Heart and Seoul (The Seoul Series Book 1)

by Erin Kinsella

  She paused and hugged herself, rubbing away the goose bumps prickling her skin.

  “If you’re one of the people encamped outside of the centre, please go home. I know you want to be there for him, or get a story, or whatever, but I don’t deserve to be harassed for going to see my husband. The people visiting their families should feel safe, and they don’t. This is the only statement I’m willing to make, so if you’re part of the press, I’m telling you now that I won’t speak with you. Please let us be while we figure things out.”

  Tears slipped over her cheeks. She stared up at the ceiling, willing them away, but gave up and wiped at them with her sleeve.

  “There are people who won’t believe me, but I’m not saying this for them. Baek Eun Gi is a good person. Please keep showing him your support, and please be patient with me during this time. I’m doing the best I can.

  “I want to be okay—” her voice broke, “—but I’m not. I’m trying—I’m trying so hard to keep going. My husband is locked away for a crime he didn’t commit. I have no way to prove it, and I’m so afraid I’m going to lose him.”

  She pressed her hand to her mouth to hide the quivering of her lips. Tears blurred her vision. Comments poured in too quickly for her to read. She ended the feed and buried her face in her hands before the sobs overwhelmed her. Her phone rang, first Kelly, then Sung Soo, and when she failed to answer those calls, more from Min Jae and Hwan came in right after. Her parents would be asleep, but come morning she expected they would be calling as well. She sent a text to all of them.

  Tessa:

  I’m ok.

  She wasn’t, but it was all the assurance she could give them right now. Tessa curled up on the couch and let her tears drag her into exhaustion and sleep.

  Eun Gi

  I’m going to die in here.

  Eun Gi stared at the blank walls of his cell. Sleep had eluded him to the point where he saw figures moving in the shadows, hallucinations tricking his eyes. His stomach roiled, and his anxiety kept his heart racing. His nights, when he did manage to fall asleep, were plagued by nightmares. He hadn’t seen Tessa for days. His time was long hours of nothing, interrupted by meals. None of the other people in custody tried to talk to him. Minutes marched by with agonizing slowness, prolonging his isolation. Headaches had become a constant companion. He let out a helpless sound, resting against the wall as he tried to reconcile this as his future. Every time he blinked he fell into a doze, too exhausted to process anything properly. His knee bounced a steady rhythm, burning off what little energy he had.

  Sleep. Please.

  He closed his eyes and curled onto his mat. The craving for the warmth of another human body had him itching for contact. He was the only one in his cell, and although he wasn’t in solitary, the idea of approaching a complete stranger for comfort was unimaginable to him. All his thoughts turned toward Tessa, summoning the memory of her touch, the way she would soothe him and hold him close. Eun Gi woke in tears with the sun at the same spot in the sky. His head throbbed viciously.

  It had only been two weeks, and the prospect of surviving years of this seemed unfathomable.

  The bolt on the door slid open.

  “Baek Eun Gi, come with me. Bring your effects.” A guard stood, arms crossed, in the doorway.

  Eun Gi moved in a haze. Maybe they were putting him in a new cell? He picked up the few items the centre had provided—blanket, toothbrush, extra uniform—and followed the guard. He was led to an empty room and sat at a table with a glass of water. A man in a suit came in, and Eun Gi stared at him for a long moment before his brain connected the face with the identity.

  “Baek Eun Gi, I have news.” His lawyer sat down across from him.

  “News?” The word was thick on Eun Gi’s tongue, and he struggled to focus.

  “You’re being released. The police captain is filling out the paperwork now.”

  His mind absorbed the information, but no matter how he thought of it, it didn’t make sense.

  A man in a police uniform stepped into the room. “Baek Eun Gi, I am Police Captain Kim.”

  Eun Gi bowed his head sharply.

  “There have been complications with your case.”

  “Complications?”

  The captain turned to the guard. “Please bring them in.”

  Frozen, Eun Gi held his breath as his sister walked in, accompanied by a middle-aged woman in a grey skirt suit.

