Abelie

by Belle Winters

  He smiled and within minutes he was snoring lightly by my side. I stayed up for a few more hours relaxing, eating ice cream, and watching T.V. until I turned everything off and laid down next to him. It’s like he knew because his arm reached out and dragged me into him until he was spooning me. When I’d gotten comfortable he let out a deep sigh and his snoring resumed… this was nice.

  When I woke the next morning, Lucifer was long gone. I put my music on and decided to entertain myself. I hadn’t forgotten about the deal I’d made with Bull, and I’m determined to create this masterpiece so I could see him wear it. It’d only been a couple of hours before the door opened and Lucifer walked in and frowned.

  “What the fuck is this?” He asked.

  I smiled. “Selena Gomez, I love this song by the way… the heart wants what it wants. You should really expand your music collection man.” I encouraged.

  He scoffed. “Right, like that’s going to happen. Get your ass over here.” He said opening up his arms.

  I skipped over to him and let him wrap me up in his arms. He put his lips on mine and I instinctively deepened it. When I pulled back, his hands found my belly and began rubbing soothing circles on it.

  “You alright?” he asked.

  I nodded. “Yep.”

  His head cocked to the side. “So why didn’t you come downstairs and eat yet?”

  I sighed. “Is that why you came up here? To see why I hadn’t eaten… I just wasn’t hungry yet.”

  He shook his head. “You can’t just skip meals, I’ll bring you something.”

  I rolled my eyes as he released me. “Yes dad.”

  He ignored my sarcasm and left the room. I got myself comfortable as I waited for his return. I hadn’t realized how hungry I was until I smelled sausage when he came in. He chuckled at the answering growl that emitted from my stomach. He handed me the plate and left back out the room silently.

  I continued to keep myself busy with sketching new designs and working on Bull’s throughout the day and once the music picked up Lucifer found his way upstairs. I stared at him biting my lip as I contemplated how to broach this subject. It’s been weighing heavy on my shoulders since things got better between us and I didn’t want to do anything to disturb the peace.

  “So Lucifer… about that talk?” I began.

  He leaned back against the dresser and crossed his arms. “Talk.”

  I let out a deep breath. “We need to start preparing for the baby.” His eyebrow quirked in question. “I need to find us a place to live and get a nursery established…” I trailed off.

  His head dropped for a second as he heaved in a breath. “You’re not leaving.” He stated point blank.

  “Listen, I’m not trying to take the baby and disappear. I thought maybe we could all do this you know… together. The three of us.” I admitted hesitantly.

  He scoffed. “What do you think? We’re going to be a big happy family now, get married have 2.5 kids and a white picket fence? A dog? That aint the life for me and you know that so what are you getting at? You want a fucking fairy tale? Well this aint a Disney movie, there’s no happily ever after.”

  I stood up. “I thought you wanted to be a part of the baby’s life.” I stated accusingly.

  He nodded slowly. “I do, but I’m not changing myself and my lifestyle. Fuck Abelie, I can’t even give you a last name. What do you want from me?”

  My hands flew to my hips. “So what? You want to be a part-time dad? There when you feel like it? Part of having and raising a child is about making sacrifices. If you’re so worried about a last name, why not take mine?”

  He groaned. “That’s not an option. What do you really want? To move outta here and I send you a monthly allowance to help out? Fine. Want me to stop by when I have time? Sure. But were not going to be this perfect family.” He pushed off the dresser. “It seems like we keep coming back to the same shit. I don’t know why the fuck you have it in your head that you can change me… maybe mold me into the man you want. That aint me and it will never be me. I’m who the fuck I want to be and I’m not going to let any bitch change that ya get me?”

  “That’s your problem Lucifer. You think everyone wants something from you. I’m trying to help you get what you say you want. YOU BROUGHT ME BACK! You acted like you want to know your child. I want to help you do that but not at the sake of our child suffering!”

  “And how the fuck do you figure that will hurt him?” he asked angrily.

