Player in a Suit

by Alex Wolf

  “So you had her come to your house?” Hank’s eyebrows raised.

  Shit.

  There wasn’t really any way out of this one. “There wasn’t a time that worked for either of us.”

  Hank’s shoulders were bouncing up and down, like he might go into a fit of laughter at any moment.

  “What the fuck are you doing here, anyway? Doesn’t anyone know how to use a goddamn phone these days?”

  “So, she was the student you talked about last time. I see you decided to have a little fun.”

  “What are you doing here?”

  “Just stopping by. Figured I’d see what you were up to.”

  Hank wouldn’t stop grinning at Grant. It seemed he enjoyed having him on edge.

  “It just kind of happened.”

  “You mean like you slipped and fell? And she was naked, and you landed just—”

  “You know what I mean, asshole.” Grant tried not to snicker. He knew how ridiculous the whole thing sounded.

  Hank gave him a look that told Grant he could see right through his little story.

  “So—decided to go for it, did ya?” Hank smirked as he talked.

  Grant shrugged. “It wasn’t easy.”

  “I don’t doubt that it was.”

  Grant stared out the window. “It’s bad. I know.”

  “Probably not as bad as you’re making it out in your mind.”

  “I’m an idiot.”

  “You like her, though.” Hank’s eyes locked onto Grant’s. “I can tell.”

  “It’s true. I like her a lot.”

  “So, keep it under wraps until she’s out of your class.” He walked over and rested a hand on Grant’s shoulder.

  Grant’s eyes darted to the hand and back to the window. He took in a deep breath.

  “You’re not the first man who’s gone after a younger woman. I hate to burst your bubble.

  Grant stood there, still unsure.

  “Let’s go get a beer. Get some shit off your chest.”

  Grant nodded.

  ~

  By the time they’d finished their second round of beers, Grant had told Hank everything, from the night he went to the bar, to being interrupted in the classroom, and the way they’d been seeing each other ever since.

  Hank sat on his barstool in silence, staring straight ahead, nodding occasionally. When Grant finished the story, they both sat there for a while before Hank shook his head.

  He finally spoke. “Well, this Bailey girl seems the only obstacle. Well, and if you piss off Kristen. That could have implications too.” He took a sip of his beer. “Thinking about it all now, I’d advise you to keep things casual until the class is over, if she’ll go for it. Seems like there might be suspicion going around already.”

  Grant planted his elbows on the bar and dropped his face into his hands. “That’s the problem. I don’t know if I can. I change into someone else every time she’s in the room. It’s intense.”

  “Does she make you happy?”

  Grant snapped up and stared at his friend. It seemed like such a cliché question, but it really was life wrapped up in a nutshell. “Yeah, she does.”

  “Well, there you fucking go.” Hank nodded. “Just be smart about it, and be happy. Shit always works out.”

  “Easier said than done.”

  “That’s the truth.”

  They tapped their bottles together.

  Grant knew what he needed to do, though. He needed to break it off with her until the semester came to an end. He had to let her go for a little while. She wouldn’t like the idea. Not at all.

  He knew her, though. Even if he pissed her off, she wouldn’t talk to anyone. She cared about him too much, and he cared about her too much to rob her of the college experience. She hadn’t even had a chance to date any college guys. Go to sporting events, parties. He was stealing it all from her.

  I’m being selfish.

  Throughout the course of their fling, he’d tried to convince himself it was what he needed to do. He’d ignored the feeling in his chest that told him to let her go, and he’d kept going, knowing he shouldn’t. As painful as it was, he had to let her go.

  He sighed and turned to Hank. “I don’t know what to tell her. We’ve never really talked about what we were doing, we’ve just been doing it. I guess I should go meet up with her?”

  Hank took a long time to respond. It seemed like Hank always thought through the entire equation, looking objectively at the situation, before answering. It was something Grant had always admired about him.

  “I don’t know. I would think it’s something you should do in person.” Hank set the empty beer bottle down and glanced at his phone.

  “That’s the problem. I don’t know if I can control myself with her in the room. It’s embarrassing to admit.” Grant stared up at the ceiling. “Fuck.”

  “Do what you gotta do, man. If you really care about her, you will.”

  Grant glanced over to Hank’s phone as well. “Got time for another round if you do.”

  Hank held up two fingers. “Bartender.”

  “Think it’s too much?” Kristen twirled around in front of the mirror while Stef watched from the bed.

  She wore a sequined mini skirt with a fitted black tank top. Her black boots reached over her knees, exposing a stretch of thighs up to the hem of her skirt.

  “You look great. But is it a good idea? Dating is a big step. I mean, you’ve been fucking, but sex is sex. Dinner is more than sex, and it’s very—public.”

  “Maybe it’s just dinner. Maybe it’s more. Who knows? Anyway, have a good day in class.”

  Excitement rushed through Kristen. She realized she hadn’t been this enthusiastic or had this kind of bounce in her step in a long time.

  Stefani waved as she stepped through the door. As soon as she was gone, Kristen looked herself over in the mirror once more. She couldn’t help but smile.

  Just then her stomach curdled, and she ran in the bathroom and hurled her breakfast.

