The Heart of the Lost Star (Tales of the High Court Book 3)

by Megan Derr

  They collapsed in a sweaty tangle on top of the bed sheets, lethargy washing over Kamir in the wake of such a fine finish to a wonderfully tumultuous day. There were going to be a hundred miserable days in his near future; it would be nice to have this memory to hold onto throughout.

  Jader pulled away after a few minutes, and Kamir's stomach clenched as he walked to his clothes—and continued past them to the wash basin in the corner. Resignation turned to fluttering warmth as Kamir watched Jader bring back a warm, damp rag. Jader cleaned Kamir up gently, drawing away with a soft kiss. He cleaned himself at the basin and returned to the bed, tugging the blankets back and settling them in place as he climbed in.

  Kamir's heart was going to pop.

  "What time do you need to be home?" Jader asked around a yawn, sliding up close, chest pressed to Kamir's back, one arm wrapping around him as he nuzzled Kamir's hair.

  "I said I'd return late in the morning."

  "Jealous," Jader replied sleepily. "I'll probably be hunted down and dragged away to resolve some crisis well before that. So if I'm gone when you wake up, that's why."

  Kamir smiled. "I understand. Thank you for tonight."

  Jader snorted softly, but his reply was mumbled and lost as he finally succumbed to sleep.

  Once he was certain Jader would stay asleep, Kamir gingerly pulled free and climbed out of bed. He pissed in the chamber pot and washed up, then fetched his flask and quickly drank the astiri tea. That taken care of, he reclaimed his warm spot in bed, smiling happily into sleep as Jader immediately wrapped around him again.

  Chapter Six

  "What now?" Jader asked with a sigh, nearly pitching the cup of wine he'd just picked up across the room. It was too good a wine to waste, however, so he set the cup down again. Honestly, all he wanted was one hour to enjoy a cup of wine and memories of his night with Kamir. Which had been even more wonderful and engaging and satisfying than he'd hoped—and his hopes had been very high. He was so rarely interested in anyone, he could not remember the last time he'd enjoyed himself so much he lingered over the night.

  Or resented people interrupting him.

  Axis looked apologetic as he said, "The High Consort has sent for you."

  Which meant Jader was definitely going to be sent to Benta to make nice with the family he wished he'd never met. If they'd opted not to send him, nobody would be bothering him—least of all the man in charge of political maneuverings. So much for Sarrica saying that would never happen. Mother Ocean drown them all.

  "I guess I'd better go, then." Jader sighed again. "Enjoy my lunch if you want. I doubt I'll be coming back here any time soon."

  "Are they really going to send you up north? For how long?"

  Jader shrugged as he stood and strapped his sword belt in place. "Hopefully only a matter of weeks, at worst months, though who I'm going to get to manage this place in my absence, I don't know. Guess I'll figure that out soon. If I don't see you again, have a good day, Axis. I'm sorry you're going to have to shuffle my entire schedule again."

  "It's what I'm paid to do," Axis said with a laugh, and sorted through Jader's desk, lifting a hand to bid him farewell.

  Walking through the halls, ignoring everyone around him, Jader quietly tried to quell the panic that was bubbling up. He didn't speak Bentan; his knowledge of Bentan culture was sufficient to go to war with the motherfuckers and avoid insulting guests. And however much of a bottom feeder it made him, he did not care about his "family" past maybe finally having an answer to a question that, quite frankly, he'd stopped asking a long time ago. He'd spent years as a child crying and wondering and feeling hopelessly lost. But it was hard to cling to something he did not remember—would likely never remember.

  Giving up, he turned his mind to distraction instead, which predictably led to one thought: Kamir.

  Whenever he stopped focusing on work or Lady Krista, it was Kamir's face that rose up. His shy smiles, the way he laughed like he didn't do it enough, his hesitant flirting and how pleased he'd looked when he realized it had worked. How surprised he'd seemed by the things they'd done in bed—and against the wall before Jader had finally been forced to leave the morning after their dinner.

