Almost Doesn't Count

by Angela Winters

  “Jackson,” she said, pulling on all the nerve she had. “I have to tell you something.”

  “I know what you’re going to ask,” he said. “And, no, you can’t have another case yet. You need to focus one hundred percent back on—”

  “It’s not about that,” she said. “I made a mistake and—”

  “Oh my God, there you are!”

  One of the receptionists, Sierra, had just rushed around the corner out of breath. She had a terrified look on a face that looked flawless without a speck of makeup.

  “I’ve been trying to find you Ms. Haa—I mean, Ms. Carter.”

  “What’s wrong?” she asked. From the look on Sierra’s face, Billie wondered if Sherise had called the office frantically trying to reach her.

  “It’s your husband,” she said.

  “My ex-husband,” she corrected. “What does he want?”

  “The hospital called,” she said. “He’s been hurt.”

  16

  “First,” Sherise said after a short moment, “Cady is your daughter.”

  Standing only a few feet across the kitchen from her, he was just shaking his head, looking at her with disdain.

  “I’ve had the tests done,” she added. “I . . . Billie has the proof, but—”

  “Let me guess,” he said. “She knew, too. Both those girls knew while I’m walking around like an idiot thinking my wife loved me and my daughter was—”

  “Is,” she said. “Is yours. They just found out last week. I wanted to know before Jennifer had a chance to tell you.”

  “But it’s true,” he said. “You had an affair with her husband before you got pregnant. You thought Cady was his.”

  “Justin.” Sherise used the calmest voice she could find even though she was panicky inside. “I’m not making excuses for my behavior, but let’s not pretend I didn’t have a fight with your mistress today.”

  “Answer my fucking question!”

  She jumped at the tone of his voice. He rarely yelled that angrily at her.

  “Yes,” she answered quickly. “I thought she might be. I knew she wasn’t, but I thought she might be.”

  “That doesn’t make any fucking sense!” He slammed his fist on the kitchen counter behind him. “None of this makes any fucking sense!”

  “It was just once,” she explained. “I got caught up in something and I’m not making excuses, but . . .”

  “I’ve been trying to think about what was going on between us just before we found out you were pregnant.” He started pacing the around the kitchen table. “But I can’t think of anything. We were fine, as far as I knew.”

  “I know what you’re doing,” Sherise said. “You’re trying to excuse your affair by suggesting that we were having problems. That isn’t fair.”

  “This is different, Sherise.”

  “I was just a selfish whore,” she said, “but you had a reason. Is that what you’re going to say?”

  He lowered his head, his frustration clearly growing. “We aren’t going to get anywhere this way.”

  “No,” she said. “This is only going to work if I’m the bad guy. If I keep bringing up your cheating, well, that just isn’t fair. You want to play the victim.”

  “Fuck you, Sherise!” He rushed over to her, pointing his finger in her face. “What I did was just as wrong as you. I’m not denying that. But, shit, you kept the truth about Cady from me. That’s fucking worse!”

  “And I can’t tell you how sorry I am for that.” She reached out to touch the finger he had pointed at her, but he slapped her hand away. “Can we just not talk about Ryan or Jennifer right now and focus on—”

  “But it’s all connected!” He stepped away. “Isn’t it? You fucked him and she targets me to get back at you.”

  “You can’t blame me for that,” she said. “You never had to sleep with her. You made that choice. You decided I wasn’t interesting enough for you anymore.”

  “You fucking women and your games.” He pressed a hand against his forehead and looked up at the ceiling. “Cady . . . What if she wasn’t . . . Oh my God.”

  “She is,” Sherise said. “That’s all that matters.”

  He looked at her with a disgusted expression. “That’s what you’d like to think, isn’t it? That’s what you want this to be about. Well, Sherise, for once in your whole fucking selfish life, you don’t get to decide how things go.”

