What I Wish I Knew When I Was 20

by Tina Seelig

  A few months after I started my list, I was asked to give a talk to students in a business leadership program at Stanford, and I decided to use the list for inspiration. I crafted a talk called “What I Wish I Knew When I Was 20,” in which I wove together these concepts with short video clips of entrepreneurial thought leaders from our Stanford lecture series. The talk resonated with the students, and soon thereafter I was asked to give this lecture in other venues, first across campus, then across the country and the world.

  Buoyed by the enthusiastic response, I wrote a short book proposal on my flight back from United States Military Academy at West Point, where I had given the talk to all the new cadets. I shared the proposal with a colleague’s book agent. He was not at all excited about it and suggested I go back to the drawing board. Somewhat dejected and busy with a zillion other things, I didn’t revise it. The book proposal sat quietly in a file on my computer.

  Two full years later, I was on an early morning flight from San Francisco, on my way to a conference in Ecuador. After breakfast was served, I started a conversation with the man sitting next to me, named Mark. He was the publisher of HarperOne in San Francisco, and by the end of the flight we had found several common interests related to education and publishing. About halfway through the flight, I took a small risk and showed him the book proposal, which was conveniently hibernating on my computer. Mark politely scanned it and told me he wasn’t interested. Strike two. At the end of the flight we exchanged contact information, and I reached out to him periodically with updates on projects I was doing in my classes.

  About a year after we met, I sent Mark some short videos from the Innovation Tournament, described in detail in the first chapter of this book. He was intrigued and surprisingly wanted to discuss the possibility of publishing a book with one of the student teams based on their project. Honestly, I was a bit hurt that he wanted to work on a book with my students and not with me. But, of course, I made the introductions.

  Mark and his colleagues came to campus to meet with the students, who weren’t interested in writing a book. They were graduating and heading off in all different directions. While on campus, I met a senior editor on Mark’s team. By the end of our lunch, he suggested that I might write a book based on the work I was doing in my classes. I told him that, in fact, I already had a book proposal and sent him the exact same document I had shared with the book agent and with his boss.

  Great news! Within a few weeks I had a book contract. Bad news. I had only four months in which to write the book so that it would be out in time for graduation. With six weeks of travel coming up and a full plate of other commitments, I drew upon everything I could to get this project done. I wrote three hours every morning, and anyone or anything that crossed my path during that time ended up in the book. I was a virtual vacuum for stories that reinforced the concepts. Remarkably, the book came out on Josh’s twentieth birthday, and I was delighted to hand him the first copy I received.

  To me, I had done my job!

  But something surprising happened. The book took off, not only in the US but also around the world. The messages apparently resonated with people of all ages in vastly different cultures, including Japan, China, Korea, Thailand, Turkey, Russia, Brazil, Israel, and Germany. I started getting letters from people in these countries, saying they were hungry for the ideas in the book. Each person found different things meaningful to them. Some focused on the stories about recovering from failure, others were moved by the lessons on challenging assumptions, some were inspired by those who figured out how to leverage limited resources to accomplish remarkable things, and others were just waiting for permission to follow their own path. Hopefully, this book has provided you with fuel that will propel you into your next decade. It is remarkable what can happen in ten years!

  With deep appreciation,

  Tina Seelig

  April 20, 2019

  Portola Valley, California

  Acknowledgments

  There are so many people to thank for helping to bring this book to life. Most important, I want to thank you. If it weren’t for readers who found the original words meaningful, I would never have had a chance to create a ten-year edition of this book. I am deeply appreciative for that opportunity.

  For both editions, I was fortunate to learn from the experiences of others who shared their stories and lessons with me. This includes Lisa Benatar, Soujanya Bhumkar, Steve Blank, Teresa Briggs, Peggy Burke, Tom Byers, Dana Calderwood, Stan Christensen, Sandra Cook, Michael Dearing, Ashwini Doshi, Debra Dunn, Alistair Fee, Nathan Furr, Steve Garrity, Linda Gass, Jeff Hawkins, John Hennessy, Quincy Jones III, Jeanie Kahwajy, Guy Kawasaki, Perry Klebahn, Randy Komisar, Chong Moon Lee, Fern Mandelbaum, Kevin McSpadden, Tricia Lee, Blake Nordstrom, Erik Nordstrom, Elisabeth Paté-Cornell, Jim Plummer, Bernie Roth, Heidi Roizen, Michael Rothenberg, David Rothkopf, Linda Rottenberg, Josh Schwarzepel, Jerry Seelig, Jeff Seibert, Carla Shatz, John Stiggelbout, Carlos Vignolo, Quyen Vuong, and Paul Yock.

