The Heart of the Lost Star (Tales of the High Court Book 3)

by Megan Derr

  Which, given his contemptible ex-husband, wasn't remotely surprising.

  Not that it mattered. Banishing his rambling thoughts, Jader climbed to his feet and dragged Kamir with him before bending to claim that sweet, earnest mouth again, humming soft approval at the arms that curled around his neck.

  Kamir fit nicely in his arms, and Jader wouldn't mind finding out how much better they'd fit together naked in bed. As shy and quiet as Kamir seemed to be, he probably came alive once he was comfortable. Jader wanted to see his face fill with pleasure, wanted to hear every unguarded noise he made.

  And he should probably stop before he used that dark, dusty room to find out and showed up looking messy and well-fucked to the dinner he was meant to be having with a woman he wished he'd never met.

  Pulling back, he struggled for a moment to breathe properly, then said, "As much as I would love to continue this, I really should stop playing the coward and go dine with Lady Krista. I do not suppose, however, that we could arrange something for a later date?"

  "I—" Kamir swallowed visibly. "I have to go into the city tomorrow. I have an appointment at half past midday. It should not take more than two hours. We could meet somewhere at the closing bell?"

  Jader ran swiftly through his mental list of important appointments and such, but found nothing that couldn't be shuffled—one of the few perks of being High Commander was that everyone else waited for him, save the High King and Consort. "Yes, that can be done, barring an order from the High Throne, of course, in which case I'll send word. Do you know The Faded Moon?

  Kamir's eyes widened again. "Yes, I know it."

  "Meet me there, then."

  "As you wish."

  Jader bent to kiss him one last time, wanting a pleasant memory to take with him to dinner. "I'll see you tomorrow, then, my lord."

  "Tomorrow, Commander," Kamir replied, and Jader very much liked how breathless he sounded.

  "Thank you for listening and helping me." Feeling a little more capable of facing dinner, Jader departed, looking back briefly to smile, further heartened by the sun-bright smile Kamir gave him in return.

  Chapter Five

  Even the fact he was going into the city to purchase a house was not enough to outstrip the single happy thought filling Kamir's head like a net filled with butterflies: he was hours away from an assignation with Jader.

  He was going to have dinner, and much much more, with Jader. Well, he hoped much more. Those kisses, the heated looks Jader had given him, seemed to promise such.

  It had taken him forever last night to settle down enough to fall sleep—even after Chiri and Chara had insisted on being brats about going to bed, even with the laborious process of touching up his hair. Money and time better spent elsewhere, but damn it, this was as close to making dreams a reality as he was ever going to get. He hadn't had a lover since his last attempt four years ago. Was it really so wrong he wanted to spoil himself a bit? That he wanted to look and feel as good as possible for dinner with the man he'd pined after for years?

  No, no it wasn't. He was buying his family a good house, bringing himself that much closer to standing on his own once and for all, and then he was going to enjoy dinner and bed with Jader, and nothing and no one was going to ruin this day for him.

  He sat at his dressing table to work on his hair, pleased to see he'd done a fine job touching up the purple dye. Hmm, something pretty, but easy to undo if Jader wanted to see him with his hair down. It had been down in that dusty old sitting room, but the room had been dark.

  Settling on a simple twist, he secured it with a gold comb decorated with amber and amethyst butterflies that went nicely with his outfit of various shades of purple trimmed in dark gold. The last touch was a pair of dangling amethyst earrings—nothing half as amazing as the earrings Jader wore, but Velina had declared them suitable.

  Gathering up a lightweight cloak to keep the dust of the city off his clothes, he finally headed out, kissing his children in parting and thanking Velina again for being willing to watch them more often lately. He would definitely use some of his saved money to see she received a generous bonus. She'd stuck by him for a long time; he could never repay all she had done for him and the children, the friendship she had offered, but hopefully the money would be something.

  Kamir hummed as he wended through the palace and outside. A stable hand approached him leading a handsome roan. "Lord Kamir?"

