Redemption

by Brent, Amy

  Hmm, she always was smart.

  I lied, a half-truth, not a full lie. “Sorry, I was in the process of taking some painkillers,” I said.

  “Trying to numb the pain of last night, were you?” Lindsey asked.

  “Not at all,” I replied. I stayed silent, feeling it better not to say anything more.

  Lindsey asked what I was about to say, and I fobbed my way out of it saying I tried to get the shower to wash away the dull throbbing in my head. It hadn’t worked, and that’s why I’d resorted to the painkillers.

  “How can I help you, anyway?”

  Lindsey mumbled to start when she answered. “It might be best if we pretend last night never happened, you know?” There was an awkward pause. “Keep it to ourselves.”

  I furrowed my brow. Crap, I’ve already mentioned it to Paul. “It makes sense to me. There’s no need to complicate matters.”

  Although it was to be forgotten, Lindsey’s next statement was still a kick in the teeth—sort of. “We were drunk after all, and the end result didn’t mean anything.”

  “I totally agree.” I lifted my hand and felt the bite mark on my shoulder. I don’t think I’ll be able to forget about it as quickly as you can. Not while I’m looking in the mirror. “We did have a bit too much to drink, and we got carried away.”

  “Forgetting all that, how about you show me around your camp later?” she asked.

  I was shocked. “Sure, of course, no problem.” I didn’t expect her to forget about last night that quickly. “What time?”

  “Is two o’clock okay with you?”

  I said it was okay, and I arranged to meet her later. Good news does wonders when trying to get rid of a headache. I took a quick walk around the camp before Lindsey arrived. I even dressed for the occasion in a figure-hugging, black t-shirt. Why have you worn this one? This was business, so I stood professionally with my hands clasped behind my back while I watched the dust kick up from behind Lindsey’s car. She skidded to a halt a few inches away from my legs and grinned through the windshield.

  “I was seeing if it’s true, and you’re as tough as they say.”

  I ignored the comment altogether. “If you want to walk this way,” I said, now ushering Lindsey into the office.

  I gave her a quick tour of the buildings and showed her the amenities for the camp visitors. There was the canteen, the showers, and a rec-room where they could relax when they were on a free spell after training.

  “It seems you’ve got it all figured out,” Lindsey leaned over the fence to take a look at the assault course. Her skin-tight black leggings weren’t for my benefit, they couldn’t be. Either way, they hugged her curves, and her ass was as silky smooth as it was the previous night. Mmm.

  Stop it, Ben.

  “The record stands at one-minute forty-six if you want to try and beat it,” I said.

  “Set by you, of course?”

  “Of course!”

  I led Lindsey back toward the buildings. She asked where she’d be stationed if, and it was a big if, she decided to help out. I showed her the two offices which were empty.

  “I was thinking the two rooms together will give anyone you meet with that extra feeling of privacy. I might be wrong, but seems they’d want that.”

  “You’re right, Ben. Especially with PTSD, that’s a touchy subject to sufferers. They feel inadequate enough as it is and having everyone watch them walk in for a session, well, that can make the situation worse.”

  “What do you think?”

  “You’ve done an excellent job with the place. I’d love to help out. I can be here a couple of days a week. My camp’s not far away, so if you have anyone who wishes to see me there, we can interchange locations.”

  It sounded like a good plan. Lindsey and I ran through how to arrange the offices. They still needed a slick of paint and some furniture, not forgetting the famous therapist's couch. Lindsey said it wasn’t always the case that a couch was used. I thought it sounded kind of cool to have one, though.

  “What about scheduling?” I asked.

  I watched while Lindsey pulled out her tablet. Her finger darted across the screen while she checked whatever she was reviewing.

  “Monday mornings, Wednesday afternoons, and all-day Fridays to start. How does that grab you?”

  I sighed because it was much better than I’d expected, and in truth, it was totally unexpected after last night. “That’s fantastic. I really appreciate it,” I said.

