Rebirthing in your arms

by Pilar Lepe

  “Happy Birthday, use it tonight (guilt-free)”

  She shook her head. How much had she spent on this gift, she would never understand she didn’t owe her anything, everything she did for her friend was because she wanted to without expecting anything in return. After she felt a little more calm she told herself she had to wear the dress, if she didn’t Sarah would get offended. After picking out shoes and purse, she headed for her bath.

  While she was taking her bath she was humming Someone like you, which was her favorite song, because she was happy. To her, getting a present like that was a good omen, she was sure that something bigger was about to happen. She was underwater wondering what would be next, she was concentrated thinking about the possible outcomes and didn’t notice when the door opened, which is why she jumped when a hand appeared to give her a bubbly glass.

  “Sorry, sweetheart. I didn’t mean to startle you, I just wanted to surprise you.”

  “Well you definitely did it.”

  “Happy birthday love. I thought it was a good idea to make a toast, though I would have preferred to get into the bath with you.”

  “What’s stopping you? Come here with me.” Evelyn said stretching her arms reaching out for him seductively.

  Samuel leaned and kissed her passionately. When Evelyn tried to get him by the beck, he back off rapidly.

  “Sorry, you know I don’t like to get messed up when I’m ready.”

  “Yeah, I know.” Evelyn chugged down what she had left in the glass of champagne and gave it back. “It’s OK, I forgot we’re going with Mark.”

  “I love you.” Sam said before leaving.

  Evelyn felt a stab of regrets, she didn’t love Sam the same way he did. He was a sweet man, always there for her when she needed it, a trusted man who always kept his word, but that was no enough for complete her and she really didn’t know what she would do if he proposed again, she didn’t want to hurt his feelings but she wasn’t ready to get married either.

  When she got out of the bathroom, Sam was taking a nap on the sofa with the T.V. on. Eve approached him and gave him a kiss on the forehead. He opened his eyes and looked at her tenderly, she smiled and headed to the bedroom to get dressed.

  They arrived at the restaurant a little before eight, but Mark wasn’t there yet.

  “Are you sure he’s coming?” Evelyn asked impatiently. “Do we have the right place? We always go to Andreato’s.

  “Impossible, he picked it out himself. He said you would love this place, they opened it recently but it was a big hit.”

  “It is really nice, it looks better than the other one.”

  “We’ve been together a long time and you’ve never told me why you like these places so much, as far as I know, you’re not Greek.”

  “Samuel.” Evelyn said calmly, “you don’t have to be Greek to like Greek food...to be honest Greece is like my wonderland, I’ve always dreamed of going someday and I know I will.”

  “We could go there for our honeymoon.”

  Evelyn was about to say that marriage was not in her plans when they were conveniently interrupted.

  “Hello Sam, mom beautiful as always.” Mark shook Samuel’s hand and leaned to kiss Evelyn on the forehead. “Allow me to introduce you to Deb, my girlfriend. Sweetie, this beautiful woman over here, is the one I owe my cuteness to.” He said laughing, “this is my mother, and this is Sam, a family friend.”

  “Apologies.” Said the girl, “I told Mark it wasn’t a good idea for me to come today, but he insisted and he gave me no choice.”

  “Don’t worry about it.” Evelyn said. “You’re welcome.”

  Even though the girl seemed to be very well educated when she apologized for coming, Evelyn was a little upset with Mark. Why did he choose today to introduce her girlfriend? Then she smiled to herself to think she was being a little selfish feeling jealous for this poor girl that her son’s impulsivity wasn’t even her fault.

  Chapter 6

  Dinner went by with a more relaxed feeling after going through tense moments before. Evelyn promised herself to enjoy the night and to manage that, she had to relax, after realizing it was only up to her to have a good time, everything went better after that. Besides, Deb won her over by telling her about her trip to Greece last year. As Eve was listening to her, she was getting more enthusiastic about the idea of taking that trip. Samuel, after that bitter moment of being called “the family friend,” was just waiting for the right time to propose to Evelyn and give her the ring he had been checking on all night to make sure it was still there.

  Evelyn was delighted with the dinner, she had eaten in Greek restaurants before, but this was different; without having experience on the flavors, she could tell they were different, maybe just knowing that the owner was really Greek, her perception changed when she tasted the exotic plates.

  When it was time for dessert, Mark took a deep breath before putting a yellow envelope in front of his mother. He didn’t know how she would take it. She’d probably hit his head with it, but he was the only one who could complete the fateful mission to give her the present from the person no one talked about.

  It was also the moment Sam picked to take the little box out from his pocket that was burning his chest. He only had time to introduce his hand in his jacket when he froze when he saw Mark gave Evelyn an envelope. Now I’ll have to wait, he thought, and he put his hand on the table.

  “What is this?” Evelyn asked surprised.

  “If you don’t open it, you’ll never know.” Mark responded.

  Evelyn took the envelope as if it was going to bite her any minute, she opened it and pulled out a plastic see through cover that allowed us to see plane tickets and in big gold letters it read GREECE. She froze puzzled and looked at her son, and he pointed at the envelope that was still on her hand. She quickly put her hand in it and took out a white sealed envelope; apparently it was a letter but it didn’t say who it was from. Evelyn nervously opened it to see what it said.

