One Carefree Day

by Whitney Amazeen

  My phone vibrates with a text message. It’s Theo. Can Ash drop you off at the river? I have something for you.

  The river. The same place we realized we knew each other since childhood. Before his dad tried to hurt me, and we couldn’t see each other again.

  Until now.

  “Can you take me to the river?” I ask Ash, once my hair is free of its confines. “Theo wants me to meet him.”

  Her eyes widen. “But—” she breaks off, seeming to rethink her words. “Actually, never mind. Sure!”

  I frown at her but follow her out to the driveway. I get in the backseat and look out the window while she drives me. The sun is out, the month of May bringing hydrangeas and an assortment of other bright perennials to the gardens of nearly every house on my street. The ride doesn’t take long, and Ash parks next to Mitten Chip at the American River.

  “Should I wait here?” she asks.

  “No,” I say. “I’ll ride back with Theo, thanks.”

  “Okay.” She looks me over, a small smile forming on her lips before I go.

  Theo is waiting for me, leaning on a tree near the entrance of the trail that leads to the river. He’s wearing jeans and a white shirt, and his hair is a dark mass of waves. As soon as he looks at me, I feel the shock of his bright blue eyes slice through me. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it.

  “Hi.” I walk over to him. “What’s going on?”

  He gestures toward the trail. “Let’s go sit down by the water, little Willow.”

  My stomach tenses as I take in the tightness in his eyes. “Okay.”

  We walk along the trail leading to the river, the knee-high grass tickling my ankles. We find some large rocks to sit on far enough from the water to keep our feet dry.

  Theo turns to me. He’s silent for a long moment before he finally speaks. “I have to leave for London tomorrow.”

  My stomach does a flip. I stare at him, unable to form words, and shake my head slowly. “What do you mean?”

  “My dad.” Theo sighs. He watches the ripples in the water, the light on the surface reflecting in his eyes. “Apparently he’s going to pay me a visit.”

  I frown. “He’s bluffing. He won’t really come.”

  Theo’s lips thin. “But he could. And if he’s serious, I don’t want him anywhere near you. I’ve already told your mother what’s happening, and she agrees I should leave as soon as possible.”

  “But you can’t,” I choke. “The fashion show is next week, and the semester is almost over!” I don’t know why this is the first thing that comes to my mind, and I cringe at how ridiculous it sounds as I say it. The fashion show doesn’t matter. Not when Theo is being threatened by his dad. Not when it means he’ll have to leave tomorrow, back to London, and I might never see him again.

  Breathe. I gasp in a huff of air.

  Theo reaches into the pocket of his jeans. “I want you to come with me,” he tells me. He pulls out a white rectangle of paper. It’s a plane ticket. He hands it to me, and our gazes meet. “I already have a flat in Surrey. My dad has no idea. We could attend the London School of Beauty next semester together.”

  My throat tightens. There’s nothing but my own fear keeping me from saying yes, from going with him to England, from not having to say goodbye.

  But my fear is a powerful beast. One I have yet to tame. “I can’t,” I whisper. “Theo, I can’t.”

  Theo’s brow wrinkles. “Why not?”

  “I just can’t.” I stand up and face the water. Maybe if I stare at it long enough, Theo won’t have to leave. Someone will come forward and prove what a monster Rob is, and he’ll get arrested. His threats will cease. None of this will have to happen for one more week.

  But what will I do then?

  “Willow.” Theo stands up and turns me around to face him. His gaze is steady, even. “I love you.”

  Those three words. They fill my heart and break it at the same time. He has no idea what those words do to me. “You hardly know me, Theo,” I say, my voice barely louder than a whisper. I stare at the ground.

  “Rubbish.” Theo brings my face back to his, forcing me to meet his gaze. “I’ve known you all my life.”

  My eyes become moist. My heart is racing, too fast for my mind to keep up. I want to tell him he’s crazy. “Why?” I shake my head.

