Heart and Seoul (The Seoul Series Book 1)

by Erin Kinsella

  She hiccupped and lifted her tear-streaked face. “Please don’t send me away.”

  “I won’t.” Eun Gi squeezed her tightly. “We’ll get this all sorted, okay?”

  “Okay.” Chun Hei sniffled.

  Eun Gi showed her to the bathroom so she could wash up, then he joined Tessa and Seo Yun, pulling out a seat that he dropped into like a stone. His wife slipped her hand into his, lacing their fingers together.

  The ramyeon had gone cold.

  “I’d like to pursue guardianship.”

  Seo Yun nodded, turning to Tessa.

  “If Eun Gi wants to, then I’m absolutely supportive.”

  “Where would you be living?” Seo Yun asked.

  “That’s up in the air,” Eun Gi said. “Truthfully, everything is going to be. The false charges cost me both of my jobs, and our home.”

  “But,” Tessa added, “we have a network of friends in Seoul that would help if we moved back there, and I have more than enough money to cover any expenses until Eun Gi gets established again.”

  Seo Yun scribbled down her notes. “What about moving to Busan so Chun Hei has some consistency with friends and schooling? Chun Hei will still have access to the apartment once they’ve swept it for evidence.”

  Eun Gi cringed. Busan was the last place he wanted to be, but he nodded anyway. “If that’s what you think would be best.”

  Chun Hei emerged from the bathroom and sat on the last free chair.

  “Where would you prefer to live?” Seo Yun asked her.

  Chun Hei shrugged.

  “I think Busan would be best,” Seo Yun said. “Until a verdict is reached, staying in a familiar place would offer the most stability.”

  They discussed options, though there were few, and by the time afternoon rolled around they more or less had a plan.

  Seo Yun nodded. “I’ll need to do a home visit and check ins to be sure this is working out to Chun Hei’s benefit, but I’m willing to let this be attempted.”

  After dinner that night Eun Gi sat with his sister while Tessa went to work in her room to give them some time together.

  “Chun Hei,” he began, “if you didn’t know about what they’d done to me, does that mean they never did anything to you?”

  Curiosity warred with dread as her face shifted. She wrung her hands.

  “Not like they did to you, I don’t think anyway. When we moved into the apartment after you’d started sending even more money, then Eomma got a little better. She’d go out all the time and mostly ignored me. She— One time she left me in the car when she went shopping. I almost died.”

  “What?” Eun Gi snapped to attention.

  “It was summer. She said she wouldn’t be long, but she ran into a friend and didn’t come back for so long. The child locks were on, and I couldn’t open the doors. Someone broke the window to get me out. Eomma cried and begged them not to phone the police. They didn’t. She used to forget me a lot. They’d go away for days, and I wouldn’t find out until I got home from school, and they weren’t there.”

  “How old were you?”

  “I was six with the car, but they’ve been going away since your first big cheque, so I guess I was about nine? I got good at doing things on my own. I’d come home expecting them to be gone. That made it easier.” Chun Hei tucked her knees up, wrapping her arms around them. “Eomma is mean when she’s around. She picks at me all the time. My hair, my skin, my clothes. She’s never happy. I started hating myself as much as I hated her.”

  “You’re perfect as you are.” Eun Gi draped a tentative arm around her and she leaned against him. “I should have helped you. I should’ve checked in to make sure you were okay. Can you ever forgive me?”

  “Maybe.” She rubbed her hands over misty eyes. “I hope so. I don’t want to hate you. I didn’t know what to think when you never came around. You were always so weird when you came to visit, and I never knew why.”

  Guilt struck him. He hadn’t expected forgiveness so soon, or at all, but the answer still stung.

  Chun Hei sighed and scraped her fingers through her hair. “Oppa, what do I do? I don’t know you.”

  He let out an exasperated laugh. “Well, that makes two of us.”

  “Was it Eomma and Appa you didn’t want to see? Or did you want to avoid me too?”