  "Yes, thank you," Kamir said, pulling on his cloak and draping a wrap over his head and shoulders before accepting the reins of the horse. He gave the stable hand a couple of pin, swung into the saddle, and rode off.

  He reached Shiar's office in less than an hour, even with the wait time at the gates. Shiar and Kamir's solicitor, Miliana, were already waiting. After they'd poured drinks and exchanged pleasantries, they sat down to go through the signing process.

  The last time he'd bought a house, Theoren had taken care of everything, but Kamir had been curious and read through all the paperwork one night when Theoren was out. Later he'd bought some cheap used books with damaged and missing pages to learn as much as he could.

  He was far from an expert on such matters, but at least familiar enough not to be so overwhelmed, though Harkenesten laws varied slightly from the rest of the empire.

  Still, they finished in just under two hours, leaving him with roughly an hour and a half before he met Jader for dinner.

  Shiar slid the key across the table and smiled as Kamir took it. "Congratulations, my lord. I'm so very happy for you."

  "I'm eternally grateful," Kamir said. "Without you, I would not have this house for my children. I thought this would take much longer than it has, and I'm all the more grateful for that."

  Waving the words aside, Shiar said, "I remember what it was like to be in your position. I am happy to have helped. Go and enjoy your new home. We'll have the paperwork filed and send copies on to you in the next few weeks. The courts can take forever sometimes, but at in the meantime you can start moving in." He walked Kamir to the door, hugged him briefly, and waved farewell as Kamir rode off.

  Kamir rode through the city to his new home, and only the fact he didn't want to show up to dinner with a splotchy face kept him from crying as he unlocked the gate and led the horse into the courtyard.

  His. This house was his. The down payment and first six months of the mortgage had been paid. He'd depleted most of his savings doing it, but he had another four months of payments saved and plenty of time to replenish his accounts, and still funds set aside to finish the rest of the moving process.

  Leaving the horse to wander the courtyard as it liked, since there was nowhere else it could go, Kamir unlocked the main entrance and stepped into his house—soon to be his home.

  This time when he walked through the house, he allowed himself to daydream all the things he could do with it—in the near and distant future. There was so much room. The children would have plenty of space to play and grow. Velina would adore the kitchen, and have a whole room of her own, the yard for a garden, and she would love being in the city closer to her lovers.

  Kamir could have a proper workshop and an office and a bedroom. Eventually he could hire painters to replace all the plain walls with more vibrant colors. The cellar had plenty of room for foodstuffs and wine and beer.

  He finally came to a halt back in the main room, immediately past the entry hall. The whole back wall was made of alternating panels of clear and stained glass, casting light and colorful shadows across the dark wooden floor. On either side, shelves and cupboards were built into the walls, along with decoratively carved panels, one which was a door that led to more private parts of the house, and the other which was on the surface just a panel to match the other but was really a door to a secret room. Such rooms were meant for storage, or places to keep private collections, libraries, or a discreet office. But more often they were called love nests. Stories abounded in Harken culture of people inviting over lovers only for a spouse or some
other figure to show up unexpectedly. Sometimes it was a servant who was the lover, other times a mortal enemy or a thief who snuck into the house and became trapped… and eventually found themselves coming back again and again for completely different reasons.

  The first time they'd gone through the house, he hadn't bothered to examine the love nest. The papers said it was empty and had not been used by the previous owner, and the owner before that had only used it for storage.

  He pulled out the papers and rifled through them until he found the instructions. Going to the west door, he found the songbird with a berry clutched in its beak. He pressed on the berry, and with a soft click, the door released and gaped open slightly. Laughing softly, he pulled the door open and stepped into the love nest.

  As stated, the room contained only dust. But he could see the bare traces of where a bed had stood so long the wood everywhere else had discolored but not that one spot. There were sconces still covered in colored glass to add intimate lighting.