  “Justin.” She rushed over to him, pressing her hands against his chest. “Please, you have to forgive me. I am so sorry. I know I started this horrible lie, but I am begging you . . .”

  “Don’t bother.” He pushed her hands away and turned toward the door. “I’m leaving.”

  “You can’t leave me!” She started after him. “Justin!”

  She followed him through the living room.

  “Justin, stop!” Her voice held only half the desperation she was feeling right now.

  Was he really going to walk out on her, on their marriage?

  “Think about what you’re doing,” she pleaded. “I know you hate me right now, but you love me, too. I know you do. That’s why I wanted to fight for you!”

  “No, Sherise!” He reached the door and opened it.

  She couldn’t let this happen. She couldn’t just let him leave and walk out like this. Something told her if she did, she would never see him again.

  “What about Cady?” she yelled. “What do I tell her? That both her parents were unfaithful to each other, but she’s the one that has to pay?”

  She watched as he started to step outside, but stopped in the doorway. Her hand came to her heart as she waited anxiously. What was his next move? Was this over or was there a chance?

  “For her,” Sherise said. “For her family, I wanted to fight. I was willing to do anything. Why aren’t you?”

  He lowered his head, never turning around, and said, “I need time.”

  He slammed the door behind him and Sherise smiled with a relieved sigh. That hesitation, that one moment he stopped and paused and thought, was all he gave her. It was all she had. It would be all she needed.

  “Hello, Erica,” Jonah said as soon as he answered his phone. “Are you okay? Where did you go yesterday?”

  “I don’t like this, Jonah.”

  Not wanting to go to his office, Erica found a quiet, private corner of the break room to contact him as soon as she got into work that morning.

  “You don’t like what?” he asked.

  “You know every move I make,” she said. “You’re having someone spy on me and report back to you.”

  “Actually,” he said, “I came looking for you yesterday afternoon and Denise told me you mentioned an emergency and left. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

  “I’m fine,” she said, even though she was far from it.

  “So, what can I help you with?”

  “You can tell me why you lied to me about Terrell’s friendship with Reedy.”

  There was a long silence over the phone.

  “I know he didn’t tell you,” Jonah said. “So I assume you figured this out yourself. You’re a smart girl, Erica.”

  “Woman,” she corrected. “And you didn’t answer my question.”

  “I was trying to protect you.”

  “You were getting something out of it,” she said. “You hate Terrell and you—”

  “I don’t hate him,” Jonah said. “I just don’t think he’s right for you. You can see that now, can’t you?”

  “What were you getting out of it, Jonah?”

  “I made a deal with him.”

  She couldn’t believe this. “Terrell agreed to something, anything with you?”

  “I keep his relationship with Reedy out of anything I report to you and he agrees to encourage you to have a relationship with me.”

  She was disgusted. Was there one man on this earth worth trusting? “This is how you operate with everything in life, isn’t it?”

  “I’m a man that does
what he has to,” Jonah answered. “I don’t apologize for that.”

  “But you were willing to let me stay with Terrell, knowing what he’d done even though you’ve never wanted me with him?”

  “I knew that you would come to your senses eventually,” he said. “And after our relationship was stronger, I’m certain I would have steered you away from him. Either that, or he’d fuck up again. It’s who he is.”

  “He was on the straight and narrow for a while,” she argued.

  “Remember who you’re talking to?” Jonah asked. “I’m the man he wanted to blackmail less than a year ago.”

  “He’s not doing anything with Reedy anymore,” Erica said, as if it meant something. “It was just a slipup. He was upset over our breakup.”

  “Erica.” Jonah’s tone was condescending. “Still making excuses for him? Well, tell me, then. What is his excuse for introducing Reedy to Nate, knowing who Nate was? What is his excuse for bringing Reedy into the car wash so he would practically be working for him?”

  “Stop,” she said. “You don’t have to do this. I kicked him out. I’ll never forgive him for connecting Nate to that guy.”

