Shatter Me (The Jaded Series, #1)

by Alex Grayson

  He finally releases my cheeks to rub the back of his head while glaring at Mia. “Damn it, Mia, I told you not to call me that!”

  Mia reaches up and ruffles his dark mop of hair like she would a child. “Well, play nice and you may get what you want then.”

  He reaches out and grabs Mia by her head and plants a kiss on her lips, making a loud smacking noise as he does. She chuckles as she walks off to serve a customer. He then turns towards me.

  “My name’s Andrew and under no circumstances can you call me Andy.” He says the name like it’s the most disgusting thing in the world. “I mean, seriously, who wants to be called a sissy name like that? Do I look like a sissy to you? The answer is no. With a body and looks like mine, I can only be an Andrew! I’m Andrew all the way, baby!” He says the last while holding out his arms to emphasize the goodness of his good looks.

  He glances over my shoulder and a huge grin graces his face.

  “And speaking of men with more good looks than they know what to do with, here comes the king himself. Hey, hotness!”

  I turn to see Jaxon making his way over to us. He has a concerned look on his face as he eyes me. I believe he’s worried that since Andrew is a man and an affectionate man at that that I may freak out because he acts so familiar with me. When he sees that I’m alright the frown lines disappear from his brow.

  “Hey, Andrew, how’s it going?” He asks when he’s standing in front of us.

  “Oh, you know, the same. Trying to hold off the horde of guys beating on my door. I keep telling them that I’m saving myself for my hot boss, but they just won’t listen. Now, come give Andrew a kissy kissy.” He puckers his lips at Jaxon and closes his eyes.

  I bug my eyes out at the picture before me. I glance over at Jaxon, expecting him to become angry or agitated with Andrew. What I witness next is totally unexpected. Jaxon slowly strolls up to Andrew and puts one of his hands on his cheek. He leans in so far that there couldn’t have been more than a few inches between both their lips. Just before their lips touch Jaxon says in his deep masculine voice, “Not. Gonna. Happen.” He then drops his hand and takes a step back to stand beside me.

  “Damn, so close yet so far away.” Andrew mumbles to himself.

  I can’t hold it in anymore. I tried to hold it back, but it’s just not possible. No sane person that saw and heard what I just did would be able to. I throw back my head and laugh a full body, clutching my stomach, laugh. I have tears streaming down my face and my face actually hurts from laughing so hard. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard in my life. It just keeps coming. I have no control over it.

  When I’m finally able to unbend my body to look up at the two people that were the cause of my mirth, I notice that Andrew is looking at me with his megawatt, dimpled smile. Jaxon is watching me with an expression that makes me nervous. The rest of my laugh dies a quick death at his look. There is so much heat and desire in his eyes. They’re no longer the violet and cornflower blue, but more of a deep purple and steel blue. The combination is astounding and mesmerizing. They hold me prisoner and all I can do is stare back at him.

  “Hmm...what do we have here? This could get very interesting. Good thing I’ve got front row seats. It’s about damn time.” I hear Andrew say, completely clueless as to what he’s referring to.

  Jaxon breaks the spell he has on me by glaring at Andrew. “Andrew, don’t,” he growls.

  Andrew raises his hands in an ‘it wasn’t me gesture’ and says, “Hey, hey, nothing going on over here. See? I’m minding my own business.” And with a wink to me he strolls off towards the other end of the bar.

  Jaxon turns back towards me and says, “As you can see Andrew is very special. You have to be dedicated to handle his brand of crazy.”

  “I heard that, hotness,” Andrew calls over his shoulder without turning around.

  “How are you doing out here, Angel?” Jaxon asks me. The endearment rolls off his tongue like he’s been saying it for years.

  “It’s been good. Although it’s been a few years since I worked a bar, it didn’t take long for me to get back in the groove of things.”

  “Everyone being nice to you?”

  “Yes, everyone’s been very nice. You have an amazing town full of very friendly people.” I wish so hard that I could have stumbled across this remarkable little town under different circumstances. I’ve only been here a few days and I’ve already gotten attached to it. Not to mention the people I’ve met so far have been amazing. It already hurts knowing that one day soon I’m going to have to leave this beautiful town, with its beautiful people, behind.