  I also want to thank all those entrepreneurial thought leaders who come to Stanford to share their experiences in our lecture series. I mined the STVP Entrepreneurship Corner (eCorner) website for lessons from the following speakers: Carol Bartz, Pat Brown, Chip Heath, Mir Imran, Leila Janah, Steve Jurvetson, David Kelley, Vinod Khosla, Marissa Mayer, Josh McFarland, David Neeleman, Larry Page, Gil Penchina, Bonny Simi, Debbie Sterling, Kevin Weil, and Anne Wojcicki. I also acknowledge Steve Jobs for his remarkable commencement address at Stanford in 2005.

  My wonderful colleagues at the Stanford Technology Ventures Program (STVP) and the School of Engineering deserve considerable credit for their contributions to this project. They have all enriched my life tremendously. First, let me thank Tom Byers for inviting me to join him at STVP twenty years ago. Tom has been a terrific role model, a fabulous colleague, and a great friend. Without Tom’s generous support and guidance, there is no way I would have had the opportunities that unfolded over the years.

  Second, I want to call out my fantastic colleagues at STVP over the years who have taught me so much, including Ravi Balani, Steve Blank, Toby Corey, Lauren Crout, Chuck Eesley, Kathy Eisenhardt, Matt Harvey, Pam Hinds, Rebeca Hwang, Rachel Jalkowski, Riitta Katila, Harjoth Khara, Trevor Loy, Emily Ma, Fern Mandelbaum, Ann Miura-Ko, Alberto Savoia, Danielle Steussy, Forrest Glick, Theresa Lina Stevens, Alli Rico, Nikki Salgado, Ryan Shiba, Bob Sutton, and Victoria Woo; as well as my School of Engineering colleagues Nick Bambos, Margaret Brandeau, Laura Breyfogle, Jim Plummer, and Jennifer Widom, who make Stanford’s School of Engineering a remarkable place to work. Special thanks go to STVP’s sponsors, whose generosity allows us to educate the next generation of entrepreneurs.

  I want to pay tribute to my friends and colleagues at the Hasso Plattner Institute of Design at Stanford, or d.school, over the years. Specifically, I want to call out Banny Banerjee, Michael Barry, Dennis Boyle, Bruce Boyd, Charlotte Burgess Auburn, Carissa Carter, Maureen Carroll, Rich Cox Braden, Liz Gerber, Julian Gorodsky, Justin Ferrell, Aleta Hayes, Nicole Kahn, David Kelley, George Kembel, Kim Kendall Humphreys, Hannah Joy Root, Erik Olesund, Bernie Roth, Sarah Stein Greenberg, Mark Grunberg, Alberto Savoia, Lisa Solomon, Terry Winograd, and Susie Wise, who consistently inspire me with their creativity and commitment to teaching.

  It is important to acknowledge all the students with whom I have the pleasure of working, including the Mayfield Fellows, DFJ Entrepreneurial Leadership Fellows, Accel Innovation Scholars, Biodesign Fellows, the d.school Bootcamp and Summer College students, and all those in my courses on creativity and innovation. Their entrepreneurial spirit consistently exceeds all of my expectations.

  There are also many people who read this manuscript in various stages of its evolution and gave me valuable feedback. This includes Ramya Balasingam, James Barlow, Sylvine Beller, Peggy Burke, Katherine Emery, Carol Eastman, Gregg Garmisa, Gerardo Gonzalez, Jonah Greenberg, Grace Isford, Boris Logvinskiy, Beata Petkowa, Patricia Ryan Madson, Juliet Rothenberg, Ali S
arilgan, Jerry Seelig, Lorraine Seelig, Anand Subramani, and Eric Volmar. Their helpful comments and suggestions had a big influence on the evolution of this book.

  Even with all this support, this project would never have materialized without the guidance provided by Gideon Weil at HarperOne. He is a remarkable coach, a terrific teacher, and a wonderful editor. I learned something new in every one of our conversations over the past ten years, and always look forward to his calls. Additionally, I want to thank Lisa Zuniga for editing the first edition of the book, and Mary Grangeia and Dianna Stirpe for editing the ten-year edition. They all worked with me with great skill to make sure that the nuances of all the stories were not lost as they polished the prose.

  And special thanks go to Mark Tauber for befriending me on that cross-country flight many years ago. Our story is a powerful reminder that you never know what will happen when you strike up a conversation.

  On a personal note, I want to give a huge shout-out to my husband Michael, who has been an invaluable partner and advisor. I am so appreciative to Michael for his helpful suggestions, unconditional support, and unending encouragement. And special thanks go to my parents, who laid the foundation of my education. They have been wonderful role models and teachers my entire life.

