As the Light Fades (ARC)

by Catherine West

  He sat in silence, his chest tight, emotions raging. It was a question he’d been asking for a while now. But he hadn’t done a thing about it. Hadn’t talked to Mia. Hadn’t made an appointment with the therapist in town his doctor had recommended.

  “Have you considered professional help?” Mom’s voice cut into his thoughts again. “Counseling?”

  “Of course I have. I’m not a complete idiot.” Matt ran his tongue across his dry lips. Blew out a breath and went to the sink where he filled a glass with water and drank deeply. Dad was right. He had to calm down. Slowly he walked back to the table and sat.

  “I’m sorry.” He worked to keep his voice level, his feelings in check. “But I’m finding it a little hard to wrap my head around this conversation. I’m not used to having parents who actually give a crap.”

  His mother sighed and wiped her eyes. “I’m not sure that’s entirely fair. I know we’ve had our differences, and I know you think the way we handled things with your sister was wrong—”

  “Wrong?” He scoffed. “That’s the understatement of the century! The day Rachel told you she was pregnant you decided her fate! You kicked her out of your home. There was no discussion. No leniency. One strike, you’re out. That’s how things work in this family. She was barely sixteen years old, Mom!”

  “We’re well aware, Matthew,” Dad growled. “But you don’t have all the facts.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  Mom shot his father a furtive glance. “You’re right, Matthew. The way we handled the situation with your sister was wrong. And we can’t change that. But what about our relationship with you? You pushed us away. You moved in with Patrick’s family once you graduated high school, you refused our financial help, and you rarely talked to us. For years. You have some responsibility in this.”

  “I was angry!” As if that explained it all. “What did you think would happen to Rachel? If it hadn’t been for Pat’s family, she would have ended up in a shelter! She was a kid and she made a mistake. She wasn’t ready to have a child. Would you have wanted her to have an abortion?”

  “Of course not. But she had other options. We begged her to consider adoption. Your father had arranged for her to go away, to a nice home out on the west coast. We thought it was settled, but then she changed her mind. Insisted on keeping the baby.”

  Matt blinked moisture and shoved down a lump in his throat. “She didn’t tell me that.”

  “I suspect there are many things your sister didn’t tell you,” Dad said quietly. “We couldn’t get her to see reason after that. We told her we didn’t approve, that she was doing the wrong thing. Things were said between us that shouldn’t have been. She packed her bags and left. We didn’t kick her out, as you’ve been led to believe. It was her choice.”

  “I tried to talk sense into her over those next few months,” Mom said. “You know I came to see her at the O’Donohues’, several times. You saw me.” She gave a shaky sigh. “But she refused to come home. Refused our help. And later, after Mia was born, when she started up with the drugs again . . . that was the end of it.”

  His father shook his head. “She soundly rejected the suggestion of rehab. You must remember that? It was almost like she was determined to destroy her life at that point.” Dad coughed, pushed fingers through his hair, and settled his gaze on Matthew. “We offered to take Mia. I was willing to send Rachel anywhere she wanted to go. There were any number of private schools we would have sent her to. She could have gone on to any college. She was bright you know, she could have gotten in anywhere, had she set her mind to it.”

  “You what?” Matt scrubbed his face, frantic for a breath. “You . . . were willing . . . to raise Mia? Really?” It was all too much. Too late. Yet, he knew they were telling the truth.

  His father heaved a sigh, studied the table, then looked up. “I believe it was at that point your sister told us to go to hell. To stay out of her life and never contact her again. Something to that effect.” Dad waved a hand. “So there you have it. The ugly truth. Like it or not, that’s what happened. Slightly different from the version you’ve been led to believe, I assume.”

  “All these years, why didn’t you say anything?” Matt could barely get his voice above a whisper. “Why didn’t you tell me what really happened?”

  “Because it was done and we didn’t see the point,” Dad barked. “And we didn’t want to sully your relationship with your sister. She needed you.”

  Needed him? Had Rachel ever really needed him? When Mia was born, Patrick’s parents had stepped in, helping her with the baby as much as they could. Rachel worked as a check-out girl in the nearby Stop ‘n’ Shop. Tried to take a few classes at night to complete her GED. Almost got it too. She started using again shortly after Mia’s first birthday.