  “Why?” Theo laughs humorlessly. “Are you thick? You’re the girl who stood up for me when no one else had before, to my unfortunate excuse of a father. You have the bravest heart of anyone I know, though you’d like to think you’re a coward. You care about everything, especially the things that don’t matter to most people. You’re beautiful inside and out. You’re the only true mate I’ve ever had. Of course I love you.”

  My throat burns when I swallow. I can’t stop hope from rising up inside me, yet I feel the need to squash it down. “But I’m crazy. I have OCD. Doesn’t that bother you? I practically killed my last boyfriend.” I cringe at the stream of stupidity flowing from my mouth. My heart can’t believe what he’s saying is the truth, and I’m waiting for him to take it back. I need to remind him of all the reasons he shouldn’t love me. To double check that he knows them in case he needs to change his mind.

  “And yet here I am.” Theo wipes my face with his thumb. I didn’t realize I was crying. “I don’t give a damn what you think, or what anyone else does for that matter. You didn’t kill Daniel. Yes, you have OCD, but that’s part of you. It’s part of what makes you Willow. You’re not mad.”

  I sigh. “But it ruins my life and the lives of those around me. It controls me no matter how hard I try to fight it.”

  Theo frowns and tilts his head. “Willow, do you even know what bloody day it is?”

  “What do you mean?” I sniff.

  “You really have no idea.” Theo stares at me, astonished. “Here we are, Willow. At the American River, on a Friday. You went out with me on a Friday.”

  I blink at him, completely motionless. I recall the way Ash looked at me when I asked her to give me a ride here, as if she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Her small smile before I got out of the car, completely unaware. “What?” I check the date on my phone to see if he’s telling the truth, and he is. It’s Friday. I’m not home, and it’s Friday.

  My face feels numb. I don’t know how this very significant day of the week somehow escaped my notice. I don’t know how it wasn’t the first thing I thought of when Theo asked me to meet him here. But most of all, I don’t know how or why I’m not completely riddled with anxiety.

  There’s no panic. I don’t feel compelled to perform a ritual.

  I feel ... fine.

  My mouth splits into a grin so wide, I actually start to laugh. “How—what?” I say, not understanding the sensation I’m experiencing. “How am I okay with this right now?”

  Theo presses his lips together. “Because you’re getting used to the feeling of not reacting to a compulsion. And now you’ve conquered number four on your list.”

  My brows lift together. “I can’t believe it.”

  “You’d better.” Theo gives me a half smile. “I can’t tell you how proud I am, little Willow.”

  I stare at the plane ticket Theo bought me. “Can I think about this overnight?” I ask him. “Coming to Surrey with you, that is.”

  Theo searches my face. “Of course.” He kisses my forehead and we take the trail back to the parking lot where my car is waiting. We get inside, and I think again about today being Friday while I drive. I went out on a Friday.

  I went out on a Friday.

  And everything is okay.

  Twenty-Three

  As soon as we get to Theo’s house, I glance around, taking in the boxes housing some of his things. I had no idea he already started packing. It makes everything feel more real.

  His bed is still set up, so I sit on it. I glance around his room and briefly wonder when I started thinking of this place as Theo’s instead of my grandma’s. His clothes are strewn all over
the place, some of them hanging out of boxes, and others all over the floor.

  Theo gets a text message, and he nods at the screen. “I found someone who wants to buy my bike.”

  My eyes widen. “You’re selling it?”

  “Well, I can’t very well take it with me, love,” he says. “Apparently this person can meet right now. It’s probably a good idea, since I’m leaving tomorrow.” Theo glances around the house and swears. “And I’m still not packed.”

  I laugh. “Don’t worry. I’ll stay here and help you pack while you go sell your motorcycle.”

  Theo looks relieved. “Thank you, love.”

  “If they decide to buy it, let me know and I’ll come pick you up.”

  He kisses me before he leaves, and I’m left alone in his little house. I check my face in the mirror, cringing at my hair. It’s a mess after Ash worked on it, so I take a moment to braid it loosely, not needing a hair tie to secure it because of its texture.

  Someone knocks on the front door.

  Who on earth could that be?

