“I’ll leave you to rest. I wish I were seeing you under better circumstances.”
“It was really good to see you, Jennifer. I wish you the best in the future. Take good care of that little girl of yours.”
“I will.”
Jennifer leaned down, gave him a hug and then walked out of the room as fast as possible. She didn’t want him to see the tears streaming down her face. This could be the last time she would see him.
Her heart broke for their family.
As she left the hospital, she tried to prepare herself for the inevitable. Not only would she have to attend the funeral for a man she once thought would be her father-in-law, but she would also place a phone call to Adam because she made a promise to a dying man.
She didn’t look forward to either.
*****
After Jennifer got Amber into bed that evening, she called Mandi. They talked for a long time. Mandi knew her dad’s time was very short and was trying to come to terms with it.
“How’s your mom?”
“She keeps a strong front, but I know she’s barely hanging on.”
Jennifer could hear Mandi’s voice crack again and the tears started to fall down her own cheeks again.
Several seconds later, she calmed down enough to ask a question she may eventually regret.
“How’s Adam doing?”
Mandi paused for several seconds and Jennifer could only imagine what she was thinking. It was the first time she asked about Adam in a very long time.
“He’s trying to be strong for me and my mom. But truthfully, he’s not doing very well.”
Jennifer sighed. “I can only imagine. I’m sorry.”
“I don’t think my dad has much longer. I am not going to be able to handle this very well.” Mandi’s voice was strained.
“I don’t know what to say other than I’m sorry and I love you.”
It was such a hard conversation. Mandi was right that he didn’t have much time based on how he looked and it was hard to accept.
“I know. I’m so glad you’re here, Jennifer.” Mandi started to cry again. “I don’t know what I’d do without my best friends to support me.”
“Me too. I wish I could come give you a hug right now.”
Jennifer couldn’t help but start to cry again.
The girls hung up a few minutes later and she didn’t think she had any tears left.
She had an overwhelming desire to call Adam, but she didn’t want to cause him additional stress. Considering how much they had to discuss, now just wasn’t the right time.
Jennifer hoped not calling would be the least selfish thing she could do, not the other way around.
Chapter Five
Adam
Boys don’t cry
The phone call Adam received at work earlier in the week had chilled him to the bone. His dad was in the hospital.
Pneumonia.
He wasn’t stupid. People with cancer often times died from complications like influenza or pneumonia. It terrified him.
As soon as he got the phone call, he left work and headed straight for the hospital. After his visit that day, he had taken some time off work. He knew it wasn’t good.
When he got to the hospital that day, he was told they had moved his dad to a different room. He walked up to the front desk to ask for his dad’s new room.
As he walked up the stairs, Adam blew out a deep breath and tried to mentally prepare himself. The tears in his eyes threatened to spill over, so he stopped in the stairwell to pull himself together. He stood there for several minutes, thinking about how amazing his dad was. They were lucky he lived this long, but he still wasn’t ready to lose him.
He finally pulled himself together and walked up to the nurse’s station on the 2nd floor.
“Excuse me, could you tell point me to Rob Jackson’s room?”
“Yes, he’s in room 214. Family?”
“His son.”
The nurse’s expression softened as she pointed. “It’s right down that hall.”
“Thanks.”
Adam headed towards his dad’s room. He didn’t hear anything when he initially knocked, so he knocked again and then entered the room quietly.
The sight of his dad shocked him. He looked so much worse than he did even the day before. He looked even thinner and was hooked up to even more machines and an oxygen mask.
That was not his dad. His dad was tall, fit and muscular with a thick head of dark blonde hair and kind, brown eyes. He was over 6 feet tall, and wore trendy jeans with shirts Mandi chose to make him cool.
The guy in the bed had frail arms that were skin and bones, his eyes were sunken and his hair looked much thinner, even without having chemo. He could see only the top of his body since a blanket covered most of it.
His IV was dripping slowly.
Drip. Drip. Drip.
The monitor was beeping every so often.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
Adam didn’t know how the nurse managed to get the IV into his dehydrated veins.
Was it selfish of Adam to want his dad to continue the fight when he was so damn sick and his body was worn out? Was it finally time to let him go and tell his dad it was okay if he needed to stop fighting? He could barely think the words much less picture having that conversation, but looking down at his dad, it was time to do just that.
As if sensing Adam’s presence, his dad stirred and opened his eyes.
“Adam.”
The one word caused a coughing fit, which looked painful and took his breath away.
“Yeah dad, it’s me.”
Adam rushed forward and sat down in the chair beside the bed. He grabbed his dad’s outstretched hand and tried to keep his tears at bay.
“How long have you been here?”
“Just a couple minutes.”
“Guess who I saw.”
“Who?”
“Jennifer. She came in and visited.”
Adam frowned. Perhaps the painkillers were playing with his head.
“Maybe it was someone who looked like her?”
“It was her, son.” He looked so sure he almost believed him. “She said she’d call you.”
“Well, I’ll look forward to her call.”
“You don’t believe me.”