  The words lodged in his throat, and he sipped at his water to loosen the knot in his chest. “Truthfully, once Eomeoni got under my skin, I hardly noticed you or Abeoji. All I wanted was to get away, and I did my best to not think about any of you because it made me miserable. It’s not an excuse, just an explanation.”

  She stared at him, eyes wide, waiting.

  “When I first left, it was easy to not think about home. None of us got to see our families for years, but then there were breaks in our schedules, and every time I came back here I’d have my head shoved so far up my own ass trying not to have a breakdown that I hardly let myself have a second to consider that you might be in the same situation. I’m so sorry I wasn’t the brother you deserved.”

  He’d never seen any bruises when he’d come to visit, and she’d always been snarky with a serious attitude. He should have talked to her, gotten over his own issues long enough to make sure she was safe beyond a cursory glance. She’d been so young when he left, still a toddler when he’d fled for Seoul at thirteen, and he’d been home so infrequently since.

  “Oppa, you’re looking at me really weird.”

  “It’s the guilt,” he said, giving a small, chagrined smile.

  “You don’t have to take me if you don’t want to.”

  “Chun Hei, of course I want you. We’re family. I’ve been absolute shit in that regard, but I’ll do better.” He took her hand in his. “I promise.”

  Eun Gi settled into bed for the night after setting Chun Hei up in her own room. Tessa nestled next to him, and he tucked himself against her.

  “I have no idea what to do for a job now. I’ll have to figure out a sustainable way to support us all, unless they give Chun Hei and I access to the accounts where my parents hoarded my money.”

  “Hmm, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m not exactly destitute. I could certainly help with any expenses that show up.”

  His eyes widened in the dark. “I can’t ask you to do that.”

  “You’re not asking.” Tessa cradled his cheeks. “Chun Hei is my sister-in-law, and she needs us. I have absolutely no issue helping out. We’re all family, and family is important to me. We can find a new place to live, she can go to school, and we can be here for her.”

  “You wouldn’t mind moving to Busan?”

  “I want to be wherever you are. Whether that’s Busan or Seoul or anywhere else. I’d suggest moving to Canada because my parents would adore both of you, but all our best friends are here.” She kissed him, sweet and slow. “We have each other, and we can handle this. I have every faith. Take some time and figure out what you’d like to do. I promise there’s no need to rush. You’re so talented, and even with the hiccups I’m sure you could become a producer or whatever you want. We’ll find what’s best for everyone.”

  He nodded and squeezed her tightly. “For the first time in my life I’m properly grateful that the media is so intrusive. I’d never have gotten the best wife in the world without them.”

  Tessa giggled helplessly and squeezed him back. “What did you plan on doing when you retired from performing?”

  “I was considering choreography. I wouldn’t mind teaching some of the new generation.”

  Her face lit up. “You’d be amazing at that!”

  A small knock had them both sitting up.

  “Chun Hei?” Eun Gi called.

  The door cracked open, and Chun Hei shuffled inside. “Can I sit with you for a bit?”

  Eun Gi patted the space between them, both sliding over to make room.

  “Are you okay?” Tessa asked.

  Chun Hei shrugged and settled in. “I guess. I mean, I miss them,
but I also don’t. Am I a bad person?”

  “Not at all. It’s normal to feel conflicted. Your parents weren’t good people, but they were still your parents.”

  Chun Hei curled onto her side and nestled into her pillow facing Tessa. “They suck, but if they get convicted, they won’t see me graduate or get my license. Maybe I’ll get married young, and they won’t be around to see it. They’re awful, and I’m so mad that they’re going to miss everything. Maybe this is my punishment for waiting so long to come forward.”

  “I don’t think that’s true,” said Eun Gi. “Why did you come forward?”

  “I saw Tessa’s video.”

  Eun Gi perked up. “Video?”

  “I may have been a little upset after they told me not to visit,” Tessa confessed. “I didn’t intend to get quite so emotional, but it all just came out.”

  “She cried,” said Chun Hei, rolling over to face Eun Gi. “I felt really bad. My friends and I watched it on our lunch break, and I went to the police after school that same day. I was afraid of what Eomma and Appa might do to me if they found out, but you didn’t deserve what Eomma had done to you.”