  Matt sat with his head in his hands and took deep breaths. At last he raised his eyes to meet their worried faces. “It didn’t matter in the end.” He choked the words out. “I couldn’t help her.”

  Mom reached out to clasp his wrist. “You’re helping her now. You’re taking care of her daughter. And we want to help you. Can we at least try to make amends? Will you give us that chance?”

  Matt swallowed and rammed his fingers through his hair. “I’m not the one you need to be having this conversation with.”

  “What do you want from us?” Dad asked wearily. “We’ve told you our side. We’ve said we want to help. You. And Mia. Why is nothing ever good enough? Do you want us to leave? Go back to Boston? We can certainly do that.”

  “Be my guest,” Matt snarled. What was the use? Reconciliation after all this time was too ridiculous to pin any hope on. “I’ll drive you to the ferry.”

  “For heaven’s sake, you two.” Mom raised her hands. “This isn’t going to solve a thing. Now, Matthew, the ball is in your court. We do want to help. We’d love to stay longer, perhaps through the holidays, and pitch in around here. But if you’d prefer we left, well, we’ll abide by your wishes.”

  “That’d be a first,” he muttered, squeezing his eyes shut a moment. He was going to have a monster of a headache by the time this little chat was over. He looked at his mother and dealt with a sharp blow of regret. The tears in her eyes told him he’d gone too far. She never cried. Not in front of anyone. He could count the times on one hand.

  “We’re sorry,” she whispered, taking a deep breath. “I suppose it was silly to assume we could come over here and pick up like nothing ever happened. A second chance is clearly too much to ask for.”

  Got that right. Matt exhaled. His mother was the master of manipulation. And he was always the first to get sucked in. Which was precisely why he’d spent the better part of the last ten years avoiding his parents. And was that any way to live? Maybe they were sorry. Maybe this time she actually meant it.

  “You really want to stay?” He aimed the question at his father because he was easier to read. Dad didn’t hide behind carefully constructed words or body language.

  “If you will let us, yes.” Shadows sat beneath his eyes, and his jowl sagged a little. Matt noticed a few more gray hairs around his temple. Wondered whether it was possible for his father to finally loosen up a little and live a life that might make him happy. Because for all his acclaim and accolades and awards, Matt had never believed Harrison Stone to be a happy man.

  Matt stared at the scratch marks on the old oak table and struggled for words. “Why?” It was all he could say.

  “You see?” Dad huffed. “Stubborn. That’s what you are, boy. Stubborn as a mule.”

  “Really? Now where in the world would I get that from?”

  “Stop!” Mom glared at them. “Yes, we’ve made mistakes. Awful mistakes. With Rachel, and with you, Matthew. But we’ve nothing to hold us in Boston. We’ve got plenty of money, more than we need. Is it so unreasonable to think we might want to spend time with our family?”

  A harsh laugh escaped before he could stop it. “Um, yes.” Oh, he so needed to get out of
here. To end this farcical moment in time that would mean next to nothing by day’s end. “And what about the two of you?” he asked, some hesitation hitching in his throat. “It’s obvious you’re not exactly basking in matrimonial harmony. We don’t need any added tension around here.”

  Dad responded with a sigh, and Mom pinched her lips together. Their eyes met and she gave him a timid look. “Perhaps this would be a good place for us to work on that.” Matt wasn’t convinced of the sincerity of the suggestion, but it was better than nothing.

  “Perhaps you’re right, dear.” Dad placed a hand on the table, palm up. His mother slipped hers into it. And they smiled.

  “Okay, fine. You can stay.” He shook his head, already regretting his words. “But if this goes south and you being here makes things more difficult, you go. No arguing.”

  “Very well.” His father nodded somberly and Mom shrugged, looking a little put out. As if she would ever cause any trouble. “And would you please consider taking your money?” Dad pressed. “It’s just sitting there. You could pay off that loan. Save the rest for Mia if you want, but you don’t need to be working two jobs. Not when Mia clearly needs you at home. Surely you can see the sense in that?”

