Almost Doesn't Count

by Angela Winters

  “I’m not on your case anymore,” she said. “It’s over. You’ve won that one, but you’ve got bigger legal problems to worry about.”

  He smiled. “You can’t say anything about this.”

  “I don’t have to,” she said. “Reedy is gonna say everything for me. He was caught, Ricky. I don’t know if you know that.”

  From the expression on his face, he hadn’t. His concern was growing.

  “I still have strong connections with the district attorney’s office,” she added. “Many of them still owe me a favor from old cases. I didn’t have to give them a reason why. All I had to do was call in a favor and ask them to offer Reedy a great deal if he talked. And from what I hear, he talked.”

  Just then the basement door burst open and hit Ricky in the head. He fell back against the wall as two small children ran out of the basement, laughing, in a world by themselves.

  “Dammit!” Ricky yelled as his hand went to his forehead.

  When he looked up again, Billie was gone.

  When Justin opened the door to his hotel room at The Mayflower, his expression was predictably annoyed.

  “Sherise,” he said. “I told you I needed time. What are you doing here?”

  She stood at the door, smiling kindly. “Why would you tell me you were here if you didn’t want me to come over?”

  “I told you,” he said. “It was only if something happened with Cady. An emergency. You never listen.”

  “Why aren’t you at work?” she asked. “Are you gonna let me in?”

  “No,” he said. “I’m not going to let you in. I’m working from home today.”

  “You’re not at home, baby.” She lifted up to look behind him into the room. “You’re in a cold hotel room and maybe not alone, which is why you don’t want me here.”

  “I’m alone.” He moved to block her view. “I don’t want anything to do with Jennifer.”

  “Now that you know she was using you,” Sherise said. “Before you—”

  The door to the room to the right of Justin’s opened and a woman dressed in a sharp red business suit stepped out. She made eye contact with Sherise and smiled.

  Sherise turned to Justin. “Shouldn’t we do this inside?”

  Justin looked at the woman, who gave them another glance as she passed by. He sighed, stepping aside as Sherise stepped in.

  “I brought you this.” She offered him a duffel bag with a few of his things.

  He took the bag as he closed the door behind her.

  “Sherise, what part of ‘I need time’ do you not understand?”

  Realizing that he intended to keep her in the foyer, she walked past him into the room. Looking around, she could see he’d been working. Papers were everywhere. They’d better not be separation papers.

  “The part where I don’t get to see my husband so we can work out our problems.”

  She sat down on the edge of the bed as he placed the bag next to her.

  “Please get off of there,” he said.

  Ignoring him, she unzipped the bag and reached in. She pulled out his iPad and turned it on.

  “I wanted to show you something,” she said, going straight to the app she was looking for. Pictures.

  She turned the iPad around so he could see one picture of their wedding, then another.

  “Stop it,” he said. “You think showing me a wedding slideshow is going to—”

  The next picture was of Cady. He was holding her and she was looking up at him with an adoring worshipping expression on her face. The next was of her smiling into the camera showing her only two teeth. There was drool running down her chin as she was trying to reach for the camera to snatch it away.

  Justin smiled.

  “I see your nose there,” she said.

  The next one was of Cady sleeping on her back in her crib.

  “Remember how your mother said you used to always slip one hand under your back like that when you slept?”

  “Stop it.” He grabbed the iPad from her and tossed it on the bed. “This is underhanded of you, Sherise.”

  “I’m just trying to tell you, I didn’t spend all this time wondering if Cady was yours and just hoping for the best.”

  “It doesn’t change what you did,” he said.

  “Nothing will change what I did,” she said. “Or what you did. But I’m willing to move past it and try to work this out. Why aren’t you?”

  “I didn’t say I wasn’t.” His voice was low and deep as if he was trying very hard to control his temper. “I just said I need time. Do you understand what the fuck happened here?”

  “I do,” she said. “I cheated on you because I was an insecure woman who thought she was stronger than she actually was. I never thought I needed to fight temptation because I knew I loved my husband. I think you did the same.

  “I know what I did was worse,” Sherise continued. “If that’s what you’re looking for me to say. I wasn’t part of a targeted seduction, and when I cheated, you weren’t denying me sex. We weren’t having problems.”

  “I don’t want to compare whose cheating was worse.” Justin sat down on the bed next to her. “Sherise, I just . . . Fuck, I don’t know. I’m so fucking angry at you and myself, and every time I think that Cady could have not been mine, I just can’t even think straight.”

  She reached over and placed her hand gently on his shoulder as he lowered his head.

  “So much has gone wrong, baby.” Her voice was tender, soft, and seductive. She hadn’t come here to go home empty-handed. “I lost my fire because I wasn’t working. You lost interest in me because I lost my fire.”

  “Trying to have this baby,” he added. “We’ve been forcing this. Going about it all wrong. I don’t know how this happened. I never went looking for her.”

  “She was looking for you.” Her hand went to his head. “Baby, I understand that you were weak. Can you understand that I was, too? I’m weaker than you.”

  He leaned away, but Sherise didn’t stop running her fingers gently over his head. He didn’t resist anymore.

