Keeping Him

by Kennedy Fox

  Deciding to take up Nicole’s offer, I head to the B&B with a six-pack of beer and am surprised when I’m greeted by Colton who’s already drinking and sitting on the back porch with her.

  “Thought you’d be crying in a bottle of whiskey after all the bitchin’ you did today,” I say to Colton as soon as he spots me.

  “You must be mistaking me for yourself because I kicked ass today.”

  I snort, shaking my head and taking a seat. “Is that why you pussied out before noon? Can’t play with the big dogs, huh?” I grab my beer and twist off the cap before handing one to Nicole.

  “You motherfucker,” he spits, punching me in the arm.

  “You might want to head in early since you’ll be doing it for the rest of the week while Alex is gone.”

  He groans loudly, making all of us laugh.

  “So what did they name the baby?” Nicole asks, breaking the playful tension.

  “Rowan,” I answer. “She looks just like River, too. Dark hair and dimples. She’s a cutie.”

  “Aw, I love that name! I can’t wait to meet her. I bet Riley is excited.”

  I laugh, remembering what Riley said. “Actually, he said he didn’t want her to come home with them because she cries and smells.”

  Nicole laughs, placing a hand on my arm to emphasize how funny she thinks I am. Though I was only repeating what happened, the act doesn’t go unnoticed. We continue talking about the baby and Riley, and soon Colton is forgotten.

  “Well…since I’m the awkward third wheel here, I’m gonna head home and update my Tinder profile picture.”

  I snort at his obvious butt hurt tone. Though I love giving him shit, he’s good company and a hard worker. But there’s no competition when it comes to getting a girl’s attention. I don’t have any say in that most times anyway.

  “Don’t make me have to give you another wake-up call, Mr. Claus,” I taunt as he steps off the porch.

  He gives me a one-finger salute and mutters for me to fuck off.

  Once we’re alone, Nicole and I finish off the six-pack, and I invite her over to my place for another drink. I only have whiskey and beer, so as soon as we walk in, I pour us each three shots.

  The rest of the night is mostly a blur.

  “Fuuuuuuuck,” I groan as my alarm goes off. I squint to find my phone and turn off the beeping noise. My head is pounding, which isn’t unusual for me early in the morning after a night of drinking, but it literally feels like I fell asleep ten minutes ago.

  I try rolling over but am blocked by another body and soon realize I’m not alone. An arm snakes around my waist and flashes of the night before surface. Nicole’s hand slides down my stomach until she reaches my dick and grabs it.

  “Mmm…is that morning wood or are you just happy to see me?” she asks lazily, pouring the seduction on heavily.

  I snort, trying to hold back my laughter at her pathetic opening line. “Sorry, darlin’. Gotta get ready for work.” I peel her hand off me, but she tightens her grip as if that’ll suddenly change my mind. “I think you’re still drunk,” I tell her, maneuvering out of her reach. “Stay here and sleep it off.” Swinging my legs to the side of the bed, I find my shorts on the floor and quickly put them on.

  Having slept with her is going to make things awkward really quick. I continue my daily duties, hoping she realizes it was nothing more than a one-night stand. Considering I don’t remember the before conversation, I’m not sure if I really drove that fact home. Hopefully, I did.

  After my morning lessons, I walk inside the B&B and check in with John, but first I grab a cup of coffee because I need caffeine and a possible wake-up call.

  “Is there a reason my assistant manager is asking for a raise?” John’s voice booms behind me, and I know without a doubt he knows.

  I turn around, flashing a smug grin. “Probably because she works sixty hours a week, and lately, the coffee hasn’t been that great. Might want to check on finding a new distributor or—”

  “Cut the shit, Jackson,” he interrupts, closing the gap between us. “You should know more than anyone that you don’t shit where you eat. Now she’s asking for a raise and claiming she’ll file a sexual harassment suit if she doesn’t get one.”

  “What?” I shriek, taking a cautious step back. “That’s blackmail. Not to mention, she’s lying considering she had her hand tightly wrapped around my dick this morning before I even got out of bed.”

