Becoming His Collection

by Haley Monroe

  In his other hand is a white crop top with a pink and white stripped collar that ties together in the center with a giant pink bow. It looks like the female version of Daffy Ducks outfit. I close my eyes and blow out a breath. “Cute,” I wheeze. Jacob laughs loudly and I hear the hangers clank together. I open one eye to find him holding the two items in one big hand and a massive grin on his handsome face.

  “This’ll do.” I hate how fucking happy he looks over the ridiculous outfit. His confidently smug smile is so hot and makes my insides quiver and I hate that too. I remind myself about trying to behave and do as he wishes but it’s hard, so hard. I want to stomp my foot and demand we shop somewhere else. I want to cry that I’ll look silly in that goofy skirt and ugly ass top but I don’t. I bite my lip and follow him to the check out.

  He lays the items on the counter and pulls his wallet from his pocket. The older woman’s cheeks flush as she looks up to find Jacob waiting for her to ring up his purchase. It makes me smirk to think that his pretty face makes even a woman of her age to blush. “Oh, isn’t this lovely.” She coos, taking her time to pull each garment off their hangers with her wobbly fingers.

  “Yes, I think so too.” He agrees and looks over his shoulder at me. I look away and shift my feet to inspect into the glass case filled with abandoned jewelry. Everything looks like it could belong in my grandmother costume jewelry collection but one sparkly thing does catch my eye.

  “Oh, look!” I gasp before I can help myself. It’s a small silver locket in the shape of a book, on a delicate chain. In tiny script, on the front cover is inscribed “Our story”. I can’t explain why, but this piece speaks to me. Jacob leans over to look where my finger is pushed against the glass.

  “What do you see?” He whispers near my ear. His warm breath tickles over my neck, making me giggle.

  “That locket.” My head turns to face him and I find his eyes sparkling. “Isn’t it sweet?”

  “May we see the locket, please?” Jacob straightens up and asks the cashier.

  “Of course, hon.” She beams, dropping the clothing in her hand to use the key from around her neck to unlock the glass case. She reaches in and carefully lifts the locket. “The lady who dropped this piece off, said it was her great grandmothers.” She tells us as she hands it to Jacob. “It was a gift from her husband before he was sent off to war long ago. He promised that’d finish their story just as soon as he got back home, but sadly he never made it. Their pictures are still inside.” Her hand shakes a little as she points to the clasp on the side of the book. “Open it.” Her pale blue eyes find mine and I can feel how much she likes the piece as well.

  “Really?” I gush, falling in love with the story behind the tiny book. Jacob is careful as he opens the small novel and there inside are the smallest portraits I’ve ever seen. On the left side is an image of a sailor, he appears so young but firm. His handsome face is stern but his eyes are kind. On the right side is a beautiful young woman. She looks even younger than me but her smile is warm, I can tell she’s a person people would be drawn to naturally. The sepia colored photos are withered and worn from the years but the locket has kept them mostly intact. There’s a clear like film over each image, when I press my finger over the pictures, it feels like someone applied clear nail polish over them or something like that to keep the small pictures from falling out of the settings. “Oh, look how precious.” I swoon over the images, leaning into the counter and lifting Jacob’s hands to hold the locket closer to my face. “You can almost see how much they loved each other.” My gaze bounces over to Jacob and I wonder if someone were to place pictures of the two of us, side by side, would our connection be visible? “How could anyone give up such a special keepsake?” I ask almost heartbroken for the family who’s missing this heirloom.

  The older woman huffs a sigh, waves both her hands in the air and shakes her head as if she’s as upset as me. “Some people just don’t see the value in things anymore.” Her dreamy look is gone now and she picks up the tag to scan the barcode on the ugly skirt.

  “How sad.” Jacob slips the locket from his hand and into mine then touches under my chin with two of his fingers. He lifts my face just a fraction and I love the kindness in his gaze. He’s as moved by the story as the older lady and I am. My heart crawls up into my throat as he just looks at me for a long moment. “Would you like the locket, princess?” I nod against his fingers.