  Kamir stood in the middle of the room and laughed. He would have to see what he could do about recreating a classic love nest. The temptation was too great. It would probably never see use as such, but it would be a nice place to slip away for a few minutes when the children drove him mad or he needed privacy he wouldn't get even in his own bedroom.

  He returned to the courtyard and fetched the horse that had found a patch of grass. The first thing Kamir would do when he had such funds again would be to repair the courtyard; it was more mud and grass than smooth stone.

  For the present, he had an assignation. Humming a favorite travel song, he headed off.

  The Faded Moon was a tavern in one of the more expensive distracts of the city, almost as well known for the food served as for the wines offered, which nearly rivaled the imperial cellars. Kamir had visited it twice in his life, both occasions when his brother was visiting and their parents wanted to spoil him and show off. On the rare occasion his sister held still long enough to visit their parents, they took her to a different showy place.

  Kamir had never been a good enough child to warrant taking somewhere special to show off. The last time his parents had been proud of him for anything, he'd gotten a perfect score on his final exams—almost one year precisely before he fell in love and ran away to get married. All he'd gotten for that perfect score was a new jacket.

  His wedding celebration had been in a noisy, overcrowded tavern on their way back from the only temple that would marry them, the only revelry from a group of traveling musicians who had, looking back, felt bad for the poor, scared boy in over his head.

  If only he'd listened to his own doubts—but he'd been too in love with the idea of romance and running away and defying the family that hated him. Too lonely and infatuated and angry.

  And he was probably being equally stupid now, entering into a dalliance with a man who would probably never see him as more, a man who clearly just needed a distraction from his own upturned life. But Kamir wasn't stubbornly blind and reckless this time. He knew what the reality was, he knew it would hurt when it ended, and most importantly, he knew he'd survive and be all right. He didn't need Jader to build a good life the way he'd once believed he needed Theoren; he was nearly there all on his own.

  Reaching the Moon, he dismounted and handed the horse off to the woman in sharp green livery who came rushing up. "Would you see the horse is returned to the palace for me? Thank you." Climbing the steps up into the beautiful pink stone building that looked more like a home or a library than a tavern, he was greeted by another person in green who took his cloak and head wrap. "You are Lord Kamir?"

  "Yes, I am."

  The woman smiled and motioned toward the door with her head. "If you'll follow me, your companion is here and has arranged a table for you."

  "Thank you."

  The tavern had changed slightly since his previous visit, the furniture redone in dark, dusty reds that looked all the richer against the dark-stained wood. The lighting was low, giving the whole place an intimate, at home feel rather than being yet another unremarkable tavern for alcohol that ranged from alarming to magnificent in quality and sometimes came with passable food. Places like the Moon were appearing more and more in the larger cities, though they were still a long way off from being a common practice.

  He had thought Jader would opt for a private dining room, of which the Moon had several, or one of the semi-private nooks that lined two walls of the dining hall.

  Instead, Jader sat at a table almost right in the center. He stood as he saw Kamir and stepped forward to greet him, offering both his hands. Kamir placed his own in them and hated his stupid face for turning hot as Jader dusted the barest kiss across his knuckles. "Good evening, my lord."

  Kamir tried to quell his rapidly returning nerves and smiled in return. "I believe I gave you leave to abandon formalities, Commander."

  Jader grinned. "Then you should do the same. Sit, please. I did not know what sort of wine you favored, or if you favored wine at all, so I requested a selection."

  "I enjoy wine, as anyone who dwells in the palace for long must if they hope to last," Kamir said with a faint laugh. "I do admit a weakness for the sweeter wines, though it makes everyone around me despair."

  "All wines have their place," Jader said, and turned his head slightly as he saw a server approaching them. Candlelight caught in his earrings, which were flat silver diamond-shaped frames with long strings of jewel beads hanging far enough down to nearly touch his shoulders. They shifted from white diamonds at the top, fading through gray to black diamonds at the bottom, all the more stark against his unusual complexion. The rest of his ears were filled with piercings as well—hoops along the edges, a silver bar that cut across the top curve, even a small diamond on the inner flap.