  “What evidence did you have to give them?” Eun Gi asked. “They wouldn’t release me on your testimony alone.”

  “It was an app.” Chun Hei pursed her lips. “I’ve had it on my phone for ages. If you’re ever in danger it’ll start recording once you trigger it. I turned it on when Eomma went after you, and I kept it going. Eomma told Appa to hit her, that it didn’t matter if you were ruined because they had enough money. I think Appa kind of liked it.” Chun Hei shuddered. “Eomma was black and blue by morning and went down to the police station. I didn’t understand what her plan was until I heard my friends talking about the news after you were arrested.”

  “What the fuck,” Tessa murmured.

  “Thank you.” Eun Gi reached out to his sister. “I’ve done nothing to deserve your sacrifice, but I promise I’ll do my best for you. We’re going to do whatever we can to be there.”

  “I’m going to be in the way.” She curled into herself.

  “You won’t be. You’ll be part of the family,” Tessa assured.

  “Plus you’ll have Sung Soo, Hwan, and Min Jae, and the others when they’re back. Tessa’s best friend, Kelly, and her husband, too,” said Eun Gi. “If we move back to Seoul, you’ll have more family than you know what to do with.”

  “I don’t belong in Seoul. I don’t belong anywhere anymore.”

  “You belong with us,” Tessa insisted. “We’re sisters now, and I’ve always wanted a sister.”

  “Really?”

  “Really.”

  Chun Hei tucked into Tessa’s arms, sniffling quietly until her breathing finally evened out and she fell asleep.

  Eun Gi looked at Tessa over his sleeping sister. “So, tell me more about the video?”

  “I don’t think I’ve ever been quite so angry before,” she said softly. “It was selfish and indulgent to pour out my feelings online, but I needed to say it. I wanted to be with you, and I couldn’t. I’ve tried so hard to be patient, and I just couldn’t be anymore. It got ten million views. I never expected it would take off like it did. I wasn’t even thinking straight when I went live.”

  “I’m glad you were selfish. It ended up getting me free.” He took Tessa’s hand in his, lacing their fingers together. “I’m sorry you were hurting so much”

  “That’s not your fault.”

  “Still. Be selfish more often. You deserve it.”

  She bit her lip. “Can I be selfish right now?”

  “Of course.”

  “I want my parents to come to Korea. I know that idea freaks you out, but I miss them, and they’ll love you.”

  “It freaks me out a lot less than it used to. I don’t think I have enough energy left to panic. Let’s plan it. I’ll meet them, and if they’re anything like you, I’m sure I’ll love them.”

  “Yeah?”

  “I want you to be happy, and having your parents around will do that.”

  “You’re so sweet. I’ll tell them tomorrow. We can plan for a visit after we get settled.” She stroked her thumb over his hand. “I love you.”

  “I love you too.”

  Tessa woke up sandwiched and sweating the next morning. Chun Hei had rolled over her sometime in the night, and she was trapped between the Baek siblings. She tried to wiggle free, but Eun Gi and Chun Hei snuggled in tighter. If she didn’t have to pee rather desperately, she might have basked over how precious the two of them were, but her bladder allowed no such sentimentality.

  She inched down the bed until she could melt off the end and dashed to the bathroom. Relieved, she returned to check on the sleeping beauties. Asleep, and without a perpetual frown, Chun Hei resembled her brother a fair bit. They had the same soft cheeks, strong brow and defined jaw. Their parents might be monsters, but they had damn good genes.

  Tessa leaned over Eun Gi and kissed his cheek. “Good morning, my love.”

  Her insides got all squishy as a little smile spread over his lips before he blinked awake. “Good morning.”

  He tugged her down for another kiss.

  “Gross.”

  They looked over at a sleepy-eyed Chun Hei.

  “Good morning to you too.” Tessa snared her into a hug and while Chun Hei wriggled away, there was no mistaking the contentment on her face when she slid off the bed.

