Shatter Me (The Jaded Series, #1)

by Alex Grayson

  Besides, I know Nick is leaving again in a week and Anna is already missing him. She needs a little pick-me-up.

  When I walk into the diner an hour later, I spot Anna sitting at the counter talking to Nitra, who is behind the counter pouring coffee. I glance to my left as I make my way over to her and spot both Jaxon and Nick sitting at a booth shoveling food into their mouth. Jaxon notices me and his lips quirk up a bit before he gives me a wink.

  When I make it to the counter, I take a seat beside Anna and point over my shoulder with my thumb, “What’s up with that?”

  “Nick’s pouting because I’m going shopping with you and not spending the day with him. I explained to him that I needed a girl’s day so he decided to come anyway to the diner for breakfast. He forced an all-too-willing Jaxon to come along with him.”

  I glance over my shoulder towards the guys. I almost let out a laugh at the sad puppy dog look on Nick’s rugged and handsome face.

  “That boy has it bad,” Nitra says unnecessarily. Anyone that sees the two together knows that they both have it bad. I’ve never met a couple more into each other.

  “Maybe I’ll buy a cute little nightie today to make up for my ‘neglect’.” She air quotes the word ‘neglect’.

  Nitra and I both laugh at that.

  Her voice is low when she speaks again. “I’ve been talking to Gram about her hiring a part-time person so I can go on some of his business trips. I don’t know how much more I can take of him being gone so much. I know that sounds ridiculous and couples do it all the time but it literally hurts my heart to have to say goodbye to him all the time. He doesn’t know yet.”

  I reach over and squeeze her hand. “Oh sweetie, I’m so sorry.”

  “I can only imagine how hard it must be for you. You two have such a rare and special kind of love. If I’m ever lucky enough to find that I’m chaining the guy to my bed if he even thinks about leaving.” Nitra tells her.

  I let out a laugh because I can totally see Nitra doing just that. I don’t know her as well as Anna, but she has a strong personality that screams no bullshit. If she wants something, she goes after it.

  I smell his refreshing scent behind me before I actually feel Jaxon walk up. He wraps his arms around my middle from behind and he has his face in my hair. I hear him take in the scent of my hair. The last couple of days I’ve taken to wearing it up. Other than a few curious glances at my scar no one has outright asked me about it. It’s a huge relief. I have a lot of hair and it’s nice to be able to pull it back when I want to.

  “What are you doing here?” I ask in a breathless voice. Having him surround me like he is leaves me with little oxygen. The man is dangerous for my health. Luckily it’s a good kind of dangerous.

  “Nick asked me to tag along with him. Said Anna wants a girl’s day but he wanted to see her before you both left. Even if he didn’t have breakfast with her at least he would be able to see her. Sounds pathetic but I have to admit I jumped at the opportunity to see you too. I hate giving up my morning ritual with you.”

  “I think she might have something planned to make it up to him.” With a twinkle in my eye I turn my head to talk to him so she won’t hear.

  Jaxon groans in my ear. “Stop. I don’t need that shit in my head. It’s already bad enough thinking about my little sister in any type of relationship. I don’t need a visual as well.”

  I giggle a little and glance over at Anna. She’s turned her stool to face Nick and they are talking quietly. Nick dips his head and gives Anna a soft kiss. I turn my head back towards Jaxon.

  “She’s a grown woman, Jaxon. And she seems like she’s in good hands.” I remind him quietly.

  “I know, but she’ll always be my little kid sister. And I’ll always want to protect her.” He mutters back.

  I smile at him. He’s such a good guy. He’s tough when he needs to be, but he’s highly protective of the ones he cares about. Why can’t all men be like that?

  “Hey Jax, you ready to go?” Nick asks Jaxon.

  “Yeah, give me a sec,” Jaxon tells him and then steps around the side of me. He tangles his fingers in my hair and to bring my head back. His lips land softly on mine and he gives me a lingering kiss. After several seconds, he pulls back.

  “Have fun today, Angel. Let me know when you get back.”

  “Okay,” I whisper.

