…I sighed.

  Frustration settled in and I finally decided to leave the car but I didn’t join Rave on the hood. I walked a couple of feet in front of him, spread my sweater on the ground and laid on it.

  I stared up at the late afternoon blue sky, the cool air washing over me. A warm front had settled in and surprisingly, you didn’t need to wear coats in February. The Valentine’s Day dance was the following weekend and everything at school was pink, red and everything to do with love. It was sickening.

  I closed my eyes, letting the sound of nature soar through me. The trees rustling in the wind, birds chirping…something warm pressed against my mouth and my body stirred. My eyes fluttered open.

  Rave lifted his head and looked down at me. “Hi.”

  My heart thumped hard against my chest. “Hi.”

  He ran a thumb over my lips, leaned down and kissed my forehead. “I’m so sorry, baby.”

  Tears welled in my eyes at the soft contact. “Rave.”

  He cupped my cheeks in both hands and kissed down my face to my lips. “Please kiss me.”

  I sighed and opened my lips, letting him in. Our tongues danced, massaging the other. I tilted my head, giving him better access. Kissing at that angle felt different. It was like something had shifted in our relationship. The kiss was needy. Desperate. All of our feelings came crashing into it. I was in love with him. I realized it at that very moment. The thing with Melanie…I wasn’t sure what I saw anymore.

  I curled my fingers behind Rave’s neck and deepened the kiss, igniting a deep groan from him.

  He released my mouth and kissed along my jaw down to my neck, our breathing picking up. He ran his hands over my belly, his fingers grazing up under my shirt. The cool air mixed with the heat from my body, sent shivers over my skin. It was electrifying
. I turned my head and he smiled down at me. His beautiful jade eyes filled with heated affection. He rubbed a thumb over my lips, kissing the corner of my mouth. “I didn’t kiss Melanie.”

  My stomach cringed, remembering what I had seen. I sat up, pulled my shirt down and fixed my hair. “I know what I saw Rave.”

  “I don’t care. I’m telling you that it wasn’t me she was kissing.” He wrapped his arms around, pulling me against his chest. “Why don’t you believe me?”

  “I—”

  “I wouldn’t kiss anyone else willingly except for you, Jesse.”

  “But she came on to you.” I couldn’t help the burning sensation that flew through my stomach. I couldn’t stand the idea of someone else’s hands being on him. It may have been petty of me but it ate at me.

  “Melanie comes onto everyone.”

  “Did she kiss you?”

  Rave tensed behind me but didn’t answer.

  I sat up. “Did she kiss you?” I asked again.

  His eyes searched my face and then looked away. “Yes.”

  My heart pounded in my ears as jealousy rolled through me. “Did you kiss her back?”

  “Baby, I—”

  “Don’t baby me. Tell me, did you kiss her back, Rave?” We sat there, staring at each other for what felt like ages and when Rave didn’t respond, I rose to my feet. “Take me home.”

  “Jesse.” Rave grabbed my shoulder but I shrugged out of his hold and pushed him.

  “Don’t touch me. Just take me home.” I opened the car door when a hand slapped it closed. I spun on Rave and pushed him again but he didn’t budge. “Did you like kissing her?”

  His eyes widened. “What?”

  I shoved a finger against his chest, forcing him to take a step back. “Did you like kissing her?”

  He grabbed my hands and pushed me up against the car. Lifting me onto the hood, he wrapped my legs around his waist and leaned into me. “No. I didn’t like kissing her.”

  I squeezed my thighs around him and ran my hands up under his shirt over his soft skin. “No? Then why did you kiss her back?”

  He gripped my hips and covered my mouth with his, shoving his tongue roughly in between my lips. He rocked against me as I pulled him closer. “I didn’t mean to kiss her back but I’m a guy. I was taken off guard.” He kissed my jaw and gently nibbled my chin.

  I looked up at him. “Don’t kiss her again.”

  “I don’t plan on it.” His hands roamed under my shirt, massaging and kneading as they went. He pulled away and let me down.

  “Rave?”

  He took a breath and shoved a hand through his hair. “We should go.”

  I huffed. “Fine.”

  Rave moved around to the driver side of the car. My skin buzzed as I entered in the passenger side.

  He looked down at me as I straddled his lap. “What are you doing?”

  I grabbed his face with both hands and placed a hard kiss on his lips. “Make love to me.”

  His head snapped back. “What? Right here?”

  I nodded, undoing his belt before he could protest. “There’s no one around. Please.”

  His lips parted, his breathing picking up as I reached into his jeans. “You’re gonna be the death of me, baby.”

  “Is that a yes?” I asked, wrapping my hand around him.

  Rave’s breath caught and grabbed my jeans with both hands. He pulled roughly, ripping them open making the button fly off.

  I moved off of him, shimmied out of my jeans and panties and crawled back onto his lap. His lips parted as I covered his mouth with mine. He cupped the back of my neck and I gasped as he inserted a finger into my center making me buck against him. The undeniable amount of pleasure that coursed through my body was intense and powerful as our mouths moved as one.

  A burst of ecstasy flew through my body as an explosion rocked my soul.

  He released my mouth and kissed my nose, a smug grin of satisfaction on his handsome face.

  My chest rose and fell as my muscles twitched and jumped from pure wonderful euphoria.