  “I just wanted to let you know that I’ve got all your stuff upstairs and that the fridge and pantry are now stocked. In a couple hours, once it winds down a bit, I’ll take you upstairs and show you around.”

  I give him a timid smile and reply, “That sounds great. Thank you again, Jaxon. I really had no idea how dangerous it could be sleeping in my car.” I shudder as I remember Jaxon’s warning of the dangers. Even a small town like this isn’t perfect, I guess.

  He leans back and rests his hands on the bar behind him. “No thanks needed, Angel. I’m just glad you allowed me to help you. I hope you know that if you ever need anything all you have to do is let me know.”

  I’m beginning to believe that what he says may be true. It’s such a strange feeling knowing that there are people around to help me if I need it. Of course, there’s no way I could ask him for the help that I really need. First, there’s nothing that he could do. Second, even if there was something that he could do, I wouldn’t put him, or anyone, in that situation. It would only put them in danger as well. There’s no way Steven would give me up without a fight. And when Steven fights, he fights dirty. He fights to win, no matter the cost or who around him gets hurt.

  Jaxon walks over to me and to my surprise I don’t feel the sudden need to run or hide. I guess my mind and body are starting to recognize him as not the enemy. He lifts his huge tattooed hand and rests it on the side of my neck. Although I may not have the urge to flee, my body still stiffens when he leans down and places his lips against my forehead. His lips linger and I swear that I hear him take a deep breath, like he’s taking in my scent.

  “See you later, Angel.” He whispers against my forehead and then turns and walks away.

  I stand there staring after him. What I wouldn’t give for Jaxon to be the guy that was at The Bryler the day my life changed. I know deep in my heart that he would be the type of man that I would never have to worry about inflicting pain on me. Under different circumstances, I know that he would be a man that I could easily fall in love with. He can be so very gentle at times, but he also has a fierceness to him, a fierceness that I’m slowly learning not to fear. I know that he would protect me, or anyone he cares about, with his life. I just don’t understand why he wants to protect me. I’m nobody to him, just a drifter that rolled into town with no money and only a car packed with second-hand stuff. What makes me so special for him to feel the need to keep me safe?

  A sudden knock on the bar brings me out of my thoughts and I turn around to find an exceptionally built, extremely tall, and extremely intimidating biker standing there looking at me.

  He’s not as tall as Jaxon and Andrew, but he definitely has some height to him. He has his long light brown hair pulled back into a ponytail that’s braided. He’s wearing the standard leather vest that most biker’s wear with several patches on the front. His arms, which are bare under the vest, are heavily muscled and sporting multiple tattoos. His face is covered with a thick, slightly darker brown mustache and beard.

  “Well, hey there, Miss Kitty. Why don’t you grab me three bottles of Bud and head on over to my table with me and my buddies and plant that sweet ass down on my lap.” The look on his face while he’s blatantly molesting me with his eyes causes me to shiver. I feel bile start to rise in my throat.

  He obviously mistakes my repulsive shiver for arousal because he lets loose
a toothy smile while he reaches his hand down beyond my view to his pants. Although I can’t see what he’s doing because the bar is in the way I know that he’s either adjusting himself or rubbing himself. Either way it causes the bile in my throat to come up even further.

  “Come on, sugar, what are you waiting for? Come plant that tight ass on Shady’s lap and shove those titties in my face.” His eyes start to gloss over and he licks his lips while he looks at my breast.

  I knew this was a mistake. There’s no way I can be around guys like him and not hyperventilate. My breathing has already become ragged and it feels like I can’t get enough air in my lungs. I’m scared and I have no idea what to do. I’m obviously not going to do what he wants, but I’m also afraid of what he’ll do if I don’t. He doesn’t seem like the type to take no for an answer. Although we’re in a place filled with people and in reality, he can’t really do anything with so many people around, it doesn’t help stop the panic that is starting to rise.

  As I’m standing there contemplating on what I should do, Mia slides up next to me and says, “Hey, Bailey, Andrew needs you to help him with something down at the other end of the bar.”

