Ezekiel's Passion

by Bailey West

  “I don’t know how Zanetta!”

  “You’re going to lose the first man that you’ve ever loved because you don’t know how? You didn’t know how to be a dentist, but you learned. You didn’t know how to be a mom, but you are the best around. You didn’t know how to be a best friend, but I can’t live without you! You have proven that you can do whatever you want to do!”

  “Stop yelling at me!”

  “I’m not yelling! I just want you to finally hear me!”

  “You’re saying I was wrong for turning down his proposal?”

  “No, I’m not saying that! I’m saying make your decision based on the present. Not on your past. I’m not taking sides. I just want you to be happy. What do you need from me? Do you want me to come over? Do you want me to call him and curse him out? What do you need?”

  “No…I just need you to do what you just did. Tell me the truth.”

  “I’m happy to be an aunt again. I’m happy that you’re in love and I’m happy that I will be around to experience every step with you. Zeke will get out of his feelings and y’all will be okay, I know it.”

  “You think we will be okay?”

  “Yes. I know it. You want me to pray with you?”

  I nodded my head, “Please.”

  Ezekiel

  I kept replaying the argument Zora and I had three days ago. I know that the way I asked her to marry me was not the most romantic. I know that I probably should have prefaced my request with I love you or I can’t live without you, probably both. Both are true.

  I never thought she would say no. Not only did she say no, but she backed away from me like I was some stranger and not the father of the child she is carrying. She’s carrying my baby…wow. I know I was wrong for cursing at her and accusing her of sleeping with someone else. That was low…gutter low. She hurt my feelings and my pride, so I lashed out. It was stupid and immature. I need to apologize, but right now, I’m sulking.

  I was staying with my mom and dad instead of at the hotel with the band. The last show of the tour was at Madison Square Garden. I didn’t feel like being bothered with people.

  Lyrica’s doctor demanded that she stop the tour. She wanted to fight it, but Obasi made the call for her. We will resume after their baby is born.

  My mother knocked on the door before she entered my old bedroom.

  “Hi, Baby.”

  “Hi, mom.”

  “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

  I sat up on the bed, “Sure.”

  When I arrived, I asked for a little space. I knew my Mom wanted me to talk to her so that she could find out what was going on but I didn’t feel like rehashing the whole thing.

  “How are you feeling, sweetheart?”

  “Pretty stupid. I overreacted.”

  I ran down the sequence of events to her. I omitted the yelling and cursing part.

  “I can agree that you overreacted. Have you spoken to Zora?”

  “No.”

  I hadn’t spoken to her since the conversation we had after the argument. I want to call her, but I don’t know what to say.

  “Zora reminds me so much of you. Did you know that?”

  “Why do you say that?”

  “She is driven, and goal focused. Those are two things I admire about you. She had this master plan to keep love out of her life, just like you, but look what happened. You both found each other anyway. Now you both are scared but for different reasons. Instead of figuring it out together you both are hiding.

  Marriage is important, very important but did you ever think to ask her why she said no? Does it have anything to do with all the important men in her life abandoning her? Does it have anything to do with the strained relationship she has with her mother? Maybe it could have something to do with her residency?”

  “I didn’t ask.”

  “You just walked out of her life like every other important man in her life has done?”

  That revelation made me sick to my stomach. Did I do exactly what Braeden’s father did? Did I turn my back like her father and brothers did?

  “Momma, I didn’t realize…”

  “I know. I know you didn’t but now that you do know, what are you going to do about it? Do you love her?”

  “Yes, I do.”

  “How do you know?”

  “I know because she is the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning followed closely by BJ. Even when I don’t have time in my schedule, I figure out a way to at least see her. It could be something as simple as asking her to stay over at my house so when I get home she is there. The smell of her hair on my pillows help me to sleep better at night.”

  “You’re not worried about taking on the responsibility of another man’s child?”

  “BJ is mine. I know I didn’t create him, but I’m molding him. He may not carry my DNA biologically, but he is my legacy. When I look at him, I see pure love.”

  My mother swiped at a tear that had fallen from her eye, “Have you told her? Have you said these things to her?”

  “No, but I show her through my actions.”

  “Not speaking to her for days or not apologizing is showing her you love her?”

  I nodded my head.

  “No, it doesn’t.”

  “Fix this Ezekiel. It’s your responsibility to make sure your family is whole. Do you understand?”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  14

  “Doctor Chambers there are two gentlemen here to see you.” Liz, my assistant, said after knocking on my office door.

  “Two men?”

  “Yes, um…” she looked at piece of paper in her hand, “Roman and Paxton Bluette?”

  I walked down the hall to the front desk of my practice. I rounded the corner and saw Roman and Paxton standing by the front desk.

  “Roman, Paxton. Hi, what are you doing here?”

  Both men smiled.

  I noticed the little huddle of women behind the desk whispering and staring at them. I don’t blame them. Both men are handsome.

  “We came to take our sister to lunch. You are hungry, right?” Roman asked.

  “Is the sky blue? Of course, I’m hungry. Pregnant women are always hungry! I am going to grab my purse. I will be right back.”

