Keeping Him

by Kennedy Fox

  I lift an eyebrow at her as we continue dancing to the next song. “Jackson.” I was halfway tempted to give her John’s name, but I stopped doing that in my early twenties, and now that he’s married, it might not be a good idea. Mila is fierce and might actually hurt someone.

  “I like that. I’m Kelsey.”

  I spin her around and pull her to my chest. “Nice to meet you, Kelsey.”

  She asks me more questions about myself, and while I don’t typically give women so much personal information, at this point, I have nothing to lose. I’ll probably never see her again anyway. Eventually, the song ends, and we go to the bar and take a few shots, compliments of Colton’s open tab. It’s actually the only way I know he’s still here, considering I haven’t seen him in a while. Pretty soon, I’m seeing double of Kelsey, and when she invites me back to her room, I can’t say no. Still not able to find Colton, I shoot him a text and tell him which room and hotel I’m going to. Though I’m off tomorrow, I still need to feed the horses at a decent time, but I kinda don’t give two shits about it at the moment.

  As soon as we walk into the room, our lips crash together. But each time I kiss her, I think of Kiera. She almost smells like her, too, and when I close my eyes, that’s who I imagine. One thing leads to another, and soon we’re naked between the sheets. After we’re both satisfied and panting, I pass out.

  The next morning, I wake up before the sun does with a splitting headache. I roll over and see strawberry blonde hair, and my heart drops. Where the fuck am I and who the fuck am I with? The night comes back in flashes, and I recall leaving the bar with someone, but the rest is a blur. I let out a sigh of relief when I see the condom wrappers on the nightstand. Picking up my phone, I see I have a message from Colton telling me which room he’s in. I’m so fucking happy he didn’t leave me. Being as quiet as possible, I try to get dressed, but when the woman in the bed rolls over and feels for me, knowing I’m not there, her eyes flutter open. I still, wishing I could disappear.

  She smiles. “Sneaking out so early?”

  Busted. “I have tons of shit to do back at the ranch. Gotta feed the horses.”

  Sitting up, she pulls the sheet over her breasts. “One question, Jackson.”

  I button up my jeans and start to slip on my boots. “Sure.”

  “Who’s Kiera?”

  My heart drops, and my brows pinch together. I finish putting on my boots, then grab my shirt and button it up. I try to ignore her question, but I know that’s not happening because she’s staring at me, waiting for my answer. “Why?”

  “Because for some reason, you kept calling me that all night.”

  Heat rushes through my body as the realization hits me in full force. It’s gotten to the point where I can’t even have a one-night stand without thinking about her. Now I’m saying her name too?

  I’m more fucked than I actually thought.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Kiera

  ONE MONTH BEFORE THE WEDDING

  Warm hands wrap around my body, and I somewhat remember Trent kissing me goodbye this morning. Lately, I’ve been exhausted with all the horses I’ve taken on, which probably wasn’t a good idea, considering the wedding is in a month. Eventually, my alarm buzzes, and I fumble for the snooze button, though I know it’s a wasted attempt, but I seriously need five more minutes. Soon my phone is screaming for me to get up, and I force myself out of bed. I place my feet on the floor and unlock my phone, turning off the five alarms I set, and notice Trent still isn’t home. He left super early this morning, so I give him a call, but of course, he doesn’t answer. I notice I have a few text messages and open them one by one.

  I open Mila’s first, and my eyes widen.

  “No,” I whisper. I close out of her text message and open River’s, then Emily’s. Each of them letting me know there was a fire at the Bishop ranch and were all sent two hours ago. I rush out of bed and get dressed as fast as I possibly can. As soon as I’m walking out the door, I call Emily, knowing she’s awake at this ungodly hour.

  “What happened?” I ask as soon as she answers, thinking the worst.

  “Well good morning to you,” she says, amused.

  “Is everyone okay?” There’s panic in my voice, and she instantly tries to calm me, but I’m already dressed and out the door, driving toward the ranch.