  “This is fucked up,” he said. “You want to act like we just had a bad fight, but that’s not what this is. This is our marriage and it’s completely fucked up.”

  “That’s not true.” She slid closer to him on the bed. “Baby, I—”

  “Stop calling me that,” he said quickly.

  She paused for a second. “It’s going to take a lot of work and time to get us right again, but we are not fucked up. You, Cady, and me are a family. We all love each other. We all need each other.”

  He nodded and she leaned in to gently kiss his neck.

  “Can you think of a life without me in it?” she whispered. “Can you think of a life seeing Cady every other weekend? Can you think of sleeping in a bed I will never be in with you? Because I can’t, Justin. I refuse to believe that’s even possible.”

  She leaned in and kissed his neck again.

  “Stop,” he said quietly, even though he made no physical protest.

  Her free hand went to his thigh and rubbed it gently as her lips left searing kisses on his neck.

  “Sex won’t fix this,” he said.

  “But it will hold things together while we fix it,” she responded as she bit gently at his ear. “I need you, Justin. You’re my husband. I’m your wife. I know you need me.”

  She let out a quick gasp as his hand grabbed her wrist. His grip hurt, and when she looked into his eyes, she could see that was what he intended.

  He grabbed her by the back of her head, pulling her hair. Her head fell back and Sherise felt her entire body ignite like an inferno. No, she hadn’t intended to leave this hotel room empty-handed and she wasn’t going to.

  Erica was cautious as she entered her apartment that evening. She didn’t expect to see Terrell there, but she wouldn’t have been surprised. It broke her heart to come home to him not being there. She had gotten used to it for the six months they were apart, but even a few days of him being
back there had warmed her heart to the idea that they were together again. Now she would have to go back to being heartbroken, to feeling alone.

  Passing through the living room, she saw the television was on, but no one was in there. She glanced down the hallway and saw a light coming out from under Nate’s door, but decided she needed to get her thoughts together before going to talk to him.

  When she opened her bedroom door, she saw a figure sitting on her bed. She gasped in surprise, but couldn’t figure out who it was because it was dark. She reached for the light and was at first relieved to find that it wasn’t Terrell.

  “What are you doing in here?” she asked. “In the dark.”

  Nate’s head was lowered as he focused on his hands, which were placed in his lap as he sat on the edge of her bed, facing the bathroom.

  “I was waiting for you . . . I guess.”

  Erica dropped her bag on the bed and walked over to him. She reached down, and with her index finger to his chin, lifted his face up to her. His expression struck her with a force. He was scared to death.

  “What happened?” she asked.

  “You were right,” he said. “Everything went down, Sis. It was fucked up.”

  “What went down?”

  “We were just hanging out and the cops just busted in.”

  “Did they hurt you?” she asked quickly. “Did anyone touch you?”

  “That’s just it,” he said with a shrug. “Like they came in and—”

  “You were at Reedy’s place, weren’t you?”

  He nodded. “They came in and just jumped on everyone. I was on the sofa and one cop pulled a fucking gun on me.”

  Erica was getting angry but didn’t show it. “Well you’re hanging out with drug dealers, Nate. They get guns pulled on them a lot.”

  “Then the dude grabs me and drags me out of the place,” Nate continued. “I was like, ‘Get off me, man, get off me.’ Then, he just . . . he let me go.”

  “What did he say?”

  “Nothing at first.” Nate was shaking his head as if he didn’t even really believe what he was saying. “So I turned around and another cop came up to me and told me to get the fuck out of there.”

  “I hope you listened.”

  “Hell yeah, I listened.” He lowered his face into his hands. “That was so fucking scary.”

  Erica dropped down on the bed next to him. She placed her hand on his back and rubbed.

  “I’m glad you realize how serious this is.”

  “I was like, shit, my life is over. You warned me and I didn’t believe you.”

  “Do you believe me now?” she asked.

  He nodded, lifting his head up to look at her. “Are they gonna come for me later?”

  “No,” she said. “Not if you do what I say.”

  “I’ll do fucking anything, Erica.”

  “Then,” she said, “it’s going to be okay.”

  After Nate had gotten up and left, Erica grabbed her phone and called Jonah.

  “Did you know he would be there?” she asked.

  “I knew he might be there,” he answered.

  “They scared the shit out of him.”

  “That’s a good thing,” Jonah said. “First, he needed to have the shit scared out of him for effect. Second, you don’t want the other guys knowing he got off scot-free.”

  “I guess you’re right,” she said, thinking further of it. She hesitated before asking her next question. “Was that . . . was that raid . . . all that happened?”

  “You’re asking me if Terrell got in trouble. Erica, I always keep my end of the deals I make. I hope I can trust that you do as well.”

  “I intend to,” she said.

  “I want you to do better than intend,” he said. “I want you—”

  “I’ll stay away from him,” she said. “For good.”

  There was a short silence before Jonah spoke again. “We should have lunch soon. Would that be okay?”

  “I’ll think about it,” she answered slowly.

  Erica stepped out of the cab in front of the restaurant. She saw Sherise and Billie sitting at a table in the outside cafe. They waved to her. She started to walk toward them when she heard a man call her name. She knew that voice as well as she knew her own.

