Shatter Me (The Jaded Series, #1)

by Alex Grayson

At the reminder, the butterflies make their way back into my stomach. Jaxon must notice because he cups my face and sweeps his thumb across my cheek.

  “Hey, it’ll be okay, I promise.”

  I take a deep breath and nod. Jaxon reaches down to grab my purse and hands it back to me. After grabbing my hand and taking my keys from me we walk out the door and he locks it.

  Instead of the motorcycle that I expected to see we walk up to a big black truck. He opens the door and helps me climb inside. I secure my seatbelt while he walks around and gets in.

  The drive to his mom’s house takes about ten minutes. I have to say that ten minutes is not long enough for me to get control of the nerves racking my body.

  The house that we pull up to is not what I expected. Many of the houses that are in the area are big two story houses. The one we pull up to isn’t exactly small, but then again, it is compared to what I’ve seen so far.

  It’s a light blue, almost white, with a front porch that runs the length of the front and one side. There’s a nice little porch swing at one end that also has two rocking chairs with a small table between them. It’s all very homey.

  When Jaxon leads me up the stairs, the front door opens and a small petite woman steps outside. Her hair consists mostly of gray but I can tell it used to be a sandy blonde color. It’s swept up off her face in a messy bun in the back. I immediately know this is Jaxon’s mom. Not because they look alike but because she has the exact same eyes as Jaxon. Eyes that are watching me with open curiosity and adoration.

  Jaxon lets go of my hand and envelopes her in a hug. She smacks her lips against his cheek and the sound brings a smile to my lips.

  After they release each other Jaxon steps to the side and gestures for me to step forward. As soon as I do I’m wrapped in a warm embrace that smells like cinnamon cookies. I’m stunned at first but then wrap my arms around Jaxon’s mom and soak in the warmth and sweet smell. Then I feel soft lips on my cheek, right over my scar, and hear a loud smack.

  I can’t help but release a little giggle at the smack.

  We step apart from each other and with a smile Jaxon puts his arm around my waist.

  “Bailey, I’d like you to meet my mom, Lillian. Mama, this is Bailey.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, ma’am.” I greet her.

  “Oh no, sugar, you call me Lilly or Mama. And I am so very excited to finally meet you.” She grabs my hand and pulls me away from Jaxon and leads me inside. “If I know my Jaxon then I would say he’s very hungry. That boy nearly ate me out of house and home when he was little. Dinner is almost ready.”

  I hear a chuckle behind me and that says Jaxon is right behind us. I’m so overwhelmed and surprised by Lilly’s immediately acceptance of me that I willingly let her pull me along until we reach the kitchen.

  The kitchen is just like I would have imagined a kitchen to look like if I had a normal happy family. It’s big. There’s a wooden table that seats six people. Next to it is a smaller table that looks to be for kids. All the appliances are stainless steel. Above the sink is a big planter window that holds a few small plants. Through the window, I can see a couple small children playing on a swing set.

  Standing in front of the island is Anna smashing something in a bowl and Mia tossing a salad.

  “Hey, Anna and Mia.” I greet them.

  Anna drops whatever she is smashing and runs over to give me a hug. “I told you everything will be okay.” She whispers in my ear before stepping away again.

  Mia looks over at me and quirks up her lips. “Hey, Bailey.”

  I turn my head around and see Jaxon leaning against the doorway watching me. The expression on his face is content, like he enjoys seeing me in his mom’s kitchen.

  I look to Lilly, who is grabbing a pitcher of tea out of the fridge. “Is there anything I can do?”

  “Actually, if you wouldn’t mind you can set the table for me please.” She points to a stack of dishes sitting off to the side. I grab them and start laying them out on the table. There are three plastic plates and spoons for the kids and I set them down on the smaller table.

  Just when I get done the back door bangs open and I hear little feet running.

  “Stop right there Sarah, Michael, and Maddie. You know better. Shoes off,” comes a feminine voice from behind me.

  When I turn around, I see a woman that looks to be in her mid to late 30’s approaching the three little kids that are slowly making their way back to the door. After she’s done helping the children with their shoes she stands up and graces me with a friendly smile.