  I sigh in relief when I realize that she saw me down here all alone with a big hulking biker harassing me. I turn towards her and I can’t help the lone tear that crawls down my face. I am eternally grateful for her interference. This is the second time she’s rescued me from an uncomfortable situation.

  “Wait just a damn minute.” Shady says while banging his fists on the counter and causing me to jump. “Me and Miss Kitty here was just getting acquainted.”

  Mia turns to face the irate biker and places both of her hands on the scarred dark wood and leans over it.

  “That’s just too fucking bad, Shady. Bailey’s off limits. Go find some other unfortunate soul to play with.” She says with a sneer.

  “Says who?” Shady asks.

  “Says Jaxon. And if you’re smart you’d leave her alone. Understand what I’m sayin?”

  “Yeah, well, Jaxon can’t always have what he wants. He likes to think he’s the hot shot in this town. I think it’s time someone puts him in his place.”

  Oh God, what have I caused? It is because of me that Jaxon will get hurt. That’s the very last thing I want. He and his two sisters’ have been so kind to me. I can’t stand the thought of any of them being harmed because of my lack of courage.

  I want to say something to defuse the situation, but the words are stuck in my throat. Even the thought of any of the three getting hurt, which is unbearable, doesn’t give me the daring to face Shady. I just hope that Shady is bluffing, and if he’s not, then I can be woman enough to stand up for the people that are becoming important to me.

  Shady is still standing there with his fists on the bar and Mia is still leaning over it as far as her short body will allow.

  “And who’s going to put him there, Shady? You?” Mia says incredulously. She starts laughing. “You can certainly try, but I can guarantee the only person that’ll be put in his place won’t be him. You know this.”

  Mia turns towards me and pushes me lightly. “Go see what Andrew needs help with, Bailey.”

  I know that I won’t be any help, but I really don’t want to leave her alone with him. There is no telling what Shady will do. I’m sure he doesn’t take too kindly to being put in his place, especially by a girl. Yes, we’re surrounded by people, but it only takes one well-placed fist to the face to do significant damage, specifically to girl of Mia’s size.

  “I’ll be okay. Don’t worry about me. He won’t do anything.” She gently but forcefully pushes me again.

  I take a last look at Mia and see determination and anger in her eyes. My eyes flicker briefly to Shady before I turn around and start walking over to where Andrew is serving customers. I briskly walk up to him with the intention of telling him about the situation and hope that he can help Mia.

  “Andrew, you’ve got to help Mia. There’s this guy named Shady and he’s threatening Jaxon. She came up to help me when he was harassing me and she told him that Jaxon said I was off limits, whatever that means. He seems really angry and I’m worried he’ll hurt Mia. Please Andrew, go over there and help her.” I am out of breath by the time I get done. I’m so worried about Mia that the faster I get it out, the faster Andrew can make it to her.

  Andrew looks up and over my shoulder. He clenches his jaw and his eyes go the color of Onyx. I have always been able to tell if someone was angry or not from their facial expressions. It’s a talent that I was forced to learn to gauge Steven’s moods. He was so unpredictable that I had to find ways to figure out what he was feeling at the time. Right now I can see that Andrew is beyond livid. He may like to pick on Mia but it is clear that he cares deeply for her.

  Just when Andrew takes a step in their direction he stops. I turn to look at what’s going on and I see Shady making his way over to a table that has two other bikers. Mia steps from behind the bar and walks through the crowd. For a minute, I think she is going to Shady’s table to confront him again, but she veers clear of them and walks determinedly into the darkened hallway.

  I turn back and look up at Andrew. He’s shooting daggers in Shady’s direction.

  “Fucking Shady, always causing trouble. I don’t see why Jaxon allows his ass in here. He’s bad news and everyone knows it.”

  He tips his head down to me and asks softly. “Are you okay? He didn’t do anything to you, did he?”

  I shake my head. “No, he just said some nasty things to me.” I duck my head in embarrassment. I have no idea why I’m embarrassed. Andrew didn’t hear what Shady said to me.