  I shrugged. “Maybe seeing you on occasion, not being a constant figure in their life. Feeling neglected or responsible for the fact that their father doesn’t want to be around. Would you put the club to the side to go to a dance recital, or a football game?” I asked. His answering shrug told me enough. “Right. I’d rather you not be there at all then be some ghost of a man.”

  “Too bad it isn’t your choice.” He said walking to the door.

  I threw my hands up in frustration and pointed an accusing finger at him. “There you go... of course you’re heading to the door.” I ran a hand through my hair in an attempt to try to calm myself. “Why is it that whenever we’re having a real discussion you run for the hills. Why can’t you stay and finish anything? I thought you were a big bad man but you can’t handle dealing with real situations. You’re nothing but an overgrown child.”

  He stormed to me. “Stop acting like you fucking know a damn thing about me. Just because I told you about my past doesn’t mean that you really know me. You keep acting like fucking mother Theresa know all, but you’re not fucking perfect either.”

  “What I’m going to tell you is that I don’t need to be perfect. No one is perfect Lucifer but I’ll let you know that I will be finding a place to raise my child. You need to decide where you fit into that equation.” I closed the remaining space between us. “And there’s nothing you can do to stop me.”

  I started for the door and he gripped my arm. “So you’re going to run halfway around the world again? Make me come and find you? This isn’t a fucking game of cat and mouse Abelie.” he said with the threat clear in his voice.

  I shook my head sadly. “No, I’m not going to run and try to disappear. But this time I’m walking out of this conversation because I’m done. There’s nothing left to be said here, your mind is made up and so is mine. This is too important to bend on for me and you’re too stubborn to see what’s right in front of your face. You want to stay here? Fine. But you have to leave me be, let me go.”

  He released me and as I walked through the door I heard his voice follow. “Where are you going?”

  I sighed. “Away from you.”

  I went downstairs and walked around aimlessly trying to figure out my next move. When I spotted Bull I walked up to him. “Hey Bull.”

  His smile faltered when he saw my expression. “What’s wrong babe?” he asked.

  I shrugged. “Everything. Do you mind if I use your room? I need some space.”

  He nodded slowly. “Sure thing, you need anything else?”

  I shook my head. “No, I’ll probably come out a little later for something to eat.”

  He pulled me in for a tight hug and kissed my hair. “It’s going to be fine babe.”

  I started to walk away and stopped. “Hey, if you see Nettie can you ask her to drop by?” I asked.

  He nodded. “Sure thing.”

  I closed myself off in Bull’s room. He had a computer in here and I decided to start preparing for my departure. I needed to find myself a place to stay, check what my money was like, and get a new job. Starting over once again… this is beginning to get old to me. All the work required to do this, this has to be the last time. Especially once the baby is born I can’t bounce around like this, the baby would need stability. Plus the whole process was exhausting both mentally and physically.

  About two hours in, Nettie came into Bulls room. “Hey Abee.”

  “Hey Nettie.”

  She plopped down on the bed beside me. “What ya doin in
here?” she asked.

  I shrugged. “Hiding from Lucifer… looking for somewhere to live.” I confessed.

  “What do you mean? I thought things had gotten better.” She said confused.

  I shook my head. “So did I. apparently though nothing has really changed. Once again, I’ve found myself back in his bed being nothing but a fuck buddy. I brought up us having to move you know with the baby and he doesn’t really want any parts of it.”

  Nettie rolled her eyes and dropped back on the bed. “What the fuck? So why the hell did he go grab you and bring you back here? That man has more than a few screws loose. What he’s going to let you go again? Are you going to go back to Cayuga?” she asked.

  I shook my head. “No, I’m going to stay here where my dad and you guys are. I don’t want to not give him the option of knowing our child I just… I don’t know how it’s going to work without someone getting hurt. In the meantime, though I need out of here. I need to start getting stuff ready for the baby.”

  She sat up and gripped my hands. “You know I’m here for you, I’ll be there.”

  “Thanks Nettie.”