  “Hey, Bailey right?” She walks to me and holds out her hand.

  I take her hand in mine and smile in kind. “Yes, that’s me.”

  “I’m Patricia, but everyone calls me Tricia. I’m Lilly’s way little sister.”

  I look from Lilly to Tricia and would have never guessed they were sisters. Yes, they look alike but you can plainly see the age gap between them.

  Lilly and Tricia both start laughing. “Our parents went through a crisis phase and decided to have another child in their 40’s. Tricia was the results.” Lilly pipes in.

  “Anyway,” Tricia starts speaking again, “These little rascals are mine and Hunter’s. Hey, rug rats, get over here and meet Bailey.”

  Three sets of eyes regard me wearily. I squat down to their level so as not to intimidate them. The first little girl, which looks to be about three points to my scar and asks, “My name is Maddie. Wah happen to your fwace? You got a boobie.”

  I hear several chuckles and I sputter out a laugh at her butchered version of ‘booboo’. “I had an accident and hit my head.”

  She lifts her hand lightly and runs her finger along the puckered skin. “Did someone kiss it bedder?”

  Tears spring to my eyes at her innocent little question.

  “Kiss, kiss.” I know immediately that she wants to kiss my ‘boobie’. I bend down and she plants a small kiss right on my scar. When she pulls back, she has a huge grin on her face and says, “bedder!” before running out of the room.

  It takes everything in me not to start crying. Never have I had anyone want to kiss my boo-boo’s better. That little girl just stole my heart in 5 seconds flat. I quickly glance around the room and see all eyes are on me.

  The little boy steps up next and whips out his hand. “Hi, I’m Michael and I’m five.”

  I take hold of his hand gently and shake it. “Hi Michael, my name is Bailey. It’s very nice to meet you.”

  “Do you like my uncle Jax?” His question takes me off guard and I look up to Jaxon. He has a small smile playing on his lips.

  I look back down to Michael and answer his question. “Yes, Michael I do like your uncle Jax. Is that okay?”

  “Yeah, I guess so. Are you going to marry him and make babies? Cause I need someone else to play with. I’m tired of playing with my two sisters.” He says with a pout.

  It feels like a sucker punch to my stomach. That’s two things I could never have with Jaxon; marriage and babies.

  I’m saved from answering Michael’s question because Tricia walks up to him and says, “Okay, that’s enough questions mister. Let Sarah meet Bailey now.”

  Not fully recovered from the heartbreaking reality of things, a cute little girl looking to be about the same age as Michael walks up to me. I know that they must be twins.

  “You must be Sarah. I’m Bailey.” She just nods her head, not saying anything. She’s still eyeing me with trepidation.

  We both stare at each other for several seconds before her eyes start to water. I’m completely shocked at what I see. What did I do? Why does it look like she’s going to cry?

  “Y-you won’t take J-Jaxon away will you?” She asks while her bottom lip starts quivering.

  I glance back up to Jaxon again and see a frown appear on his face. He walks over and hunkers down next to me in front of Sarah.

  “Sarah Jane, look at me.” He tells her. When she pulls her watery gaze from me an
d looks at him, he continues. “No one could ever take me away from you, okay. You’re my Jelly Bean.”

  She looks back at me for confirmation and I cup my hand over her tiny cheek. “I promise that I would never take Jaxon away from you.”

  After another few seconds, she simply nods and launches herself at Jaxon, who immediately wraps his arms around her. With her still in his arms we both stand up.

  When Jaxon walks away to the table to sit with Sarah in his lap Tricia walks up to me. “For some reason she’s attached herself to Jaxon. It’s always been that way.”

  We both stand and watch the two of them talking quietly. A couple minutes later Jaxon says something to Sarah that makes her laugh. It sounds so sweet and carefree. Nothing like the insecure little girl of a few minutes ago.

  The back door opens and closes again and we both turn towards it.

  “And there’s my Hunter. Come meet Bailey, Hunny.” She gestures to me with her hand.