  Lindsey was going all out. From what I remembered, she’d always liked to help people in need, and I was in need. I walked her to her car and pulled on the door handle.

  “I’ll see you on Monday morning,” she said.

  “You will, and thanks again.”

  Lindsey slammed her vehicle in reverse and pushed her foot down hard on the gas pedal. I stood waving as a vast cloud of dust wafted over my figure-hugging t-shirt.

  It’s only business after all.

  Lindsey

  The morning sessions came to an end, and I was sitting down, now looking out of the window contemplating all that was going on. I was soon going to be split between two camps which could be a good thing. I’d help a lot more people than just the ones who visited mine. PTSD was a terrible thing to live with, and in many ways, it was similar to women who finally came out of abusive relationships.

  I spun around in my chair and faced my desk because there was a light knock on the door. Nicole poked her head in before stepping into the office. She was very-obviously rubbing her belly.

  “It’s afternoon snack time, so are you hungry or what?” she asked. “I could eat a horse.”

  I gazed at Nicole in amazement. For someone so slender, she could eat for hours and not gain an ounce of weight. “Okay, you want to eat here or get out of the office for a while?” I asked. The afternoon was going to be full of yoga with Spirita and her assistant, Jane. We had finished our work for the day.

  “Let’s go out. We always eat here.”

  I told Nicole she needed to drive and choose where to eat. I didn’t feel like making a decision. I grabbed my bag and jacket and headed to the reception area. Nicole stood there; she was swinging the keys around her finger with a huge grin on her face.

  “What’s got into you?” I asked.

  “I could go for a burger. And like you said, it’s nice to get out of the office every once and a while and, you know, chat. Girl to girl,” she said.

  I shook my head. Talking one on one was okay, but not on work time. There was also the fact I didn’t have much to say on a girly level.

  “I changed the subject. “Burger, a big fat juicy burger? How is that healthy?”

  “You said I could pick,” Nicole said.

  “Not fast food, you know they’re full of crap.”

  Nicole promised me they were all natural. One-hundred percent pure beef. I trusted her, so I jumped into the passenger seat and buckled up. Nicole drove to Babb’s. I’d seen it before, although I’d never ventured inside. Eating alone in a burger joint always appeared a little lame to me.

  We sat close to the window which wasn’t difficult because most of the tables were by the windows. Nicole mentioned there was a patio, although on the first visit I opted for indoors. I looked around while we waited for the waitress, and it was pretty sparse. I mentally crossed my fingers that Babb’s made up for the decor with their food.

  “They do pretty damned good gyros here,” Nicole mentioned.

  I opted for the buffalo burger with no sides. Nicole went for a double cheeseburger and sides of small garlic fries and onion rings. The waitress took the order and vanished into the kitchen while we chatted about the afternoon’s sessions. A new batch of women would arrive tomorrow. Their induction needed to be run through, and then they also needed to be separated into groups, which was dependent on their needs. I’d always found it easier to split the clients into groups, so they felt comfortable before going one-on-one in a private session. Having others around made t
hem feel that it was okay to talk about their situation and their feelings.

  The waitress came back with a large tray and slid the three serving baskets lined with black and white checkered paper toward Nicole, and then a single plate with what appeared to be a full-sized burger, for me. The burger was huge, and I presumed I’d never finish it.

  “We’ve got quite a few starting tomorrow who’ve come from an abusive relationship situation,” Nicole commented, munching on an onion ring. “About eight of them.”

  That was more than usual. It was usually two or three, and having the number rise by such an amount would mean that the sessions needed to be changed to accommodate. I bit into my humongous burger and begun chewing as Nicole asked me what I did over the weekend. And so as not to spit my half-chewed burger all over her, I held my finger up and made her wait until I swallowed. It also gave me time to think about how to answer as lying wouldn’t go down well. Nicole knew me like the back of her hand and always knew if I ventured from the truth.

