Alluring Turmoil

by Skye Turner

  I cradle the phone between my chin and shoulder and whisper back, “I love you too. So much.”

  We talk for a bit, and then we both hang up to go get cleaned up.

  Right before I fall asleep, I get another text from Jude. It’s a picture message and he’s blowing me a kiss.

  I fall asleep hugging my phone.

  Things are pretty much the same for the next few weeks. We talk every day and have more phone sex, but now we’ve added sexting to the mix. I miss him, but talking to him every day is helping immensely with the separation anxiety.

  The shop is even busier and the holidays are now approaching, so I’m getting even more orders. I block off a few days on the calendar and go to talk to Erik.

  Bayou Stix has a stop in L.A. for a few days, so I decide to surprise Jude with a visit. I have a week to make my arrangements. I decide not to tell him, but I do text Jessie and ask him for Jude’s address there.

  Everything is set and my flight leaves in an hour. Thanksgiving is next week and it’s been six and a half weeks since I’ve seen Jude.

  Erik drops me off with my bags at the airport and gives me a hug. “Call me when you land, ok?” I promise to call… and be careful… and not talk to strangers. Five hours and one layover later, I’m in L.A.

  What the hell am I doing? I should have told him I was coming. He didn’t say he had any plans, but what if he does and I crash them? Too late now. I’m here.

  I’m able to get a taxi and give the driver the address that Jessie texted me last week. As we head off, I lean back. I text Erik to let him know I’m here, and that I’m headed to Jude’s. I get a text a few minutes later. I’m expecting Erik, but it’s Bradi.

  “Bradi

  You make it?

  See your man yet?

  Call me later with all the sexy details!”

  I shoot her one back,

  “Lexi

  Made it.

  Heading to his place now.

  I’ll call you later!”

  We turn into a very nice neighborhood. Jude’s house back home is gorgeous. It’s big, but these houses make that house look like a shack. Jude lives here? Shit, how rich is he?!

  The cab driver stops at a massive house with an iron gate around it. I just sit and stare at the house.

  “You getting out, lady? We can sit here as long as you want, but the meter is running. Does your friend know you’re coming?”

  I snap out of my daze and take the money out to cover the fare. “No, he doesn’t. It’s a surprise.”

  “Well a pretty thing like you should be a welcome surprise.” He opens my door and hands me my bag, then gets in his car and takes off.

  I’m here. Now what?

  I walk to the gate and see that it’s not actually closed. I walk through the opening and look around to make sure the address is right. Yup. Same address Jessie gave me.

  I let out a breath and walk to the door. There’s a fancy doorbell, so I push it. It takes awhile and I’m looking towards the street when the door opens.

  I turn around. I’m looking at a seemingly naked girl. Or rather a young woman and she’s gorgeous. I take in her appearance. She’s slim, but I can see a hint of curves, under what looks like a man’s button up shirt, halfway buttoned. Her hair is short and messy, but like it’s supposed to look like that. It’s also jet black and glossy. Her eyes are dark brown, almost black. Her skin is flawless and her lips are full and perfect.

  I’m staring.

  Finally, she cocks her hip and says sarcastically, “Can I help you? Or did you just come here to stare at me?”

  I manage to sputter out, “I’m sorry. I’m looking for Jude. Jude Delecroix. Is this his house?”

  She lifts her brow, casually leans against the door, and looks me over. “I’ll just bet you are. Yes, this is his house.”

  “Oh, well um… I’m um. I’m Lexi.” I sound like an idiot, but I have no idea what’s going on right now, or who this woman is.

  “Ok. What do you want, Lexi?” She has no idea who I am.

  “Um, who are you? Do you– do you live here?”

  “Y…e…s… I live here. I’m Clove. But again, how can I help you?”

  “You live here? Here? With…. with Jude?”

  “Yes, when he’s here, I live here with him.” She’s looking at me like I’m crazy. “Look, I don’t know who you are, but we’re kind of busy, so spit out whatever it is you need, because I need to get back to what I was doing. I only have a few days this time, so…”

  I feel faint… I think I’m going to throw up. Jude lives here? Here. With this gorgeous woman. This gorgeous naked woman… What the hell?! This woman who has no idea who I am. Oh my God. I’m so stupid… I need to go. I have to get out of here.