  Usually that was where Jader's interest would have ended. Normally his interest waned after a night of fun. He was too busy as High Commander to have the time to devote to a relationship.

  But Kamir was sweet, and clearly had been neglected, mistreated, and overlooked his whole life. Jader wasn't going to be one more person on a long list who treated Kamir like a thing to be used. He was an ass, but he tried not to be completely reprehensible.

  So he'd put more effort into the evening than he usually would, and had hoped that making a show of it would do something to bolster Kamir and his standing in the High Court. Dirty Islander Jader might be, but nobody would refuse an invitation to dine with him, or be anything but jealous and curious of those who were.

  Still, that should have been the end of the matter. There was no reason whatsoever he should be thinking about doing it again. He was the last person anyone with sense would choose to get involved with anyway, given he never knew where he would be in the next five minutes. He'd watched Lesto fail over and over again in his time as High Commander.

  Thoughts of Benta came crashing back to the fore as he reached Allen's office. The antechamber was practically empty, which was unusual for that time of day. When he stepped into the office itself, Myra and a couple of undersecretaries were busily working, but instead of sitting at his own desk, Allen was over in the sitting area—with platters of food and carafes of wine. He should have known Allen would be prepared. Even being raised to be High King often left Sarrica in the dust when it came to Allen and running the empire.

  He bowed as he reached Allen. "Your Majesty."

  "High Commander," Allen said, looking amused at the formality. "Sit. Stop being stubborn."

  "I'm paid to be stubborn," Jader groused. "I'm not paid to make useless trips to Benta to spend time with people I don't care about."

  Allen chuckled and poured them both wine—a Zamar, by the tart smell and the fresh-spilled-blood color. "You would be surprised how accurately that describes most diplomatic trips." He handed Jader a cup and sat back in his chair holding another. "But for what it's worth, we don't send you lightly or simply to sit around holding stilted conversations through silver tongues."

  Faint curiosity tugged at Jader, but unhappiness still trumped it. "I'm fairly certain that's what all my conversations will be regardless."

  "I'm sending the finest silver tongue for Bentan in the empire with you, and recalling her from her current duties has been no easy task."

  Jader's mouth tipped up at one corner. "I thought you were the finest Bentan silver tongue in the empire."

  "I think being High Consort makes people think so," Allen replied with a small laugh. "She will be arriving at the end of the week, and right now it's looking as though you will be setting sail for Benta at the beginning of next month. The Bentans wanted to return sooner, but there was no way that could be managed alongside recalling Lady Seredia, securing a suitable secretary to accompany you, and all that you must do to ready the palace and army for your absence. Which reminds me: the imperial army is not allowed to enter Bentan territory. That was part of the peace negotiations. We've obtained special dispensation for you, but no one else can go. That being said, the mercenaries are not part of the army and were not part of the agreement. So you will be taking twenty-five mercenaries with you as escort and protection. Do you have a preference on which mercenary group will provide them?"

  Jader frowned, his brow drawing down. Unlike Lesto and a great many other soldiers, he'd never served with a mercenary group. Many people were fostered with mercenaries as youths, usually between the ages of five and ten, and raised within the chosen mercenary group. The practice made for excellent lifelong soldiers and forged ties of loyalty and familiarity that little other training could. Rene, Lesto's brother, ha
d been fostered at the age of five to his uncle's group before transferring when he was older to the Three-headed Dragons.

  But Jader had struggled enough just making his way through the imperial army. He hadn't been willing to deal with the mercenaries, most of which were known to treat Islanders poorly—even brutally.

  "Not Shadow Bell or Penance Gate." If he could get rid of Shadow Bell, he gladly would. As useful as they were, sometimes their methods were closer to crossing unforgivable lines than Jader preferred—but they hadn't yet done anything to give him grounds for disbanding them. Penance Gate was another matter: brutal in their methods, but not unreasonably so, and damned good at what they did. There was very little they could not accomplish, and there were many things they were better at than anyone else. But they were also terrifying to a lot of people, in their spiked armor and blood red tunics, so not an ideal group to act as his honor guard.