  He’s tall but not quite as tall as Jaxon. He has light brown hair cut close to his head and kind hazel eyes.

  “It’s good to meet you, Bailey. Jaxon’s talked about you a lot. It’s nice to finally put a face with the name.” My eyes dart over to Jaxon again, who still has Sarah in his lap. I wonder what he’s said about me.

  “It’s great to meet you, too. You have a beautiful family.”

  He drapes his arm around Tricia and gives her a squeeze. “Thank you. I think they’re pretty beautiful myself.” He says while gazing down at his wife.

  “Alright, who’s ready to eat?” Lilly says loudly.

  We all gather around and take our places at the table. While I was busy meeting the kids Lilly and Anna had quietly set all the food on the table. We’re having country fried steak, mashed potatoes, corn, sweet peas, homemade biscuits, and salad. It all looks delicious.

  I’ve never had family dinners where everyone sits down at the table to eat. Steven and I would eat at the table, but it was always a quiet affair. This gathering is anything but quiet. It’s like they all separate into little groups and talk amongst themselves. Everyone has something to say. Even the little ones are talking to each other while they eat. This is what a true family is like. It’s a little daunting to watch, but I love it just the same.

  Jaxon was right. I had nothing to worry about. For some reason, these people have taken me in and accepted me. I have no idea why, but it shouldn’t surprise me. Jaxon and Anna both have been nothing but kind to me. Mia has been nice as well, even if a little quiet and distant. I should have known that the rest of his family would be the same. After all, it was their mother that helped raise them into the people they currently are.

  After dinner, the women take care of cleaning the kitchen while the men take the children outside to play. Lilly and I are at the sink, I’m washing while she dries and puts the dishes away.

  “Jaxon’s told me a little about you but hasn’t gone into detail. Where are you from?”

  Feeling a little uncomfortable with the direction she may take with this conversation I say nervously, “I grew up in a small town in south Georgia.”

  “Do you still have family there?”

  “I actually don’t know. I haven’t spoken with my family in years. I don’t even know if they’re still alive.” That’s the truth. The last time I saw my parents they were drunk, high, and in their bed with a couple other people. Of course, I don’t tell Jaxon’s mother this.

  “Oh sugar, I’m so sorry. That must be awful for you.”

  I shrug my shoulders. “Not really. I was happy to get away from them. Let’s just say they weren’t the nicest of people.”

  She turns toward me with understanding in her eyes. “It still must be hard for you. My parents were wonderful people, but I still understand the pain of loving someone that treats you bad. Jaxon, Mia, and Anna’s dad had a cruel streak that was a mile wide at times. He was the kindest person when I first met him but it went bad somewhere along the way. Even though it hurt when he left I couldn’t help but feel a tiny bit of relief as well.”

  I look down at the plate I’ve been scrubbing for the past couple minutes. “I’m really sorry what happened. Jaxon told me a little bit about it.”

  “It’s okay sugar. I’ve been over it for a long time now. Actually, and don’t tell Jaxon because he would have a fit, but I’ve been seeing someone in town. We’re getting pretty serious. I think I love him.” She excitedly whispers the last to me.

  She smiles at me and I smile right back. I reach over with one arm and give her a squeeze. “I’m so happy for you. And I won’t tell Jaxon. I’ll let you give him the good news.”

  “I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready to tell him. Ever since his father left he’s been extremely protective of the girls in the family. I know I’m his mother and am able to do whatever I want, but I just can’t begrudge him that protective instinct. It’s something that he needs to do, especially after what happened with Kaylee.”

  That’s the second time the name Kaylee has been brought up. My curiosity is becoming stronger. I want to know more about this Kaylee person but feel I don’t have the right to ask about her. If I can’t tell Jaxon about my past, I have no right asking about his.

  “You know, his protective instinct extends to you as well. Jaxon’s told me that something bad has happened to you in the past, but you don’t feel comfortable yet talking to him about it.”