  “No, I’m sorry to have bothered you. This was a mistake. I’m sorry. I’m not doing anything here. Nothing at all.” I turn on my heel and grab my bag before running down the driveway.

  I hear Clove, the gorgeous woman Jude lives with, calling after me as I reach the street. “Lady, are you ok?” I ignore her and just keep running. Once I’ve run about six blocks, I stop and look around. Thankfully I’m near a bus stop. I drop onto the bench and cry my eyes out.

  I’m so stupid.

  I manage to get back to the airport, and I book a flight home that leaves in four hours. I call Erik and tell him through my tears that I’m on my way home, that this was a mistake, and that I’ll explain once I get back.

  My phone rings after an hour and I see the Caller ID.

  “Rocker Who Loves You”

  Ignoring the call, I turn off the phone and lay my head back on the seat. I cry and cry, until I have no tears left.

  My plane lands around 10PM. It’s been one day and my life is in tatters. Erik and Bradi meet me at the airport and as soon as I see them, I fall into Erik’s arms and cry tears I can’t possibly still have. Bradi immediately starts asking questions, but Erik tells her to stop and wait until we get home before asking them.

  I lay across the backseat. I feel like someone has ripped out my insides and my heart is in a vice. Bradi and Erik talk quietly in the front seat while I just exist in a haze of pain in the back.

  Erik carries me into the house once we pull up and places me on my bed in my room. Bradi follows him in, wringing her hands. She helps me get undressed and into some flannel pants and a long sleeved shirt. I am freezing. My insides feel like ice. Without her help, there’s no way I could have done it.

  She sits me up in the bed and props pillows behind my back before snuggling against me and just hugging me. A few minutes later, Erik walks in holding a cup of tea. I don’t want tea… I hate tea. Jude drinks tea.

  They look at each other and then Erik crosses to the bed and sits down. He scoots me over so that I’m in between Bradi and him. Taking my cold hand in his, he asks, “What happened, Lexi?”

  I just look at them. My eyes are so full of pain and my body just feels cold. Empty.

  And then it all tumbles out… I tell them about getting to the house and Clove. How beautiful she is. That she lives there with Jude. That she had no idea who I was. All of it… I scream and cry and then I’m just silent. I slumped over at some point and Erik has my head cradled in his lap, just smoothing my hair off of my tear streaked face.

  His hands still when I’m done. He moves them from my face and I can see him clench his fists. His knuckles are white.

  “Mother Fucker! I warned that mother fucker. How could he do this? Why would he do this to you? He swore to me that he loved you. I believed that he loved you. How the fuck could he do this again?” Erik is raging.

  Bradi’s eyes are huge and she starts ranting. “I’m going to kill him! I told him not to hurt you too! I told him! I’m going to fucking cut his dick off! I’m going to kill that stupid fucking ‘rock star’!”

  I listen to the two of them go on and on, both intense in their rage over it all. I should feel rage. I should be mad. But I feel nothing…

  Wh
y don’t I feel anything? Ha. I’m broken. How pathetic am I? Not only did I let Jude Delecroix break my heart back then, but now, this time, I let him break me. And I don’t even care… I’m too tired to care…

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Lexi

  I must have passed out. My head hurts and I squint as I look over at the alarm clock. It’s 5:15 in the morning. My mind goes over and over yesterday’s events and I’m still numb, but now I’m starting to get pissed.

  How dare he do this to me… Again!

  I believed him and that’s on me, but I’ll be damned if he’s going to ruin my life! I had a good life before he pushed his way back in and I will have a good life again.

  Who needs him anyway?

  My internal pep talk works. I sit up. Bradi is asleep next to me. Almost as if he heard me stirring, Erik walks into the room and hands me a cup of coffee. He smoothes my hair and kisses my forehead.

  “How are you, love?” I look at him, taking in the circles under his eyes and his unshaven face. He apparently didn’t sleep last night.

  Kissing his cheek, I answer him. “I’m ok.” My throat sounds like I swallowed a frog. “Thank you.”