  “Someone set the equipment barn on fire. No one was hurt. However, everything’s a complete loss. But get this, the firemen are speculating it was intentional, and since the Bishops wouldn’t set their own barn on fire, it has to be arson. There’s no electricity to that barn, and they found a gasoline trail of where someone scattered it everywhere. There’ll still be a full investigation done, though, because of having to claim on insurance.”

  “Oh my God! Who would do something like that?” I turn onto the country road and travel as fast as I can over there.

  “Not sure. Whoever did it is a total asshole. Hundreds of thousands of dollars’ worth of equipment lost,” Emily says.

  “Thank God for insurance, but seriously, it’s going to take time to replace everything. I hate that Mr. Bishop has to go through that,” I tell her.

  “I know. Evan said his dad is distraught. But hey, I gotta go. Call me this afternoon, okay?”

  I swallow hard, thinking about my second family. “I will. Have fun at work. Save some lives or something.”

  She laughs. “Trying!”

  A few moments later, I’m making a right turn on the gravel road that leads to the B&B. It’s not even six yet, and I have a million things to do, but everything else can wait. As soon as I pull up to where the equipment barn is, my heart sinks. The barn has completely collapsed, and the wood is nothing more than smoking ash. All the tractors, backhoes, bulldozers, and other farming equipment are destroyed. My mouth falls open as I stare at it in shock.

  After I park the truck, I get out and see a group of ranch hands and the volunteer fire department huddled around Jackson as he points to different areas of the barn that are still burning. When he turns around, he spots me and gives me a quick wave.

  It’s been a few weeks since I’ve seen him. Not that I’ve wanted to purposely avoid him, but I’ve found it best while Trent and I work on mending our relationship, especially after our last big fight. Though from what I’ve heard, it’s not like Jackson has even noticed.

  He says something to the guys standing around, then tucks his hands in his pockets and walks toward me. My heart immediately stammers in my chest. Instead of his normal cowboy hat, he’s wearing a baseball cap. I’ve always liked the way they’ve looked on him.

  “Hey,” he says, making direct eye contact.

  “Is everyone okay? Your dad?” I ask.

  Jackson licks his lips and turns to look back at the disaster area. “Some of the stuff that was in that barn isn’t replaceable. An old tractor that my great grandfather used to farm. It held a lot of memories for him. There was some other antique farm equipment that was passed down to like four generations too. It’s all a total loss.”

  The tension between us is almost too much. “Do y’all know how it started?”

  “With gasoline. I think it was doused around the barn. I found a line on the grass where it was started.” His jaw ticks. “I don’t know who would do something like this to my family, but it’s real personal.”

  I let out a deep breath. “Yeah, I can’t imagine.”

  “Why are you here, Kiera?” He finally turns and meets my eyes again.

  My face contorts. “What does that even mean? Y’all are like my second family, Jackson. Wanted to see for myself that everyone is fine.”

  “We’re fine.” He’s being short, and I don’t like it.

  “Okay. Well looks like you got it all under control, I guess.”

  A moment later, Colton walks up with a big grin smacked across his face.

  “Hey Kiera,” he says, walking over and giving me a big hug. Jackson watches us, but his face stays straight. We haven’t
talked about the fight, and I’ve been keeping my distance since then so everyone can cool down. It’s awkward, but I didn’t expect it to be like this. Jackson and I have had arguments before, but we always work through them. Honestly, though, I don’t know what the hell I expected. I didn’t think when I rushed over, and maybe I shouldn’t have come at all.

  “Still marrying that douchebag?” Colton asks, and I slap him and roll my eyes.

  I narrow my eyes at his rude comment. “Trent isn’t a douche, and yes, the wedding is still on,” I tell him. All he does is shrug.

  “Just know, I’ve got a fifteen hundred dollar bet on it not happening, so make me a rich man.” Colton pokes at me.

  “You’re the worst.” I groan, trying to keep my attention on him. “Who’s the bet with?”

  Colton points at Jackson. “That asshole right there. He shook that it’s happening. I’m not convinced yet.”

  “The wedding is in a month. Pretty sure you’re gonna lose this one, Colton.”