  Allen laughed. "Certainly not. I ask because I received a request this morning. Captain Tsarana tel Mendi was waiting for me before the offices even opened and petitioned handsomely to serve as your escort."

  "Shattered Wind asked to be my escort?" Jader had no idea what to say to that, or even to think.

  Mercenary groups varied greatly in size, depending on their purpose. Some, like Penance Gate and Shadow Bell, numbered in the thousands. Most, like Winter Dark and Howl of the End, numbered in the hundreds. Seven had less than a hundred members; of those, three had less than fifty. They were meant for covert matters, or problems in areas where a large force would do more harm than good.

  Shattered Wind had just thirty-eight members, and had only recently returned from being loaned out to an ally to help find and rescue some kidnapped nobles in the territory of a mutual enemy—Treya Mencee, specifically.

  Jader kept abreast of their activities the same he did all the mercenaries, but he had no special relationship with any of them. Why in the world would Shattered Wind step forward to volunteer themselves for something even Jader had only just heard about?

  "Rumors have been circling," Allen replied. "Captain tel Mendi approached me this morning on the hopes the rumors were true and no one had yet been picked for the duty. I told him the decision was yours and you'd be deciding this week, and his petition would be mentioned to you. He seemed eager and sincere. Tel Mendi is an old Rilien name. I believe they held a title once, but lost it when they decided to try assassinating a queen." Allen's mouth quirked. "I have no doubt Captain tel Mendi is hoping this will help to restore some of his family's honor, but I sense that was an ancillary perk. Something else motivates Captain tel Mendi and his soldiers, but I could not work out what."

  "I'll figure it out," Jader replied. Probably by asking tel Mendi directly, a method that rarely occurred to people like Allen. "I'll speak with him today, but barring some unpleasant revelation, they'll work as well as anyone else."

  Allen nodded. "Very well." He picked up a pen and stack of papers on the edge of the table and made a note. "Ostensibly you will be going to visit your lost family, but the truth of the matter is that von Terring has been closed off from most of the world for more than two decades. Lady Krista does what she can, but with her mother still alive and far from mentally incapable, there is not much she can do. If you can convince Lady von Terring to stop hiding, or to cede the title to her daughter, you will be doing Benta an enormous favor." Allen smiled his High Consort smile. "Which will put them in our debt."

  "Which is exactly where you like everyone," Jader said dryly. "Here I am struggling with an emotionally and mentally exhausting family reunion, and you want to use it wheedle something out of King Desmond."

  Spreading his hands in acknowledgement and apology, Allen said, "Essentially."

  Jader sighed. "I'm no politician, and this sounds like it requires someone of your acumen."

  "You are the long lost favorite child of a heartbroken old woman. You already have an edge I could never hope to equal. You'll be fine, and your silver tongue, Lady Seredia, finds life in Harkenesten relaxing, so she will have no trouble assisting you in negotiating the more delicate parts of your visit."

  "Relaxing?" Jader shuddered. "I'm officially terrified of this woman."

  "Her father is Tricemorien nobility and her mother ran away from Cartha. You should be."

  Jader laughed. "Sounds like the perfect ally to have in Benta while facing a stubborn duchess I don't remember, and all the other Bentan nobles I'll no doubt meet." And in that completely civilian setting he would be the only one without a title. Normally that didn't bother him, even if he was long past tired of the court's snide comments about his 'commoner' status, but the Bentans already thought less of him—and pitied him—for thinking of himself as an Islander. To be Islander, military, and commoner when he should be their noble, civilian son? Lady Krista was doing such a poor job of hiding her disappointment and offense, he could only imagine how much more scathing Her Grace was going to be.

  The more he thought about the trip, the more he hated it.

  Allen's mouth quirked. "All of which brings me to the last matter that needs addressing, but Sarrica wanted to be here for that, so it will have to wait." Jader's brows rose, but Allen only kept smiling in that I have a secret way of his and refilled their cups. "So we'll discuss another matter: I dislike not being well ahead of the court on gossip, Commander, so tell me true what is going on between you and Lord Kamir."

