The Boyfriend Arrangement: A Fake Marriage Romance

by Lara Swann

  I take a step in that direction, and he frowns.

  “Aw, c’mon, Cassie. I was really hoping to talk to you - you know, I’m moving to LA in a few months and I thought it would be great to get to know you…” He says, and I’m uncomfortably reminded of my mother’s pressure yet again as I turn back towards him.

  How is he still interested in this? What the fuck is he doing?

  I don’t believe for a second he wants to be friends, not with the things he’s said and the way he’s looking at me…

  Before I can work out how to respond, Josh appears beside me, his arm around my shoulder and pulling my body safely into his, so I’m facing Matthew instead of standing right beside him.

  It’s surprisingly possessive, but it’s such a relief that I melt into him, making me want nothing more than to turn and bury my head in his shoulder. My arm goes around his waist instead, and I squeeze him close, my smile reappearing.

  “Hello.” Josh says, slightly abruptly, holding his hand out to Matthew. “I’m Josh - Cassie’s boyfriend.”

  “Matthew.” Matthew responds, similarly abrupt, pumping his hand once and glancing back at me.

  “So,” Josh starts again, and I can almost feel the heat in his expression as he gives Matthew a meaningful glance, his voice deceptively friendly. “Are you another of Cassie’s relatives? I’m afraid I don’t know everyone just yet…”

  “No, I’m an old family friend, actually - Adelaide invited me to spend a couple of days here.” Matthew says, similarly not-quite-friendly as I try and get over the ‘couple of days’ comment. “Cassie and I knew each other in college.”

  He shifts closer to me as I stare at him in disbelief. He’s actually saying that. Despite what I had just said about not even remembering who he was.

  “Wow, college…such a long time ago.” Josh repeats. “Strange that Cassie’s never mentioned you.”

  Josh raises an eyebrow at me and I try not to laugh. The typical male posturing - and the way Josh is deliberately playing it up - would usually have me rolling my eyes, but I’m actually kind of enjoying it.

  “Yeah…it’s been a while.” I agree, not going quite so far as repeating that I can’t remember Matthew at all - despite starting to feel like he might deserve it.

  “So you guys were catching up on old times?” Josh asks.

  “Something like that.” I mutter.

  “Any fun stories I should know about?” He grins, winking comically at Matthew, who just blinks.

  “No, not really.” I shrug, trying to make my disinterest obvious.

  Matthew keeps looking at me, like he’s expecting me to do something - or at least take a more active part in this conversation - but I’m more than happy to let Josh take over.

  I clearly wasn’t being obvious enough to get Matthew off my back, so if Josh can do it for me…that makes a nice change from how these things usually go. I might as well take advantage of having my boyfriend here.

  “Well, I’m moving to LA in the summer - so maybe we’ll have the chance to make some fun memories then.” Matthew finally says, a strange mixture of suggestive and defensive, as he works out I’m not going to jump in with anything else. “Adelaide certainly thought so - she thought Cassie could give me some advice on living there, you know, before I move.”

  I don’t know why the fuck he keeps talking about my mother - like her name makes a difference or something. Unless they’ve become far more friendly than the casual invite suggests.

  “Oh, really?” Josh’s voice lowers, and I swear it feels dangerous for a moment, before he continues in an overly-enthusiastic tone. “Well, I’m living in LA too, I’d be more than happy to help you out…”

  Without waiting for a response, he launches into a description of the best neighborhoods to live in, common places to avoid, where you can get the best value for your money - which is almost nowhere - in an overload of information that makes me zone out.

  I’m pretty sure it’s having the same effect on Matthew, which is fine by me, especially as it has the advantage of completely shutting him up and turning the conversation away from me.

  Instead I just enjoy the way we’re standing together, my head leaning against his shoulder and our arms around each other. It’s coupley as hell, but as far as I’m concerned that’s exactly what Matthew - and my family - need to see right now. And the unexpectedly protective vibe I’m getting from Josh is making me weirdly happy.

