Ezekiel's Passion

by Bailey West

  “Hey Lil Sis,” Roman also hugged Zora. “It’s good to see you.”

  “What’s up Zora. Glad you’re here.” Paxton hugged her. “How are you feeling?”

  “I’m good, Pax,” she smiled.

  “You can sit next to me just in case you need to go to the restroom or anything during service,” Nette said excitedly.

  “Where do you sit? Not up there where Roman sits right? I can’t be up on no stage. I’m here but don’t push it, Sissy.”

  “Zora,” Zanetta laughed, “You know I would not have you sitting up in the pulpit! We all sit on the floor on the front row. We can sit near the door to this area just in case you need to leave for any reason.”

  “Oh, okay, cool.”

  We all filed out of the office. I took BJ to children’s church and took my position on the drums. Zora walked out of the back with Nette and sat next to her. I watched her the entire time I was on the drums. She seemed to be enjoying the service. After the praise and worship portion of the service, I usually sit with the other musicians in the office and watch the service from there until we are needed on the instruments again. This Sunday, I had the Usher save me a seat next to Zora. I went and sat by her before Roman began his message. She grabbed my hand as soon as I sat down.

  “Because your loving kindness is better than life, my lips shall praise you!” Roman exclaimed.

  The church responded by clapping, standing and saying amen.

  “I’m a movie person. Some people are more television people, but I like movies. Who else likes movies?”

  Some people in the congregation raised their hands.

  “One of my most favorite movies is The Wiz. It’s the African-American adaptation of The Wizard of Oz, just in case you didn’t know. My wife enjoys the original version more than she likes the adaptation. I informed her that her black card is in jeopardy for speaking such blasphemy.”

  People laughed. He smiled and winked at Zanetta.

  “The premise of the movie is that there is a young woman who finds herself in a strange place and is trying to get back home. She encounters some obstacles as she follows this path to get her to the person that can ultimately get her back home. She meets people who are willing to walk this path with her and others who are only on the road with her to deter her or hinder her progress.

  Did you know that we are all like Dorothy? We are all on a road going somewhere. That somewhere is our destiny. In the Bible, we see this story over and over again. Let’s use Joseph as an example. Joseph’s ultimate destiny was to be the person that saved his family from the famine. His brothers were on the road with him to his destiny. They were like the accordion people in The Wiz. They were not on the road to help him, they were there to deter him. They threw him into a pit and then sold him into slavery. Guess what? He still made it to his destination.

  We can use Jesus as an example. Jesus was on the road to his destiny. He had people on the road that wanted to see Him succeed. He also had people on the road that wanted to see him fail. Guess what? He still made it to his destination. We are so grateful that He did!”

  The audience applauded.

  “There is a scripture in Ecclesiastics that talks about seasons. We all have seasons in our life. There are some friends that you will see you through to your destination, and there are some that are seasonal. They may be like the munchkins who could only point Dorothy in the direction of the yellow brick road but could not make the trip with her. Then there will be some friends like the Scarecrow, Tin Man and Lion that will make the journey with you.

  You have to be aware of those that are ordained to walk with you and those that are ordained to point you in the direction you're supposed to go. People are placed in your life for three purposes: a reason, a season or a lifetime. Don’t confuse people’s purposes in your life. Understand that on your road to destiny you will have to leave some people behind.

  Could you imagine if Dorothy had to make that trip with all of those singing little people? At some point, she would have turned around and said, “Shut up!” Well, that’s what I would have done. You know what it’s like when you are trying to follow directions and you turn the radio down? Like the volume of the radio somehow helps you navigate better.”

  The audience laughed again.

  “They were ordained to encourage her to begin, but they were not ordained to follow her through to the end. Out of all of the people she met, only three saw her to her destination. Please don’t be sad when your level of growth or progression causes you to have to leave some people behind. They were not ordained to go with you in the first place. You cannot take them with you. They will hinder you from getting to where you are going. They will make your trip longer, more strenuous and you will miss the blessings along the way.