  There was also a small diamond in his nose that Kamir hadn't noticed before.

  The server set a narrow silver tray containing six small gold and silver wine cups, each containing a different wine. There was also soft bread and oil and vinegar to dip it in, and a plate of cheese, olives, and grapes.

  Kamir smiled and lifted the first cup. "Thank you for the invitation to dine."

  "Thank you for accepting."

  "I hope this did not cause problems with your… guests?" Kamir asked, and regretted the question at the shadows that passed over Jader's face.

  Jader took a sip of wine, and Kamir almost laughed at the look that put on his face. He'd heard the occasional rumor that Jader was a wine snob, but he could not imagine Jader being a snob about anything—it was one of the many, many things that drew him to Jader despite all the caution, anxiety, and doubts that held him back. Jader was loved, respected, and everyone who hated him sounded either jealous or resentful. He always seemed friendly and good with people, but with none of the oily charm that put Kamir off so many people in Harkenesten. That Jader was a snob about anything seemed laughable.

  Of course, he'd once had the same fawning thoughts about Theoren, and look where that had ended. It was hard to believe he was making that mistake again, but even more difficult to believe Jader had invited him to dinner simply for the pleasure of it.

  Sipping the same one Jader had chosen from his own tray, he did not feel quite as enthusiastic, but it wasn't terrible.

  Finally Jader said, "I spent most of the day with them, despite having roughly a thousand more important things to do. They were not happy I insisted on being elsewhere tonight, but they had little choice, especially since I think they are pushing to take me to Benta."

  Kamir wanted to hug him, the way he hugged Chiri and Chara when they had nightmares or got sick. "You're the High Commander, though. You cannot simply gallivant off—and to Benta no less."

  Jader nodded unhappily and took a sip of a different wine. "That was what I said, and Sarrica does not seem pleased. But what the empire needs prevails over what any of us wants. I am still hoping it will not come to pass. You should try the pale pink wine there."

  "What? Oh
." Kamir dutifully picked up the wine and tried a sip, smiling at the sweet, faintly flowery taste that filled his mouth. "This is delicious."

  "That's a Gaulden Crown Wine, called Crown in honor of the princess who funded the women responsible for the original winery, who crafted that specific wine to the princess's tastes. It's not as famous as some other wines from Gaulden, but it's nothing to scoff at either."

  Kamir took another sip and smiled. "I think our High Commander might have a weakness for wine."

  Jader laughed. "That's a polite way to put it. I was always something of a family disgrace for not preferring to drink nectar or settle for beer, which is the only acceptable substitute. Wine is a Mainlander failing."

  "Aren't Mainlanders one big failing as a whole?" Kamir asked.

  "Many Islanders would say yes." Jader winked. "I like to go on a person by person basis."

  Kamir hoped he didn't look like a hopelessly infatuated halfwit. He had expected a private dinner just long enough to be polite followed by an evening largely spent naked in bed—and had been plenty happy with that.

  Instead, this was feeling more and more like a courtship. Anyone else there who recognized them would waste no time in scurrying back to be the first to spread the gossip: Commander Jader had been seen dining with the Tesly embarrassment—what in the Pantheon would have forced the poor Commander to do that?

  He had no doubt they'd come up with plenty of guesses, each more awful than the last. None of them would be right, and however much he hated gossip and rumors, he'd rather listen to them all be horribly wrong and never know the truth.

  Never know what it was like to be trusted and confided in, or to be kissed so suddenly, breathlessly, in a dark and dusty room where they never should have crossed paths. They'd never know that Jader had been the one to kiss him, the one to ask him to dinner, without any reason at all but want.

  Let the palace have their rumors.

  "Velina talks about you to anyone who will hold still long enough, and she's always writing letters home. The Islands must love you or hate you by this point."