  Andrew places his pointer finger under my chin and tips it up so I have to look at him.

  “Hey, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. You didn’t ask for that fucker to say those things to you. Shady’s always been loose with his words and he doesn’t shy away from what he wants. Jaxon will take care of him.”

  I close my eyes tight and whisper, “That’s just it, though. I don’t want to cause problems for Jaxon. I don’t want him, or anyone, to get hurt because of me. I’m not worth getting hurt over.” I say that not to gain attention because I have low self-esteem. I say it because it’s the simple truth. I’m a nobody that came from a dysfunctional family and then married a man that enjoyed torturing innocent people. I’m nothing special.

  “Wait, what?” Andrew asks, his voice sharp. I open my eyes at his tone. Now he sounds angry. The sweetness has gone from his voice. For the first time his gaze flickers to my scar before landing back on my eyes. “Why in the fuck would you think you’re not worth it? Bailey, I may not know you, but I do know you’re worth it. If I swung the other way, I would make it my life’s mission to protect you from guys like Shady. Hell, even with my preference, I would still kill any man that has such a small nut sack that he gets off on hurting women. Women are precious creatures that should never have to put up with assholes like him. You are worth it, Bailey, don’t ever forget that.”

  I don’t get a chance to reply because I see Jaxon out the corner of my eye walking out of the hallway. Andrew drops his hand and we both glance up to watch him make his way towards Shady’s table. Shady has his back to Jaxon so he’s clueless he has a very pissed off tattooed guy storming towards him.

  When Jaxon gets to his table, he says not one word to him before he grabs the back of Shady’s head and slams it face first against the wood. He then bends down to whisper something in his ear. Jaxon yanks Shady from his chair, still holding onto his neck and starts marching him towards the door. People are scrambling to get out of his way. Shady’s two friends begin to rise from their seats to follow, but Jaxon turns and points to them while saying something. It’s too loud in the bar to catch what he says but whatever it is it causes them to sit back down. Jaxon and Shady disappear out the door.

  I turn wide eyes to Andrew and ask, “What is he going to do?”

  “He’s gonna teach that stupid fuck to
not mess with what’s his.”

  “What! No! I’m not his, Andrew! I could never be his! I don’t want to be his! What if he gets hurt? You can’t let him do this! You have to go out there to make sure he’s okay!” I can’t believe this is happening. Why do men think they can just claim a woman and expect them to be okay with it? I’ve had enough violence to last me a lifetime. I want nothing to do it. Nothing is ever solved through violence.

  Why would Jaxon even want me? I’m flawed, on the inside and out. He knows this. I’ve never given him a reason to think that I want him in that way. Yes, he’s becoming a friend, even though I vowed to not let people get close to me, but there could never be more than that.

  I’m breathing heavily now. I’m confused. I can’t let Jaxon beat the crap out of someone under the misguided sense that I belong to him. I don’t understand why Jaxon would even think that. I also feel protective of him. I can’t stand the thought that at this very moment he may be getting hurt. I don’t want him as a woman wants a man, but I certainly don’t want him hurt. The very thought makes my heart ache.

  My eyes are pleading with Andrew to go out there to check on Jaxon.

  “Bailey, sweetie, he’s fine. Trust me. Jaxon is definitely not the person hurting right now. As far as you being his, you may as well get used to it now. You are definitely his. It doesn’t have to be a scary thing though. He considers Mia, Anna, and his Gram his as well and if it were any of them that was in your shoes he would be exactly where he is right now doing exactly what he’s doing. Jaxon is fiercely loyal and protective of his family. He’s latched onto you so you’re now considered part of that group. Embrace it Bailey. I don’t know what kind of family you have but know that you’ve just gained an exceptional one.”

  I want so much for his words to be true, but I know they can’t be. One day soon, once I save enough money, I’ll have to leave. The bonds that are starting to form between me and these amazing people will break and they’ll hate me. I don’t understand it, but for some reason these people like me and they think I’m worth something. When I leave, they’ll see that it was all a lie and they’ll be glad that I’m gone. The thought brings the never ending water works to my eyes.