  If Dorothy had taken all the Munchkins with her, she might not have stopped to slide a little oil to the Tin Man. She probably would have missed his muffled cries for help because of all the singing the Munchkins would have been doing.”

  The audience laughed.

  “Beloved, let me encourage you today. If you find yourself not progressing, not moving forward, not seeing that next destination that you were promised, re-evaluate who you have along for the ride. Do you have a reason with you or are you stuck with a season?”

  Zora didn’t move during Roman’s message. She took notes on her phone and stayed fully engaged. When Roman called a prayer line, she didn’t get up to go to the line, but she did ask Zanetta to pray with her.

  After they prayed together, I said, “I’m going to get B from children’s church.”

  “I will come with you. I would like to know how it works so I can take him if I need to.”

  Her response made me pause. Does this mean that she is going to come back? I would love it if my whole family were here with me on Sundays.

  I placed my hand on the small of her back to direct her through the crowd to the children’s church. I held out my wristlet with a bar code on it. It is used to check the children in and out. That way we aren’t passing children out to the wrong adult.

  “Hi, Brother Ezekiel. Welcome back.”

  “Sister Janet,” I smiled, “Thank you. This is BJ’s mother, Zora.”

  “Well, aren’t you beautiful! Look at those blue eyes!”

  Sister Janet is one of the women that oversees the children’s ministry. She’s worked with children for years. All the children love her.

  Zora smiled, “Thank you, Sister Janet.”

  “Oh, and look at that glow. Do you know what you are having yet?”

  “No, ma’am, I don’t know yet. We are hoping for a girl but either way I will be happy,” Zora smiled.

  “What a beautiful baby that is going to be,” she winked at me. I smiled back at her.

  BJ ran up to the door with a juice packet and a bag of Cheez-its.

  “Mommy! I learned about a man that was living in a big fish until God saved him.”

  “Wow, you will have to tell me all about it.”

  “I will. Bye Sister Janet. I love you.”

  “I love you too, BJ.”

  BJ held my hand and Zora’s hand as we walked to my truck.

  “We are going to dinner at Blue and Nette’s house, right?” I asked Zora as I helped her into the truck.

  “Yes, I would like to go and change before we go over there.”

  “Okay, hey B, what did you learn today?”

  We drove back to her house. BJ told us the story he learned in children’s church about the man that lived in the fish. Some of his facts were a little distorted so Zora, and I had to correct him, but he had most the story correct.

  We arrived at the house.

  “BJ, go to your room and change out of your clothes into some play clothes. Bring your swim trucks. You may be able to get in the pool.”

  He took off running to his room.

  “B!” I yelled. “I know you’re not running!”

  He stopped and started walking, “No sir, I�
��m walking.”

  Zora turned with her back facing me and said, “Can you unzip this?”

  I reached for the zipper and slowly pulled it down. I watched as her beautiful brown skin was exposed. It looked so soft. God, I missed her so much. I got to the bottom of the zipper track and couldn’t stop myself from wrapping my arm around her waist and pulling her into me. I rested my hand on her stomach and buried my face in her neck.

  “I’m sorry,” I said while still resting my face in her neck.

  “I'm sorry too,” she whispered.

  She turned around to face me. We stared at each other for a few minutes before BJ yelled, “Zeke!”

  “What's up man?” I asked without taking my eyes off Zora.

  “I pooped!”

  We looked at each other and laughed.

  “I missed hearing that! Go and get changed. I will take care of him.”

  I pulled her into me and lightly kissed her on the lips.

  “We will talk after dinner, right?”

  “Right,” she smiled.

  She turned and went to her room to change. I went and tended to BJ.

  “Welcome home, Zeke,” Zanetta hugged me as we entered the house.

  “Thanks, Lil Sis.”

  We walked into the living room and saw a new face.