  She recognized it was Judith’s writing, she didn’t want to read it at first, she actually folded the letter again, but Mark’s expression made her read it after all.

  “Fine.” She said. “But I won’t read it aloud. It’s short so it won’t take long.”

  “Evelyn:

  I have always known your desire of going to Greece, I remember in high school you would always talk about it and it was one of the main reasons you wanted to take History in university, I think it’s time you have that adventure.

  Please, don’t think I’m trying to gain your forgiveness. I just want to contribute to make your dream come true.

  With love,

  Judith.”

  She tried not to show any emotion, but her eyes gave her away. In silence she gave the envelope back to Mark and shook her head.

  “But, you’re not going?” Mark asked impatiently.

  “This is not the time to talk about this. Sam, can we go now? I’m exhausted.”

  “Of course.” Sam replied distracted. The only thing he could think of was that his chance to talk to Eve was ruined; he knew her perfectly to know she would have an attitude impossible to stand, and he felt sorry for Mark, as he knew he would be in trouble when he gets home.

  “Eve.” He said as they were heading back.

  “What?”

  “Let’s go to the beach.”

  “Now? It’s late Samuel.”

  “I want to do something crazy. It’s almost summer time.”

  “You want to make me feel better?”

  “Not just that, I love you and I want to make you happy. We could stay at a motel, it would be an adventure.”

  “You know what? I like the idea, getting out of the routine doesn’t sound bad. OK, let’s do it.”

  “I know you think I’m very predictable, but sometimes I like to get a little crazy.”

  To respond, Evelyn reached and ran her fingers through his cheek, she played with his hair and kissed him.

  The mo
st direct route to the beach from Sacramento was about ninety minutes approximately. They arrived at Santa Cruz around midnight, Evelyn had fallen asleep and Sam woke her up gently after parking at the beach.

  “Sweetie, we’re here.”

  “Where?”

  “At the beach, did you forget?”

  “Oh! I had forgotten, what time is it?”

  “Almost midnight.”

  “Good, I want to go to the shore. Wait, I’ll take my shoes off.”

  “Me too. Wait a second while I put them behind my jacket.”

  Evelyn gave him her shoes and quickly took the pins off that were holding her hair up. She hadn’t realized Sam’s presence until he gave her a kiss on the neck.

  “Hug me.” She asked him.

  “I can’t, my hands are busy.”

  “With what?” Evelyn asked laughing, but her eyes opened wide when she saw Sam had a blanket and a basket with him. “What’s this? You’re very mischievous Samuel Bauer.

  “Well, I didn’t know if it would work, but I had to try.”

  “You haven’t stopped surprising me all night.”

  “Is that good or bad?”

  “What do you think?”

  “I’ll think the odds are in my favor. Shall we go down? We have the whole beach to ourselves.”

  Samuel took Eve by the hand and went down slowly the rock path that led to the beach. They went until the sand was humid. They extended the blanket and Sam leaned to take out everything from the basket: a bottle of champagne, two glasses, cheese and some candy. Then he stood straight with the only purpose of taking Eve into his arms, it was a magical moment that she interrupted laughing.

  “First you’ll have to catch me.” She said and started to run.

  “You’re behaving like a little girl.” I thought out loud knowing she couldn’t hear him, “but you’re adorable and I adore you.”

  Eve, not knowing Sam’s thoughts, ran by the shore, getting away from the waves as they threaten to wet her feet.

  When Sam got to her, Evelyn stopped laughing when she noticed the desire he felt through his eyes even though it was dark out. He took her into his arms and kissed her tenderly, she simply let herself go with it; she didn’t want to think of anything else but this moment.

  After a while they covered themselves with the blanket and Samuel opened the bottle very loudly.

  “A toast for you.” He said raising his glass.

  “I don’t find anything special about getting older.”

  “You’re not getting old, just more experienced.”

  “I don’t feel old and as for experience, I still have more to live through some more.”

  “Like what?”

  “Like...I’ve never done it in a beach.”

  “No? It’s time to experience then.” Sam put the basket aside and took Eve’s glass. “I will teach you.” He said while unbuttoning her dress.

  Chapter 7

  After a while of letting their passion take over, they were in the motel bed kissing each other. Sam thought it was the perfect time to propose, but first he had to ask her something.

  “Are you going?”

  “Go? Where?”

  “Greece. The plane ticket, remember?”

  “Oh! That, I forgot about that.”

  “Well, are you?”

  “No.”

  “Why? You’ve always wanted to go.”

  “Because she gave them to me, I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “Her? Who?” Sam insisted.

  “My mother.” Evelyn answered annoyed.

  “You haven’t forgiven her?”

  “We haven’t talked in over twenty years, and you want me to accept a gift from her? After I came to California she called me a couple of times but when she found out I left Josh, she stopped calling.

  “And you’re still resentful.”

