Give Me Wings

by Joy Redmond

  “I’d like that very much,” Rachel said, as she took Teddy’s hand. “Come on. We need to get this over with. I just hope my parents aren’t out of their minds with worry. I feel so badly for sneaking off, but—” She stopped herself when she saw Teddy’s eyes glowing as if they were hot coals.

  Carl’s car groaned like an old man as it climbed the steep hill to the Winstons' house. Teddy watched Rachel tense up. He felt sorry for her, but inside he was laughing, imagining the reaction from Eldon and Lula.

  They parked in front of the house and just as they got out of the car, Teddy glanced up as Eldon came busting out of the screen door with a shotgun braced against his shoulder. He heard Rachel gasp as if she were breathing her last, and she hid behind him. He walked up the three steps and stuck his chest against the gun barrel. “Are ya still gonna shoot me? Well, that would be fittin' since we just took our vows, ‘till death do us part’. You’ll be making a young widow outta yer daughter.”

  “What?” Eldon yelled. Then he lowered the gun to his side, his shoulders slumped, and he seemed to age ten years before Teddy’s eyes.

  “That’s right. She’s my wife.” He backed down the steps, took Rachel’s hand, then walked her up the three steps and shoved her left hand under Eldon’s nose, showing him the wedding band.

  “No,” Eldon said, and Teddy thought he was going to keel over. His first instinct was to grab him, but before he did, he heard Lula cry out. Then he heard a banging as if she were beating her head against the door frame.

  “Come on out, Lula and give yer son-in-law a big hug!” Teddy laughed.

  Rachel burst into tears, but managed to say, “Teddy, please. Don’t torture them. You go sit in the old chair under the elm and I’ll get them calmed down. Please!”

  In a tender voice, Teddy said, “I’ll do better than that, Rach. I’ll take my leave and I won’t upset them or you anymore.”

  “What? You’re going to just leave me?”

  “Yeah, I think it’s for the best.” He paused for a long moment, then said, “I’m going to spend my last night with my parents. Come Monday morning, I’ve got to catch my train to Louisville, then take a few more trains till I get to where I’ll board my ship.”

  “I can’t believe this. You can’t spend your last night with me?” She burst into tears again.

  Teddy’s heart hurt to see Rachel so distraught. He took her hand, led her across the front yard, sat down in the old chair, then pulled her onto his lap. “Rach, there ain’t no way I’m gonna stay in a house where people hate me, and I told ya I only had a week furlough when we met. My time is up. I have to return to duty and fulfil my military obligation. I’m goinꞌ to be trainin' for underwater demolition.” Teddy’s voice shut off for a long moment.

  “I’ll send you my APO address as soon as I get it. You can write me. But don’t expect too many letters from me. I don’t write all that good and I really won’t have time. You just remember that I love ya and I’ll be thinkinꞌ about ya until I hold ya in my arms again.”

  “I’ll write every day. You just write when you can. Your letters are all I’ve got to live for until you return to me.” Fresh tears sprung to Rachel’s eyes.

  Teddy stood and wrapped his arms around Rachel. “Since we’re married, is it okay if I kiss ya in front of yer parents? You know they’re watchinꞌ.”

  “You bet it is!” Rachel cried, as she clung to him and kissed him deeply.

  “I need to go, honey. I can’t take goodbyes and I can’t take seein' ya cry. So, I’m goin' to the car, and I ain’t gonna look back. Just turn yer head and don’t watch me drive away.”

  “I’ll pray for you, my sweet husband. I love you.”

  Teddy merely nodded, and softly said, “I love ya, too, and prayers may not do any good, but they sure won’t hurt.” With that, Teddy marched to the car, slid under the wheel, turned the car around and headed down the hill. He looked in the rearview mirror and saw Rachel waving until he was out of sight. I do love ya in my own way, Rachel. I just don’t know exactly what way that is. Love is a stranger to me.

  Chapter Four

  Nine months later, Lula helped Rachel deliver a son in the old farmhouse where she herself had given birth to two daughters with the help of a midwife. Tears streamed as Rachel held her newborn and said, “You have your daddy's coal-black hair and curls. It looks like you’re going to have his eyes too.”

  Lula smiled and stroked the baby’s face gently. “So, have you decided on a name?”