  Tears coated Chun Hei’s cheeks as she slammed against his chest. Eun Gi’s arms locked around her, and he turned to the captain, not comprehending what was happening.

  “Baek Chun Hei went to the Busan police with evidence on your behalf. I’ve reviewed it myself and that, in addition to her testimony, clears you of wrongdoing. I have the authority to release you. That being said, we do request that you don’t leave the country and are accessible during the continuing investigation.”

  Eun Gi stared down at his sister. She cried into his shirt, fingers latched on to the fabric. Unsure what else to do, he simply held her, mind churning.

  “The complication is that I’m released?”

  His first thought was that he would get to go back to Seoul, but then he remembered EchoPop had cancelled his contract, and he had no home or job to go back to.

  “Your parents have both been arrested,” the captain clarified. “They’re currently in custody in Busan.”

  “My— What?” Eun Gi’s heart slammed against his ribs. Questions bounced through his head, but the words froze on his tongue.

  “There are multiple charges and the investigation is still ongoing. Unfortunately, this leaves Baek Chun Hei without a legal guardian.”

  Eun Gi’s thoughts stuttered. He opened his mouth to ask what the charges were, but was immediately interrupted by the woman who’d entered with Chun Hei.

  “That’s where I come in. My name is Kim Seo Yun. I’m the social worker assigned to this case file. Your sister has requested to be placed with you as her first choice before seeking out other family members or foster homes.”

  Chun Hei pulled back and watched her brother. Her lip wobbled. He’d never seen her like this before, but that could also be because he could count on one hand the number of times he’d seen her over the last decade.

  “For now,” Seo Yun continued, “we only require you to agree to temporary custody until such a time as your parents are convicted or cleared. At that point you would either be relieved of guardianship or we would discuss you becoming a permanent legal guardian until Baek Chun Hei reaches the age of majority. Are you interested in providing temporary guardianship?”

  His thoughts blurred and melted, exhaustion bolstering his growing confusion. “I…I’m… This is a lot right now.”

  Chun Hei went rigid, and she snapped a tearful gaze to the floor. Her arms fell to her sides.

  Guilt leaked past the exhausted haze, but was quickly snuffed out as his mind lost focus again. The desire for sleep was so intense he could scarcely remain standing.

  Eun Gi knelt next to his sister. “I’m sorry I can’t answer yet. This is a decision I have to make with Tessa.”

  “Let me come for the night. I promise I’ll be good.” She bit her lip. “Please. I’ll be nice to her this time.”

  Eun Gi’s lawyer stepped up. “I think perhaps that aspect can be dealt with tomorrow. Kim Seo Yun-ssi, why don’t you keep your charge for the night? Let’s give him more than five minutes before he has to make a decision of this magnitude. I’ll get my client situated, and we can address this at a more opportune time.”

  Seo Yun frowned. “That’s not fair to my charge.”

  “And your insistence isn’t fair to mine,” the lawyer countered. “He needs to rest, and his wife needs to be informed before anything can be decided.”

  Seo Yun eventually nodded. She acquired an address from the lawyer and turned to Eun Gi. “We’ll be by at nine tomorrow.”

  Time slowed and warped as Eun Gi moved through a daze. He cringed as he
got dressed. His clothing was disgusting from his night spent on the beach and being stored in plastic for two weeks. His stomach churned when he tugged on his shirt. He returned everything he’d used during his stay, grateful to be rid of it. His phone battery was still dead, so he shoved it into his pocket before allowing his lawyer to guide him out to the vehicle.

  Dread slowed his step the entire walk through the facility and into the parking lot where a car waited. He was convinced a mistake had been made, that someone would come screaming out of the building and put him back in that cell.

  Breathing came a little easier as the Taehwa River appeared out the window. Somehow crossing the water made him feel safer. His phone beeped, charging en route. So many calls and emails waited for him, but one in particular caught his eye. Elite Studios had emailed a contract cancellation. His heart dropped to his toes. Eun Gi groaned as his last hope disintegrated.