  I changed out of my scrubs, used the restroom and grabbed my purse. I went back up front and followed Roman and Paxton out of the office to Paxton’s truck.

  “What would you like to eat?” Paxton asked.

  “Anything. Peanut and I are not particular,” I rubbed my stomach.

  It seems like as soon as I told people that I was pregnant, I developed a little baby bump. It’s small, but it’s noticeable.

  “How about Italian?” Roman asked.

  “Sounds good to us.”

  We chose an Italian restaurant that was close to the office. We entered the restaurant and were seated immediately by the hostess.

  “To what do I owe the pleasure of having two Bluette men as my lunch dates?” I figured it had something to do with Ezekiel.

  “The pleasure is all mine. You are my sister, my only sister. I plan on spoiling you the same way my brothers spoil Nette. I always wanted a sister. As a matter of fact, I wanted Ezekiel to be a girl, but God decided to play a cruel joke on me and give me Zeke instead.” Roman answered.

  “Same here. We were together and decided to come by and check on you. We told Ezekiel we would make sure you were okay while he was away. Now you are toting around a little family member in there, you won’t be able to get rid of us.” Paxton added.

  We all laughed.

  “I appreciate you both. I can’t say it enough.”

  After we ordered our food, I was certain that one of them would bring up Ezekiel, but they did not. Roman told me about BJ’s piano lessons and how well he was picking up the keyboard. Paxton talked about BJ’s bowties and what he wanted to do with the company.

  “BJ is so very talented. He can do anything that he puts his mind to,” Roman s
aid.

  “Yes, and he is such a blessing. He is so excited about being a big brother.”

  “I’m excited about being an uncle, again. Maybe Peanut is a girl then we will have a nephew and a niece,” Paxton added.

  “I miss him so much,” I blurted.

  Roman looked at me and smiled, “I can tell you miss him.”

  Ezekiel and I hadn’t spoken since our argument three days ago. I refused to call because I was being stubborn. I guess he was too. I know we need to talk, but I don’t know where to start.

  “No, I mean, I miss him so much it’s hard to breathe. I miss him so much I can’t sleep.”

  “We didn’t bring you out to lunch to discuss Zeke. We really just wanted to check on you and feed you but since you brought him up, did you know that you are the only woman he has ever introduced to our parents?”

  I knew that Ezekiel didn’t make a habit of introducing women to his parents, but I figured they had at least met one before me.

  “It’s true. Our parents have never even heard about a female he was dealing with. Ezekiel has always marched to the beat of his own drum, literally!” Paxton added.

  We all laughed.

  “When we were young, after finding out that his light eyes were a chick magnet, he decided that he was never going to settle down and get married. Remember Pax?”

  “Yeah, he always talked about being an eternal bachelor,” Paxton chuckled.

  “After I got married and settled down, I was positive that he would follow suit, but he didn’t. He was serious about staying single. He didn’t bring women around my mother at all. He never mentioned being serious about anyone, ever. Oh, and if she had a child? He wouldn’t date her. Then you and BJ came along. My brother is talking about what college he wants to send BJ to,” Roman explained.

  “He introduced you to our mother and father. He’s talked about reducing his travel schedule.” Paxton interjected.

  “He told you about missing the zoo trip?” I laughed.

  “Yeah, he did.”

  We chuckled.

  “His whole outlook on life has changed since he met you. I understand why you don’t want to be with him, though. He’s too immature, right?” Roman questioned.

  I shook my head. “No, he is very mature. There is no aspect of him that is immature. I mean he’s silly and funny, but when it comes down to business, he handles everything promptly and makes great decisions.”

  “Oh, well then he must be inconsistent.”

  “No, if he says he is going to do something, then he does it. Everything he has told me he was going to do, from putting a picture up on my wall to getting the oil changed on my car, he has done it.”

  “He doesn’t show you how he feels about you, right? All words no action?” Roman continued to question.

  “I know he loves me. He shows me his love through his actions. He cooks for me. He rubs my feet after a long day. He takes BJ for hours at a time so I can rest. He prays with me.”

  “Then, what is the problem?” Paxton asked.

  “I am the problem. There are things about me that would ruin his opinion of me. I am messed up.”

  Roman passed me a handkerchief so that I could wipe my face. I was crying all over the place.

  “I don’t believe that there is anything that you could tell my brother that would change the way he feels about you. Except, did you have anything to do with his pet turtle dying when he was in the third grade?” Roman asked.

  “What was that turtle’s name? Oh, Speedy!” Paxton chuckled.

  “Zeke loved that turtle. One day he came home, and the turtle had ‘gone on to be with the Lord.’ Those were the words my father used when he broke the news to him,” he chuckled as he thought back. “Zeke swore up and down that someone did something to that turtle. Was it you?”

  I chuckled and nodded my head, “No, I didn’t do anything to his turtle.”

  “Then you are good.”

  “I wish it were that simple. I was…”

  Roman cut me off, “Don’t tell us. You need to tell Ezekiel first. If you feel like you need to talk to us about it after you tell him, then we will be here for you. I don’t want you to tell me and then think that Ezekiel and I will have the same reaction.”