  I swing it open, expecting to see Theo, possibly coming back to get something he forgot, but instead am greeted by a man who looks to be middle aged. He’s in decent shape, with graying dark hair and pale blue eyes. I don’t recognize him as someone I’ve met before, though there is something oddly familiar about his eyes. They’re a shade similar to Theo’s, but where his are warm and comforting, this man’s are the coldest I’ve seen in a while. The day has transformed into early night behind him, the lampposts illuminated and casting their poles into long shadows beneath them.

  I’m staring at the man, stupefied, and still unsure what to say. He speaks before I have a chance. “Do I have the wrong address?”

  “That ... depends,” I say, clearing my throat against my unease. “Who are you looking for?”

  “Does this house belong to Charlize Bates?” He asks slowly, as if I’m a child.

  I frown. “She’s not a Bates anymore.” This guy must have known my mom when she was still married to my dad, otherwise he would have used her maiden name, Abrahams.

  The man looks me over, as if determining whether I’m important or not. Something changes in his expression, only leaving me even more confused. “Are you her daughter?” he asks. “Willow?”

  My heart races. For some reason my stomach is on edge even though he’s given me no reason to be afraid. If this man is a friend of my mom’s, I should probably let him in, or call her to let her know he’s looking for her. “Yes,” I say quietly. “I’m Willow. And who are you?”

  The man smiles, but it’s anything but kind. “Now tell me something, Willow. How can it be that you don’t remember me, when I know exactly who you are?”

  I stare, completely at a loss for words. This man’s voice is so strange, wavering between sounding normal and sounding faintly accented, like he’s either trying to hide where he’s from, or is starting to take on the accent of a place he’s recently moved to. As I study him, a slow smile spreads across his face.

  And I suddenly remember exactly who he is.

  It’s been so long, I’m surprised at my own memory. I don’t say a word. And apparently I don’t have to.

  “That’s right,” he says, nodding. “It’s me. Rob Tate.”

  This man is Theo’s father.

  Twenty-Four

  See, the thing is,” Rob says. He eyes me up and down, like he’s taking in every detail of my appearance. “I recall you owing me an apology.” He nods, a good-natured smile on his face, and it gives me chills. Rob is wearing a burgundy button-down shirt and a pair of business slacks. He’s handsome now but must have been absolutely striking in his youth. Yet, there’s something inherently repulsive about him, as if he’s let his tendency for being a vile human being taint any appeal left in him.

  I force myself to meet his gaze. I will not let him see I’m afraid. I won’t let him catch onto any inkling of cowardice I have, especially since Theo isn’t here. From what I know of Rob, he has no qualms with violence. He beat Mildred so badly when she was pregnant that she lost her baby. And Theo’s never said so outright, but I have a gut feeling he too was a victim of his dad’s heavy hand. The thought of Rob hurting Theo makes me stand up straighter, anger flaring in my blood.

  “And why is that?” I snap. I let the venom I feel towards this man flow freely. If I’m lucky, it will poison him. “Because unlike everyone else you interact with, I refuse to take your shit?”

  Rob’s eyes harden, turning to ice within seconds. I feel like I’m standing on it, the thin ice of his eyes that’s about to crack, plunging me into the cold depths beneath the surface. “Careful.” His voice is low, dangerous. “You don’t want to talk to me like that.”

  “What are you even doing here?” I ask, wanting nothing more than for him to leave. I send a quick text to Theo without glancing at my phone, trying to hide the motion as well as I can. A single word and nothing more.

  Help.

  “I’m looking for my son. Perhaps you’ve seen him,” says Rob.

  “Sorry. He isn’t here. I’m not sure why you thought he would be.” I swallow, regretting sending that text and hoping to God Theo doesn’t come bursting in. Maybe if I can convince Rob he was never here, he’ll leave and look for him somewhere else. I try to slam the door in Rob’s face, but he catches the frame in his hand. He throws the front door wide open and steps inside the house.

  “Elizabeth already told me everything. She’d do anything for money. Even me,” Rob says between his teeth. “You lying little bitch.” He moves a step closer, and as badly as I want to, I don’t step back in response.