  That’s weird.

  After a few minutes, the nausea passed. She didn’t feel like she had a fever, but she had drunk quite a bit last night. She stopped in front of the mirror once more, looking herself up and down one final time.

  She slipped out of her clothes and into some jeans for class.

  Happiness soon returned at the fact Grant had called her and asked her to dinner. He was finally committing to her outside of the bedroom. She could already imagine herself on his arm as they strode into a nice restaurant.

  She shook her head to snap out of her daydream so she could actually function. She needed to suffer through the routine of the day—but, once that was over, it was dinner with Grant, and she was determined to look stunning for him.

  Another wave of nausea rolled through her, but this time she put her hand on her stomach and took a deep breath. It quickly passed.

  What the fuck?

  She was on the pill. There was no way she was pregnant. It had to be something she’d eaten, or a mild hangover, or she was getting sick. She didn’t know what was going on. But she didn’t have the time to stress about it now.

  There were a lot of bugs going around campus. She’d probably caught one.

  ~

  “This is perfect.” Kristen sat down after Grant took her jacket from her shoulders, and then he pulled out the chair for her.

  He draped the jacket over the back of her chair and then walked around and took a seat across from her.

  It was a five-star restaurant and gorgeous. Candles sat on the table between them, and fine white linens hung from all the tables. It was a complete surprise. And they had the best seats in the place. Kristen’s heart thudded on her ribs as she glanced over the menu, trying to decide what she would have.

  Nobody had ever taken her to a place like this.

  There had to be a reason for it. This was the kind of place a man would take a woman if he was in a long-term, serious relationship.

  Oh m
y God.

  Was he going to ask her to be his girlfriend? She hadn’t even thought of being that serious with him, though things had heated up a lot the past month. Was he going to ask her to marry him?

  Her heart kicked into overdrive. Grant seemed like a cautious man, but he came alive around her. He was spontaneous as could be. Was this really happening? Butterflies swarmed her entire body, and her hand trembled on the crystal stemware when she picked up a glass of water to take a sip. Her whole body felt warm and tingly. Maybe the water would cool her down a little.

  Marriage had never really crossed her mind before right then. They were both the center of the other’s universe. How could he be doing anything other than taking them to the next level?

  Once they’d placed their orders, Kristen turned her attention to Grant with a flirty smile.

  “What’ve you been doing? I didn’t hear from you last night.” Kristen didn’t want to complain, but it was true. She’d expected him to have her come over, and he hadn’t. He was a grown man, though. His friend had stopped by, so she assumed they’d been hanging out.

  Grant was allowed to have friends.

  As long as they aren’t women.

  The sex had been off the charts with them, though. He’d pretty much fucked her any way she thought was possible, and her toes had curled, and she had came for him every single time.

  She took in a deep breath and just breathed him in. Any time he was around, she was in heaven. What she thought was just a crush at the beginning of the school year had turned into much more than she’d ever hoped for.

  She loved him.

  She hadn’t told him that because she didn’t want to scare him off, and because it seemed too soon to say the words. But now, him bringing her to this restaurant, showing her off publicly—she knew he was the same.

  He loves me.

  “Same as always. Midterms coming up. I have a lot of work to do.” Grant seemed to avoid eye contact.

  Aww, he’s nervous.

  She thought it was cute that he was having trouble getting his words out. It had to be something huge he’d planned. Her mind was reeling a thousand different directions. How did this man drive her so crazy? She lived and breathed for him.

  He fidgeted with things. Grant never fidgeted. He was always so calm and in control of every situation. It was one of the things that drew her to him.

  “Am I going to pass?” She flashed him a flirty smile. She wanted to reach out and touch his hand, but his face was nearly pale.

  He looked up, but instead of flirting back like usual, he just stared like he was looking a thousand yards past her. “Time will tell. I’m sure if you’ve studied hard, you’ll do fine.”

  She canted her head slightly to the side, and the waiter interrupted the awkward moment with their food.

  He thanked the waiter who set plates in front of each of them.

  “I was just kidding.”

  He glanced up. “Right, sorry.” He shook his head.

  She wanted to ask him what was wrong, but she didn’t want to press. It had to be nerves. It wasn’t every day you asked the person you loved to commit to you, possibly for the rest of your life.

  Suddenly, the nausea she’d felt earlier that morning crept up in a hurry. “Excuse me.” She ran to the bathroom and hurled in the expensive restroom.

  What the fuck is wrong with me?

  She pulled herself together in the mirror, ate a mint, and walked back to the table.

  God, he’s going to want to kiss me after he asks me to be his, or to marry him. Fuck, it’s going to ruin everything.

  She cursed her body for trying to sabotage her perfect night. Grant stood when she walked back and guided her back into her seat.

  “You all right?”

  She smiled and nodded. Finally, he was back. She liked caring, attentive Grant. And maybe later on, she would get her professor in the bedroom. The man who knew exactly what she loved and didn’t mind tying her up and fucking her to the point she couldn’t see straight.

  “Think I have the bug that’s going around.” She gave him a weak smile. “I’ll be fine.”

