Becoming His Collection

by Haley Monroe

  I flip down the visor in front of me and look at myself in the small mirror. “Where have you been?” I ask the blue eyed girl looking back at me. She’s someone I haven’t seen in so long and I’m so thankful to Jacob for helping me find her. My smile is genuine as I gaze at myself and I feel it. I feel the lightness of what my life has become in the past few weeks.

  I feel better about my body, I feel less anxious about things. I’m still a work in progress, obviously, with a long way to go, but every step forward makes a big difference. I reached out to a practical stranger, asking her to join me in a surprise threesome with my boyfriend! I mean that’s crazy! The scared, anxious girl I was two and a half months ago never would have had the balls to take that chance. I think about the possible ways Steph could have reacted and the rejection could have been devastating to who I used to be.

  I see myself, Hannah Moore. The girl before I let ridiculous body image issues grab ahold of me, the girl who laughed easily and loved people with everything she had. It’s funny, I can’t even remember when I first lost myself. How long have I been a shell of myself and didn’t even know it? Ugh, tears prick at the back of my eyes. Are they happy tears or tears of sadness? I don’t know.

  I watch the tears well up in my eyes and trickle over my eyelids when I blink. They make an inky trail of eyeliner as they fall. My lip wobbles and my nose flares as I pull in a shaky breath. Who have I been for the last five, six, even seven years of my life? Because I definitely have been me, the real me.

  What started as a slow and easy cry has turned into suffocated gasps of sobs. My whole body shakes as I lean forward against the steering wheel and cry. I cry, long and hard. Until I have no more tears to cry and my nose is all stuffy. I cry until I feel like the intruder who’s invaded my body for so long has been washed away.

  When I get brave enough to look back into the mirror, I laugh. The kind of crazy person laugh that feels so refreshing to let go of. Whoever I was, whoever I am, it doesn’t matter. Not really, not anymore. I have a man who loves me and wants me to love myself. That’s the only thing in the whole fucking world that matters and maybe I do love myself, maybe I can love myself the way he does.

  I pull my phone back out of my purse and text Jacob.

  Thank you for helping me find myself again. It’s not perfect, but it’s better.

  I don’t wait for a reply or fiddle with my phone. Instead, I pull the car back on to the road and find my way home. Feeling like I must have been on autopilot when I drove up here, I have to wrack my brain to figure out which roads to take to get back home. That’s another bonus to living somewhere your whole life. It makes it hard to really get lost. After a few U-turns, things become recognizable and I’m on the right track again. It’s been a long emotional day and I’m ready for a bubble bath and a nap.

  My little blue house comes into view and for the first time in a long time, I don’t see a rundown shack in the shittiest part of town. I see a two bedroom home that I pay for myself. I see a small lawn covered in fallen leaves that I’ll rake up, on my own, when the time is right. I feel pride for the place I’ve taken care of by myself for the last two years since I moved out of my parent’s home.

  It isn’t a castle like Jacob’s mansion, but it is my castle and I’m its queen. I kick at the leaves when I get out of the car and can’t fight the desire to lay out on the dead grass. The leaves are thickest under the oak trees at the corner of the lot, almost making a natural pile just right for jumping in. I leave my coffee and purse on the hood of my car and skip across the yellow grass to the tree line where I throw myself into the foliage.

  The leaves catch my fall with a crispy sigh that makes me laugh. They smell of the earth and of new things to come. I pretend I’m making a snow angle in the leaves and then close my eyes to throw the leaves above my head. They rain down on me, fluttering back to the ground on a breeze that’s come out of nowhere. Life is good.

  “Are you okay?” A raspy male voice calls to me from the side of the road where the mailboxes for my house and the four around me stand. I sit up, startled by the sound.

  “Um, yup.” I push my hair back from my face and look toward the voice. Its owner is a man I’ve never seen before. He’s tall with soft blonde hair and big eyes. I can’t tell their color from here but his lashes make thick, dark lines around his eyes. I climb up onto my feet and brush the dead leaves from my shoulders and pants. “Just, you know.” I shrug feeling silly. “Playing in the leaves.”