  He smiles sadly and kisses my nose. “For what? I couldn’t stop him from hurting you.”

  “Thank you for being there for me. You’re always there for me, Erik. You’ve always been there for me. I love you.” I rub my nose against his whiskers.

  He sighs and I see he’s holding something in his other hand. He holds out his hand to me.

  My phone…

  He looks at me and says, “Jude called all night. Like forty times. And he’s texted too. What are you going to do, Lex? You didn’t see him yesterday. He’s just going to keep calling.”

  Just then my phone rings again, and “Rocker Who Loves You” and the pic of us from bed pops up. I hit ignore and throw the phone down.

  “Let him call. I don’t owe him shit! I need to shower. I’m going to work today.” Then looking around my room, I ask Erik, “Can you grab all of his shit and pack it up? I’ll go drop it off at his house, along with his keys, after work. I don’t want it here.”

  Erik frowns, but says he will.

  I leave him to go shower. Jude’s shampoo and body wash as well as his razor are in the shower. I sweep them all to the ground, finish my shower, and get dressed.

  When I’m done, I walk back into the bathroom and grab his toiletries. Erik has a box on the bed full of Jude’s things. All of his clothes and a few other things are in there. I add the shampoo, body wash, and razor before closing it.

  Bradi is in the kitchen with Erik and they are talking quietly, but urgently. They have my phone.

  “What’s going on, y’all?” I ask.

  They both look up and Bradi wrings her hands.

  “What? What happened?”

  Bradi points at Erik and says, “Jude called Erik. Erik told him never to call you again and if he did, he would kill him.”

  I look from one to the other. “Ok. Is that all?”

  Bradi frowns and says, “No. As soon as Erik hung up on him, Jude called your phone. Five times. I answered it and screamed at him, telling him what a lying piece of shit he was, and told him to leave you alone.”

  “Is that all?”

  “Well, no… then he texted you. Here.” Bradi looks really nervous.

  “Fucking Lying Prick

  LEXI?

  WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?

  Why are you avoiding my calls and texts?

  You HAVE to talk to me.

  Why the fuck are Erik and Bradi threatening to kill me???

  Call me back. Please.”

  I raise my eyes at the name, but then shrug. “Ok. I have nothing to say to him, so I’m good.”

  “You’re not mad at us, Lex?” asks Erik.

  “Nope. Not at all. Thank you, both. You’re good friends and I love you.” I hug both of them and then walk to my room to get my shoes.

  “Ok, I’m going to work. I have a lot I can be doing today. Erik, you can come in later if you want to. I can handle it for a bit,” I call out as I walk back out, and grab my keys before heading out of the door.

  I know I’m acting strange but I can’t just sit here, and work will keep me busy.

  I head off to Java and Sweeties.

  We’re insanely busy! It’s like everyone in town wanted a coffee or some sweets and they all came here. Erik showed up about an hour after me and he’s been watching me all day. It’s kind of making me nervous.

  Bradi has also been here most of the day. She’s set up her laptop on one of the tables, and says she’s working, but she’s watching me more than the laptop.

  It’s as if they both think I’m going to lose it.

  I talk to the customers and take orders. I even make coffee when the pots get low. But no matter how I look on the outside, my heart is broken on the inside.

  I just don’t understand. How did this get so messed up?

  A little after four the bakery display starts to run low, so I run to the back to grab some things to fill it. My eye catches the box near my office. It’s Jude’s things. I plan on dropping it off at his house once I leave here.

  I’m in the kitchen stacking cookies on a tray, when I hear a commotion out front. Putting the tray down, I run out to see what the hell is going on. My mouth drops open as I stop and take in the scene in the shop. Erik has Jude in a headlock and Micah, Alec, Dade, and Jessie are all trying to break them apart. Bradi is screaming at them both and people are gaping openmouthed at the spectacle.

  Erik is screaming at Jude. “I warned you! I fucking warned you. I told you not to hurt her! But no, you just couldn’t help it, could you? I should kill you!”

  Jude is shoving against Erik’s stomach and lands a blow that loosens his hold on him. He shoves Erik, hard. “WHAT THE FUCK, MAN?”