  I smiled, and I timed my answer so I replied before taking another huge mouthful. “I saw Ben on Friday night.” I picked the burger up and held it in front of my mouth. “He stayed over.” I took a very huge bite.

  Nicole’s eyes opened, and she dropped her fries back into the basket. She picked up a napkin and wiped her mouth and her fingers. “Ben, as in your ex, Ben? Six years ago, Ben?”

  I nodded. Her eyes were still wide.

  “Now come on Lindsey. You’ve gotta tell me all about it. What happened?” she asked. “I know he’s physically bigger than he used to be but, you know. Um, is he packing more now that he’s older?”

  I managed to finish my bit of burger without choking. Straight to the point was one of Nicole’s main attributes, and it was one of her weaknesses too. “What a question to ask over a meal,” I responded.

  “Well, something must’ve happened. I remember you two when you were dating. You used to go at it like a couple of rabbits.”

  “Jesus Nicole! Show a bit of respect.” I shook my head in an attempt to avoid the issue. I sat opposite Nicole, and I knew in my heart of hearts that avoiding the issue would be nigh on impossible. “We went out on a business meeting.”

  “I’m sure there was more to it. There’s no way on God’s green earth that Ben would stop over for only a business meeting.”

  I bowed my head slightly when I mentioned we went out and skipped dinner. We hit the bar and ended up worse for wear. After that, we ended up back at my place, and Ben gave me a refresher on what I’d been missing from all those years ago.

  “What’re you trying to say? He took advantage of you?”

  I lifted my head, and I noticed Nicole’s shocked expression. I shook my head, and explained it in more detail. As far as I could remember, it was me who started the whole thing. If it hadn’t been me who instigated it, there was no way the evening would’ve ended up like it had.

  “You still never answered my question, is he packing?”

  I smiled; Ben was different since we’d broken up. He’d filled out in all the right places, and his time in the SEALs gave him plenty of stamina.

  Nicole shoved an onion ring into her mouth. She waited for me to speak with baited breath. “Give me all the sordid details.”

  I briefly explained how we almost didn’t make it into my apartment before we began tearing at each other's clothes, even though my mind was a bit foggy to start with. Nicole asked if it was sex up the wall or on the couch. I explained it started against the wall, although Ben had lifted me up with his huge muscular arms, and then he’d whisked me to the bedroom. Nicole was excited as she listened. It was like audio story-porn to her ears. I skipped the more delicate details about how Ben pushed me to the point where my body quivered like a jellyfish.

  “It was fun,” I said.

  “Fun—fun?” she asked. “He stayed over. I’m sure you had more than fun!”

  It was true. I had enjoyed it, even if I was intoxicated to the point of having forgotten what we’d done early the next morning.

  “I can see you’re not gonna tell me everything, so what’s this about business?”

  Finally, I could change the subject. “Well, you know he’s running the camp for survival and self-defense on the other side of town,” I explained. Nicole nodded. There wasn’t much she didn’t know and having her around saved a fortune in newspapers. “He asked if I want to hold an office there to help with some of his clients who are suffering from PTSD.”

  Through a considerable mouthful of cheeseburger, Nicole mumbled. “That’s a freakin’ good idea. You are so smart, I’m surprised you never thought of it.” I shrugged my shoulders. I was busy thinking of other things. Nicole pointed at me. “You know, you should ask him to return the favor.”

  “What do you mean?” I sipped on my soda, peering across the top of my glass.

  “What are his credentials?”

  “He was in the SEALs for years and was on some pretty tough assignments. I know he does survival training and self-defense on certain days of the week.”

  “Well, that makes it easier.” I had no idea what Nicole was thinking, and she talked in riddles. I gave her a blank expression and shrugged. “Come on genius, or did Ben fuck your brains out?”

  Well, as a matter of fact, he did.

  I told Nicole to take it steady and explain. I missed the point and didn’t know what she was on about. “Self-defense! We’ve got this new batch of clients coming in who’ve suffered abuse in their relationships. Wouldn’t it be good for us to offer self-defense?”

