Wide Awake: Part One (The Ward Family: Scott Ward Book 1)

by Miller, Jessie

  Scott’s warm hands slide on my shoulders and he hugs me from behind. “Are you okay?” he asks.

  “What happened? Why do we have to go back?” I say still staring at the lake.

  “Business stuff,” he says. “Apparently there’s a charity event tomorrow I was invited to that wasn’t on my schedule. Molly called my father after she saw the invitation in my mailbox at the office. She’s tried to call me, but I haven’t paid attention. My mind’s been elsewhere.”

  “Ah.” I have to go back to my normal life. I try my hardest to be stone cold. To not show how uncertain I am of Scott and I.

  “Yeah,” he says. “We leave bright and early in the morning.” I nod along and we start walking back to the house. He explains who the gala is for and why it’s imperative that we attend. I don’t question his reasons. I just want to go home.

  The rest of the night is nothing special. Nothing like it should have been. I want to take it down a notch, since we’ll be back to our lives in less than 24 hours. I can’t risk expressing my feelings for him in such a public way. We hold hands and kiss, but nothing like before. The heat that once created an inferno between us, fizzled and struggled to keep the fire. My feelings haven’t changed; everything else has.

  As we lay in bed, Scott holds my face in his hands. “I’m sorry, Grace.”

  “Don’t be sorry.” I try to smile. “This was all too fast anyway.”

  “When we go back to the city, everything will be different.”

  I shake my head. “No it won’t. But that’s okay.” I kiss him and turn my body around. I stare at the window where I can see the dark blue sky and the stars that shine brightly over the lake. Scott’s hand is on the center of my back, caressing my skin. He traces his fingers down my spine, under my shirt. I let him because it’s soothing. He creates patterns on my skin and I close my eyes.

  In my dreams, Scott and I are together, holding each other by the lighthouse. Our happily ever after, not quite realized. My dreams are twisted. Showing me the life I want. The life I never thought I could want until the past two days. I know when I wake, those dreams will be taken away from me. But all I can do is sleep.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Like I predicted, the flight back to Chicago the next morning brings everything back to normal. Instead of being all over me, like he was for the past two days, I get the cold shoulder. My job was to play the part and pretend like we were together, which now I know we clearly aren’t. I sit in my seat with a book from my suitcase and I read for the hour trip. Scott sits on the other side of the plane, reading his financial papers and making phone calls. I want to think that he’s thinking about me in the back of his mind, but I know that can’t be true. He doesn’t say a word to me.

  After landing and riding back to the office, I sit at my desk and figure out how to best get myself back together. Molly’s here on a Saturday, working overtime to make sure everything is ready for the charity gala tonight. I log into my computer and stare at the planners laid out before me. Scott walks behind me and doesn’t say a word. He walks into his office and shuts the door. Even though the atmosphere of the office should distract me, I can’t help but feel like Scott dropkicked me like he would anyone else. Like the moments we had at the estate were just moments. I prepared myself for the inevitable, but I’m not entirely aware of how my reaction will be. I stand up and Molly smiles at me, her eyes questioning me carefully. I smile back and grab my phone from my purse.

  Stepping into the break room, I collapse in one of the chairs and dial my mom’s number. She answers, “You were supposed to call me yesterday, Grace.”

  “I know, Mom.” Even though she nags, her voice oddly relaxes me. “How was your weekend?”

  “You should be happy you weren’t here,” she begins. Everything with my mother starts with that phrase. She knows most people don’t want to be around her during family gatherings, but she’s happy she ends up being the main storyteller.

  My mother goes on and on about how my aunts and my grandmother were yelling around the table at each other. I find myself laughing and relaxing. It’s almost as if I was there with the illusions of everyone. This is the part of my mother I love the most. She’s loving, carefree, and always my source of happiness whenever my anxiety pulls me inward. I can’t help but miss her. She won’t be back from California until Monday afternoon. The tears are beginning to welt in my eyes and I hear a knock. I turn around suddenly and see Molly.

  “Mom, I have to go. I’ll call you when I get home.” I hang up the phone and wipe my eyes. “I know what you’re going to say.”

  Molly sits down on the other chair across from me. “You do?”

  I exhales. “You’ll say,” I try to imitate her voice. “Grace, you know what he does to women, why would you ever let him treat you this way?” Molly laughs. She knows first hand of his reputation.

  “Pretty close,” she says. We sit in silence for a moment. “Grace, he’s your boss. I don’t know how he treated you this weekend, and spare me the details.” She held her hands to her ears. “But I know this isn’t you. We all work for paychecks around here, it’s not like we actually enjoy what we do.”