  “Yes, please,” I can feel the woman’s eyes upon us as I place my hand on Jacob’s chest and climb on my tiptoes to kiss his mouth. “Daddy.” I whisper the last word against his lips, so softly that our little snooper can’t hear. I drop back down to my feet and place the locket on the counter.

  “Awe, how nice.” She looks between the two of us with a goofy grin on her face. So many unspoken words seem to float around the three of us as she rings up the necklace. “You two are very cute together, it’s so easy to see how much you love each other.” I feel my eyes widen and a swarm of butterflies come to life in my belly. “Is the outfit for your daughter?” She’s looking right at me when she asks and I cough a little.

  “Um?” I shrug like I’m unsure of how to answer her simple question. Suddenly, I feel guilty and gross for the type of relationship we have. I can’t imagine the judgement that would rise up in her gaze if she knew what we do to each other behind closed doors. If she knew I call him Daddy when he spanks my ass and gets me off in public. “Yes.” I spit my answer at the same time as Jacob says,

  “No.”

  “Oh?” She tilts her head in confusion. Her forehead wrinkles and her mouth turns down. This is it. This is where she goes from “You are so in love” to “Oh, how disgusting.” My cheeks burn, not from arousal this time but from humiliation. I don’t want to explain that the outfit is for me or what our dynamic is. I mean I’m not embarrassed, am I? I don’t think I am but I can’t take the weight of her would be judgement. She’s too kind, too sweet to be tainted by what we do. My anxiety has me retreating.

  I know it’s irrational and blown out of proportion but I can’t stop it. The walls around me are closing in and I don’t know how to make them stop. I slide a little bit behind Jacob and let his big body shield be from her prying eyes. My fingers curl in the hem of the back of his shirt and I try to back myself out of the scary corner of my mind.

  He makes me happy and I like what we have going for us but it’s my first real D/s relationship. I’ve played at the club of course, but I’ve never done this with the same person for more than one night. I don’t really know what the protocol is for talking about it or if it’s even okay to talk about it with stranger. I close my eyes tightly and try to count my breaths. Slow, deep. Breathe in, breathe out.

  “We’re going to a costume party.” Jacob explains with ease.

  “Oh, how nice.” I peek around Jacob’s shoulder and find her face is back to normal, smoothed out by his explanation. I mentally curse myself for freaking out over nothing but the feelings still remain. She puts the outfit in a plastic bag and hands it to Jacob then places the locket in a small white box with black velvet inside. She closes it up and holds it out for me to take. I stretch my arm around Jacob’s side and accept the box.

  “Thank you.” I force another smile through the panic in my mind and hook my arm around Jacob’s elbow. “Have a good day.” I try to pull Jacob toward the door but he isn’t letting me escape so easily.

  “I’m sure we’ll see you again soon.” Jacob tells the lady and I roll my eyes as I pull on his arm. I just want to get out of here. I want to be back in his SUV where the world felt safe, where I was safe.

  “I’ll be looking forward to it!” She waves, as he finally allows me to gain some ground and we head for the door. I throw my hip into the door and stumble through to the outside. There’s a big pillar across from the sidewalk, holding up the store front and I throw my arms around it. Gulping in the fresh air, I hear the door shut behind Jacob. Now that she’s behind us, behind the door, I feel so
me sense of being settled. Not a lot, but I can breathe easier now.

  Jacob clears his throat behind me, but doesn’t reach out to comfort me or tell me how silly I’m being. He’s just standing there, waiting for something.

  “What?” I snap my gaze over to him.

  “I’ve told you before. I enjoy seeing you squirm but not like this.” He holds out his hand for me to take and I do. Our fingers wrap around each other’s and he guides me towards the SUV. “You went from so happy to so embarrassed, so quickly. What made you uncomfortable?”

  “I don’t know,” I shrug. Trying to explain it to him seems almost as bad as telling the sales lady.

  “I think you do, Hannah. I can’t help you work through it, if I don’t know what ‘it’ is. When you’re ready, try to put it into words.” His hand is solid around mine. His long fingers clutching mine help to suck out the last bit of my fears. The world opens up to me again and I try to say what was racing through my brain.

  “I was worried she’d think we were gross, if she knew what we are.”