  “Do you want company?” He asks suggestively and something in my belly feels wrong. I shake my head and smooth my hands over my hair again as he places a cigarette between his lips and cups it with one hand. He’s staring me down when the lighter flicks to life and burns the end of his smoke. I watch his nose flare as he inhales.

  “No, no thanks. I was just finishing up anyways.” My thumb hitches towards the house. “I have things to get to inside.”

  “Awh, a shame.” He jokes while walking to meet me half way across the lawn with his hand outstretched. “I’m Samuel, I just moved into the brown house.” One of his hands grips mine and the other points to the house two doors door. The smell of burning tobacco and all of the chemicals he’s currently inhaling, assault my senses. My nose wrinkles up and I shake my head a bit trying to get rid of the stench I know won’t go away until he does.

  “Welcome to the neighborhood.” I shake his hand and try to let go, but he holds on to me tightly. “I’m Hannah,” I look from his face down to our hands and pull away a little be harder. He chuckles before he lets go of my fingers and pulls the cigarette from his lips.

  “Hannah. What a beautiful name. Do you have dinner plans, Hannah? You could come over and share a pizza with me on top of moving boxes.” He steps even closer and I back up. He’s pretty, but feels dangerous. Samuel has sharp cheekbones and a wicked jawline. Baby blue. His eyes are an intense baby blue, but nowhere near as intense as Jacob’s. I can always feel kindness in Jacob’s eyes. No matter his mood, but this stranger is different. I can’t see any kindness behind his eyes even if his offer appears to be kind.

  “Oh, thanks for the offer, but I can’t.” I stumble back a few more steps, trying to get closer to my car to grab my things then dash into my house and away from this man. Yet, every step I take, he follows.

  “Why?” His head tilts and I notice a smattering of freckles over his nose and cheeks. I search for a reason. Why does he even need a reason? I don’t know him, he doesn’t know me. It’d be weird for me to just go over to a stranger’s house.

  “I have plans with a friend, sorry.” I lie.

  “I see,” he lifts his chin and eyes me suspiciously. “Another time then.” It doesn’t sound like a question, sounds more of a statement or a demand.

  “See you around.” I give a half wave and hurry over to my car to grab my things then dart for the house. I unlock the door and shut it quickly, locking it back up. When I pull the sheer white curtain to the side, peeking out of the window like a scared little girl, he’s still standing in my yard. Looking right at me! I drop the curtain and plop down to the floor. Fucking creepy.

  3

  Thursday and Friday, I really put an effort into being present at work. I plaster a smile on my face that actually feels genuine and don’t complain when my boss asks me to go over inventory. Instead, I scan each tag with gusto, not missing a single article of clothing. My attitude adjustment seems to effect the clients too. They are easier to deal with and I find it kind of fun to help them find the perfect outfit.

  Being involved instead of moping around really helps the hours at work pass rather quickly. I’m so exhausted when I get home that sleep finds me easily and lasts all night. I haven’t seen any more of my creepy new neighbor and for that I’m super thankful. Something about him just felt so off, so weird and ugh, straight up gives me the heebie jeebies

  I’m still in bed on Saturday morning when my phone signals an incoming video call. I roll on my side and check the call
er before answering. My heart races when I read Jacob’s name blinking across the shattered screen. I ruffle a hand through my messy hair, trying to fluff it up or make it at least look sexy not sloppy and accept the call.

  Jacob’s sexy face appears in my hand and I thank God I live in a time where this is possible. His has a bit of a beard, not much really just more scruff than I’ve seen on his jaw before. It makes him look darker, rougher somehow and my insides get all tangled up. “There’s my girl.” He smiles into the camera and I feel my cheek flush.

  “Good morning, Daddy.” I lick my dry lips and hope I’m pulling off some kind of ‘just woke up/beautiful with no makeup’ look and not some ‘God, girl go take a shower you look hideous’ thing.

  “How’s Daddy’s princess this morning?”

  “Ready for you to be home.”

  “Me too. I’m headed towards the airport now.”

  “You aren’t driving are you?” I try to identify his surroundings to figure out where he is in the car.