  “Olivia Callahan, this is my best friend Zora and my brother, Pastor Roman’s youngest brother Ezekiel. Olivia is the new director of the Academy.”

  “I saw you both at church this morning. It's nice to meet you.” Olivia extended her hand.

  She shook Zora’s hand then mine.

  “Zora, Olivia you want to help me in the kitchen?” Nette asked.

  I know that's girl code for let's talk without the men listening.

  “I got B,” I smiled.

  Zora

  I decided after my quick phone call with Zeke last night that I was going to go to church. It was time. I had to face those things that I ran from so many years ago. I was starting with church. I thought that I would feel weird being there, but it was so peaceful. It felt like a part of the puzzle of my life was finally in place. One of the singers on the praise team sang Center of my Joy. Richard Smallwood sang it originally. My dad would sing it at church. I loved hearing him sing it. He always said it was his favorite song. Hearing it today brought back so many memories. I still remembered all the words.

  I am overjoyed to have Zeke back home. I know we need to talk. I am prepared to be completely honest with him. I need him to understand why I said no.

  “What's for dinner? I'm hungry!” I asked after I followed Zanetta into her kitchen.

  “Pot roast, roasted potatoes, and green beans,” Zanetta replied.

  “Is there something to eat now? I'm starved!” I rubbed my stomach.

  “It's some fruit in the refrigerator, Drama Queen.”

  I chose the red grapes that were in the fridge then sat next to Olivia at the island.

  Olivia was shorter than me but taller than Nette. Her close-set brown eyes had a sadness to them that she tried to mask. I can see sadness because I am so familiar with the emotion. Above her eyes, she had thick, full eyebrows that looked like they’d never seen a piece of thread, wax or a razor. Her natural brown hair was pulled back into a ponytail. I could tell her hair was long by the way she had it tucked into a knot. She was basic but pretty. She had a beautiful smile and nice teeth. Her dress was too big for her, in my opinion. I could tell when I walked into the kitchen behind her that she was hiding some curves.

  “Olivia, are you from Houston?” I asked while popping a grape into my mouth.

  “No, I'm from Savannah, Georgia. I moved to Houston after my divorce. Well actually before my divorce…that's a long, complicated story.”

  “He messed up, huh?” I asked while popping another grape into my mouth.

  “Yes, he did, terribly.”

  She looked a little sad, so I didn’t press her for more information about her divorce.

  “You will be the director of the academy at the church?”

  “Yes, I was fortunate to be selected for the position,” Olivia said meekly.

  “Please, you are the most qualified plus you did so well during all your interviews. We are fortunate to have you.” Zanetta responded.

  “Do you have family here?” I asked.

  “No, I don’t have any family here. That is one of the reasons why I chose Houston. I wanted a fresh start. I needed to go where no one knew my name. I spent a lot of years in my ex-husband’s shadow. Now I want the sun to shine on me so that I can cast my own shadow.”

  “I know that’s right!”

  “I’ve survived having lived with one of the most heartless, callous, vile, vituperative, supercilious people on earth; my ex-husband. Now I just want to live.”

  I saw how much anger was behind each word she said.

  “You better use your words! Come through thesaurus!”

  We all laughed. We needed something to lighten the mood.

  “I’m sorry. It was a hard time in my life.”

  “You don’t have to apologize! We are glad you are here now,” Nette said.

  “I’m glad too. Everyone has been so nice and helpful.”

  “Especially Paxton,” Nette smiled.

  I looked between Nette and Olivia. Nette nodded and smiled.

  “Really?” I questioned.

  Olivia nodded and blushed.

  That’s interesting.

  “Sissy, do you want BJ to stay with us tonight?”

  “I don’t know if you will be able to get him away from Zeke, but that would be great if he could stay.”

  It would be easier for Zeke and me to talk without BJ being there. I don’t want him to overhear what I need to say to Ezekiel.