  He gives me one more peck on the lips before he and Nick stroll out of the diner.

  Just as soon as the men leave another set of men approach us. Jack and Jake. This should be interesting. Of course, the very first thing Jack zones in on is my hair.

  “Ah ha! I see you finally worked up the courage to show off that beautiful face of yours, girl.” The grizzly old man says.

  “Ole Lordy,” Jake says and rolls his eyes to the ceiling. “Don’t start that mess again, Jack.”

  “You shut your trap, Jake. I’m talking to the lady, not you.” Turning to me he says, “Now, where were we? Oh, that’s right. I was about to ask you how you got that scar there on your face?”

  I choke on my coffee and spew some across the counter at his question.

  “Jack!” Anna and Nitra yell at the same time.

  Picking up a napkin, I start cleaning my mess. Out the corner of my eye, I see Jake take Jack by his upper arm and drag him across the diner. Turning his head back to me as he walks he says, “Jack apologizes, Bailey. Y’all enjoy your breakfast.” With his head facing forward again, I hear him say, “My God, Jack. You really don’t have a filter, do you? You can’t blurt something like that out you dummy.”

  Barely audible but I still hear Jack respond, “What did I say?”

  Anna, Nitra, and I look at each other and burst out laughing. Those two old men really are nut jobs. After Anna and I order our breakfast and Nitra sticks around for a few more minutes to chat before she goes and serves other people. After we’re done we pay our bill, gather our purses, and head out.

  “So, how are things between you and Jaxon?” Anna asks me while browsing the bra and panties section in the cute little lingerie shop we’re in.

  “Things are good.” I pick up a black body suit that reveals way more than it shows. The sides are virtually nonexistent. The only thing connecting the top and the bottom is a scrap of silk material that runs from the bust down to the thong. The scrap of material gets a little bigger the closer it gets to the bottom. I turn the body suit around and there’s nothing there except the thong and a string that wraps around your neck.

  I shake my head because there’s no way I would be caught dead in something like that. I don’t see how anyone could wear something so uncomfortable looking.

  “What about this one?” Anna holds up a black lace nightie that has tiny Rhine Stones all over it. On the bust between the cups is a pink bow. The panties that are attached to it also has Rhine Stones. It’s actually really cute. Not something that I would be brave enough to wear but, then again, I wouldn’t wear anything revealing.

  “I really like that one. You should get it. Nick will definitely thank you for it.”

  She eyes the slip of material for another minute and then settles it over her arm. “Hmm...maybe.”

  “Do you know how long Nick is supposed to be gone this time?” I pick up another number and immediately put it back down, blushing as I do so.

  “A week, maybe two.” I see a frown line appear on her brow. It must be terrible to watch the one you love leave time after time. I’ll have to make sure she has plenty to do while he’s gone. Anything to distract her.

  “So, I noticed that you and my brother are spending more and more time together. Y’all seem to be getting close.” I know that she’s trying to change the subject. I let it go because I don’t want to dampen our outing with sad thoughts.

  “We are actually, but I don’t know if I can let him get too close. I’ve got too much baggage and I don’t want to drag him down.” Even though it’s getting easier to talk about things I still never reveal too much.


  She looks at me with sympathy in her eyes. “It’s okay to let him in, Bailey. I may not know the details, but I know you’ve had a rough life. Let him, and us, try and help you. Believe it or not Jaxon’s life hasn’t been a walk in the park either.”

  I frown. It’s getting harder and harder to resist telling Jaxon about my problems, to let him help me. Right as I decide to tell him I remind myself that there’s nothing he can do and all that’ll happen is him getting hurt.

  “You don’t understand, Anna. There’s nothing that he can do. There’s nothing that anyone can do. He’ll only end up getting hurt.”

  “Has Jaxon told you about Kaylee yet?” She asks me.

  I’ve learned a lot about Jaxon over the last several weeks, but I don’t ever remember him mentioning a person named Kaylee.

  “No.”