  “He can be properly punished for that,” Jonah said. “Along with Reedy.”

  “I told you,” she insisted. “He’s not involved with Reedy anymore.”

  “He is,” Jonah said slowly, “if I say he is.”

  “No,” Erica said. “Jonah, please. Don’t ruin his life over this. There’s been enough damage.”

  “You disappoint me, Erica.”

  “I disappoint you?” She laughed. “You’re willing to frame him and ruin his life and I’m the disappointing one?”

  “I’ll make a deal with you.”

  “Jonah, please.”

  “Hear me out, okay? I will leave Terrell out of this, just like I’m leaving Nate out of it. I will do it for you, but you have to promise me you will never see him again.”

  “I told you I’ve already broken up with him.”

  “You’ve said that before, Erica. Six months later . . . I don’t want a repeat of that. I think it’s a fair deal.”

  “Only you would say that not framing someone made you fair.”

  She waited for a response, but heard nothing. She knew that Jonah was not a man to take lightly.

  “You’ll stay away from him, too?” she asked. “I mean it, Jonah. You won’t bother him at all.”

  “You stay away from him,” Jonah offered, “and so will I. We’ll do it together. Forever. No matter what.”

  Erica closed her eyes, feeling her heart ache. How had this become her life? She had cut Terrell out of her life and her heart, her brother’s life had fallen apart right under her nose, and she was making deals with the devil. Oh, and that devil was her father.

  “Fine,” she said softly before hanging up the phone.

  When Billie entered Porter’s hospital room, she saw him sitting up in his bed talking to a female doctor, predictably asking when he was going to get out of the hospital so he could go back to work. He had a hand in a cast just past his wrist, a bruise on his lips, and a gauze covering the left side of his forehead.

  When he saw Billie, he immediately got angry.

  “Where in the hell have you been?” he asked.

  She approached the bed. “I came as soon as I could. Are you okay?”

  “Hello,” the doctor said. “I’m Dr. Banks. You’re the wife?”

  “Ex-wife,” she corrected. “What happened here?”

  “I thought we were waiting for your wife?” Dr. Banks asked Porter.

  Porter looked at her, seeming a little embarrassed. “I might have called her that. I was upset at the time. Someone tried to kill me.”

  “What happened?” Billie asked again.

  Porter looked at the doctor. “Can you give us some privacy?”

  She nodded and left.

  “You happened,” Porter finally said.

  “What do you mean, Porter? And fuck off with the games. Tell me.”

  He cringed as he shifted in his bed a little bit. “I’m leaving my building to catch the metro when some guy hits me from behind and knocks me to the ground.”

  “You were mugged?”

  “That’s what I thought,” he answered. “So I offer the guy my wallet. He doesn’t want my fucking wallet. He kicks me in my ribs and tells me to stay the fuck away from you.”

  “What?” Billie gasped. “Me? Who was this?”

  “That’s what I wanted to ask you, Billie.” He held his hand up. “That asshole stomped on my hand. He broke it.”

  It took Billie a second to register this, but she realized suddenly that it had to be Ricky. Who else would be telling Porter to stay away from her? Robert? No, he hadn’t put up much protest when she’d told him that she didn’t want to see him again. But in her last encounter with Ricky, she’d made it clear to him that Porter was a problem for her. But she never thought he would do this.

  “Was it the same guy you saw me with outside my apartment?”

  He shook his head. “No, it was another guy. The cops got him. I got lucky. One was driving by only seconds after he ran away. They sped after him.”

  “Porter, I don’t know who would do this,” she said. “I’ve never asked anyone.”

  “You know a guy named Reedy?” he asked.

  Billie immediately knew where she’d heard that name last. “That’s . . . That’s the name of the guy I was trying to find out about . . . but that was for Erica. He’s gotten Nate involved with drugs.”

  “So why is he telling me to stay away from you?” Porter asked. “What do I have to do with this?”