  I hand over the pot I had just washed to her before replying, “It’s not that I don’t feel comfortable telling him about my past. It’s just that there’s nothing he can do to help me. I’m so scared that if he knows he’ll end up getting hurt. I know he feels protective of me and once he finds out he’ll feel like he has to do something. There’s nothing he can do. There’s no sense burdening him with my problems.”

  Lilly reaches over and grabs my hand that is still in the dish water. I glance up at her. “I understand your reasoning Bailey but you have to look at it from Jaxon’s point of view. He knows something is tormenting you and he feels helpless because you won’t let him in. Feeling helpless is one of the worst feelings a person can have.”

  As I look into one of the two set of the most unique eyes I have ever seen I can’t help but wish that my mom was like Lilly. What would it have been like to have a mom like her? Jaxon’s very lucky to have her.

  “Anyway, if you ever need to talk, about anything, I’m here for you, okay?” I nod and look away before she can see the teary emotion in my eyes at her kind words.

  Once the dishes are done we all step out back and watch the kids play. Another twenty minutes slides by when Jaxon walks up to me and asks if I’m ready to go. I tell him yes and we make our goodbyes to everyone before getting back into his truck.

  Back at my apartment I ask Jaxon if he wants to come in for coffee. Coffees in hand we head over to the couch to watch some television. One of my favorite shows is on, The Walking Dead.

  On either end of the couch is a recliner. Jaxon sits on one end and pulls the lever to release the foot portion. Then he pushes on the back of the couch so it reclines back. He pats the cushion beside him, “Come lay with me, Angel.”

  I take a seat beside him and he places his arm around me, pulling me closer to him. I lay my head on his chest and put my hand on his flat stomach.

  We lay just like that for several minutes before my eyes start to drift closed. The emotional roller coaster of today has finally caught up with me and before I know it, I’m oblivious to the world.

  Chapter Fourteen

  I’m standing behind the bar enjoying the peace and quiet before the evening crowd starts showing up. There are a few lingering around, but it’ll be another hour before it really picks up. As I stand there, I think about the task I set for myself.

  Earlier today when I was eating my lunch at Maggie’s Diner I spoke with Maggie about adding my lasagna to her menu. She was reluctant at first because lasagna isn’t something you would normally see on a diner menu. However, when she
saw my excitement and heard my explanation on the deliciousness of it she agreed to at least try it. Before work tomorrow I plan on making a batch and bringing it over to the diner. I’m more than willing to make several batches several times a week if she’s willing to try it out on her customers. If I leave, which that decision is still up in the air, I can give her my recipe if the customers like it.

  Pulling myself from my thoughts I look over and see Mia and Mac once again bickering. Those two and their relationship is one of the most frustrating things to try and figure out. When they’re put together, it seems like all they to do is pick on each other. Separate them far enough to where they can’t talk to each other and you can plainly see the longing glances they give to the other when one isn’t looking. They’ve obviously meant something to each other in the past. It’s even more apparent that something bad happened that broke that bond.

  Further down I see Andrew flirting unashamedly with a male customer. He has on another ridiculous shirt. This one says ‘I think my friend is gay. Every time he looks at me my dick gets hard.’ Shaking my head I continue to watch him. He’s leaning across the bar toying with the guy’s fingers. It’s quite clear by the look on the guy’s face that he’s not opposed to Andrew’s attention. All of a sudden Andrew reaches across the bar, grabs a hold of the front of the guy’s shirt and practically drags him over the counter. Once there, Andrew slams his lips over the guys.

  It’s a sight to behold watching two guys kiss, something I’ve never seen before. My face flushes and I know I should look away, but I can’t. It’s not something that I thought would interest me, but interest me it did. Not in the sense that I would like to see more of it or to see how it progresses. Just something that’s different and slightly arousing.

  After a couple of minutes of tongue war, the two break apart. The guy looks like he is in a kiss induced stupor. Andrew licks his lip and I see him briefly glance over the guy’s shoulder. I follow is line of site and see Jaxon and Nick playing pool. Poor guy has it bad. Even though it may not be with the man he wants it looks like Andrew may get lucky tonight.