  Zanetta cooked a ton of food like she does almost every Sunday dinner. We ate, laughed, debated and enjoyed each other’s company. It felt good having everyone together again.

  “Zora, you met Olivia?” Paxton asked.

  “I did Pax, Nette introduced us.”

  I thought back to me and Paxton’s conversation at the release party and smiled.

  Olivia fit right in. Paxton sat next to her. He studies her like these Bluette men have a tendency to do. It was interesting to see this side of him. I’m so used to him being the quiet protector. He was fully engaged in the conversation and trying to get to know Olivia. She seems to be a little shy but the way he is already all in her space, I don’t see that shyness lasting too long.

  Zeke

  I noticed Zora yawning.

  “Are you ready to go home?”

  She nodded.

  I didn’t think BJ would go for spending the night with Blue and Nette, but he had fallen asleep, so we were going to leave him with them. I’m sure he will be calling me first thing in the morning to come and pick him up.

  Zora and I rode back to her house. I held Zora’s hand while I drove. Neither one of us said anything. We both were immersed in our own thoughts. I was going over everything in my head that I needed to say to her. I needed to apologize for cursing at her. I needed to let her know that it was never my intention to make her feel like the men in her past made her feel.

  We made it to her house. I turned off the engine and sat for a moment.

  “It’s time to talk, right?”

  “Yes, it is.”

  I opened my door and came around to open her door. I led her into the house by her hand. We sat on the couch in the living room.

  “Let me go first, Zeke.”

  “No, I need to go first because I need to say…”

  “No, Zeke, I really need to say this because…”

  “Z, I know but it’s not really necessary to…”

  We were talking over each other until she yelled, “BJ was not my first pregnancy!”

  Zora

  Ezekiel stopped talking and looked at me like I had two heads.

  I stood from the couch and backed into the wall as I continued to talk.

>   “BJ was not my first pregnancy because I was pregnant when I was seventeen years old. I was pregnant when I was seventeen years old because…” I took a deep breath and continued. “I was pregnant when I was seventeen years old because I was molested by my uncle and he got me pregnant.”

  Ezekiel shot up from the couch and came to stand in front of me.

  He reached for me, but I waved my hand, “Let me finish please, Zeke.” I closed my eyes to hold in the tears that were threatening to fall. I took another deep breath.

  “My uncle, my mother’s brother, started molesting me when I was fourteen years old. He moved in with us after he and his wife divorced. I told my mother the first time he touched me and she said that she didn’t believe me. She said that if it were true, it’s because I was fast and probably did something to provoke it. Even though I was a virgin and sex was the furthest thing from my mind. I never told my father because he was so wrapped up in the church. I felt like his response would have been the same as my mother’s. Besides, I know she told him. She wouldn’t keep something like that a secret.”

  I glanced at Ezekiel. He was quiet, but I noticed his jaw muscles clenched.

  “My brothers were already gone out of the house basically, and they never came back to check on me. I thought about calling my oldest brother, Countee and telling him but my uncle told me if I told them, he would murder them in their sleep. I believed him because he had been locked up before. I didn’t know why he was in jail, but I knew he had been in.”

  I wiped the tears from my face and continued. “I know that it was stupid to believe that he would murder them but I did. I believed him. Since my parents were so into working in the church, he had a lot of opportunities to get to me. They wouldn’t let me go anywhere, so I was always home. He took my virginity, my innocence away from me. He stole it, and I knew I could never get it back. I never just laid there and took it. I fought. I fought until I was exhausted. That’s when he would rape me.

  I found out I was pregnant about two weeks before I graduated from high school. I had already decided that after I graduated, I was leaving home and never looking back. I didn’t tell Nette that I was pregnant before I left because I knew that a secret that big would be too hard for her to hold on to. I did tell her that my uncle touched me, but I didn’t tell her about the rape until we were in New York. I made her promise not to tell Uncle JD and Auntie because I knew they would force my parents to do something and then they would hate me even more. At least that was my reasoning at the time.