  “Jesus fuck, Jackson,” he hisses. “How many times have I told you not to sleep with any of my employees, friends, or anyone who’ll come back to bite me in the ass? If she files a sexual harassment suit with the Department of Labor, we’ll get investigated, and I don’t need that shit around here. This is one of our busiest times of the year.”

  “She’s bluffing,” I say, trying to calm his ass down. “I know it, and she knows it. She has no proof I harassed her.”

  “And you have no proof that you didn’t. That’s why they’d bring an investigator in and interview the other employees. You really want to take your chances?”

  Fuck. I hadn’t thought about that. “Look, I’ll talk to her, okay? Figure out what it is she wants and get her to leave you and the B&B out of this.”

  “You better, Jackson. Or your ass is out of here. I mean it.” He walks away, slamming his office door behind him.

  Well shit. That escalated to a level I hadn’t seen coming.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Kiera

  “Oh my gosh, River!” I squeal, reaching for baby Rowan and holding her to my chest. “She’s so cute and tiny!”

  I decided to skip out on work this afternoon and have a girls’ lunch with River and Emily. Fifty percent to gush over the new baby and the other fifty to discuss the wedding. The only one missing is Mila, and she had to work.

  “I love her name,” I tell her. “She’s seriously so sweet!” Sitting down on the couch, I look down at her wrapped in a plush pink blanket and think about how I can’t wait to hold my own baby someday. Hopefully soon.

  “Baaaaaabyyyy…” Elizabeth points at Rowan, and the three of us squeal in a round of aw’s. She’s getting so big, too, which makes my heart melt.

  “Elizabeth, don’t you want to be a big sister?” I ask, smiling at Emily.

  “Baaaaaabyyyyy,” she repeats, pointing at Emily’s stomach. River and I give her a pointed look, waiting to see if she needs to tell us something else. They got married nearly four months ago, and I know she wanted to start trying right away.

  “Something you want to announce?” I raise a brow in her direction, eyeing the glass of wine I poured for her earlier, but she has yet to drink.

  “No, not yet.” She laughs. “Still trying.” Emily sighs. “Between work schedules, an energetic toddler, and on-call room quickies, we haven’t gotten pregnant yet.”

  “Well damn.” I wrinkle my nose. “Wait for me then. I want to be knocked up by Christmas!”

  River and Em laugh, knowing how badly I want to start a family. I hope it doesn’t take too long. My parents were only able to have one child, and they didn’t have me until their early thirties. I worry my window to reproduce is getting smaller and smaller.

  “Don’t stress. I’ve known plenty of honeymoon babies. As long as you’re off the pill and actively trying, I think you should get pregnant pretty quickly. Assuming there are no medical issues of course,” Emily concludes.

  “Medical issues, like…my eggs have all dried up, and I’m unable to bear children?” I snicker, but really frowning at the thought.

  “You aren’t that old,” she says, laughing. “I’m the same age as you, have a one-year-old, and am hoping to have more, so stop worrying. Stress and anxiety can affect getting pregnant too. So, tell Trent to start giving you nightly massages.”

  I snort at the thought. “Oh please. Massages will lead to sex.”

  “Isn’t that the whole purpose?” River chimes in with a chuckle.

  “Well yes, but I’m still on the pill
. I don’t plan to go off it until the end of September so that it’s fully out of my system after the wedding.”

  “If you want my advice,” River interrupts. “Getting drunk for like two weeks straight is what knocked me up the first time.”

  We all start laughing, and I wish I was able to lighten up a bit about the subject. River is younger and already has two babies, so it’s hard for me not to feel as if I’m late to the game.

  “Oh yeah, I’ve seen plenty of drunken one-night stand pregnancies too,” Emily says. “Probably because you’re pretty damn stress free when you’re wasted.”

  We laugh, and I snuggle Rowan tighter, trying to capture all these sweet and tender moments. They all grow up so fast, and I find myself wanting to sink it all in while I can. The three of us are close, but we all get so busy and wrapped up in our lives that we sometimes forget to slow down and really enjoy times like this.