  He was free now, but his career had been demolished. Emptiness stretched out before him. What was left for him?

  The car pulled to a stop outside a building he didn’t recognize. His lawyer beeped the horn and a face appeared in the window nearest the door. Tessa blazed outside before he made it to the front steps.

  The warmth and weight of her was an anchor. Her voice blurred in his ear, but the familiarity leaked through. The sweet, floral scent from her shampoo invaded his nose, and he buried his face in her hair, clinging desperately.

  Home.

  Once inside, his legs turned to jelly, and he sank to the floor in the hallway. Tessa slid down next to him and settled his head in her lap. He had no music career, no acting career, no money, no home, and his reputation was in shambles.

  Tessa stroked his hair and spoke softly, but the words were lost to his churning mind. She offered food, and a shower, but what he wanted most was to sleep. Stripped naked, he climbed into bed and tucked himself around his wife. He fell asleep like that, entering an exhausted, dreamless sleep, making it through the night for the first time in two long weeks.

  Chapter 23

  Eun Gi

  Tessa’s warm weight pressed Eun Gi into the mattress. She slept peacefully against him, breath smooth and gentle, fingers curled into his hair. He drew swirls over her back, memorizing the dips and curves of her body. The sun wasn’t quite over the horizon, draping the room in a pearlescent glow.

  Untethered, his mind ping-ponged between all the things he had lost, and the few bleak possibilities that might await him. There was so much he and Tessa had to talk about, but he was reluctant to disturb the stillness of the early hours. He turned his face into Tessa’s hair, inhaling the sweetness of her shampoo, shoving back the worry that daylight would come and she would be taken away from him too.

  Tessa stirred, blinking away the sleep-glaze from her eyes. When she recognized him a second later, she squeezed him tightly.

  “I thought I’d dreamed that you came home.”

  His arms tucked around her. “I’m here.”

  A shuddering breath betrayed the sudden swell of emotions within him. He blinked back the burn in his eyes, overwhelmed.

  “I don’t want you to go,” he whispered.

  “I won’t.”

  She clung tighter, resting her forehead on his temple.

  “I don’t know what to do. Everything you signed up to protect is gone, and I’m afraid I’m going to lose what I have left. Nobody wants me anymore.”

  “I want you.” Her lips were soft against his. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  She led him to the shower where she scrubbed his hair clean and soaped his body with a tenderness he’d grown unaccustomed to. He melted under the attention. The ragged, fragile state of his whole being was soothed by her presence.

  Reality felt surreal. An unfamiliar house in an unfamiliar city, and now that he was free he was devoid of purpose. The pressures that had driven him daily for more than a decade were gone.

  They moved to the kitchen after dressing him in the most comfortable clothing left in his suitcase. A cup of tea sat between his hands, elbows resting on the table.

  He whispered her name, half hoping she wouldn’t hear it.

  “Hmm?” She turned from the stove where she was stirring their ramyeon.

  He waited until she’d brought the pot to the table before completing his thought. “I wanted to tell you at the centre, but you told me to wait until I was free.” His gaze dropped to his food. “I have nothing to offer but myself and no idea what the future will bring. Before I say anything, I need to know, if you—if you wanted to go home, I would understand.”

  The touch of her hand on his prompted him to look at her.

  “I am home.” The certainty in her tone was a balm to the fear that ravaged him. “I missed you. A lot.”

  Eun Gi left the ramyeon untouched. His fingers threaded through her hair, urging her closer. Her palm pressed to his chest, met with his frantic heart striking the ribs beneath. He took every second of contact into his soul, memorizing the taste and texture of her mouth, the heat and pressure of her hands, and the thrum in his blood. Every day in the detention centre he’d relied on her visits, when she would hold his hands for those brief moments. He’d craved being able to touch her so easily like this, desperate for more than he was allowed. She didn’t even know how much he needed the comfort of her nearness.

  “Tessa.” Their lips brushed together once more as she settled onto his lap, his arms looping around her waist.

  “Yeah?”