  Finally, I am completely indebted to Josh for inspiring me to make a list of things I wish I knew when I was twenty. Over the years he has always provided thoughtful and provocative insights on how to find one’s place in the world, and I continue to be awed by his wisdom. This new edition is my thirtieth birthday present to Josh. Happy birthday . . . and many more!

  Notes

  Chapter 1: Buy One, Get Two Free

  1.The Hasso Plattner Institute of Design at Stanford is affectionately called the d.school. Its website is dschool.stanford.edu.

  2.After reading this example in the earlier edition of this book, a few readers interpreted waiting in line for others as illegal. In fact, there are many legal businesses that provide this type of service. Examples include LineAngel (lineangel.com/) and TaskRabbit (www.taskrabbit.com/m/featured/waiting-in-line).

  3.For details about the One Red Paperclip project, visit www.oneredpaperclip.com.

  4.For Global Innovation Tournament information, visit ecorner.stanford.edu/article/how-to-run-your-own-innovation-tournament/.

  5.“Imagine It Post-It Challenge,” posted by Rudy Poe, April 19, 2015, video, 49:17, vimeo.com/125397870.

  6.Vinod Khosla’s video on turning problems into opportunities, “Any Big Problem Is a Big Opportunity,” can be found at ecorner.stanford.edu/video/any-big-problem-is-a-big-opportunity.

  7.The Stanford Technology Ventures Program (STVP) is hosted by the Department of Management Science and Engineering within Stanford’s School of Engineering. The program’s website is stvp.stanford.edu.

  8.William Bruce Cameron, Informal Sociology: A Casual Introduction to Sociological Thinking (New York: Random House, 1963), 13.

  Chapter 2: The Upside-Down Circus

  1.“Do Bands,” posted by BigloftRulz, February 28, 2008, video, 3:01, www.youtube.com/watch?v=gz0246tMejk.

  2.Lewis Pugh, twitter.com/lewispugh/status/950579550009876480.

  3.For information about Stanford’s Byers Center for Biodesign program, visit biodesign.stanford.edu/.

  4.This two-part case study is available through the Case Centre, www.thecasecentre.org/main/. The part titles are “The Evolution of the Circus Industry” and “Even a Clown Can Do It: Cirque du Soleil Re-creates Live Entertainment,” by W. Chan Kim, Renée Mauborgne, Ben M. Bensaou, and Matt Williamson (Fontainebleau, France: INSEAD, June 2009).

  5.You can find information on this lecture series at ecorner.stanford.edu/events, and all lectures are archived at ecorner.stanford.edu.

  6.Alan Alda, “62nd Commencement Address,” Connecticut College, June 1, 1980, digitalcommons.conncoll.edu/commence/7/.

  7.Video clips of Randy Komisar can be found at ecorner.stanford.edu.

  8.Video clips of Guy Kawasaki can be found at ecorner.stanford.edu.

  9.“Elon Musk: How to Build the Future,” interview by Jared Friedman, Y Combinator, September 15, 2016, video, 19:32, www.ycombinator.com/future/elon/.

  10.Jared Lindzon, “How Sky Diving Cured My Depression,” New York Times, April 13, 2018, www.nytimes.com/2018/04/13/opinion/depression-sky-diving-dubai.html.

  Chapter 3: Bikini or Die

  1.B. F. Skinner, “Selection by Consequences,” Science 213, no. 4507 (July 31, 1981): 501–4.

  2.See www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=112&v=68JLWyPxt7g.

  3.Video clips of Larry Page can be found at ecorner.stanford.edu.

  4.For information about Endeavor, visit www.endeavor.org.

  5.For more information, visit www.economist.com/business/2012/10/13/shut-down-cumplo.

  Chapter 4: Please Take Out Your Wallets

  1.For more information about Booz Allen Hamilton, visit www.boozallen.com.

  2.A video summarizing this exercise: Tina Seelig, “Wallet Prototyping,” eCorner, February 6, 2007, video, 7:17, ecorner.stanford.edu/video/wallet-prototyping/.

  3.Video clips of David Rothkopf can be found at ecorner.stanford.edu.

  4.Video clips of Bonny Simi can be found at ecorner.stanford.edu.

  Chapter 5: The Secret Sauce of Silicon Valley

  1.Johannes Haushofer, “CV of Failures,” www.princeton.edu/~joha/Johannes_Haushofer_CV_of_Failures.pdf.

  2.Global Entrepreneurship Monitor: www.gemconsortium.org/.