  Matt stared at his father a long moment. He could see the sense in it all right. If he stood on tiptoe and looked over the top of his pride. “I’ll think about it. I need to go shower.” He got to his feet, heard Mia clomping down the stairs. The next moment, she popped her head around the doorframe.

  “Can I go to Wyldewood this afternoon? They want me to watch the twins while they talk wedding stuff.”

  “Homework?” He prayed she hadn’t been eavesdropping on the entire conversation.

  “Done. Well, I have a chapter left to read, but I can do that while they’re napping.” Mia smiled sweetly. “You said I should get out of the house more.”

  “Fine. You can go.” He’d half a mind to ask if he could go too.

  “Cool. Can you drive me? Liz is already there. She said she’d come get me, but I figured you didn’t have anything to do. You could maybe go down on their beach if you wanted, to take pictures.”

  Mind reader. A little tension slipped away. “You’re good, you know that?” He strode to where she stood and pulled her in for a hug. She made a shrieking noise, but didn’t pull away. “I’ll drive you, but I gotta shower first.”

  “Yeah, you better. You stink.” Mia pushed him off and went to the fridge. “Any more bacon?”

  “I think we can rustle some up.” Dad was on his feet at once. Mom too, going for more coffee. At least it wasn’t wine.

  “Mia,” Dad said as he took out another package of bacon. “I was wondering; do you know how to play chess? Your great-grandfather had a wonderful board in the living room, and I’m just itching for a game.”

  Matt rolled his eyes. “Mia doesn’t play chess, and I’m sure she has no desire to learn.”

  “Actually, Uncle Matt, I do know how. Uncle Pat taught me when I was little. I haven’t played in a while, but I’m sure I can remember.” Her smug smile made his heart lurch a little. Dad’s chuckle ran around the room and tugged the knot in his stomach a little tighter.

  He was living in the Twilight Zone.

  “Knock yourselves out. I’ll be down in a bit.”

  twenty-one

  Liz sat cross-legged on the floor of David and Josslyn’s living-room on Sunday. She’d arrived around ten, and they’d been talking for two hours, trying to make plans, while the twins raced around, screaming like little banshees. She’d finally made the suggestion of calling Mia to see if she could come watch them for a bit so they could actually think in peace and quiet. She glanced at her watch. Mia should be here any minute. If not, she’d take the two little hellions upstairs and lock them in their room.

  “How many people do you think they’re planning on inviting, Lynnie?” Her younger sister had nearly knocked her over when she’d seen her yesterday. Liz had brushed off her enthusiasm, but was more relieved than she’d admit to have Lynette back safe and sound.

  Snuggled in the crook of Nick’s arm, her blond hair still a mass of curls and tangles, she wore a golden glow and a peaceful expression that said her time in Africa had been well spent. Her sister scrunched her nose at the question.

  “Hard to say for sure. I think they’re talking between fifty and sixty. I don’t know if they’ve gotten that far yet. And I’m so jet-lagged that really, anything they said went in one ear and out the other.”

  “I’m not sure we can blame that entirely on the jet-lag.” Liz tapped her finger against the side of her cheek and grinned as Lynette stuck out her tongue. She studied her laptop and added another line to the do-to list. “I’ll have to pin them down on numbers. Invitations need to go out ASAP so we know how many are coming. And where will people stay?” She shook her head, appalled all over again at the ludicrousness of the entire thing. “So let’s assume eighty people at the most? Hopefully less. Do you think we could have the living room space ready to set up tables, David? We’ll have to do things inside. I think it’d be too cold to use tents outdoors, even with heating.”

  “I went to an outside event last winter,” Nick said, his fingers trailing through Lynette’s hair. “The tents were warm, with a subfloor and everything. It was just like being indoors. I can make some inquiries.” Lynette beamed up at him and Nick leaned in for a kiss. Liz bit her tongue, tempted to tell them to get a room.

  “Wonderful. Tents – Nick.” She tapped over the keys again.

  “Oh, wait. I think that was in October.” Nick corrected himself with a chuckle. “Probably wouldn’t work at the end of December.”