  Guilt gnawed at him. Was he being selfish? Trapping her somehow despite her assurances? He pushed past it. The words needed to be said.

  “I love you.”

  Her mouth was on his again, fingers cradling his head. Tension discharged like a pressure valve released.

  She dropped her forehead to his. “I love you too.”

  “There’s something else.” He’d considered it a lot over the past few days when the exhaustion hadn’t turned his thoughts to mush.

  “Oh?”

  “I want to be better.”

  “Eun Gi—”

  “Please let me finish.” He paused. “I want to be better, for you, but also for me. Neither of us deserves what I’ve put us through with my inability to cope. I want to get help when we get settled again. Would you help me find a therapist? I don’t know where to start.”

  “Of course. I’ll help with whatever you need.”

  “Thank you.” He nestled closer, pressing a kiss to the curve of her throat.

  She shifted uncomfortably in his lap. “Eun Gi, I’m sorry. I should never have provoked your mother the way I did, and then afterward… You were so upset and I handled it badly.” Her thumb brushed over his cheek. “I’ll do better.”

  The doorbell rang, yanking their attention towards it. Eun Gi went rigid.

  Shit.

  Kim Seo Yun and Chun Hei stood on the other side when he opened the door. Eun Gi swallowed hard, glancing at his wife, who was staring at the two women, thoroughly confused.

  Seo Yun bowed to each of them. “Baek Eun Gi, Hale Tessa, thank you for having us.”

  Tessa nodded, looking curiously to Eun Gi.

  “Could we possibly have a few minutes?” Eun Gi asked.

  Seo Yun frowned.

  “Just a few. Please come in. Have some water, we’ll only be a moment.” Eun Gi dashed away with Tessa, closing the bedroom door behind him. “I’m sorry. I’m not even free for a day, and I’ve already fucked up.”

  “What’s going on?”

  “My parents were arrested, and Chun Hei has nowhere to go.”

  “Holy shit.” Tessa sank down on the edge of the bed. “Okay. So, what do you want to do?”

  “I have no idea. If I don’t take her, what happens to her? If I do, what happens to me? I don’t know how to be around her.” He sat next to her. “What do you think we should do?”

  “Taking in a teenager won’t be easy. She doesn’t seem especially fond of me, but she’s family. If you want to take her,
then I’ll support it. We can figure it all out somehow.”

  “What did I do to deserve you?” He snared her into a hug, kissing her temple. “I guess we have to go back out?”

  “Yes. Your sister has to be scared. It’s a lot of upheaval for a kid.”

  Anxiety locked up his muscles, but he kept his hand in Tessa’s when they went to face Chun Hei and Seo Yun.

  “Chun Hei, how are you doing?” he asked.

  His sister shrugged, her usual vigor gone, replaced by a deflated countenance.

  Eun Gi directed them towards the living room.

  “Before we get too deeply into this,” Seo Yun said, “I have to ask if you’re interested in taking over the guardianship of your sister? I understand you’re newlyweds and that things have been… complicated, but the matter is pressing. If you’re not willing to take this on, we’ll have to contact other relatives, or foster care.”

  “Oppa. Please.” Chun Hei’s voice cracked. She dropped to her knees in the hallway, tears streaking down her red face. “I didn’t mean to! I didn’t know—”

  Eun Gi sank down. “Didn’t mean to what?”

  “I thought they’d be fined. I didn’t know they’d be arrested. I just wanted you to get free.” She hurled herself into his arms. “Please don’t hate me.”

  “I could never hate you.” Eun Gi gathered his sister into a hug, letting her cry. What he would have given for someone to have done the same to him when he’d been young.

  Tessa led Seo Yun away to give them some space.

  “I didn’t know what they’d done to you,” Chun Hei whispered. “Eomma always said that you didn’t care about us and sent money to keep us from embarrassing you. I was mad at you for so long.”

  “Chun Hei, I—” He choked. “I’m so sorry. I could never handle being around them. The panic was always too much. I’m not surprised you believed her when she said I didn’t care.”