  Both are breathing heavily. I’m still standing there in shock. What the fuck is happening? What is Jude doing here? He’s supposed to be in L.A.

  Micah and Alec are struggling to hold Erik and Dade and Jessie are near Jude. Erik is trying to get back to Jude, as he still rages at him. “Why would you do this to her, Jude? Again! Do you not care about how much you hurt her?”

  Jude looks at me. His eyes find mine. His face is strained and his jaw is clenched. “What the hell is going on, Lexi? Why won’t you answer my calls? Why are you avoiding me? And why the fuck is he attacking me?” He points at Erik.

  Bradi screams at him. “You’re a fucking liar, Jude Delecroix! How could you do that to her?”

  He ignores her and looks at me. “What exactly did I do, Lex?”

  I shake my head and tears pool in my eyes. I can’t answer him.

  “Baby, baby why are you crying? What the fuck is going on?” He comes over to me and tries to take my hands, but I step back from him. I see pain flash across his face at my rejection.

  Erik breaks free of Micah and Alec and lunges at Jude, punching him square in the face. Jude stumbles and blood runs down his face from his nose and split lip.

  “Walk away, Jude! For God’s sake, leave her alone! Can’t you see you’re hurting her? You’ve hurt her enough. Leave her the fuck alone!”

  Jude looks shell-shocked as he holds his face and blood runs down his hands. He looks from me to Erik and back.

  “I hurt her? How the fuck did I hurt her? Someone tell me what I did. All I did… all I’ve ever done, is love her.” His voice breaks at the end.

  “You cheated on her, you bastard! Again!” Bradi screams at him.

  “I WHAT?” he roars. “Bullshit! I’ve never cheated on her! Not one time. Ever! I wouldn’t do that to her.” His face is covered in shock and blood as he stares at me. His eyes are pleading with me to believe him.

  “But you did, Jude.” My voice is low. “I saw you. I saw you and– and I heard you and then yesterday… oh God yesterday…” I manage to speak through my tears.

  The shop is deathly quiet and everyone is glued to the
chaos happening here.

  “Lexi, what the fuck are you talking about? I have NEVER cheated on you! Ever!”

  “Why are you lying to me, Jude? Please stop. Oh God, just stop. I can’t take this. I can’t handle this again… only this time, this time it’s so much worse.” I fall to my knees on the floor and curl into myself. Bradi runs over and grabs me, cradling me in her arms.

  “Someone better fucking start explaining! LIKE FUCKING NOW!” Jude screams at no one and everyone.

  I hear Erik grate out, “Eight years ago, Jude! You’d just been signed. There was a party in New Orleans with the label. You asked Lexi to come with you… to give up college and all of her dreams to come with you to L.A. She was scared. You fought. You told her to meet you at the party if she changed her mind. And you left! Well she did come to meet you! I drove her to New Orleans that night. She decided that you were more important to her than her dreams. We went to the party and you weren’t there! She got a key to your suite from the desk and went up to see you. You were in the room, Jude! You were with a girl in the room! She SAW you. You asshole. She walked in and saw the man she loved fucking someone else! So, you want to tell us again how you never cheated on her?” He spits it out. He’s breathing heavily, and trying to get to Jude again.

  Jude

  “What?! No, I never! I didn’t… That’s why you left me? You thought… I didn’t… Lexi, that wasn’t…”

  I can’t complete a sentence. I can’t even breathe.

  WHAT IS HAPPENING?

  Jessie speaks up. “Wait a minute, Lexi! Jude didn’t cheat on you. That night, he wasn’t in that room. I was! We didn’t have our own rooms. Dade and I shared a room, and well, he was in ours. Jude got drunk at the party really early. He was so upset that you weren’t there. You ended things with him before he left because you didn’t want to come with him… with us to L.A. He was fucking devastated! He got wasted and passed out. We dragged him into Liam and Cruz’s room and he slept it off. He was there all night. Alone. If you walked into his room that night, you saw me having sex, not him. He wouldn’t have done that to you! He didn’t even talk to anyone that night. Fuck, Lexi, for SIX months he wouldn’t touch anyone after you left him! All he did was drink and act like an asshole!”