  “He was here,” I improvise, “but he left already. Last week, I think. I’m not sure where he went.”

  Before I even know it’s coming, Rob’s hand whips out and slaps my cheek with so much force, I stagger back. The flash of pain is belated but once it hits, my entire face is on fire. “His things are still here!” he shouts, making me jump. “There are pictures of him and my wife on the wall! Don’t you lie to me!” Rob grabs my wrists in each of his hands, forcing me back against the wall. My heart feels like it’s about to fail. I’m panting, unable to hide how much his blow hurt, or how much I’m trying to hold it together in front of him.

  “Leave me alone,” I say, my voice half a sob. “Fuck off, you disgusting prick.”

  Something inside Rob snaps, and part of me wonders if I’m the first person in his entire life to talk to him like this. He snarls at me—actually snarls. “You’ve always been such a little bitch,” he growls. “Never knowing your place. I should have shown it to you when you mouthed off to me in my own house. I would have, if your mother hadn’t stopped me. But now, you’re going to learn to respect me.” His voice is calm, deadly, as if holding back every ounce of anger he has toward everyone, only so he can release it on me at the right time.

  I spit in his face. “Burn in hell.”

  Rob throws me onto the ground and kicks me in the stomach.

  I can’t breathe.

  It feels like my lungs have burst.

  He takes both of my wrists in one of his hands, and my long, braided hair in the other, and drags me down the hall to Theo’s bedroom. I’m crying, sobbing, screaming for help, when he throws me on the bed and covers my mouth with one of his hands.

  No, no, no, no, no.

  Rob roughly begins to remove his belt, and for the moment, I’m five again, back in his horrendously wrong yellow bedroom.

  I gag against his hand and bite down on his finger as hard as I possibly can. He roars, pulling his hand away from my mouth for a split second, and I use that tiny window of time to scream as loud as I possibly can. I expect to feel his hand clamp back down hard on my mouth, but instead, Rob is ripped right off me.

  I hear the sound of flesh meeting bone, hard. I scramble up quickly to see two men in a heap on the floor. One of them is Theo, and his fist is pounding into Rob’s skull, hard and fast as lightning.

  I blin
k, unable to believe what I’m seeing, as Rob’s face starts bleeding and Theo’s blows don’t cease. Rather, they come harder and harder, aimed at Rob’s nose, his jaw, his gut, his throat. Rob is helpless beneath his son, clearly unprepared to be attacked at this moment. Theo is leaner than his dad, and taller. Despite Rob being thicker, his age and out-of-shape body are clearly against him.

  But if Theo doesn’t stop now, he’s going to kill his dad.

  And sick as the man is, I can’t let him do it.

  “Theo!” I scream, and he looks at me. The distraction costs him though, and Rob throws Theo off him and puts him in a chokehold.

  I scream when Rob tightens his arm around Theo’s neck, causing Theo to gasp for air and claw at his dad’s arm.

  My heart races. I grab the lamp off the table next to Theo’s bed and smash Rob over the head with it. Rob falls to the ground, allowing Theo to breathe.

  Theo grabs the lamp and smashes it against his dad’s face until blood stains the carpet.

  I wail and cover my eyes.

  Rob begins to lose consciousness, but Theo starts kicking his dad’s bloody, weakened body. It takes me a moment to react. “Theo.” My voice sounds as breathless as I feel. “Theo, stop!”

  Theo kicks his dad’s head in succession, each time sounding wetter and more sickening. I grab Theo’s arm and he stops instantly, broken from whatever murderous trance he’s in.

  I grab his face, forcing his eyes to meet mine, and he reaches for me, pulling me against him. I feel the flex of his hard muscles as he wraps his arms around me. His breathing is hitched and labored, and he holds me like this for the longest of moments.

  My sobs fill the room, and I press my mouth against Theo’s chest to mask them.

  I try to breathe. I untangle myself from Theo and sit down on the bed I was forced onto only moments ago. My hands won’t stop shaking. Theo holds them in his, steadying them, and takes a good look at me.

  “You’re hurt. Did he—”