  “And what are we, kitten?” He’s smiling down at me, the bag full of my nasty new clothing, swinging by his side. I look away from him and stare out over the parking lot.

  “I don’t know.” My head shakes. What are we? Freaks who enjoy the same kink? Weirdos who met online and meet once in a while to partake in bondage and rough fucking?

  “A couple?” He suggests when I stop speaking. A couple, after just a few months of knowing each other and less than a handful of physical dates? Is it fair to call us that?

  “Yeah?” I look back at him, my gaze focusing on his. Could we really be just another couple in a world full of couples?

  “Yeah.” He confirms and leans over to kiss my forehead. “We’re just a couple of adults who are enjoying each other’s company and exploring a relationship that makes us happy. What’s there to be embarrassed about?” I give it a moment for his words to sink. He’s right, of course. There isn’t anything to be embarrassed about. We’re consenting adults, what we do behind closed doors, and sometimes out in public, is our business. So what if other people can’t understand why we like the things we like or do the things we do? I like them and so does Daddy. That’s enough for me.

  “Nothing, I guess.” I smile brightly feeling so much better than I had moments ago. Actually, even some of my mixed up emotions from earlier have dissipated. My mind feels settled and my heart feels calm. I let go of his hand to hug my arms around his waist. “Thank you, Daddy.” My cheek is pressed to his chest and he hugs me back. We stand there in front of his vehicle for long minutes in the crisp air.

  He opens the passenger door for me and helps me climb up into my seat. Jacob tucks the shopping bag between my feet and places his hand back on my thigh. He squeezes my leg, just above my knee, “My pleasure, baby girl. Open communication, always.” My lips tug up into a smile. “That’s how we’ll get through this. I felt you breathing behind me when you started to panic, that’s good. That’s a great technique but let’s come up with something that clues me in a bit better. Maybe you could pinch the inside of my wrist, if your anxiety is taking you away?”

  “You want to know when I’m drowning?” My throat feels clogged. He’s trying to throw me a lifeline, a way to signal for help in the darkness. No one has ever cared to fight the currents with me and it’s overwhelming to know he’s for real. A real man with real concerns for me. My breathing grows fast and shallow as I try not to cry. Most of my friends and family brush off my anxiety as me being crazy or dramatic. Attention seeking, they call it. “Get over it.” They say, like I can help it.

  “Always.”

  2

  The mood in the SUV now is much lighter and I know it’s because I have a nice, Jacob shaped life preserver wrapped around my life. I lean over the console and press a few buttons on Jacob’s satellite radio until I find a ninety’s pop station. Britney Spears’s ‘Oop’s I Did It Again’ is playing. I bounce in my seat and hurry to twist the volume knob until she’s blaring through the speakers.

  At first, Jacob doesn’t seem amused but as I become more animated, waving my arms and singing along with the Pop Goddess, a smile pulls at his lips. I prepare to deepen my voice as the guy’s part at the end comes up but am shocked stupid when Jacob fists his right hand and holds it up to his mouth like a microphone and says his part.

  I hold my sides and giggle, trying to speak, ‘But I thought the old lady dropped it into the ocean at the end?”

  “Well baby,” Jacob croons right on cue. “I went down and got it for ya.” I’m laughing so hard I can’t get out the next line and Jacob’s laugh joins mine. I’m leaning against the door, panting for breath with tears of silly joy leaking down my cheeks. “God, you’re cute.” He chuckles and reaches for the knob to lower the volume as Britney bursts into the chorus. “But if you tell anyone that happened, I’ll never let you out of that chastity belt.”

  I motion with my fingers to cross my heart and then hold them up in scout’s honor, my other hand swiping my tears away. “Promise!” He shifts the SUV into park and I look around to see where we are. A dry cleaners?

  “Grab your bag please, kitten.” He says before getting out of the car. I grab the bag and follow suit, joining him at the door to the dry cleaners. He takes the bag from me and kisses the top of my head. “This should just take a minute and we’ll get a light dinner while they’re cleaning it up for us.” I nod, happy the goofy outfit will at least be thoroughly cleaned before I have to strut around in it. I stay by his side as the owner of the dry cleaning shop welcomes him.