  Chapter 24

  Eun Gi

  Eun Gi was wide awake, sitting in the kitchen, when Tessa flicked on the bedroom lamp, illuminating the darkness. He’d given up halfway through the night and made himself some coffee. It was only their first night in his parents’ Busan apartment, but he could hardly imagine staying here. If it was what Chun Hei needed, then he would find a way to manage it, but he was already eyeballing apartments to rent so he could get away from his parents’ space. His mother’s perfume clung to everything, mixed with the cigarettes his father chain-smoked. No matter where he looked he was reminded of them.

  “What’re you doing up?” She sat down on the edge of the table.

  “I couldn’t sleep.” He nudged a piece of paper towards her. “I wrote a song.”

  “A song?” Her eyes flickered over the scrawled Hangul. “Eun Gi, this is beautiful. Are you going to record it?”

  His heart swelled. “Maybe. It’s not like I have anywhere to record anymore, but I miss music.”

  “What if we record it here and release it to the public? Kelly is coming tomorrow. I could ask her to bring some of her equipment.”

  “You think I should? What if everyone hates it?”

  “I think people would love it.” She settled onto the chair next to him. “If you want to try to pursue music on your own, I’ll support you one hundred percent. There’s no reason for you to lose it just because you’re not part of the group anymore.”

  His voice caught in his throat. “I miss them.”

  “I know.” She wrapped her arms around him, and he allowed her to cradle him. “We’ll plan a visit to Seoul, and they’re coming to Busan as soon as they can.”

  It wasn’t the same. Visiting his friends could never compare with the ease they’d always had living on top of one another, working together, spending so much time in one another’s company. He was trying so hard to reconcile the fact that he was no longer a part of their world, but it still didn’t seem real.

  “We’ll go when Chun Hei is done with school. Maybe we can spend the summer.”

  “That sounds perfect.” Tessa traced soft fingertips over his cheek. “Do you need anything besides the microphone and filming equipment for the song?”

  He glanced over to the grand piano that sat in the corner. As far as he knew none of his family could even play it. “I don’t think so. I’ll use the piano. I thought I’d figure out the full tune tomorrow.”

  Tessa made a small squeak of delight.

  “What?” Her blush was so charming he tugged her closer and kis
sed each flaming cheek. “Tell me.”

  “Sorry. I’m having a moment over being the first to hear one of your songs.” She laughed. “I’m forewarning you now I will probably cry.”

  He pulled her onto his lap and indulged in the taste of her mouth until she shivered in his hands, her fingers curling into his pajama top.

  “If you’re interested,” he said, “we could burn off some of the energy keeping me awake.”

  She giggled against his mouth. “Come to bed. I’ll tire you out.”

  Tessa

  Tessa stood on the other side of the camera with Kelly, vibrating with nervous energy as she waited for Eun Gi to begin. Her bestie had arrived that morning with the supplies they needed in tow. Eun Gi plunked away at the piano keys and then nodded to Kelly. She pressed record.

  Mournful notes filled the apartment, a smooth, flowing melody before his voice joined in. Tessa squeezed Kelly’s arm, utter joy rendering her wide-eyed and speechless watching him sing.

  “Lost in the mist, climbing out of the darkness. I’m finding my way back home.” The song moved through a delicate cadence of melancholy and despair, into a final hopeful crest. “I don’t know where I belong, but I’m making my way. I’m finding the light once more.”

  The soft Korean words faded into silence with the last note and Kelly turned off the recording. Tessa leapt across the room, tears streaking down her face, and pulled him into a hug.

  Kelly crouched behind the camera and played back the piece, glancing up at Eun Gi. “Do you want any edits, or do you want to upload the raw footage?”

  “The raw was gorgeous,” Tessa said.

  “Raw it is.” Eun Gi smiled and looped his arm around his wife’s waist.

  Kelly started the upload to her computer. “Alright, let’s get you in front of people.”

  “Are you nervous?” Tessa draped her arms over his shoulders.

  “Mildly petrified. What if everyone hates it?”

  “People will love it.” Kelly grinned. “I’m not your wife so I’m not obligated to love it, but I still do. In a few minutes you’ll be in front of my seven hundred thousand subs. I have your new channel linked in the description so you can start growing your own social media.”