  I never thought my Mom would go to this extreme - or that the guy she’d pick would completely ignore the fact I have a boyfriend - but having Josh here almost makes it okay anyway.

  “…I’m sorry, baby, am I boring you?” I blink as I realize that was directed at me.

  I glance between the two of them and see that he’s definitely boring Matthew, then smile dumbly and shake my head.

  I’m pretty sure he’s giving me a generous opportunity to escape, but right now I’m appreciating the shield he’s providing from whatever my family - or, more specifically, my Mom - might come up with next.

  “No, of course not.” I look at Matthew again, putting a hand on Josh’s chest in support and privately mourning the book I left lying on my sun lounger earlier. “Property is a shared passion of ours.”

  I feel Josh’s chest vibrate under my hand, even though he keeps a straight face, nodding along eagerly and continuing his spiel.

  We’ve literally never talked about it before.

  He kisses the side of my head, tucking my hair behind my ear and smiling back at Matthew. “Oh yes, we could talk about it for hours. You’re asking the right people about this, I tell you.”

  He ignores the fact Matthew hasn’t asked a thing about where he should be renting in LA, and now has a scarcely concealed look of frustration on his face.

  It takes another twenty minutes, and several attempted interruptions, before Matthew finally has enough and awkwardly excuses himself - just as I’m starting to seriously reconsider deciding to stick around.

  This shit is tedious.

  After he’s gone, Josh and I look at each other and last all of ten seconds before bursting into laughter.

  He pulls me closer and I step easily into his embrace, resting my head on his chest and sighing deeply.

  “What a dick.” Josh mutters.

  I look up at him and shake my head.

  “You’re the one that just spent an hour talking about LA’s rental market.” I point out.

  He snorts again. “Yeah, pity I only knew about ten minutes’ worth of material…I do hope he doesn’t take all of that too seriously…”

  “I’m sure he won’t remember any of it at all.” I reassure him, and he flicks my ear, making me try and twist my head away.

  “I preferred it when you weren’t doing that, you know.” I scowl at him, to be met with another grin.

  “Too bad, baby.” His eyes sparkle at me, and I grab at his hand before he can do it again.

  “I hate you calling me that, too.” I add.

  “I know.” He says lightly, wrapping his arm around my shoulder and steering us away from the pool area. “He was a dick though.”

  “Yeah, he was.” I agree, shaking my head with a sigh. “Thanks for coming along to save me.”

  “Anytime, Caz.” He kisses my forehead again, even though there’s no one around to see.

  “I really didn’t think my Mom would do that. Not with you here.” I say, partly just talking to distract myself from some of the silly feelings that want my attention.

  “Yeah. I guess it’d be wrong to say she’s a dick too, huh?” He asks, light amusement on his face, though I wonder whether maybe he’s a little more serious than he seems.

  I laugh and shift closer to him, shaking my head. “I better not answer that one.”

  “So, d’you want to show me some of this place that’s maybe, ah…away from your family for a bit?” He asks with a knowing smile.

  “Definitely.” I answer decisively, looking around at the direction we�
��re wandering aimlessly in and making an effort to direct us away from the pool area that everyone’s gathered in.

  “Perfect.” He says, then leans in and adds. “We can pretend we snuck away to have sex.”

  I laugh again, looking up and meeting the amusement dancing in his eyes, his hair slightly curled from the pool earlier and bouncing over his brow. Handsome as fuck and - for this week only - conveniently possessive fake boyfriend.

  Perfect indeed. I just need to get a grip on the strange-as-fuck images that pop into my head when he says that.

  Like us actually having sex.

  * * *

  “So, that’s one day down, hmm?” Josh says as we get back to our room for the night. “I think it went well.”

  Well.

  I think back to the day of just about answering my family’s questions, Josh announcing he didn’t want children to Maria and then being ambushed by my Mom’s latest set-up…

  At least after Matthew, Josh hadn’t left me for the rest of the day - hovering protectively by my side in some possessive macho display to try and piss everyone off further. Not really necessary, but I rather appreciated the results anyway.