  He removes the items from the plastic bag and lays them out for the cleaner to inspect. This time, I feel no embarrassment over the sight of the childish outfit in my size and tangle my fingers around the hem of Jacob’s tee shirt just to have something to do. They discuss a time frame for when we can pick up my freshly cleaned, no longer stinky clothes and then shake hands.

  “Are you hungry?” Jacob asks as we walk out of the shop. Instead of leading me back to the car, he puts his arm around my shoulder and hugs me to his side. We walk slowly down the sidewalk over to a restaurant that shares a parking lot with the dry cleaners.

  “We had a big breakfast and that sandwich.” I avoid using the word ‘no’ and keep my gaze down on our feet.

  “Maybe just a salad then?” He suggests and I make a small agreeing sound. I’ll try. The restaurant is a quaint little sandwich and pizza place, as we wait to be seated, I feel the need to use the bathroom rise up. I rub my knees together and try to think of anything else. There’s no way I can pee in this belt and then stomach eating but how else can I get out of it. I can’t have him unlock me in the middle of the restaurant or have him come with me to the women’s bathroom. Would Jacob give me the keys to unlock myself?

  Once we are seated and have ordered drinks, I lean on the table and motion for Jacob to come closer. He matches my stance and rubs his nose against mine. “What is it, kitten?”

  “I have to go potty.” I whisper. He wiggles his eyebrows at me and grins giving my already mixed up belly more butterflies to set flight and tickle my insides.

  “Whatever shall we do?” He whispers back, a devilish gleam in his eyes.

  “You could give me the keys and trust me to lock myself back up?” I suggest hopefully with my head nodding like he’s already agreed.

  “I could, but that’s no fun.” He leans back away from me and slides himself out of the booth. “Come on.” He holds out his hand and I grip it then let him tug me out of my side as well.

  “What are we doing?” I whisper yell as he guides me around the tables of other diners.

  “Taking my little girl to the potty.” He gives me a wink over his shoulder and my tummy flips around. My hand squeezes around his fingers tighter. I don’t know what he’s thinking, but I’m feeling nervous and excited and scared all at the same time. Plus, I have to pee super bad now and the pressure in my lower stomach is heavy.

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nbsp; We hurry down a small hallway in the back of the restaurant and I see three doors. Men’s, women’s and family placards are on each of the doors and Jacob pushes open the door to the family bathroom. He ushers me inside and looks back before he shuts the door and locks it. “I’ve been waiting for this.” He squats down in front of me and pushes up the shirt I’m wearing as a dress. He unlocks each lock quickly and shimmy’s the garment off of me. “Hurry up, princess. I have something for you once you’re done.”

  “I can’t go with you in here!” He gives me a lopsided look and stands up.

  “Why can’t you?”

  “It’s,” I shrug with my dress still lifted in my hands and my pussy on display. “Weird?” He actually rolls his eyes at me and turns to face the wall.

  “You have thirty seconds until I turn around.” I jump at his words and hover my ass over the public toilet. Jacob is still talking but I can’t listen. I’m counting by tens in my head to relax my body and finally am able to pee. I’m thankful that the restaurant has flushable wipes available for mothers who change their babies and toddlers in here, right next to the toilet. I use one wipe to clean up and then another just to make sure. Just as I kick my foot up to flush, I hear Jacob clear his throat and turn around to face me. “Were you listening?”

  I push the soap dispenser and wash my hands in the burning hot water while shaking my head. “Nope. I had to focus!” The brown paper towels are scratchy against my hands and soak up the water all too quickly while still leaving my hands drenched. “What were you saying?” I ball up the useless towel and pretend to toss it like a free throw. It bounces around the rim of the trash can before dropping in. “Score!” I cheer.

  “Oh, nothing much.” He squats before me again and I expect him to hold out the chastity belt for me to climb into but instead he reaches into his pocket with one hand and grabs a handful of my dress with the other. He pulls me even closer to him by the bunch of fabric fisted in his hand. “Spread your legs.” He commands and I obey with nervous thrills racing in my belly.