  Rachel smiled as she looked down at her son. “Yes, I’m going to name him Donald James. Donald is Father’s first name and James is his daddy’s first name. We’ll just call him Don. I’ve written letters to Teddy every day since he left, but I’ve only gotten a few letters back. He did say he was happy that we were expecting a baby, and he said he hoped it was a girl. I hope he’s not disappointed that we got a son.”

  “Don’t fret about it, Rachel. He’ll be happy with a son. Most men want sons, but that Teddy is different in every way. I’ll never understand why you married him. He’s a heathen and he talks like a hick with no education at all. But what’s done is done.”

  “Can we drop the subject, Mother? I love him, and if we pray hard enough for him, he’ll eventually come to know God. As for the way he talks, that’s how most people in this part of the country talk. He has an eighth grade education. He spells the way he talks and I think that’s why he doesn’t write often. After you and Father left Pennsylvania and came to Kentucky so many years ago, it seems like you’d be used to it.”

  “Some things a person just never gets used to, but we’ll see what time brings. Right now we’ll just enjoy this fine baby boy.”

  Don was nine months old when Teddy came home. Rachel was the happiest woman in the world when she saw her husband step down from the train. She ran to his open arms and his embrace sent shivers through her body. There had been times when she missed him more than she thought her heart could bear.

  After hugging and kissing Teddy, she said, “Come on, honey, I want you to meet your son.”

  Teddy wrapped his arm around Rachel’s waist as they walked inside the depot, where they saw Lula standing just inside the door, holding Don as Eldon stood by her side. No one said a word as Teddy took the baby into his arms. Teddy’s face was glowing—until Don started to scream.

  Rachel quickly took Don and patted his back, telling Teddy, “I’m sorry, honey. He’s scared of strangers, but he’ll get used to you soon.”

  “That ain’t much of a welcome home,” Teddy said sullenly, his smile now gone. “Let’s get outta here. I need a drink.”

  Eldon and Lula gave Teddy a cold stare as Rachel’s face turned red, but Teddy ignored them, picked up his duffle bag and headed for the front door. Once outside, he shielded his eyes from the sun and said, “Y'all go wait in the wagon. I’ll be back directly.”

  Just before he headed off, he heard Rachel say to her parents, “Please don’t start in. He’s just gotten home. Give him time to adjust. This can’t be easy for him, and I promise, we’ll be out of your house as soon as possible.”

  “Yeah, what she said!” Teddy called out, then briskly walked on to the liquor store two blocks up the street. I hope you bible-thumpin'-turds shit and fall back in it when I turn up my bottle on the way back to yer house.

  The next day, Teddy hitchhiked into Bon Harbor, where he used some of his discharge pay to rent them a place to live.

  The next day, Lula and Eldon loaded their wagon with old furniture, household items, and groceries, then helped Teddy and Rachel set up housekeeping. Teddy bid his in-laws goodbye, and thanked them for taking care of Rachel and Don in his absence. I was nice as I’m ever gonna be to 'em. I hope I never lay eyes on 'em again. But that’s not likely gonna happen, he thought as he watched Eldon slap the reins, then watched with pleasure as the wagon headed up the street.

  Three days later Teddy went to work at the local shipyard as an apprentice welder. His brother Carl al
so worked there as a welder. Carl gave his brother rides back and forth to work until Teddy had drawn his first two paychecks. Then Teddy made a down payment on a 1937 Model T Ford.

  Teddy and Rachel lived in the slum section of Bon Harbor, Kentucky. No streetlights, no front yards, and all the houses were in bad need of paint. Theirs was an L-shaped shack that seemed to remain standing by sheer will. The railroad tracks were only a few feet from the outhouse in the backyard. When a train rumbled past, the small building shook to its foundation, making it hard for Teddy to maintain his balance and hit the hole.

  Chapter Five

  November 1942

  Rachel strolled into the front room. She was weary, both physically and mentally. She rubbed the small of her aching back and blew a breath through pursed lips as she watched Teddy tip a pint to his lips. It was the same scene she witnessed every night since her husband had returned from the Navy, nine months ago.

  “I’m going to bed, Ted. Be sure to fill the stew pot on top of the potbelly stove with water.”