  And with Mom insisting that Matthew was seated next to us at dinner, I’d actually avoided most of the argument that had broken out between Beth and Anne - and any further questions about Josh and I. Instead, we’d spent the whole of it becoming more and more obnoxiously infatuated with each other, just to irritate Matthew - and, ideally, my mother.

  It had almost become a game - who could touch the other the most, pay them the most ridiculous compliments, talk up the others’ deliberately minor achievements - and it had been unintentionally hilarious to do all the things I wouldn’t ever dream of in a real relationship.

  “Yeah, it’s gone well.” I give Josh a sidelong smirk as I shrug off the jacket I’d put on for dinner. “If you consider irritating the hell out of everyone a good thing.”

  “Which, last I checked, you do - that was the job, baby.” He grins at me, stretching and letting his shirt ride up to reveal a hint of the rock-hard abs beneath. They catch my eyes for a moment, and I shake my head at his automatic attention-gathering gestures. The ones that seem to be having more of an effect on me than I’d like right about now.

  “You really need to stop calling me that, Josh - and cut the whole macho douchebag act, hmm? Those comments after Mom had me sequestered in the kitchen all morning almost had me going after you tooth-and-nail. Not exactly the happily in love image we’re trying to present.” I say in exasperation, batting my hand against his chest for emphasis. “You’re meant to be pissing them off, not me.”

  His smile widens as he looks down at me, and I know exactly how much he’s been enjoying baiting me while I haven’t been able to respond.

  “I was just trying to be helpful, Caz.” He says with false innocence. “Thought I’d give you some reasons to break up with me later.”

  “You’re meant to be breaking up with me, Josh, remember?” I point out. “Piss them off first, so that when you end it dramatically they’ll be relieved enough that I’m not with you to hold off on bothering me about any of this for a while.”

  “Hmm.” He frowns. “You know, if your Mom’s solution to not liking me is to try and set you up with Matthew while we’re together I’m not sure this plan is going to work out how you hope. Seems more likely that she’ll start throwing guys at you that meet her standards - before you go and pick another asshole for yourself.”

  I pause at that, matching his frown. He has a point.

  “That…does sound more likely.” I admit, then change tack. “Well, give me some terrible, traumatic break-up then and I’ll just act like this whole experience put me off relationships for a good, long time.”

  “That, I can do.” He grins. “One terrible, traumatic break-up—”

  My answering grin freezes into shock as Beth appears in the open doorway behind Josh’s shoulder.

  Without thinking, I lunge forward, my lips meeting Josh’s and my arms wrapping around his neck as I desperately try to shut him up.

  He goes tense and stupid under me, his whole body stiffening awkwardly as our lips squash together in the least romantic way I could imagine. I get a bit of teeth, and our noses almost crash into each other as I try to balance from the way adrenaline shot me forward.

  Fuck.

  It lasts the longest twenty seconds I’ve ever had in my life. Then I meet Beth’s eyes over his shoulder, using that as an excuse to break apart and trying for all the world to look as though she just interrupted us in the middle of something naughty and illicit.

  “Oh, Beth!” I exclaim, not having to feign being shocked or flustered. “I didn’t know you were there!”

  That’s the fucking truth.

  I have no idea how much she overheard.

  Trust it to be my most naturally suspicious, gossipy sister appearing unexpectedly in the doorway.

  She gives me a strange look, then her nose wrinkles up with disdain.

  “I was just stopping by to say that Neil and I are going to bed now - and since it’s my engagement party tomorrow, I want to get a good night of sleep. So don’t make any noise.” Her eyes run over the way Josh and I are standing awkwardly together and her lip curls. “Though from what I can see, I didn’t have to worry about that after all.”

  She turns in one neat spin, leaving with a slight dramatic flare before I can answer the insult.

  Not that I care. If that’s what she was focused on, as far as I’m concerned, that can only be a good thing.