  “Yeah, being sick during mid-terms wouldn’t be fun. Hope it passes soon.”

  She didn’t want to talk about her stupid stomach. Kristen wanted Grant to get on with the conversation he wanted to have. But she didn’t want to rush him. He’d probably planned it all out in his head, how it’d go. That didn’t mean she couldn’t try and guide the conversation slowly that way. “What are we going to do when school is out in a few months? Gonna miss me?”

  Grant grinned slightly, but still avoided eye contact.

  “My parents expect me to come home. But I could stay in California.” Kristen stared at Grant, looking for some kind of reaction. She got nothing. “Still a little while to think about it, I guess.”

  “We have to stop seeing each other.”

  The words slammed into her chest like they’d been fired through a shotgun. At the same time, it was like a cold shard of ice stabbed into her heart. She wasn’t sure she’d heard him right. He still wouldn’t look at her. She wanted to say so many things, but all of them caught in her throat. All she could do was stare.

  As the words resonated, it felt like the walls of the place were closing in, and gravity was pulling her harder to the ground. Her chest constricted, and her tongue became thick in her mouth.

  “What’d you say?” She managed to keep her words calm and collected.

  “Look, this has been a lot of fun, but we both know it’s the right thing to do. We can’t be together.”

  This was all a disaster. It couldn’t be happening. What was worse was he wasn’t being cold and mean. His voice actually sounded tender and loving. She knew he felt something for her. He was weak for her. And now he wanted to end it all.

  Her chest heaved up and down as she fought for composure. Was it a panic attack? The last thing she wanted was to cause a scene in one of the most expensive restaurants in town.

  What made it even worse was she’d gotten all worked up for nothing. She’d allowed her thoughts to take her into the clouds with thoughts of a proposal, and it made the crash that much more intense. “Y-you brought me here to break up with me?”

  She felt tears form in her eyes, and she blinked them away. Kristen didn’t cry in front of anyone.

  Grant craned his head around the restaurant, scanning for anyone who might be watching them.

  “I brought you here because I thought you at least deserved this. I knew you wouldn’t take the news well. I didn’t want to take the easy way out with you.”

  She didn’t know what to say. Even when he was breaking up with her, he was trying to be sweet.

  She grabbed her napkin from her lap and tossed it in the middle of the table while she stood.

  Grant rose at the same time and reached out for her elbow, but she yanked it away.

  “Don’t touch me.” She whisper-screamed out of respect for the others in the restaurant, but people were already looking in their direction. The tension in the room could be cut with a knife.

  She saw two men glaring at Grant.

  “Let me take you home.”

  The bridge of her nose tingled, and she didn’t know if she could hold back the tears. She couldn’t remember ever feeling something like this. Like he had her shoulders pinned down and was punching her relentlessly in the stomach.

  She nodded at him. A nod that said get me the fuck out of here, now.

  Grant draped her jacket over her shoulders and hurried her out as quickly as he could.

  Humiliation, rejection, and a million other emotions slammed into her repeatedly as they walked toward the car.

  He opened the door for her, and she stepped in, still managing to hold in the tears as he drove her home in silence.

  Grant looked over like he might say something a couple of times but then would just stare back at the road.

  She didn’t want to talk about anything. She didn’t want to s
peak at all. Her stomach roiled anytime she even glanced in his direction.

  When Grant dropped her off, he attempted to lean in and give her a kiss on the side of her head, but Kristen held her hand up. “Don’t fucking touch me.”

  Truth be told, she thought she’d handled the news quite well, considering she wanted to flip the table over and throw her drink in his face. He’d broken her heart—completely crushed her. She opened the door and stepped out, pausing briefly as he stopped her.

  “I’m sorry.”

  She closed the door in silence. Didn’t even slam it. She walked up to her room and slipped into her bed.

  She clutched her pillow to her chest and finally let her emotions take over. A tear slid down her cheek and onto the bed.

  He’d broken her.

  Grant had to admit, he knew it was going to be difficult breaking things off with Kristen, but he’d expected a completely different outcome. Once he dropped her off, he went home and drank more than he could remember. He finished off his bottle of whiskey and tried everything he could to forget the events of the evening.

  The way she’d looked at him continued to haunt him through the night. It was impossible to get any kind of rest. He wanted to call her, text her, see if she was all right, but he had to let it run its course over the weekend. It was going to be the longest two days of his life.

  He knew it would’ve been better to wait until the end of the semester to break her heart, but he had no choice. The longer he dragged on what they were doing, the more difficult it would make things when they finally did break it off at the end of the year. He couldn’t send her home to her family completely shattered.

  Maybe this way the damage wouldn’t be permanent, and she could salvage some of her freshman year. She could heal faster this way.

  And so could he.

  He fought the urge to check on her. It would only make the situation worse. Not being able to talk to her was torture. Even though he’d broken her heart, he’d done the right thing. The nice restaurant. She deserved that much, at least.

  He knew Kristen adored him. She would do anything he asked. She had to be devastated.

  Fuck.

  Maybe the restaurant wasn’t the best thing to do. She’d probably gotten excited, thinking he was taking things to the next level.