  “Oh my God.” Billie realized what was going on. “It’s not related, Porter. He’s . . .”

  It was a small world, Billie thought. This was just too small. If Reedy was connected to Ricky, then that meant that Ricky was somehow involved in drugs, which answered so many lingering questions that she’d had but pretended to forget because she had feelings for him.

  “What’s going on, Billie?” Porter asked. “Why are you shaking your head?”

  “I have to go,” she said quickly. “I’m sorry, Porter. I’m glad they’ve caught him. You look like you’ll be fine.”

  “Billie!” Porter yelled after her as she started out.

  Billie swung around to look at him. She was distracted by her thoughts, but the look on Porter’s face got her attention. He was scared.

  “They got him,” she said. “He won’t hurt you again.”

  “That’s not it.” He gestured for her to come back to the bed. “You don’t understand.”

  She rushed back to his bed. “What don’t I understand?”

  “Tara,” he said. “He said that if I didn’t leave you alone, my daughter would be next.”

  Without knocking or ringing a doorbell, Billie stormed into Saturn House like a tornado of rage that belied her tiny frame.

  “Ricky!” she yelled throughout the house, heading straight through the foyer into the living room.

  She saw a few people sitting in the living room. One man was reading a book while a woman was on the floor playing a board game with a child.

  “Where is he?” she asked in a demanding voice. “Where is Ricky?”

  None of them said a word. They all looked too scared of her. The man, an elderly man of about seventy-five, pointed toward the formal dining room.

  “Ricky!”

  Ricky stepped out of the dining room just as Billie reached it. He was wearing a blue polo shirt and jeans, and wiping his hands in a kitchen towel. He looked utterly confused.

  “Billie, what the—”

  “How dare you?” She walked right up to him and pressed her index finger into his chest. “How dare you threaten my daughter!”

  “What are you . . . ?” Suddenly seeming to realize what she was talking about, he looked behind her at the people in the living room, all of them paying rapt attention.

  “Come with me,” he said, gra
bbing her by the arm.

  She jerked free of him. “Don’t touch me. I can walk on my own.”

  She followed him through the kitchen, into the hallway. He moved into a cramped spot underneath the stairs where the door to the basement was.

  “Keep your voice down,” he said.

  “Why?” she asked. “Don’t the people living here have a right to know who you are and what you do?”

  “Before you say something you’ll regret . . .”

  “I regret all of this, Ricky. I regret ever meeting you, ever being put on your case. And, oh my God, do I regret caring about you for even a second.”

  “I would never hurt that girl,” he said. “I don’t even know who she is.”

  “Then why did Reedy threaten her?” she asked. “He did that for you, attacking Porter. What were you thinking?”

  He stopped, looking at her for a moment as if to assess where she was emotionally. “I was doing this for us. You said he was the reason we can’t be together. He was making you miserable. It was just a little street justice.”

  “It was a crime,” she said. “And that lowlife drug dealer you sent to commit it confirms everything I thought about you.”

  “That I care about you?” he asked. “That’s why I did this. I just want us to be together.”

  “And because you’re a lowlife, this is the only way you know how to make that happen. Attack an innocent man and threaten a little girl.”

  He was shaking his head, clearly disappointed. “I can’t believe you don’t appreciate the lengths I’ve gone to for you.”

  “You’re a drug dealer, too, aren’t you?”

  His blinked, seeming offended for a second. “You’re my lawyer, Billie. You can’t tell anyone what I tell you.”

  “You think that’s going to protect you?”

  “I do what’s necessary to keep my shelter safe,” he said. “I don’t sell drugs, but I pay Reedy to keep drug dealers away from me.”

  “And to do odd jobs for you,” she said. “Like beating up lawyers.”

  “I won’t admit to anything,” he said. “Dammit, Billie. I thought you were down.”

  “I’m down,” she said, “but not that low.”

  “You’re still on my case,” he said. “I don’t want this to interfere with you—”