  The door slams behind her and I curse myself for not closing it in the first place.

  What were Josh and I thinking, talking like that in the middle of the house I’m sharing with my privacy-invading family?!

  “What was that?” Josh finally gets his wits together, hand on his mouth and one eyebrow raised.

  “Sorry. I was just trying to shut you up - make it seem like we were in the middle of a passionate moment, and not casually discussing our imminent dramatic break-up.” I wipe my mouth and shake my head, scowling at him. “Though considering the way you tensed up as if I was attacking you or something, there was no chance of convincing anyone of that. I thought you were supposed to be good at this shit?”

  I mutter the last part, not quite sure whether I’m talking about kissing or acting, but uncomfortably aware that my pride is stinging more than it should from just how bad that kiss was.

  I mean, sure, I’ve been friends with Josh for years and neither of us has ever been the slightest bit interested in fucking, but…still.

  I’m hot. I’m good at kissing - when I’m not slamming into someone purely as a distraction, anyway. And even with that small issue, most guys would’ve been seriously into it. Or at least enough to make a good display for Beth.

  I’ve never gotten just…nothing. Especially from a guy as experienced as Josh—

  “Oh, I can assure you, Cassie, I am.” Josh interrupts my train of thought, his voice lowering for emphasis and his sudden attention pinning me.

  Something about his deep tone flickers along my skin, and I have to shake myself as I give him a thoroughly unimpressed look in return, shrugging.

  “Yeah, sure, you can tell me that all you like—” I start, ready to make a joke about the girls that regularly fall at his feet and return us to our normal banter, but he steps closer before I can.

  “I’m not going to tell you, Cassie.” His voice becomes a low murmur, and a pinprick of sensation runs down my spine as his hand comes up to cup my head, tilting it up towards him. “I’ll show you.”

  My breath catches, and then before I can say anything - in agreement or not - his lips brush over mine.

  Soft and warm and surprisingly gentle, but containing everything that had been missing just a few minutes ago.

  My mouth softens under him, and then the gentle caress changes in an instant, becoming firmer and more insistent, igniting nerves I’d almost forgotten existe
d and sending sparks flaring through me.

  His body is so close to mine that it feels like the kiss is joining far more than just our mouths. It makes me ache and want, and I’m suddenly desperate to push back, to kiss hard and deep and feel everything he has to offer. To press myself against him and have our tongues meet and clash and twist together.

  But this is Josh. And this is just a…just…something.

  It’s not real. It’s not passion. It’s just…a point he’s making.

  It could fool me, though.

  I moan slightly under him, unable to keep it in, and his mouth opens just the slightest bit, just enough to sink his tongue into my waiting mouth and slowly caress me, getting deeper and deeper and making me think of the other ways he could use it.

  His mouth feels hot on mine, and I am pushing back now, wanting more of him, and I can feel his breath hitching in response, his hand moving in my hair as he brings me closer.

  My pulse is going insane and my head feels like it’s spinning and I don’t have a clue what’s about to happen when it…stops.

  Just like that.

  He steps back, a small smile on his face that seems far too smug, and I’m left staring at him.

  Hopelessly confused.

  “You see?” He says easily, only the slight heat in his voice hinting that anything even happened.

  I blink, and it takes me a long moment to remember where I am and what we’re doing here.

  This is Josh. My friend. Making a point about being a good kisser.

  And, from the way I thought that was going for a moment there, a fucking good actor too.

  My god, if the women who play opposite him get that…

  I tell my brain to shut up, and make a point of shrugging at Josh.

  There’s no way to deny that his kiss worked - it had exactly the effect he wanted on me, as fucking awful as it is to admit it. He proved his point.

  But that’s all it was. There was nothing else to it. The same kind of competitive spirit that we always have, it’s just that…usually…we stick to words.

  “Mm.” I mutter a non-committal agreement, even though we both know he’s right, my wits slowly coming back to me. “Maybe next time, you could get it right in front of my family.”