  “Yeah, yeah.” Teddy tipped his bottle, wiped his mouth on his sleeve, the ashes from a cigarette tumbling down the front of his shirt. “I tightened the clothesline in the kitchen and I done drawed three buckets of water from the well a while ago, so yer all set to go for tomorrow’s wash. Don is almost two. Seems to me he oughta be out of them diapers. When ya gonna train him to piss in a pot like a big boy?”

  “You could take him with you when you use the outhouse and that would help train him,” Rachel said.

  “Are ya nuts? That boy still screams every time I come close to 'im. He’s a big tittybaby!”

  Rachel placed her hands on her hips and said, “If you’d stop thumping him on the head every time he gets into something and speak a little kinder to him, maybe he wouldn’t scream when you’re around him. Did you ever think about that?”

  “I’m tryin' to toughen him up and make a man outta him. Yer makin' a cream pull, candy ass outta him,” Teddy answered, as he turned to the funnies in the local newspaper.

  Rachel sighed, turned, and headed into the bedroom, where a crib stood in the corner. She walked over and bent over it, then tucked the two blankets around her sleeping son. She eased her tired, swollen body onto the feather tick that covered the warped box-spring mattress. The cold of the bed penetrated her being. Shivering, she pulled the homemade quilts up under her chin and closed her eyes in prayer.

  Teddy poured water into the tall stew pot on top of the potbelly stove, then set the bucket on the floor, stumbling over the rocker. Hopping on one foot he swore, “Damn thing! It’s always in my way.”

  Hearing Teddy kick the rocker, Rachel sighed again. Why couldn’t he remember where the rocker was? Didn’t he fall over it almost every night?

  Teddy entered the bedroom, stripped off his clothes, crawled in beside Rachel, and snuggled up closely. The warmth of his body was comforting, and Rachel fell asleep with Teddy’s muscular arm across her distended belly.

  Early the next morning, while it was still dark outside, Rachel jolted awake, gasping for breath and pushing back the quilts. Her body was drenched with sweat. She swung her legs off the bed, feeling the cold floor on her feet, then bent over double as fluid gushed from between her legs.

  “Teddy, wake up!” she said, shaking his shoulder. Waking Teddy from a whiskey-induced sleep was like trying to rouse the dead. She shook him harder and yelled louder, “Teddy, wake up!”

  “What?” he mumbled, pushing her hand away.

  “The baby is coming—now!” Rachel said.

  “The baby? Now?” Teddy leaped up and groped his hands around the top of the nightstand, looking for a match. Then he dropped the globe of the coal oil lamp as he lit the wick. As he fumbled the globe back into place, the small flame dimly lit the room.

  Rachel was sitting on the side of the bed, sweating profusely. “Help me,” she whimpered.

  Teddy scrambled to put on his jeans, his hands trembling. “I’ll fetch Doc Clay. I’ll be right back,” he said, pulling a sweatshirt over his head. Static electricity sent sparks flying as the cotton shirt slid over his hair. Then he sat on the bed as he pulled on shoes, not bothering to put on socks.

  “I don’t think there’s enough time to get Doctor Clay.” Rachel moaned, grabbing Teddy’s hand and squeezing until her knuckles turned white.

  “Holy shit!” Teddy said, pulling his hand free. “Rachel, don’t do this to me. You hold it back. Cross your legs. Don’t let it out!” he said, frantically looking around for his Navy pea coat.

  Grabbing the coat off a chair, he hurried out of the bedroom and groped his way to the front door. He slipped on the coat as he raced toward the car. He slid behind the wheel, pulled the choke, stomped the gas pedal, and turned the key—but the motor wouldn’t turn over.

  “Not now, gawddangit!” he yelled, pounding the steering wheel. He tried again—but the result was the same. Nothing.

  He jumped from the car, his heartbeat resounding like thunder in his ears as he ran back into the house. He slid on the slick linoleum and banged his head against the jamb of the bedroom door. “I can’t start the car. It’s too damn cold. I’m gonna have to run to Doc’s house.”

  The sweat on Rachel’s anguished face glistened in the lamplight as she moaned in response. She was now lying against the headboard, her knees up, and as Teddy stripped off the pea coat and hurried to her side, he gasped when he saw the baby’s head coming out of the birth canal. Instinctively, he placed his left hand under the tiny head and cradled the baby’s body as it slipped free. A moment later, the baby was in his hands.