  Liz shot him a look and raised her eyes heavenward. “Not helpful, Nick.” She frowned at the document she was working on. “No, there’s no way we can be outside. We don’t want everyone to freeze.” Her cell phone buzzed on the floor beside her and she glanced down. A chill raced through her as she saw Laurence’s number on the screen. What on earth?

  “Liz?” David’s voice pulled her gaze back up.

  “What?”

  “If we hire the extra crew like Gray suggested, I’m pretty sure we can have the living room ready. I’ll call some guys tomorrow.”

  “Okay.” Her phone buzzed again with a text message. Sweat slid down her spine and fear dried her throat. No, no, no. She couldn’t handle this. Not now.

  “Don’t look so worried,” Lynette said with a smile. “We’ll make it work.”

  “And if we can’t?” The twins made another noisy pass through, and Liz tamped her temper. “Okay. What about food? Do they want caterers?”

  “I can do the food.” Cecily charged into the room from whatever she’d been doing in the kitchen. She’d come to see Lynnie first thing this morning, but as usual, put herself to work. Liz wondered if the woman ever slept.

  “Ce-ce, you can’t. It’s too much,” Liz said. “Gray can pay for catering.”

  “That boy loves my cooking,” Cecily insisted, her eyes shining. “We could serve buffet style. I bet he’d love some barbequed ribs and chicken, baked beans . . .”

  “Sounds good to me.” David grinned and rubbed his stomach.

  Liz shook her head. Might as well stick a pig on a spit while they were at it. She wouldn’t suggest it. “I’ll talk to Gray and Tori about food.”

  Cecily put her hands on her hips with a triumphant smile. “I can get the church ladies to help. If that’s what Gray and Victoria want. It’ll save some money for sure. And my sister makes the best cakes on the island. I’ll give you her card.”

  “Fine. We’ll see.” Liz ducked as a teddy bear flew through the air, straight for her head. She snaked out an arm and grabbed Brandon as he raced past with a shriek. “Cut it out! Now!” Her nephew’s little face crumpled, and he burst into loud, startled tears.

  “Liz, seriously?” David got to his feet amidst Brandon’s screams. Bethie started crying too, and Josslyn picked up her daughter just as Mia appeared, her unc
le right behind her.

  “We knocked but nobody answered.”

  “I’m not surprised,” Liz huffed. “I can’t hear myself think in here.”

  “Chill out,” David growled, rocking back and forth with Brandon, who was still screaming.

  “Um . . .” Matthew cleared his throat and followed Mia into the room a little hesitantly.

  “Hey, Matt! Good to see you, man.” Nick got to his feet, greeted them, and introduced Lynette.

  Liz took the opportunity to scan her messages and wished she hadn’t. She looked up again and found Matthew glancing her way. A hesitant smile pulled his lips apart. “What time should I pick Mia up?”

  “Can we call you?” Josslyn handed Bethie to Mia, sounding completely frazzled. “Or someone can drop her home. Liz?”

  “Mm. Sure.” Five text messages. He wanted to meet. To talk. The thought made want to vomit.

  “I can come back.” Matthew patted a large black bag he had hoisted over one shoulder. “Actually, I was wondering if you’d mind if I walked the beach. Took some pictures.”

  “Oh, are you a photographer?” Lynette brightened and Liz groaned. She could see where this was going.

  Matthew shook his head. “Just a hobby.”

  “He’s really good,” Mia piped up. “He’s just being modest. He entered a show over the summer and won first place.”

  “Sweet.” Nick grinned. “Ever shot a wedding?”

  Lynette clapped her hands. “Yes! Perfect. What are you doing New Year’s Eve?”

  “Um . . .” Matthew’s brow furrowed as he shrugged, glancing at Liz again.

  “He’s busy,” Liz snapped. “I’m sure Gray will have his own—hey!” Brandon had been released to the floor again, found his teddy bear, and whacked her over the head with it. Liz squelched a yell. “Enough! David, can’t you . . .” She clamped her mouth shut.

  “Calm down.” David glared at her, moving his son away from Liz.

  Liz lifted her hands. “You’re spoiling them! We’re trying to have a conversation and they’re running around like little hooligans!” Brandon started howling again.