  “We have your back Zora, okay? Anything you need. We’re here. I know that my brother is crazy about you and you feel the same about him. It’s not every day a person finds that one person that gets them, you know? Talk to him for me, please.” Paxton finished.

  “Okay, I will.”

  Ezekiel

  “I’m sorry,” I said as soon Zora answered her phone.

  It had been four days since we’d spoken and I was a mess. I didn’t know how to apologize, so I just blurted it out as soon as she answered the phone. I wasn’t sure she would answer. After talking to my mother and realizing how my leaving probably made Zora feel, I knew I needed to call. Between getting prepared for the last show, packing up and getting to the airport, I didn’t have the time to call her until now. I thought about taking the coward way out and sending a text, but I hurt the woman that I love, and I had to man-up and fix it. I was sitting in the airport waiting to board my flight, but I couldn’t go another minute without apologizing.

  “I’m sorry too,” she said softly.

  I exhaled a deep breath and moved further into the corner I’d found near the airport gate where I would be boarding my flight.

  “Z, I overreacted. I was stupid.”

  “I miss you.”

  “I miss you too. How are you feeling? How are my kids?”

  “I feel okay. BJ and Peanut are good.”

  “Aye Zeke! They are boarding the plane.” One of the band members called from behind me.

  “Alright. I’m coming.”

  “Z, I’m about to board the plane. I will be back in enough time to get ready for church. Can you have BJ ready for me? I would like to take him with me. After church can we talk?”

  “Yes, he’s going to be so excited. I would like to talk.”

  “Cool, I have to go.”

  I didn’t want to hang up. I wanted to tell her that I loved her. I needed her, and I couldn’t live without her, but I needed to say it in person.

  “Okay. Zeke?”

  “Yeah, Z?”

  “…dream about me?”

  “Even when I’m awake.”

  I arrived in Houston with enough time to get to my house, shower, change and head to Zora’s house to pick up BJ for church. I was nervous and excited to see them both.

  “Zeke! You’re home!”

  BJ came running down the hall as I entered Zora’s house.

  “Hey, big man.” I kissed him on the cheek and gave him a hug. “I missed you so much!”

  “I missed you too!”

  “Guess what?”

  “What?”

  “I’m home for good. I’m not on tour anymore.”

  “You’re not?”

  “Nope, I’m not leaving again for a while. Were you a big boy for your Mommy like I asked you to be?”

  “Yes, I was. My apple stayed on the tree at school.”

  “Great job Man! I have some things I brought you back, but they are at my house. We will get them later, okay?”

  “Okay!”

  “You look nice today. Is this one of the new designs from your bowtie collection?” He was wearing a colorful plaid bow tie with his denim shirt and khaki pants.

  “Yes, Tee Tee helped me pick out the fabric.”

  “You did a great job. I’m proud of you. Do you know that?”

  “Yes, ‘cause you tell me that all the time.”

  “That’s because it’s true! I missed you too, so much!” I hugged him again.

  As I was finishing my sentence, Zora appeared in the hallway wearing a fitted black dress and hot pink stilettos. She had my undivided attention as she walked towards us.

  “Welcome back,” she smiled.

  “Thank you.”

  I examined h
er from head to toe. She was wearing her hair down with a part in the middle. I love it when she wears her hair that way. She had on a little makeup and pink lipstick that made her lips extra kissable. Peanut filled the dress out in her midsection. She’s starting to show. It’s not a whole lot but because her stomach was flat before it’s very noticeable. I wanted to touch her, but I knew that I had some more apologizing to do before I touched her like that.

  “You look stunning, Z. Are you headed somewhere?”

  “Yes, I’m going to church with you guys if that’s okay.”

  “That’s okay Mommy, right Zeke?”

  “Of course it is, Big Man.”

  Zora smiled.

  I missed her smile. She grabbed her purse off the table and followed BJ out of the house. I locked the front door and proceeded to open her door to my truck.

  I helped her in and closed her door. I walked to my side thinking this is how Sundays are supposed to be. My little man, my Lady and my baby all on the way to church together.

  I pulled into the street headed in the direction of the church.

  “Does Lil Sis know you are coming?”

  “No, I thought I would surprise her. I didn’t want her making a big fuss over me being there.”

  BJ carried the conversation as we made our way down the highway to the church. He seemed to be excited that his mom was joining us for church. I know I was.

  I reached for Zora’s hand. She laced her fingers in mine. I smiled and kissed the back of her hand. I know we still have a lot to talk about, but this gesture lets me know that things were going to be okay.

  I pulled up to the church and parked in my usual spot. I let BJ out of the truck first and then opened Zora’s door. I held her left hand to help her out of the truck. I glanced at her finger wishing my ring was there.

  We went through the side door of the church that leads to the offices. I knocked on Blue’s office door. Nette opened the door and squealed when she saw Zora standing beside me.

  “Sissy! You’re here!”

  BJ and I walked into the office while Nette hugged Zora.

  “Come in Sissy! I’m so glad you are here!”