“I really hope it’s true, dad.” Adam sighed. If only. “So, when do you think they’ll let you come home?”
His dad’s smile fell. “I don’t think I’ll be going home, son.”
Adam shook his head and was about to argue but his dad interrupted him.
“Son, it’s time. You don’t have to like it, but I need for you to accept it. I need you to take care of your mom and sister.”
Adam’s eyes filled with tears and he took a deep, calming breath. Then, he nodded his head once in acknowledgement.
His dad looked relieved at Adam’s reaction. “Good boy.”
“Dad, this isn’t easy for me to say, but I think you need to hear it. If it’s time for you to go, then go. I’ll never be ready, but if it’s time, it’s time.”
For the first time he could ever remember, Adam saw his dad cry. It was a mixture of sadness and relief. His dad held out his arms and Adam leaned in for a rare hug from his dad. He held on tight and didn’t ever want to let go.
His mom walked into the room, and he finally broke away from the hug.
“Hi mom.”
“Hi, honey. I just walked your sister out. We must’ve barely missed you.” She looked over at her husband and then again at Adam. “How are my two favorite men?”
His mom looked to be on the verge of tears.
Adam shrugged. What could he say?
“I suppose I better go and let you rest.”
His mom just nodded and gave him a watery smile. Her chin was quivering, but she was keeping the tears inside. He walked over and gave her a hug.
When he let go, his mom walked to his dad to stand by the bed. His dad gave his mom a smile that surprisingly lit u
p his sunken eyes.
“Mom, dad, I love you. I’ll be back tomorrow.”
They both nodded and his dad said, “I love you, son.”
He started to leave, but before he walked out the door, he turned back around.
His mom was on the bed and laying down beside his dad. They were holding hands with their fingers interlocked and they were staring into each other’s eyes.
How does someone survive losing the person they love the most in their life?
Adam left, almost running to get to a private area while his eyes filled. He made it to the parking lot before the tears started falling. He somehow found his car and stayed there until he got himself under control.
If my heart is broken, Mom’s must be shattered.
The love they shared was rare and he hoped to have that kind of love someday.
His mind turned to Jennifer. His dad had always liked her and he seemed so sure he’d seen her and he wished it were the case.
Adam couldn’t help but smile, thinking of the first time he laid eyes on her.
Fourteen years earlier…
“So Jenn, how come I’ve never seen you around before?”
Before Jennifer replied, Mandi rolled her eyes and said, “Geez, bro, she’s been coming around for like 6 months. She’s my best friend. Have you been hiding under a rock?”
Adam looked over to Mandi and held his hand palm side up. “I’ve been a little busy with school, baseball and my job. What can I say?”
He looked back at Jennifer and gave her his best grin, the one he knew showed off his dimple. Adam could see the blush spreading on her face and it made him grin even wider.
Damn, she’s really cute.
Adam tried again. “Do you play any sports, Jenn?”
Mandi scowled at him. “Her name is Jennifer, you dork.”
Adam’s head snapped back to Mandi. “Would you let her talk, twerp?”
“Freak.”
“Nag.”
“That’s enough, you two.” Mandi’s mom was shaking her head. “We have a guest. Let’s pretend to get along, shall we?”
“Sorry, mom,” Adam replied and then turned back to Jennifer. “So do you? Play sports, that is.”
“I…I play softball.” Jennifer’s voice was soft and sweet. “With your sister.”
Adam nodded his head and smiled. “Cool. Maybe I could come and watch you play.”
Mandi rolled her eyes again and said under her breath, “You never wanted to come watch me.”
Mandi’s dad smiled. “Good luck fitting that in to your schedule, son.”
Adam looked over at his dad. “I’m sure I can figure out at least one game to watch.” He then turned back towards Jennifer, trying to catch her eye. “What positions?”
Jennifer finally raised her eyes to meet his. “Pitcher and 3rd base. What about you?”
“Mainly first base. Sometimes right field.”
“Where do you work?”
He grinned. She was actually talking to him now, asking him questions. Sweet!
“He works at DQ. At least that’s something he’s done right,” Mandi told her, laughing. “He brings home blizzards for me sometimes.”
Adam narrowed his eyes at Mandi. “You better watch your smart mouth or I won’t bring you any more.” He turned back to Jennifer. “You should come up sometime and I’ll make you anything you want.”
She finally cracked a smile. “I’d like that.”
Adam couldn’t help but sneak glances her way the rest of the way through dinner.
What will Mandi do if I ask her out?
*****
When Adam got home, he called his sister to give her an update on their dad’s condition and let her know their mom was staying with him that night. They discussed taking turns staying with him to relieve their mom, although neither of them thought she’d agree to it.
They never got the chance.
When he received the call from his mom the next morning, Adam’s heart broke.
His dad was gone.
His mom told him his dad died while she held his hand.
Adam had a feeling his parents knew he was going to pass that night. He wished he were there to support his mom and to say goodbye to his dad one more time.