  3.Thomas Catan, “Spain’s Showy Debt Collectors Wear a Tux, Collect the Bucks,” Wall Street Journal, October 11, 2008, www.wsj.com/articles/SB122369424667425525.

  4.For more about Bob Eberhart’s research on Japanese laws regarding failure: Pui Shiau, “Changes in Regulations Boost Entrepreneurship in Japan,” Stanford Office of International Affairs, May 21, 2012, international.stanford.edu/info/news/changes-regulations-boost-entrepreneurship-japan.

  5.For more about the Mayfield Fellows Program, visit mfp.stanford.edu.

  6.For more about BookScan data on book publishing rates and sales: Lincoln Michel, “Everything You Wanted to Know About Book Sales (But Were Afraid to Ask),” Electric Lit, June 30, 2016, electricliterature.com/everything-you-wanted-to-know-about-book-sales-but-were-afraid-to-ask-1fe6bc00aa2d.

  7.Video clips of Mir Imran can be found at ecorner.stanford.edu.

  8.Robert Sutton, The No Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn’t (New York: Business Plus, 2010).

  9.“Stanford Rubber Wishing Tree,” posted by StanfordBiodesign, February 28, 2008, video, 2:32, www.youtube.com/watch?v=YO44XJlXJjY.

  10.Video clips of Gil Penchina can be found at ecorner.stanford.edu. Also see ecorner.stanford.edu/podcast/the-contrasts-of-a-big-company-and-a-small-start-up/.

  Chapter 6: Turbulence Ahead

  1.Video clips of Debbie Sterling can be found at ecorner.stanford.edu.

  2.Alberto Savoia, The Right It: Why So Many Ideas Fail and How to Make Sure Yours Succeed (San Francisco: HarperOne, 2019).

  3.Video clips of Carol Bartz can be found at ecorner.stanford.edu.

  4.Josh McFarland, “Answering Common Startup Questions [Entire Talk],” Entrepreneurial Thought Leaders, season 13, episode 15, March 7, 2018, video, 59:10, ecorner.stanford.edu/video/answering-common-startup-questions-entire-talk/.

  5.“Steve Jobs’s 2005 Commencement Address,” Stanford News, June 14, 2005, video (and transcript), 15:04, news.stanford.edu/2005/06/14/jobs-061505/.

  6.Video clips of David Neeleman can be found at ecorner.stanford.edu.

  7.Robert Sutton, Weird Ideas That Work (New York: Free Press, 2002). Video clips of Bob Sutton can be found at ecorner.stanford.edu.

  8.Jeff Hawkins, “Individual vs. Company,” Entrepreneurial Thought Leaders, October 23, 2002, video, 1:17, ecorner.stanford.edu/video/individual-vs-company/.

  Chapter 7: No Way . . . Engineering Is for Girls

  1.“Mike Rowe: Don’t Pursue Y
our Passion. Chase Opportunity,” posted by Entrepreneur, April 10, 2015, video, 2:58, www.youtube.com/watch?v=NT1i26RbrhM.

  Chapter 8: Turn Lemonade into Helicopters

  1.For the full definition of “luck,” visit en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/luck and www.differencebetween.com/difference-between-destiny-and-vs-luck/.

  2.“Princeton Baccalaureate 2012: Michael Lewis,” posted by Princeton University, June 5, 2012, video, 13:41, www.youtube.com/watch?v=CiQ_T5C3hIM.

  3.“Secret of Luck,” posted by Nick Angel, December 23, 2011, video, 44:17, vimeo.com/34133694.

  4.Tina Seelig, “The Little Risks You Can Take to Increase Your Luck,” TED Talk, June 2018, video, 11:40, www.ted.com/talks/tina_seelig_the_little_risks_you_can_take_to_increase_your_luck.

  5.“Steve Jobs’s 2005 Commencement Address,” Stanford News, June 14, 2005, video (and transcript), 15:04, news.stanford.edu/2005/06/14/jobs-061505/.

  Chapter 9: Are You Smart or Right?

  1.Robert Sutton, The No Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn’t (New York: Business Plus, 2010).

  2.Video clips of Guy Kawasaki can be found at ecorner.stanford.edu.

  3.Greg McKeown, Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less (New York: Crown, 2014).

  4.A blog post on scarcity and abundance: Tina Seelig, “How to Navigate the Transition from Scarcity to Abundance,” Medium, March 7, 2017, medium.com/@tseelig/when-less-is-more-navigating-the-transition-from-scarcity-to-abundance-13f3c2fc9671.

  Chapter 10: Paint the Target Around the Arrow

  1.This negotiation exercise is based on an exercise I observed in Maggie Neale’s class at the Stanford Graduate School of Business.