  He shrugs, but the smirk on his face doesn’t falter. Turning my head, I look at Jackson who’s as still as a statue. He makes eye contact with me for a moment before he turns and walks back to the group of firemen who are still trying to put out the burning wood.

  “He’s in a mood today,” Colton says. “Don’t worry about him.”

  The smile that was on my face falls. “I just don’t know if it will ever be the same between us.”

  Colton gives me a small shrug. “What will happen, will happen. You can’t worry about that.”

  “You’re right. So any idea on who’d do such a shitty thing?” I search his face.

  “No clue. Someone has it out for the Bishops, though. Kinda makes you second-guess everyone and everything. They’re one of the most respected families in the area, so I don’t get it.” He shakes his head. “I better get going. Take care of yourself, Kiera. Leave that d-bag.” He laughs.

  “You really didn’t bet all that money, did you?” I ask before turning to leave.

  “You better believe I did,” he says, chuckling.

  “Just when I thought you couldn’t get any stupider.” I playfully roll my eyes at him and walk back to my truck. I sit there for a few minutes, taking in the scene, and watch Jackson, wishing I could be there for him. But by the way he acted, I don’t feel too welcome. Instead of worrying about it, I chalk it up to him being stressed about the situation, then place the truck in reverse and head to my ranch to check on things. To know someone would do this to them makes me feel uneasy.

  After I quickly help feed the horses, I feel my phone vibrating in my back pocket and hurry to answer it when I see Trent’s name.

  “Hey, babe! I’ve been trying to get ahold of you all morning,” I tell him with a smile.

  “I know. Got an emergency call because Mrs. Miller’s mare was finally giving birth. Went over and helped deliver. You know how babies are; they come when they’re ready.” I can tell he’s smiling.

  “That’s true. Did you hear about the Bishops’ barn being set on fire? They lost everything inside.”

  There’s silence.

  “No, I didn’t. Is everyone okay?” he sincerely asks. I know even mentioning them is often a sore subject, but Trent is trying, and I can see and appreciate that.

  “Yeah, they are. Apparently, someone purposely did it. Who would do such a terrible thing?”

  Trent lets out a deep breath. “Probably Jackson so he could get some sympathy from everyone.”

  “Trent…” I warn.

  “I’m just kidding. I don’t know. I hope they find whoever did, though. Oh babe, can you run to the store and grab some bacon? I’m in the mood for breakfast before I head back out for the day. You should come join me too. I miss you.”

  It’s moments like this that I remember why I’m marrying him. He’s thoughtful. “Yeah. I sure will. I’m actually pretty hungry.”

  “I’m heading home now, so I’m going to jump in the shower. See you when you get here. Love you.”

  “Love you too.” I end the call and hurry to finish putting everything up before I head to the grocery store. My stomach growls the entire drive over because I left so quickly this morning. I didn’t grab anything, so breakfast together is a great idea.

  I enter the store and say hello to the ladies who’ve been working there since I was a kid. Just as I make my way to the back where the bacon is, I run into Mrs. Miller. My face instantly lights up when I see her.

  “Hey, Kiera, honey. Just got your invitation in the mail. How’s your mama doin’?” She gives me a big hug.

  “Mama’s doin’ good. Keepin’ her busy with all the wedding planning. How’s your little baby doin’ this morning?”

  Mrs. Miller looks at me like I’ve grown a third eye, which confuses me. “What are you talkin’ about, dear?”

  I keep the smile on my face. “Trent told me he helped deliver a colt this morning over at your property.”

  Mrs. Miller shakes her head. “Are you sure? I don’t have a pregnant mare. I actually haven’t seen Trent since the beginning of the year when he came out and gave shots to the horses.”

  I’m trying to recall all the conversations we’ve had over the past few months about Mrs. Miller. I know for a fact, he was talking about her. There are no other Millers in the area.

  “Honey, are you okay?”

  I nod and smile. “Yes, of course. He must’ve meant someone else, or I misheard him,” I say, but I know that’s not right. I swallow hard and plant that fake smile on my face.