  She bit her lip as she thought. She eyed me warily before opening and closing her mouth a few times. “What is it?” I asked.

  She sighed. “Well, I’ve got an idea…”

  I cocked my head to the side. “Ok, let’s hear it.”

  “I told you that Bull set me up with a spot right next to him. I could you know, move into his place and give you mine. It’s fully furnished and there are extra rooms. Two extra rooms, you can turn one into a nursery…” I opened my mouth to argue but she held up a finger to stop me. “Now, I don’t want no shit from you. Let’s be real here, I know you have the money blah, blah, blah but look… you’re seven and a half months pregnant. It’s more about time than anything else and it will be less stressful. Plus, you’ll be close to us if you need anything.”

  “Is Bull going to be ok with that? I mean, we’re kind of making plans that include him and besides will you be comfortable living with him?”

  She waved a hand. “Girl please, he’s not going to do fuck all about anything. He’s actually going to help me move my stuff over to his place and move you in.”

  I laughed. “You bully that poor man.”

  She laughed. “He needs his ass kicked every once in a while. And you’d be one to talk… If my memory is right, then I do remember you slapping the shit out of prez and here you are still breathing.”

  I shook my head. “He needs to be slapped every once in a while.” I said repeating her.

  She patted my leg then went to stand. “I’m going to head home and start packing my shit. You should do the same. Do you need anything?” she asked.

  I thought about it. “Probably some luggage or something.”

  She nodded. “Cool. Just get your shit ready and I’ll bring some bags and shit and help you get it together to go. Got it?” I nodded. She bent down and hugged me. “Don’t worry about it hun, it’ll be ok.”

  I groaned. “I wish you guys would stop telling me that.”

  She just chuckled and with a final wave left.

  I decided I would wait until the next day to pack hoping that by then the worst of the storm would be over. I know I was still extremely emotional and I didn’t want to have another fight today. I don’t think I would be able to handle it.

  “Babe?”

  I looked up to see bull entering the room. He was trying to balance two plates and cups in his hands. “I come with gifts.” He said with a smile.

  I shut down the computer and made space for him on the bed. “What’s that?” I asked.

  “You never came out to get food so I cooked up this fancy meal for you.” He said.

  “You cooked?!” I asked shocked.

  “Yes, I made hot dogs. And I even put ketchup and mustard. Hell, I even made some sauerkraut; you must be some special bitch.”

  I laughed and shook my head. “Aww thanks, that must’ve taken you a lot of effort. I appreciate it.”

  “So what’s happening now? You two are like a married fucking couple I tell you. I’m waiting for the day I come in and see him sleeping on the couch.”

  I rolled my eyes. “The usual, him being a stubborn prick and me being fed up.”

  He shook his head. “You’re both fucking stubborn.”

  “Oh whatever. Did you speak to Nettie?” I asked.

  He nodded. “I did. We’re going to be neighbors.”

  I chuckled. “Wow, did you talk about it or did she tell you?”

  He smiled and shrugged. “She told me.”

  I laughed hard. “She really does run the show.”

  He rolled his eyes. “Don’t get confused, I wear the pants in this fucking relationship.”

  I waggled my eyebrows. “Relationship?” I asked.

  He actually blushed. “You know what I mean… stop being fucking nosy.”

  I laughed. “Would you people stop calling me that? I’m not nosy I’m curious, huge difference buddy.” I took a bit of my hot dog. “So are you going to tell Lucifer?” I asked.

  He shook his head and my mouth dropped open in shock. “I get your pregnant as fuck, but you’re still hot. Me seeing a wiener in your mouth isn’t exactly a turnoff.”

  I threw my tissue at him. “Shut up. I’m just shocked you tell him everything.”

  He shrugged. “He told me you were moving out.”

  “Wow.” Was all I could say. I mean, I didn’t think it would be that easy but then again, it’s not like I meant anything to him for him to make a deal out of it. I guess it was a good thing I brought this up when I did. It would’ve been horrible to be days away from giving birth and finding out he didn’t really want us.