  “Nicole! I think you’re the smart one, not me. That’s a great idea, but it’s not down to us. It’s down to the clients. They might not want to get physical.”

  “We’ll see when we get back tomorrow. We can ask the girls and then ask the new ones how they feel about it.”

  I wasn’t sure why such an idea would give me a spring in my step, but walking back to the car, I felt more alive than I did before we’d spoken.

  It’s not because I need to speak to Ben is it?

  * * *

  “Holy cow,” I whispered when most of the morning's clients raised their hands.

  Nicole grinned. “What did I tell you?”

  I was very excited, and I stood, eagerly waiting for the new women to arrive. Before their induction, I asked the same question. “We’re thinking of adding a new class to the camp. How many of you would be interested in learning self-defense?”

  The majority of the new women raise their hands. It appeared that it wasn’t only the abused partners who were keen to defend themselves. The consensus was it would be good to learn something useful. I handed the induction over to Nicole and rushed to my office. My hand shook when I picked up the phone.

  “Ben?” I rattled into the speaker.

  “Lindsey, calm down. You sound on edge.” I was excited for the girls and hearing his voice added to the adrenaline which now pumped through my veins.

  “The girls here, we’ve come up with the idea of offering them self-defense classes. Would you be open to teaching that?”

  “What a fantastic idea,” he replied. “Instead of you coming up later and checking out your office, you could come up tomorrow and bring some of the girls with you. They can see how we do things.” He paused as he thought for a moment. “If you get here around nine, we can show them what we get up to after our clients return from their run.”

  “Okay, nine it is,” I replied.

  “Oh! Make sure they dress appropriately. They’ll need shorts or leggings, and running shoes, you know the score,” Ben added.

  “I’ll do that.”

  “One more thing, make sure you dress appropriately. It’s no good the girls being involved if you don’t join in yourself.”

  I replied I’d dress accordingly. I hung up the phone and rested back in the chair while Nicole entered the office.

  “What are you frowning for?” she asked. “I thought you were excited.”

  “
I am, and we’re all going up to his camp tomorrow.”

  “So, what’s wrong?”

  I huffed. “I’m thinking about what I can wear.”

  “Lol!” she exclaimed.

  Ben

  I paced around the office while Paul took the recruits for their morning run. If they kept up the pace they would arrive back at around the same time Lindsey would come with the women from her camp.

  I heard the grunts from behind me once the recruits filtered underneath the canopy. It seemed harsh, and they all knew the course wasn’t for the faint of heart. I turned back to spot the dust kicking up in the morning sun from cars arriving. The sun caught the windshield of the first couple of vehicles while they headed toward the camp. Paul sidled up next to me and exhaled while his chest broadened and then deflated.

  “Who’s here?” he asked.

  “Possible clients,” I replied, turning my head to face him.

  Within a minute or so he’d be glaring at me and saying what the hell are you doing? Or something to that effect. The vehicles ground to a halt in a cloud that was full of dust. Paul and I stepped backward while it cleared and two women stepped from the first vehicle.

  “Geez, look at the legs on her,” Paul commented. I spotted the slender legs, and I knew exactly who they belonged to. They’d been wrapped around my waist on more than one occasion, so I knew them very well.

  “Lindsey? What the hell, Ben?”

  And there it was. Paul turned to me in shock.

  “You knew about this, you sly old dog,” he commented.

  “It’s strictly business,” I replied.

  Lindsey did own a great pair of legs, and I now wished I had a better recollection of them from Friday night. It was nice to see she opted for shorts rather than leggings, and I started to wonder if they were for my benefit in case she ended up all hot and sweaty.

  I shuddered at the thought—all hot and sweaty.

  “I hope we’re not too late?” Lindsey asked.

  They were right on time. After a quick introduction, it’d be time to start the self-defense class. Nicole gave me a quick “Hi” as she walked past and went to chat with Paul.