  “No, kitten. I’m trying to tie up some last minute details. I got a driver.” Knowing he’s not behind the wheel and there’s no danger of me causing a distraction that would lead to a crash has me leaning back into the pillows behind me and purposely letting the comforter slip below my chest. His eyes narrow and I blink innocently at him like I hadn’t noticed my exposed breasts.

  “What time do you land again?” I ask as my free hand moves up over the edge of the comforter to cup my left tit. I squeeze my breast until my back arches and my eye lids flutter from the feeling. My pale, pink nipples harden under my touch and Jacob clears his throat.

  “Not soon enough. Hold the phone, higher. I want to see more of you.” I pull the phone back, lifting it further away from me and watch the small square at the top, right hand corner. It shows me what Jacob’s seeing and I turn my upper body slightly to make my waist appear thinner.

  My fingers pinch and pluck at the hardened nub that’s my nipple, each tug makes heat stir in my pussy. I gaze up at the phone with what I hope is a ‘fuck me’ expression and push my tit up while lowering my chin. My tongue lolls out and the wet tip teases around my nipple while he watches.

  “Suck it.” His voice is lower, huskier and I love it. I stretch my neck to suck my nipple into my mouth. “Hard. Don’t stop till there is a pretty, purple, fucking hickie covering that sweet little peak.” I grin and tilt my head.

  “Can’t the driver hear you?” His eyebrow lifts and he mimics my head position.

  “Do you think I give a flying fuck who hears me, kitten? Come on now. You know me better than that, don’t you?”

  “Well, I guess but.”

  “Nope. No more talking.” He shakes his head and points at me through the screen. “Do it. Now.” My lips open to surround my nipple. I suck my tender flesh as he demands and it makes my clit tighten like there’s a string connecting the two points, my nipple and my clit. “Good. Use your tongue. If it’s not dark purple when you’re finished, I’ll spank your pretty ass before I show you how to do it properly.”

  My cheeks hollow out as I suck on my skin. My tongue flicks across the tip of my nipple and it’s becoming hard to hold the phone above me. My arm shakes a little and I look up at the screen with wide eyes. Jacob’s gaze is hot, his eyes focused only on me and the task he’s given me. “Times up. Let me see how you’ve done.” His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows and I imagine how hard he must be, sitting in the back of a strangers car, directing me to suck on my tit.

  I pull my mouth off with a wet pop and look down to examine my breast. My areolas are always a soft pink and are small compared to the size of my breast but not now. My nipple is rock hard and the color around it is a deep red, blotchy kind of purple. “What do you think?” I ask coyly. My finger traces over the drool that’s making my nipple shiny in the morning light. “Good enough to save my ass from a spanking?”

  “Push your shoulders together and show me both breasts to compare.” His mouth is tight as me speaks and I can see his nose flaring as he brings the phone closer to his face as if it will help him see me better.

  I tuck my shoulders together and lay flat on my back, trying my best to push my tits together with one hand. The nipple I sucked on looks abused compared to the soft, rosey pink of my other breast. “Mmm, very well done, kitten. Leave the other for me to color when I see you tonight.”

  “If it pleases you, Daddy.” I tease.

  “It will, also, you aren’t allowed to come until I get home. Not until it’s my hands bringing you to orgasm. Understand?” I pout my lips and draw my eyebrows together.

  “I hate this game.” I reply, ignoring his question.

  “No, you don’t.” He smiles. “You’d be bored of me if it wasn’t for these little games we play.” The man has a point.

  “You’re right. I don’t really hate these games, but I do want to get off. I’ve been so horny without you and now that you’ve teased me like this. Well, it’s just not fair.” I kick off the bedcovers and lower the phone between my thighs. My legs open wide and I hear Jacob growl as I rub my hand up and down my pretty pussy lips. “Can you see, Daddy?” I add a bit of phone sex operator tone to my voice as I push my bare pussy lips apart with my index and ring fingers. Slowly, I allow the tip of my middle finger to dip into my wet hole. “Can you see how shiny and slippery, I am for you?”