  "Nothing," Jader said. "I expected the rest of the court to stick their faces into my personal life, but not you. Since when do you care who I bed?"

  "Lord Kamir isn't the sort of person you typically choose," Allen said in that slow, thoughtful way of his, face giving nothing away but his eyes seeing more than anyone ever wanted. "That's why I wanted to know. If it was just one of your usual one-night affairs, he'll be left in peace. But if you are more serious about him, then once you're gone, I fear the High Court will come down on him—not to mention his family and that ex-husband of his."

  Jader stifled a sigh. "I thought spending time with me would help him, not hurt. Mother Ocean, this is why I shouldn't be trusted with politics and court games. I am sorry. I did not mean to bring him and his children further harm; I know he's already got plenty of that on his table. Is he all right? Are the children well?"

  "Yes, I believe so, though trouble continues to… what is that apt phrase you use so often? Circle like a shark that's tasted blood in the water?" Allen's eyes narrowed like he was recalling something unpleasant, and Jader recalled a snippet of gossip about how Theoren had drawn Allen's ire the previous day. He'd been curious, but too busy to ask for more details about the matter.

  "I'm assuming from your face that Master Theoren continues to charm his way through the High Court. What is he even doing here?"

  "Money," Allen replied. "Court gossip is quite brisk, but the truth was easy enough to uncover. He won't last much longer, especially once Sarrica finds out about his poor choice of words when we spoke briefly in the banquet hall the other day."

  Jader's brows shot up. "What in the world would a cretin like that have to say to you?"

  "He got over confident and implied in the course of a clumsy discussion of tax law that Sarrica married me solely for my pretty face. I ignored him, but he won't be that lucky should Sarrica find out." And though he tried, the one thing Allen was not good at hiding was how much he loved Sarrica and the fuss that Sarrica constantly made about him.

  It reminded Jader of how surprised Kamir had been over the slightest things—the long, elaborate dinner, the way Jader ate him out in bed later, even all the kisses had seemed to astonish Kamir. Just how in the Penance Realms had everyone else treated him that being treated well was a surprise?

  Allen's chuckles recalled him. "What thoughts pulled you away from me?"

  "Nothing," Jader said gruffly. "What were we discussing?"

  Allen's blue eyes gleamed, but he was polite enough not to press the matter. "Lord Kamir. If you are courting him your absence will leav
e him at the mercy of the court. I wanted to know if you wanted me to look out for him while you were gone. He has seldom crossed my path, and always at a distance, but he's always struck me as kind and sincere. His family is unpleasant, but they have a good lineage and impressive wealth. They've only held the Tesly title for a few generations, but the Norring family was wealthy and well-known in Tricemore long before they became nobility."

  "Most of their wealth is blood money," Jader said flatly. "I want nothing to do with his family. As to Lord Kamir himself…" He sighed and gave up. The fact he was thinking this hard about the matter was all the proof needed to say that Kamir was not as simple as a one-night affair. What he was, Jader didn't know, but all day Kamir had filled his thoughts, distracted him from the five hundred things he should have been focusing on. He'd made a production of their evening to spoil and help a sweet, lonely man, but had enjoyed the evening more than he could remember enjoying anything else for a long time. "I don't know. I enjoyed his company. I haven't had time or opportunity to ponder the matter further. I certainly am not considering marriage or courting. I would appreciate all the same if you'd keep watch over him. I don't want him hurt because I'm a fool who doesn't know how to play all these intricate games. I'd be in your debt, Majesty."

  Making a dismissive noise, Allen picked up a bit of pastry stuffed with cheese and spinach and bit into it. "You're my friend, or so I like to think, though we're not as close as you are to Sarrica and Lesto."

  Jader smiled. "Of course we're friends—even when you're being nosy and scheming."

  Allen grinned a little then and finished his pastry, chasing it with more wine. "Lord Kamir would be a good match for you."

  "I think you're getting ahead of yourself," Jader said. "I know you can't help it, but you could try to stay out of it."