  I blow my nose. “I know, I know.” I shake my head. “Does that mean I should quit?”

  “Don’t quit if you don’t have another job lined up.” Molly smiles. “And don’t let Scott Ward get to you. He’s forever in this adolescent stage. He’ll grow up and realized he missed the best thing that could’ve ever happened to him.”

  “Thanks, Molly.” I run my hands over my eyes and make sure they aren’t puffy.

  “That’s what I’m here for.” She gives me a little hug and leaves the room. I look at my phone and see that it’s already noon. The charity gala starts at 6 pm and I haven’t even gone home.

  I walk back to my desk, but before I can get my purse to leave, I catch a glimpse of Scott’s office. He’s talking to someone. Someone with cropped, elegantly curled, bleach blonde hair. My head snaps to Molly, where she pretends to gag.

  ******

  A couple of hours and lots of preparation later, I sit in the limo with Molly, Scott, and his model date, Karlie. She’s taller than he is and all leg. I’m not one for women being angry at other women, and if I got the chance to actually talk to her, she’s probably elegant and intelligent, but just the look of her made my skin crawl. I wonder what plans Scott has in store for her.

  Our limo drops us off in front of the Drake Hotel. The typical spot for the Chicago elite. Molly is dressed in a beautiful emerald green dress. It fits her curves perfectly and makes her auburn red hair glow. I can tell that she’s excited to get out of the house for the night. Even if it’s for work.

  I look at Scott, but he’s looking out the window. All I want is to get out of the car and hide in the hotel bathroom. He clears his throat and the door opens. I look at Molly and smile. When I turn my head, I see Karlie making eye contact with me. She smiles. She has slight crow feet at the side of her eyes. It surprises me. What if Scott wants someone who has the total package? Beautiful, accomplished, and aging gracefully.

  When we get out of the car, Molly and I know our position. We stand a few steps back from Scott and Karlie as they make their way through their doors. This is part of the job that I like. I get paid to wear nice clothes and meet fancy people who drink fancy cocktails and talk about their fancy lives. Granted, I have to help Scott remember these fancy people, but at least I’m fading into the background.

  Molly grabs my hand as we go down the stairs into the ballroom. “You okay?” I ask. She nods.

  The ballroom is glittering with tulle, tuxes, and champagne. The young elite don’t really like to show their wealth in Chicago, but when it’s for charity, they’ll bring out the best. We get directed to our table, where I sit between a total stranger and Scott. He sits and we sit. People at our table are carefully balancing between watching the party and watching their phones. Some furiously text while drinking their champagne. That’s when
you can tell what they do for a living. Only financial professionals type that angrily on the phone 24/7. Karlie says she has to go to the restroom, and Scott makes Molly accompany her. Which leaves him and I alone with strangers at our table.

  I look towards the dancing couples and cringe. How can someone show one side and reveal another without caring? I should have known Scott to be that kind of man, and the more I think about how cruel he can be, the more I remember his soft side. The man who told me his feelings against a landscape of cascading waves.

  The way he touched my skin like it was precious silk. The way he knew his kisses made me want to hang on his every word. Every move. How dare I even begin to trust him again? I try my best not to look at him, but his throat clearing shatters our silence. “Would you like to dance, Grace?” I turn my head and his eyes are shining. Just like they did that day at the lake.

  “Why don’t you wait for your date?” I ask. Karlie and Molly are still not back from the restroom and I get nervous.

  “Because I’m asking you,” he says. Scott stands up, pushes his chair in, and holds out his hand. “Just one.”

  I breathe. I forget to breathe. I look at Scott. “Fine. Just one.” Way to keep it together Brandt. Can’t you tell him ‘no’ at least once in your life?

  We walk to the floating, dancing couples hand in hand. Part of me wants to sit down and pretend I’m a little girl and throw a massive fit. That’s only appropriate, right? Otherwise, I would be where I am now - casually dancing by Scott’s side - not letting him get as close as I know he wants to get.

  “Why don’t you smile?” He asked out of the blue. Our eyes meet briefly and I immediately start scanning the room for Karlie and Molly. He cleared his throat. “Grace?”

  I’m nervous. I know I am. Never before had I been surrounded with people who live the same type of life that Scott lives. Never before had I recognized how deeply different I am from him and how I can’t possibly be wanted by a man of his stature.

  Of course, I’m not wanted by Scott. If I was, he wouldn’t have brought Karlie.

  “Why did you bring Karlie?” I answer his question with a question. I can tell from his brows that he doesn’t like it.