  “So I heard John and Jackson had it out,” River says after a couple of minutes. “Alex didn’t tell me all the details, but I figured one of you know why. He thinks because I’m hormonal and breastfeeding that I’m a fragile little bird who needs to stay inside and be a round-the-clock milk machine,” she says with annoyance in her tone.

  We chuckle at her overdramatics, knowing she’s been stuck in the house ever since they returned from the hospital. Her VBAC was a success, but she’s still sore and recovering from the birth.

  “Wait, they did?” I ask, just processing her words. “About what this time?” I snort because it’s always something between them. They live to give each other shit.

  Emily’s eyes lower, not meeting mine, and I know it’s not good.

  “What?” I ask, nudging her. “What’d I miss?”

  “Yeah, spill it, Em,” River encourages.

  “Well, Jackson…” Emily pauses for a moment. “…hooked up with Nicole a couple of weeks ago, and later that day, she told John she wanted a raise or she’s filing a sexual harassment suit.”

  “Oh my God!” River blurts out, and I’m thinking the same thing. Except I have a few more colorful words to add. First, Nicole of all people? Jackson has never slept with someone who works on the ranch, so I’m more than a little shocked. Though, maybe that means he’s doing fine with me getting married and is continuing his man whore ways. Well, minus the harassment suit.

  “So, did she sleep with him just to get the raise or did she get her feelings hurt and is now crying wolf?” I ask a little too defensively. Jackson would never force himself on anyone. He doesn’t need to. Girls willingly flock to him. Hell, they basically take off their clothes before giving their names.

  “That’s what they’re arguing about. John’s pissed he crossed the line, and Jackson’s pissed she used him. Though it’s probably a bit of both. I’m sure Jackson wasn’t Mr. Cuddles the next morning, and she got all butt hurt over it,” Emily explains, which makes a lot of sense. “John said he better figure it out or his ass is out of there.”

  “What does that mean?” I ask.

  “I guess he won’t be allowed to help at the B&B anymore,” Emily says with uncertainty. “Or maybe he just said that because he was pissed at the time. Either way, it’s created some tension, and of course, Evan told them both to stop being assholes.”

  “So what happens if she does file a claim?” I ask. I’m honestly surprised something like this hasn’t happened sooner, but I don’t say that aloud.

  “I guess a whole investigation happens, which will look bad for the B&B, and Mama would shit bricks.” Emily sighs, and we all know it to be true. “I’m guessing John’s going to give her the raise to keep her quiet.”

  “That’s serious bullshit. I’d fire her ass for extortion,” I snip. “Makes me want to go over there and give her a piece of my—”

  Before I can finish, Riley comes barging into the living room wearing only his Spiderman undies and climbs up the couch to lie next to River.

  “Hey, buddy. How was your nap?” she asks him, and I know our adult conversation is over.

  Looking down at Rowan, I think about Jackson and what he must be going through. But then I remind myself it’s not my problem to worry about his personal business or his irresponsible behavior that constantly gets him into trouble.

  “So I’m thinking I’m going to need to go and get my dress taken in. I’m hoping by the wedding, I’m back to my pre-pregnancy weight. Or at least my post-Riley weight.” River laugh-pouts, and I shake my head at her for being so worried. The wedding is over two months away, which gives her plenty of time to adjust her dress. I still think she was all baby anyway, but now that she’s had two pregnancies, she’s concerned about her stomach not going back as swiftly as the last time.

  “If you’re that worried, we can add a cute belt to cinch at your waist. That way it’ll still be loose and flowy without it looking like a maternity dress.”

  “I love that idea!” Emily exclaims. “That way if I get pregnant before then, I won’t have to worry about being bloated and feeling fat.”

  Giving her a side-eye, I smirk at her eagerness. “You wouldn’t even be showing.”

  “Second pregnancy showing is so much different than the first!” River jumps in. “When I was pregnant with Riley, you couldn’t tell until the second trimester. With Rowan, I popped overnight at like two months. Your muscles stretch so much faster after the first one.”