  “How could I not be? She practically got rid of me, her fake moral standards were more important. She didn’t care what would happen to me when I married the guy who raped me. The only thing she cared about was the things people from church would say.”

  “Love, they’re not different in my culture; a lot of the times the fear of scandal is more powerful than any other feeling. But don’t you want to know about her? Aren’t you curious?”

  “Sometimes. It would’ve been wonderful to have a mother to turn to for support and for Mark to have his grandparents...” Evelyn couldn’t continue because her voice broke.

  “Relax my love, please forgive me, I shouldn’t have asked about it.”

  “No, I’m not going to cry, it’s not worth it. Wait, I have to go to the bathroom.”

  “OK, go.” Sam told her giving her a gentle tap on her butt.

  When Evelyn returned from the bathroom, she noticed a very suspicious attitude; he was still in bed leaning on the headboard. Suspecting he was up to something, she ignored him and decided to pick the clothes up from the floor. Then she looked for a bag they bought at the pharmacy on the counter and took out a hairbrush to brush her hair.

  “What are you doing?”

  “The dress, I don’t want to ruin in because Sarah gave it to me.”

  “No, I’m asking why you’re brushing your hair right now. Come back to bed.”

  “I do it every night.”

  Losing his patience, Samuel got out of bed to reach for her and sat her down softly. When they were both sitting down, Sam reached out for something underneath the pillow.

  “I would’ve liked to do it some other way, but the right time never came, but after all, this is a good time as any...Evelyn Thomas, would you marry me?” He said opening a little box with the ring in it.

  “It’s beautiful!”

  “So then, do you accept it?”

  She took the box into her hands and closed it again. She felt bad about Sam’s enthusiasm. She loved him, but it wasn’t enough.

  “I’m sorry, but I can’t.”

  “You can’t or you don’t want to? Why? I don’t understand.”

  “I don’t want to get married, with anyone. We don’t need to get married to be happy, I am willing to move in together, but not getting married.”

  “But I want to marry you, you know it. We’ve been like this for three years, without a definition.”

  “You want to put a name to it.”

  “I want us to become a family.”

  “But we can do it without signing a paper. The fact that we’ve been together all these years proves that I want to be with you, doesn’t it?

  Sam, feeling more relaxed, hugged Evelyn while kissing her on the forehead and her eyes.

  “Fine, if that’s your condition, we’ll try it. We’ll move in together and see how that goes. I guess I’ll have to go to your apartment since you won’t want to live at my place.”

  “You know me well. I know my apartment is small and without all the amenities that you’re used to, but if everything goes well, then I’ll consider looking for a bigger place. What do you say?

  “Fine, your choice. But...”

  “But what?”

  “I want you to wear the ring. Don’t take this as an engagement, just something symbolic. Maybe looking at it daily, you’ll like the idea.”

  “Like a subliminal message?” She asked laughing.

  “It’s cute, isn’t it?

  “It’s cute. OK, I’ll wear it.” Evelyn took the right from the little box and slid it through her right hand finger and stretched her arm to admire it. “It truly is beautiful.”

  “Now,” Sam said. “We have to close our deal.”

  “And how will we do that?”

  “The best way I know.” Sam said while taking off her underwear.

  Chapter 8

  “Eve, where is my blue shirt?”

  “I haven’t seen it.”

  “I can’t find it. I’ve looked everywhere and it’s not here.”

  “Did you look for it in the basket from the laundry?”

  “Yes, b
ut it’s not there.”

  “And you have to wear blue today? Can’t you wear something else?”

  “I always use it when I have important meetings.”

  “Do you want to tell me about it? You’ve been really intriguing lately.”

  “I’ll tell you when I have something to tell, not before, if it doesn’t work out, then it won’t be necessary.”

  “It bothers me that you don’t trust me.”

  “Don’t get upset sweetie, it’s just a habit I can’t get rid of. It’s kind of supposition”

  “But you’re Jewish; you’re not supposed to have suppositions.”

  “I know...it bothers me not to be able to find my stuff.”

  “I’m sorry I’m not the perfect house wife. See, living together is not the same thing as dating?”

  “Are you doing this on purpose to convince me? It won’t work.”

  “No, I’m just saying because sometimes we don’t like to see the less attractive side of the people we love, routines show us who we really are.”

  “I see. Well, I’ll see you in the afternoon.” Sam looked into Evelyn’s eyes for a long while and left without giving her a goodbye kiss as always.

  They had been living together for a month and Evelyn was realizing that things were not working out for them. It was hard to deal with his perfectionism and his fixations, which there were few. And of course he didn’t get used to the mess of the apartment and her laid back personality. They still hadn’t had a serious discussion, but she knew it was approaching, especially since she decided to adopt a kitten from the street and she let him sleep on their bed and Sam couldn’t stand his purr.

  When Sarah looked at Evelyn she knew there was trouble in paradise, her friend had always a joyful attitude, and she could hardly hide what she was feeling even if she was silent.

  “Eve, what’s wrong?”

  “It’s not working out.”

  “What? I don’t understand.”

  “Sam is about to burst, he is containing himself not to.”