  “Well, tell your mama I said hello. Good seeing you, Kiera. I’ll be at the weddin’. Can’t wait. It’s coming up real soon.”

  I give her another hug. “Yes, ma’am.”

  After she walks away, I stand and stare at the bacon for at least five minutes. My mind is racing a million miles per minute. If Trent didn’t deliver a horse early this morning, where the hell was he?

  I can’t concentrate, so I quickly grab a slab of bacon, go to the checkout line and pay, then head home. My heart is thumping in my chest as I pull up to the house, and I know I need to calm down before going in.

  I grab my grocery bag and walk inside, busying myself in the kitchen. A few minutes later, I hear the water stop, and soon, Trent’s warm fresh body is pulling me closer to him. I turn around, and we exchange a kiss. When we break apart, he’s smiling.

  “I wish you could’ve been there this morning to see Mrs. Miller’s colt. He was so cute. I stayed around until he took his first steps. There’s nothing like watching life being born.”

  “Really? That’s amazing,” I add, searching his face, knowing he’s lying. It’s almost frightening how he does it with so much ease. I want to believe him. I want to believe every word he’s saying as he continues going on and on about the foal and even went as far as describing how it looked.

  “So,” I say, finding a tad of courage, “I actually ran into Mrs. Miller at the grocery store.”

  Trent zeros in on me. “Really?” he asks with raised eyebrows.

  I nod as I scoop eggs and place bacon on plates for us.

  “She had no idea what I was talking about when I asked about the colt,” I tell him.

  In a snap, the charming smile returns. “Oh, Kiera…” He lets out a laugh. “It’s the Millers in San Angelo.”

  Relief floods me, but I’m pretty sure I would've known of more Millers unless they’re newer clients. Considering they’re in the town an hour away, it’s possible. I push the thought away, taking his word for it. “Oh.” I laugh nervously. That explains it.

  He stands and comes to me and kisses me. “You act like you don’t trust me or something.”

  I shake my head. “No, babe. I trust you. She just acted like I was crazy. I was confused, that’s all.”

  “Sorry, I should’ve mentioned that. It’s why I had to leave so early this morning so I could get there early.”

  I look up into his eyes. “Wish you would’ve snapped a photo for me. Can’t w
ait to start a horse family of my own,” I say.

  “I can’t wait to start a family with you.” He kisses me again, and it calms my nerves.

  “Me too.”

  We sit at the table and discuss our weekend plans along with last-minute wedding stuff. The rehearsal dinner is finalized along with all the fine details of the wedding. I’ve already picked up my dress and shoes, and everything seems to be finally sliding right into place, though we still haven’t decided on our honeymoon.

  “I was thinking Key West. Alex and River said it’s amazing,” I say between bites.

  “What about Hawaii? Or Australia?” he asks with a cute smirk.

  “I don’t have a passport, so Australia is a no. But Hawaii is a thought. Or how about you surprise me?” I wink at him.

  “Deal.” The mood turns slightly serious. “I want to talk to you about something.”

  I finish chewing and stare at him.

  “I know you want to start a family as soon as possible, and lately, that’s all I’ve been able to think about.”

  I nod. Listening to his every word.

  “What if we started trying now?” he asks.

  I chew on my bottom lip. “I have a confession to make too.”

  He studies me.

  “I stopped taking my birth control a week ago.” I’m trying to get rid of the wedding day jitters and all the nervousness I’ve felt about our relationship the past few months. It hasn’t been perfect, but Trent has proved to me time and again that he loves me dearly. He’s trying, and I can see that. We’d agreed we wanted to start a family as soon as possible, and when my prescription ran out, I didn’t get it refilled. I know once the wedding is over and we aren’t consumed by planning it, things will go back to normal between us.

  “Kiera.” He stands and comes to me, kissing me, pouring all his emotions out. I stand and wrap my arms around his neck. We break apart, our foreheads touching. “That’s the best news I’ve heard all day.”

  “I know it takes time to get pregnant sometimes, so I wanted to make sure nothing was holding us back.”