  He pulled his wallet out of his pocket and grabbed a condom. I watched as he sheathed himself and rose to my knees.

  “Kiss me.”

  He smirked and licked into my mouth at the same time he entered me in one smooth thrust. I gasped at the full feeling of him inside of me and held onto him as he made love to me inside his car. I didn’t care where we had sex. Sometimes, you just had to go with the flow. I read a lot and knew that that’s what happened in some of the romance books I had read. It was perfect for us.

  “God you feel good, Jesse.” Rave’s hips sped up, igniting a yearning in both of us. I could feel him tense around me, like he was holding back. Maybe he thought he would hurt me. In time, I had hoped he wouldn’t worry. I wasn’t glass. I wouldn’t break but I appreciated and loved that about him. Love.

  A fast unexpected explosion of pleasurable bliss erupted in my groin and I screamed his name as the ecstasy shattered my bones.

  He grunted and thrust one last time, before shaking around me. He stopped moving and rained kisses on my face, neck and jaw. “Are you okay?”

  I nodded, reveling in the feel of him still inside me.

  “Good.” Rave kissed me one last time and released me, placing me in the passenger seat.

  I got dressed and sighed happily. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end and I looked up at him. “What?”

  He grabbed the back of my neck, placing a hard kiss on my lips. “You’re so beautiful.”

  My cheeks heated as he deepened the kiss for just a moment before placing a light peck on my forehead.

  “And you have a glow.”

  “I do?”

  He chuckled and walked around to the driver side door. “Yes, a post orgasmic glow.”

  I rolled my eyes and giggled, sliding into the car.

  He grabbed my hand and kissed my knuckles and pulled out of the field. We drove home in happy silence but as soon as I saw Allan’s house coming into view, my stomach twisted. I didn’t want to be there.

  “Jesse?”

  I turned to Rave. His cheeks were flushed and his lips were a little swollen from our kisses and I wouldn’t have changed it for the world.

  “Are we good?” His brow wrinkled as he bit his lip.

  I smiled and cupped his cheek. “Yes, we are.”

  ***

  I said goodbye to Rave and headed up the sidewalk to Allan’s house. His car wasn’t in the driveway so I had at least a little bit before he got home. Thank God.

  I took a shower, the hot water soothing my aching muscles. My cheeks heated remembering why they were sore. I finished up and wrapped myself in a towel, before heading into my room. I closed the door and turned when I was attacked from behind.

  Hot breath scorched my ear and the scent of liquor invaded my nostrils, making me gag. Allan was home. No, he wasn’t supposed to be.

  A big body pressed into my back, pushing me up against the door. My vision blurred and warning bells erupted in my brain.

  Rough callused hands roamed up my body under my towel, kneading and squeezing their way over my skin. I squirmed and fought against my attacker’s hold, but it didn’t do anything. “Stop fighting it,” Allan growled in my ear.

  Bile rose in my throat. Oh God. No. Please no.

  “I know you want it. You’re such a little tease, aren’t you? You’ve been dressing sexier since meeting that boy. Maybe it’s a good thing you haven’t listened to me and are still hanging out with him.”

  “I’m not.” I choked on a sob and squeezed my eyes shut.

  “Don’t lie to me. I saw his car pull away as I drove down the street.” Allan pressed into me.

  Tears rolled down my cheeks and my skin pricked with terror. “Please. Don’t…” My voice cracked.

  He didn’t listen. He didn’t stop. Hands violated my body. A body that was meant for Rave only. Oh God, Rave wouldn’t want me after this.

  I pushed agai
nst the door, trying to fight Allan off of me. My brain buzzed with intense fear. Knowing I couldn’t do anything to stop him. I tried. Oh God did I try. I stomped on his feet with mine, I pushed into him, wiggled and fought against his touch…but that seemed to make him want it more.

  I never thought this would happen. Even after all the times he hit me, I didn’t think he was this evil. But I was wrong. Ferocious pain erupted inside of me, making me dizzy.

  Squeezing my eyes closed, I shut down. At that moment, walls of hatred went up around me, protecting my emotions. I never thought I could hate someone so much but as he took advantage of me, I promised myself I would never trust another human being again. No one would ever get near my heart, body or soul.

  The one thing I had given to Rave and only him was now taken from me. I no longer had that freedom as my own choices were ripped from me. Shattering me from within.

  Chapter 23

  Rave

  The next morning, I skipped homeroom to run some errands. “Does this one have good acoustics?” I asked the guy at the Music Shop.

  “Yes.” He proceeded to tell me everything about the guitar but it went in one ear and out the other.

  “My girlfriend is the guitar player. Not me. Will she like this?” I asked, pointing to the instrument.

  The older man smiled at me. “Yes. This is one of our best. Has she been playing for a while?”

  “Long enough but kind of fell out of it.”

  “Perfect. She’ll love this one then and it’ll help her get out of the rut she’s in.”

  He rang me up and put the guitar in its case. Jesse was going to love it and I couldn’t wait to give it to her.

  Stopping off at a flower shop before heading to school, I picked up a yellow tulip. Just one. That’s all that was needed.

  I pulled into the parking lot and grabbed Jesse’s presents, bringing them into the school with me.

  I walked down the hall to where her locker was, my heart skipping a beat when I saw her. I stepped up behind her and kissed her neck.

  She jumped and spun on me. She clutched her throat, her eyes bulging.