  “I won’t tell you about her. It’s not my place. He’ll tell you about her when he’s ready. But know this, Jaxon has a lot of pull in this town. You don’t give him the credit he deserves.”

  I look at her and see sorrow in her eyes. Now, I’m curious as to what the story is behind this Kaylee person.

  “He told me about your dad. I’m really sorry.” I tell her softly.

  The sorrow that I saw a minute ago is quickly replaced by anger. The transformation is stunning. I swear I won’t be surprised if I see snakes popping out all over her head. Obviously, and with good reason, the subject of her dad is very touchy and still enrages her.

  “That son of a bitch can burn in the deepest bowels of hell for all I care. And he can take that skank with him. Yes, it hurt Mia and I but it almost destroyed Jaxon what those two did. It changed him, made him jaded. Since that bitch did what she did he never stayed with any one woman more than a week or two. Until you. You bring out the protective, caring, and vulnerable side in him. He cares for you deeply, Bailey. Please don’t hurt him.” By the time she ends her rant the heat has left her eyes. Now, all I see is earnestness, like she begging me. She has no idea that I would give almost anything to not hurt Jaxon.

  Not knowing what to say I just nod my head.

  Anna watches me like she’s trying to gauge my reaction to her request. I hold her stare and after another minute she must like what she sees because she gives me a megawatt smile.

  “Alrighty, enough with the heavy. I’ve decided that this is the outfit that I’m going to wear to rock Nick’s world.” She holds up the black nightie with the Rhine Stones.

  “He won’t know what hit him.” I smile back at her.

  “I’m going to go pay and then we’ll stop and get some ice cream before we head back! Are you sure you don’t want to get anything in here?”

  I mentally shudder at the thought of wearing any of these outfits. “No, I’m good. You go pay.”

  She turns around and bounces off the only way Anna can bounce. I chuckle at her excitement to get back to Nick and ‘rock his world’.

  My laugh soon dies when I think about what Anna has told me today. As much as I don’t want to hurt Jaxon I know that eventually I will. I don’t know how deep his feelings for me run but for some reason both Anna and Andrew think that his feelings are pretty strong. If what they say is true when I leave, it’s bound to hurt him. I may not be aborting his baby, I swallow at the thought, or leaving with another man, much less his father, but I know that it’ll hurt regardless.

  Of course, it’s going to almost kill me to leave him. I don’t know if what I’m feeling for him is love or not, my experience in that department is seriously lacking, but I do know that what I’m feeling is so much more than I’ve ever felt before. Even the thought of leaving sends a sharp pain in the area where my heart is.

  Chapter Thirteen

  I am a total wreck. Today is the day that I meet Jaxon’s mom. From what I gathered I know that Anna, Nick, and Mia will be there. His gram couldn’t make it because she’s needed at the diner. He said that his aunt, uncle, and cousins might be stopping by as well. I don’t know if it’s normal for his aunt, uncle, and cousins to attend the family dinners every week or if it’s because Jaxon has never brought any girls there before, except Cara of course. Either way just knowing that I’m going to meet his mom is making me jittery.

  What does someone wear to things like this? Steven’s parents were both dead when we met and he had no other family. This is new for territory to me. Of course, my clothing selection is very limited and what I do have is nothing to write home about. My wardrobe consists of mostly jeans and t-shirts. Not very impressive. Ugh! I knew I should have bought something at the mall the other day!

  Here’s another problem. How do I wear my hair? Should I leave it down to try and hide my scar? Or do I pull it back like I want to and not hide who I am? I don’t see Jaxon letting me get away with keeping it down. For some reason, he likes it when I pull it back, which I find slightly weird because my scar is hideous. I decide to pull it back. No sense in pretending to be someone I’m not.

  With that decision made I walk to my closet and riffle through my clothes. Jeans, jeans, and more jeans. Just before I start pulling my hair out at my lack of finding something appropriate I hear a knock on my door.

  After checking the peephole, I pull it open to see a smiling Anna on the other side. In her hands, she has two small duffle bags.

  I frown at her and ask, “Are you moving in?”