  Her heart stung when she saw Terrell rush over to her. He looked a mess in a gray Howard University T-shirt and jeans. It appeared as if he hadn’t been sleeping at all. He looked the way she felt every time she thought of him.

  “Can I talk to you?” he asked, his eyes pleading. “Please, baby, just for a minute.”

  “I’m not your baby,” she said coldly. She wanted to have compassion for him, but all she felt was anger. He ruined their dreams again. “And how did you find me here?”

  “Nate told me you were gonna be here.”

  She pointed her finger in his face angrily. “You stay the fuck away from him, Terrell. You’ve already done enough damage. Just stay away from him.”

  “I just want to talk to you.” He swallowed, seeming afraid to utter a word in case it would make her run away. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am about this.”

  “You should just be grateful,” she said.

  “For what?”

  “Jonah wanted to implicate you in all this,” she said. “You could be behind bars right now if he had his way.”

  Terrell shook his head with a knowing smile. “That son of a bitch. He’s the most underhanded motherfucker. This is his fault. This is all his fault.”

  “How can you say that?” Erica couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “You really don’t want to take the blame for this, do you?”

  “He’s the one who broke us up!”

  “No, Terrell, you broke us up!” She shook her head, waving her hand. “I won’t do this. Just go, and I hope for your next girlfriend’s sake you figure out a way to take responsibility for your own actions.”

  He blocked her way into the restaurant. “I know I need to get my act together. I know I have a lot of work to do, but I—”

  “What the fuck do you want?” Sherise asked as she quickly wedged herself in between the two of them.

  “I’m talking to Erica.” Terrell rolled his eyes. “This ain’t none of your business.”

  “It’s her business,” Billie said, joining them. “Erica is our business, and it was clear to us that she was trying to get away from you before you blocked her.”

  “Fuck—” Terrell caught himself before he said more.

  “Terrell,” Erica said. “Just go.”

  “Erica.” He tried looking around Sherise to make eye contact with Erica, but it wasn’t working. “Please. I’m begging you. You and I need to talk alone.”

  “Here’s the thing.” Erica took Sherise by the arm and pushed her aside so she was facing Terrell again.

  She looked into his eyes and mustered her strength.

  “You can get your act together,” she said. “I believe that you will. But nothing will change the fact that you let me down again. Nothing will change the fact that you let Nate get involved with someone like Reedy, knowing who he was. I will never forgive you for that. Even if you never make the same mistakes again, you’ve made enough with me to last a lifetime.”

  “Baby,” he pleaded.

  “Our time is over. It’s not coming back. I’m moving on. I’ve moved on. I wish you luck, but this”—she gestured to the space between the two of them—“this is done.”

  She didn’t wait for a response before turning and heading into the restaurant with Sherise and Billie right behind her.

  “Aren’t we an impressive group of sisters,” Sherise said as all three women sat down at their table.

  Despite tears that had begun to fall down her cheeks, Erica found it in herself to smile.

  “We are pitiful, aren’t we?” Billie asked. She rubbed Erica’s back comfortingly.

  “We’re single again,” Erica said to Billie and then turned to Sherise. “You’re . . . I don’t know wh
at you are.”

  “I’m married, bitch.” Sherise smiled even though it wasn’t entirely funny. “It’s a fucking mess, but I’m married.”

  “She seduced him a couple of days ago,” Billie said.

  “With what?” Erica asked.

  “Excuse me?” Sherise asked. “With all this right in front of you. No man can resist.”

  “Isn’t that the problem?” Erica asked, laughing.

  “She used pictures of Cady,” Billie added.

  With a smacking sound of her lips, Erica shook her head. “Did it work?”

  Sherise shrugged. “It’s a step forward. He’s not moving back home yet. I don’t think he will for a while, but he’s still my husband. He knows that.”

  “Sex is one thing,” Billie said. “Trust me, it doesn’t make a relationship.”

  “We aren’t gonna be a repeat of you and Porter,” Sherise said. “Besides, he came over this morning to spend some time with Cady.”

  “And you let him leave?” Erica asked. “I would have thought you’d lock all the windows and doors.”

  “Honestly,” Sherise said, “I even surprised myself with how subtle I was. I gave him all the space he needed. He even kissed me on the cheek before he left.”

  “You’re really going to give him the time he asked for?” Erica asked in disbelief.

  “Are you planning to tell him about Jonah?” Billie asked.

  “Fuck that,” Sherise said. “We’ve had enough honesty for a lifetime.”

  Sherise was perfectly fine with where she was. She felt confident she and Justin would work this out. Cady’s paternity was no longer a question. Jennifer’s face was all over the papers and the Internet, her reputation and political career ruined forever. She had survived a disaster. She wasn’t going to compound it with another one. Justin would trade her one affair for his, but two affairs? No, there would be no mention of any other indiscretions.

  “That’s not right,” Erica said.

  Sherise looked her up and down. “We can’t always do the right thing. Besides, what does it get you? Look at you.”

  “Like I said,” Billie added, “we’re all pitiful right now.”