  “Looks can be deceiving, Ms. Brandt,” he says. We pause for a moment. This must be the longest song in the world, because the people around us keep dancing. Scott whispers, “I’m sorry that I didn’t bring you, but people here know who you are. I can’t have people in our professional lives act like my family did. I’m not sure I’m ready for that pressure.”

  I take a step back. “Not ready for the pressure?” I don’t want to cause a scene, but I can’t help but let my anger show. Scott grabs my hands and I writhe out of his grasp. I whisper, “Who the fuck do you think you are? Bringing your assistant home, making me pretend I’m your girlfriend, and then drop kicking me like I mean nothing to you?”

  “Grace, calm down,” he says.

  “No, I won’t calm down.” I wave my hand over to where Molly and Karlie come back from the bathroom and sit. “I’m the laughing stock of the fucking office and now you’ve brought me and made me blow up at you in front of investors and potential clients. Just leave me alone, Scott.” I walk away with what I think is my dignity and go back to the table to grab my clutch. Molly looks up and me and asks if I’m alright.

  “I’m fine,” I say. “Just need some fresh air.” I pick up my phone and look at the screen - 10 missed calls. All from a number I don’t recognize. “Excuse me.” I walk fast before Scott can catch me.

  I almost run to the hallway that opens to the community balcony of the hotel. I put my clutch under my arm and call my mother. A man’s voice answers. “Hello?”

  “Where’s my mom?” I ask. “Who are you?”

  “I’m sorry, ma’am, we tried to call you before she went into surgery.” My knees are weak and I’m finding it hard to stand.

  “What’s going on?” My voice gets higher and higher. My panic attack is about to ensue.

  “I’m sorry, but your mother suffered from cardiac arrest. She was here visiting a doctor for her heart palpitations, and while waiting, she had a heart attack.”

  “What?!” My shriek echoes through the balcony and some people walking back from the restroom look back at me. “What hospital are you at? Who even are you?”

  “I’m Dr. Harry Morgan and I’m a cardiac specialist at Cedars-Sinai. Your mother is currently having a bypass surgery.” I have to hold on to the wall to keep myself from falling on to the marble floor. “If I may ask, where are you located, ma’am?”

  “Chicago,” I struggle to say. Dr. Morgan gives me instructions and gives me the timeline for the surgery. “I’ll be there. I have to go.” I hang up the phone and know that I can’t even go back home to pack. I have to go to the airport. I’m running through the hallway when I spot Molly’s face. She’s walking towards me.

  “Are you okay?” she asks. I shake my head and can feel the tears begin to run down my cheek. “Grace, what’s wrong? I won’t tell Scott. Talk to me.” I push by her and walk towards the table to find my coat check ticket. I can’t find it and look in my clutch. Grabbing the ticket, I leave the table and weave through people in fancy dresses and bow ties.

  Molly stops walking behind me and I make my way to the coat check. While I’m walking through the dark hallway, I notice two people caress each other in the dark. The woman making small moans and they grow louder and louder. The man groans with her. I stop in my tracks. I know that groan. As I walk closer and closer, I see Scott with his lips on another woman’s neck. And the woman isn’t even Karlie. His hands pull the front of her dress down and he cups her breast, about to take his nipple in his mouth. The woman looks in my direction and opens her eyes. “Excuse me?” She grabs Scott in an attempt to cover her bare chest. “Can’t you see we’re busy?”

  Scott turns his head and his eyes instantly widen. “Grace.” I can’t hear the rest of his statement as I dart down the hallway and quickly make my way through coat check. I throw my shawl over my shoulders and run down the stairs of the hotel. Scott runs after me and catches me outside. “It’s not what it looks like,” he says.

  “Stop it, Scott,” I say, crying still. “I don’t care anymore. I’m done.” I wave my hand for a taxi.

  Scott grabs my hand. “Why are you leaving?” he asks. “She meant nothing to me.”

  I force my hand out of his. “Are you fucking dense?” My voice gets higher and higher. “This world is not about you, Scott Ward. My life doesn’t revolve around you and your fucking mind-games. My life is mine and because I’ve been distracted, my mother is now in the hospital. I can’t fucking deal with this anymore.” A taxi shows up and I grab the door handle.

  “Grace, I’m sorry. I can get you a plane--“

  “I don’t need your help anymore, Scott. I quit.” I get in the taxi and close the door in his face. “Midway Airport, please.” We drive off and I wipe my face with my hands. The evening lights of Chicago follow behind us as we enter into traffic.