  We finished up eating and Bull let me have his room. He said he was heading home to help Nettie move her stuff. I thanked him for everything and went to bed. I ended up waking up a little later than usual the next morning. I made me a bagel and made my way upstairs to start packing. I didn’t need to stay here any longer than necessary. When I made my way to the room, there was luggage laying there just waiting to be loaded. I couldn’t help the humorless laugh that escaped. I guess he wanted me out just as bad.

  Instead of dwelling on it, I got to packing. I’d been packing for a few hours already when Nettie arrived. “You’ve got a lot done.”

  I nodded. “Yea, I didn’t have to wait for the luggage.” I said gesturing to the opened bags scattered in the room.

  Instead of answering, she went to work helping me out with packing. When we were done she phoned Bull to come help. When he came to my room he wasn’t alone.

  “You ready sugar?” he asked.

  I nodded. “More than ready.”

  Lucifer grunted but I ignored him. Instead, I began wheeling items to the door. When I went to take a duffle bag down the stairs Lucifer grabbed my arm. “What the fuck are you doing?”

  I looked at him confused. “What?”

  He gestured to the bag. “You’re not supposed to be carrying stuff like that. Why don’t you take your ass to the car and we’ll bring your shit.” it was more of a demand than a statement.

  Did I want to fight him? Absolutely, but it wasn’t worth it. I was getting out of this place and away from Lucifer. After this, I would be done with all of this. This time would be different because he knows I’m leaving, he’s letting me go so there is no need to run and hide. I’d simply be able to just live my life. I walked out of the clubhouse and scanned the warehouse from the outside. When I turned to get into the jeep, I told myself this was goodbye. I would never look back.

  I rode with Nettie and Bull in his truck, while Lucifer trailed behind us in his. He had to tag along to help carry stuff because everything couldn’t fit in Bull’s car. I didn’t really care that he knew where I was moving, truth be told it’s not like it would’ve been kept a secret.

  When we got there, Nettie and I fled to the room she thought would be best for the nursery. We loc
ked ourselves in there brainstorming the entire time the guys were bringing in my stuff. To be honest, I was just avoiding having to be around Lucifer and Nettie knew it. She just humored me and didn’t say anything about it for that I was grateful. When the coast was clear, she led me back to the front and gave me a tour. Just inside the door was a small foyer. To the right was a set of stairs that we had just come down and off to the left led into a nice size living room area. There was a light gray sectional with grey and white marble tables. There was a bright orange rug in the center of the room which gave it a bright flare. There was a large TV mounted on the wall and a book case loaded down with books beside it. I continued into the dining area which wasn’t very large but big enough to fit a six-chair dining table underneath a pretty chandelier. The kitchen was spacious with a lot of countertop space. There were all the appliances you would need but I noticed the lack of cooking materials. Nettie just shrugged sheepishly and said I should’ve known better. There was a half bathroom off of the kitchen and stairs that led to the basement where there was a desk and a washer and dryer hookup.

  Upstairs there were four doors. She led me first to the bathroom that was nicely decorated and then the second spare room. It was nicely furnished but nothing to fancy. I’d already seen the other spare room which would be the nursery and then it was the master bathroom. There was a queen-sized bed, with an electric fireplace nightstand. There was a TV that I would guess was about 50 inches. There was a dresser and nightstand. There was a walk-in closet and an ensuite bathroom. It was nice and perfect. It wasn’t too much and mostly it was comfortable.

  Nettie stayed with me for a while or at least until she thought I was good enough to be left alone. I had a million things on my mind about what I need to do, but I have to take care of the most important thing on the list first. I wandered around the house until I found the house phone and dialed the number. After two rings, they answered.

  “Hey dad, can I see you?”

  And… Ever After

  Chapter 13

  My dad showed up the next day. He held onto my car that I left at his office the day he’d handed me over to Lucifer for the first time. That was at least one less thing I needed to worry about. When the bell rang I ran to the door and swung it open. Without missing a beat, he stepped in and wrapped his arms around me in a bear hug.