“Did you tell Mandi yet, mom?” Adam struggled to keep his voice strong. Telling Mandi would be so hard. He couldn’t imagine how hard it was for her to call him.
“No, honey, I called you first.” He could hear her sniffling and her broken voice tore at his heart. He lost his dad, but she lost the love of her life.
“Do you want me to call her?” Please say no.
He’d do it but he didn’t want to be the one to break the news. He could barely keep it together for his mom.
“No, honey, I need to do it.”
“Will you ask her to call me, mom? I can pick her up on my way to the hospital.”
“You don’t need to come up here, honey. I can do this on my own. I have paperwork to fill out and, well, I’m not really sure what else I have to do.” Her voice broke on the last few words.
“I know I don’t have to, mom, but I want to be there for you. I’m sure Mandi will too. I also want to see dad.”
“Thank you, Adam. I love you, honey. I need to call Mandi now.”
He could hear that her voice had changed to become more strained, and he figured she was trying not to break down completely.
“I love you too.”
He heard the line disconnect, but not before hearing his mom’s uncontrollable, heart-wrenching sobbing.
Adam lost it.
He cried hard for the loss he wasn’t ready to bear.
Chapter Six
Jennifer
Hiding in the shadows
Jennifer had a great day at work. She was in such a good mood she wanted to visit Rob before she headed home. Adam may just be there, but she was willing to take the chance.
She gave a quick knock on the door and entered the room. She skidded to a stop when she saw the empty bed.
A feeling of dread came over her and immediately she chastised herself. She was such a negative person sometimes. It could be a good thing the room was empty.
She left the room and approached one of the nurses working on the floor.
“Hey Sarah, what happened to Mr. Jackson in room 214?”
“He passed away last night.”
Jennifer couldn’t help the tears that formed in her eyes.
Sarah gave her a sympathetic look. “Did you know him?”
She nodded, trying to swallow down the tears.
“I’m sorry. How did you know him?”
She blew out a breath. “He was my best friend’s dad.”
“Oh, I’m very sorry.”
“Thank you. I better go. I’ll see you soon.”
She called Mandi from the stairwell and finally let the tears fall as she spoke to her best friend.
She wished she could reach out and give her dad a huge hug.
*****
The following Saturday was Rob’s funeral. The day would be hard in more ways than one.
She arranged for her neighbor, Maddie, to watch Amber. Her daughter adored the girl.
Over the years, it was rare for Jennifer to use a babysitter, other than daycare. Since Amber was born, it was just the two of them and she wouldn’t give her up for anything in the world. On occasion, Amber would stay over at a friends’ house, but that started only recently. She could count on her two hands the number of times she left Amber with a sitter, and she was proud of that. However, lately she found several reasons to need a sitter and she was very happy to have found her neighbor.
Maddie knocked on her front door and Jennifer looked at her watch. She was a half hour early.
Jennifer opened the door with a questioning look and a soft greeting. “Hi Maddie.”
“Hi,” she replied. “I know I’m early but I wanted to check to see if you wanted help watching Amber while you finished getting ready. If no
t, I can come back in a little while.”
“How thoughtful! Thank you.”
Maddie looked nervous but with Jennifer’s praise she beamed.
“Come on in,” Jennifer said, moving aside to let Maddie into the front entry. “Amber’s in her room.”
“Okay!”
Maddie took off her shoes and then raced down the hall towards Amber’s room. Jennifer could hear Amber squeal in delight as soon as Maddie got back to her room. It made her smile knowing this sweet girl loved Amber.
As she got ready and the time to leave got closer, her stomach swirled. Somehow she was hoping to be able to avoid seeing Adam at the funeral, but she wasn’t sure how she’d accomplish that. She was glad Cassandra would be going with her.
She carefully applied her makeup, curled her hair and put on the new black dress she had bought the other night when she had gone out with Cassandra.
The girls made it to the funeral home in plenty of time to spare. They sat in Jennifer’s car for several minutes to calm her nerves. She hoped she could stay under Adam’s radar the entire time. As often as she thought of him, this was not the occasion to have a reunion.
“Come on, kiddo. We need to go on in.”
Jennifer nodded at Cassandra. “Okay, I think I’m ready.”
The girls took their seats in the very last pew, behind many heads to be well hidden from Adam. Jennifer kept low in the seat, but couldn’t help but look for him.
Finally, she got a clear shot of Adam and she couldn’t believe her eyes.
“H - o – l - y shit.”
Even though Jennifer said it under her breath, she could see Cassandra look at her out of the corner of her eye.
“Shhh!”
“Sorry,” she whispered.
Adam looked amazing in his suit, his dark blonde hair cut short and neat, his hard jaw freshly shaven and set so hard she could see the muscles flexing. His body looked fuller than she remembered, but she could tell it was pure muscle underneath his expensive suit.
She definitely shouldn’t be thinking about how he looked, but she couldn’t help herself. Jennifer shook her head to stop the thoughts that were not appropriate at a funeral.
The service began and thinking of how amazing he looked was no longer a problem.
Second Look (A New Beginning Book 3) Page 7