  “Hot diggidy damn!” Teddy said happily. “She just shot outta there like a greased pig!”

  “It’s a girl?” Rachel asked softly.

  Teddy’s excitement turned to panic as he said, “Yeah, but she ain’t cryin', and she’s turnin' blue. What’s wrong?”

  “Turn her upside-down and stroke her neck. She’s got mucus in her throat,” Rachel instructed.

  Teddy held his daughter by the heels and stroked her tiny neck, but she still didn’t make a sound. He placed the baby on the bed, opened the small mouth, inserted his right index finger, hooked a thick wad of mucus, and pulled it out. As he tilted the baby’s head, ready to scoop out more mucus, she suddenly let out a cry and began her flailing of arms and legs.

  “Man, what a set of pipes!” Teddy said happily, heaving a sigh of relief. “We’ve got us a little girl, honey.” Then, noticing the umbilical cord, he added, “Oh, I’ve gotta tie off the cord, but what I can use?” Looking around, he exclaimed, “My shoestrings!”

  As Teddy yanked the laces from his shoes, Rachel said, “Go dip them in the hot water on the stove. They need to be sterilized.”

  Teddy hurried into the front room, dipped the shoelaces into the stew pot, and ran back to the bedroom. He tied one lace an inch from where the umbilical cord was attached to the baby’s stomach and the other one an inch from the first one. Then he reached into his jeans, pulled out his pocketknife, and severed the cord with one quick slice.

  Cradling his new daughter carefully, he opened the bottom drawer of the dresser, took out a cotton receiving blanket, and wrapped his daughter in it. Rachel reached out as Teddy turned toward the bed, gently holding the tiny girl in his strong arms.

  As Rachel held their daughter, Teddy ran into the kitchen and grabbed a towel from the clothesline. He hurried back to Rachel, slid the towel under her bottom, and waited for the afterbirth to pass. As he waited, Teddy saw something very strange lying between Rachel’s legs. It was about two inches long, probably weighed an ounce, its skin was transparent, and it had tiny stubs where arms and legs would normally be.

  Wordlessly, he wrapped the thing in the towel, his hands trembling and his eyes darting from Rachel’s face back to the thing. Rachel was so engrossed with the new baby that she didn’t notice.

  When the afterbirth slid out, Teddy slipped the pillowcase off his pillow, tossed both the afterbirth and th
e thing inside, then hurried into the front room, opened the potbelly stove, and shoved the case and contents inside. As he shut the stove door, his thoughts were racing. That thing couldn’t have been human. It looked more like an alien. I hope my little girl doesn’t glow in the dark. Shit fire, Fuzzy!

  It was only then that Teddy noticed his hands were trembling, his shirt was soaked with sweat, and his stomach was churning as if it were threatening to empty its contents. He needed a shot of whiskey, but the bottle was empty. He rubbed his forehead as he stood and turned back toward the bedroom. Should I say anything to Rachel 'bout the alien thing and what I just done?

  As he walked back into the bedroom, he smiled when he saw Rachel holding their baby daughter in her loving arms. Rachel’s eyes were heavy, but her smile was angelic.

  Teddy glanced over at their son, blew a sigh of relief and said, “I’m sure glad Don slept through all the racket. His little sister sure put up a howl.”

  Rachel smiled as she, too, looked at Don and said, “Thank goodness he’s a sound sleeper. That would have scared him half to death.”

  Teddy blew out the lamp, eased himself into bed, and snuggled close to Rachel. He didn’t realize he was crying until he felt a tear slide down his face, tasting the salty drop as it ran into one corner of his mouth. He couldn’t remember ever crying in his life. Tough men didn’t cry. But the entire experience had been overwhelming. He drew a deep breath, thankful that everyone was fine.

  In the sweet darkness, he reached out and felt his daughter clutch his index finger. “Hello, little Carnikko,” he whispered, gently kissing his daughter’s forehead. “Sleep well, and try not to wake yer mama for a while, okay?”

  Rachel stirred from her exhausted slumber and said sleepily, “What did you say, Teddy?”