  She gives off a laugh and walks pass me straight to my room. By the time I walk in she’s set the two bags down and has already opened them, pulling out several pieces of clothing.

  “Nope, I’ve come to save the day. I know you don’t have anything besides jeans and t-shirts. I also know you would be freaking out right about now because all you have is jeans and t-shirts. I know you’re nervous about meeting our mom and will want to try and impress her, which is totally unnecessary. But hey, we’re girls and it’s in our nature. Sooo...I’ve come bearing gifts! My clothes. Now, all we have to do is choose what you want to wear.”

  By the time she gets done with her little speech she has all the clothes strewn across my bed. There’re bright colored dresses and skirts, blouses, and slacks in one bag. In the other are several pairs of shoes. Luckily, we both wear the same size shoes and are close in height and weight.

  I’ve never had a girlfriend that I can share clothes with. Well, I had Chris but she’s a little taller and slimmer than me so we weren’t really able to wear each other’s clothes.

  This is strange but nice.

  I quickly grab Anna and give her a hug. “Thank you,” I say into her hair before pulling away. “I know it’s ridiculous but I really want your mom to like me. I’ve never had dinner with a guy’s family before. I’m so screwed up and I don’t want to give her anymore reason not to like me.”

  She looks at me tenderly and rubs my back. “My mom is going to love you, Bailey. You’re crazy to think she won’t. There’s so much more to you than all the bad that’s happened.”

  Her words touch something deep inside me. How did I get so lucky to stumble across this town and meet these amazing people? The longer I stay, the harder it’s going to get when I have to leave. Can I take a chance and stay? Can I stay even if Steven finds me? Can I be strong enough and fight against him? I know that it will be worth the risk of him finding me. The only thing holding me back is the possibility of Jaxon or anyone else getting hurt.

  Anna interrupts my thoughts when she claps loudly and says, “Okay, let’s get started!”

  In the end, we decide on an ankle length flowing violet skirt and a lime green off the shoulder blouse, with a white tank underneath. My shoes are an off-white pair of ballet shoes. I was worried that I would be too bright and colorful, but Anna insisted that it was perfect.

  As I stand in front of the mirror, I have to admit she was right. I’m enthralled at how pretty I look. I compromised with myself on my hair. I left it down but pulled both sides back with clips.

  I decide to put in a quick call to Chris before Jaxon is due to be here.
We don’t talk long, just update each other on what’s happened since the last time we talked. I tell her about my impending visit to meet Jaxon’s mom. Of course, I don’t tell her it’s because Jaxon wants me too meet her, instead I say it was Anna’s idea. I still haven’t told her much about Jaxon and the guilt weighs on me. I hate keeping secrets from her.

  A few minutes after I hang up with Chris, Jaxon knocks on my door and I grab my purse. He’s picking me up and we’re both heading to his mom’s house.

  When I open the door, I’m struck dumb again by how good he looks. Tonight he’s wearing a pair of low slung hip hugging jeans, sans holes this time, and a dark green button up shirt. The sleeves are rolled up, revealing his colorful arms. His jet black hair is once again a sexy mess. He truly is a sight to behold.

  We both stand there quietly in the entryway taking each other in. Jaxon is the first to break the silence. He takes a step through the door and grabs my hand, bringing the palm of it to his lips for a kiss.

  “You look absolutely beautiful, Angel.” He says softly while gazing into my eyes.

  I smile at him and respond with, “You look quite handsome yourself, Jaxon.”

  He gently tugs me to him and wraps his arms around me. When he leans his head down for a kiss, I reach up on tippy toes to meet him halfway. The second his lips and tongue touch mine I feel the flutters in my stomach and the thought of meeting his mom drift away. This man does that to me. He makes me feel relaxed and okay with the world.

  I drop my purse and throw my arms around his neck to pull him closer to me. One of his hands travels down my back to rest right above my butt while the other goes into my hair and grips it lightly.

  After several more minutes of our greeting, we slowly pull apart. Jaxon rests his forehead against mine.

  “We gotta go. Mama is waiting for us. She’s anxious to me you.”