  “No, I can’t see.” He licks his lips and shifts in the seat. I can see more of the window now as he adjusts himself. “I fucking wish I could. Let me hear it instead. Fuck your pretty pussy for me and let me hear it squelch.” My eyes drift closed when my finger sinks between my lower lips. It’s shallow but feels delicious. I pump my finger in and out quickly. “Two fingers, baby.” He grunts.

  I slide my index finger into my body alongside my middle finger. I can get deeper this way and I feel my body growing wetter and wetter as I give it what it wants. I moan loudly and feel my toes curling in my sheets. I move my fingers like Jacob does and my knees start to shake. I can hear my pussy making slick, sucking and slurping sounds. It sounds so loud to me, so hot, so dirty. I hope he can hear it too. “Daddy,” I gasp. “Oh, fuck Daddy. I want to come.”

  “Don’t, you dare!” He growls in a demanding whisper and the denial makes me that much wetter. Something clicks in my mind, something that makes me want to do exactly what I’m not allowed to do. My back bows and its hell to hold back this overwhelming need to come.

  “I’m close.” I hiss through gritted teeth. My pussy walls are closing up around my fingers, hugging them tightly as I draw closer and closer to the explosion I know this orgasm will be.

  “Stop, Hannah.” It’s hard to make my fingers stop moving but I do it. I still have them stuffed deep inside of me but I don’t move them. One deep breath and then another helps me to regain control. My thighs have stopped shivering, but my cunt is protesting. She’s so angry that we were right there, so close and it was taken away. I let out a low whimpered whine that makes Jacob chuckle. “Good girl. Take them out.” I slam my head back into the pillow as I remove my fingers from deep within myself. “Suck them clean, we don’t let pussy juice go to waste, do we?”

  I lift the phone’s camera back to my face, not bothering to hide my disappointment and slide my fingers between my lips. My tongue wraps around my tiny digits and I savor the tangy taste of my own pussy. “Mmm,” My head shakes as I pull my fingers free from between my lips. “No, Daddy. We don’t.”

  “I’m at the airport now, kitten. I’ll text you when I change flights. Go shower, get dressed and don’t touch that perfect fucking cunt.”

  “Yes, Sir.” I smirk, wondering if he’d know whether I’d disobey or not. “Have a safe trip, I’ll see you this evening.”

  “Yes, you will baby girl. Daddy loves you.”

  4

  I consider being bad, I really do, but knowing how much better my orgasm will be when delivered by Jacob’s talented hands, helps me to hold off. I behaved like a good little gi
rl. I shower quickly and work efficiently to put a French braid in my hair, it’s going to be a busy day and I want my hair completely out of my face. I dress in comfortable pair of leggings and a burgundy sweater that’s too big, it hangs off one shoulder and makes me feel sexy while still being comfortable.

  A small duffel bag that normally hides under my bed is the perfect bag to pack goodies in for tonight. Jacob has enough toys at the castle so I know I don’t need any of those, but I throw in almost every piece of lingerie that I own. I have this sweet vision of Steph and I, wearing matching bits of nothing when Jacob catches us in the act. I also pack my toothbrush and a set of clothes for Sunday. No more makeshift dresses out of his business shirts.

  My tummy rumbles and my first thought is to ignore it, but I can’t remember the last time I put food in my mouth. I meander into the kitchen to drop a piece of bread into the toaster and wait for it to spring back up. I slather it with all natural peanut butter then tuck the bottom half of my toast into a paper towel.

  I take a bit and look around the dull kitchen as I chew. There aren’t any plants or photos on the walls. No pictures of me or of my family on the fridge. It almost looks like no one lives here, save for the pile of shoes that have gathered in the corner next to the back door, where I usually kick them off.

  I have to fix this situation before it begins to depress me. I snatch my purse off the counter and bite the toast between my teeth to lock the door. When I turn around I smack right into a wall. A wall I wasn’t expecting to be outside my front door. A wall of man. “Fw-uck!” I cuss around my toast, biting too hard as I yell and it drops to the ground.

  “Hi neighbor.” Samuel grins down at me. He’s much taller than I remember and I back away until my ass hits the kitchen door.