  “So what you’re saying is maternity dresses for everyone?” I ask laughing, and they both laugh with me.

  “Did you guys choose your flowers yet?”

  “Ooh, did you guys decide on a wedding song?”

  “Also, the rings. Is he picking his out, or are you surprising him with one?”

  River and Emily are bombarding me with questions—ones that I should easily have answers to—but all I can think about is Jackson and how he knows exactly the kind of wedding I’d want.

  Small, intimate, charming.

  Trent has a large family and a wide customer base, so as the guest list grew, so did everything else in terms. Now it’s a big, extravagant ordeal.

  As the stress of the wedding wears me down, our relationship seems to be dwindling, too. Finding those bank statements in his desk, though he explained the reasoning for them, still has me second-guessing, and my gut instinct still tells me something is off. I’m not sure if it’s just nerves or the uneasiness I feel when he gets upset over Jackson. The way he talks about the Bishops is a red flag that makes me wonder if I’ve overlooked the type of person he is all this time because he was so amazing in the beginning. He was so sweet, thoughtful, caring. Being with him felt so right, and the way he acted was what made me fall in love with him in the first place. I’ve wanted the whole fairy tale relationship for so long that now I’m scared I’ve ignored the obvious.

  But maybe the stress of the wedding is taking a toll on him, too, and we’re both taking it out on each other?

  I hope so anyway because I’ve waited over thirty years to find my happily ever after, and I’ll be damned if I let it slip away.

  After leaving River’s house and make a mental note of everything that still needs to be done for the wedding, I drive to the ranch to check on the horses and finish the chores I missed earlier.

  I clean the stall Chief was in before Jackson picked him up, and it makes me think of him again. I shouldn’t be upset, or hell, even surprised he slept with Nicole, but I can’t help feeling jealous over it. He’s always had an adventurous and carefree personality, and his one-night stands have been part of the Jackson package since we were in high school. However, it doesn’t make it easier to be told specifics. When it’s just the two of us hanging out and having a good time, it’s easy to forget that side of him and pretend we’ll someday end up together.

  Except that dream died years ago, and the only thing I can hope for is keeping him as my best friend.

  Kiera: Heard you got yourself into some trouble…when ya gonna learn??

  Jackson: I learned chicks were crazy ye
ars ago, but this wasn’t my fault.

  I roll my eyes and snicker.

  Kiera: You always say that.

  Jackson: What can I say? I’m a magnet for trouble :)

  Kiera: How you haven’t knocked up someone yet is beyond me. You must be shooting blanks.

  Jackson: Pfft! Just because I ride bareback doesn’t mean I let girls ride me bareback ;)

  Kiera: GAG. You’re relentless.

  Jackson: You love me.

  Kiera: Debatable.

  Jackson: Coming to visit me soon? It gets lonely out here.

  Kiera: Sure, I can stop by tomorrow. Want to check on Chief anyway.

  Jackson: Okay, see you then, Pippi.

  I don’t know why my heart races every time he calls me that, but it does. I find myself wishing for those careless, fun, adventurous days again.

  “Alright, guys. Be good,” I tell the horses after cleaning their stalls and putting out some hay. I want to surprise Trent with a nice dinner tonight, so I head out early and will get back to training tomorrow.

  Before I pull into the driveway, I check the mail and am surprised to see a large manilla envelope inside with Trent’s name on it. Once I walk into the house, I flip through the letters and set it all on the counter except the large one for Trent. It doesn’t have a return address, and a part of me wants to rip it open and look inside.

  Instead, I decide to take a shower and get dinner ready. I wash the day away and think back to the conversations I had with River and Emily. There’s so much left to do for the wedding, and I suddenly get overwhelmed.

  After I’m dried and dressed, I head to the kitchen and dig out the ingredients for tonight’s meal. As I’m sautéing the onions, I glance over at the envelope again, and temptation pulls me toward it. It might be work related, but something tells me it’s not.