Keeping Him

by Kennedy Fox

  “I love you so fucking much. I can’t wait to make you my wife and start our family.”

  I grab his face in my hands and study him. “I can’t either.”

  We finish eating, and Trent cleans up the kitchen before telling me goodbye.

  “Let’s go out for dinner tonight,” he tells me between sweet kisses.

  “Are you asking me on a date, Dr. Laken?”

  He grabs my ass. “You better believe it. I should be home around seven.”

  We say our goodbyes again, and I walk him to the door. I let out a relieved breath that everything is okay, and that he wasn’t lying. Just as I step into the bathroom to wash my hands, I see his dirty clothes lying on the floor, and I pick them up to toss them into the hamper. Instantly, I stop walking.

  My heart lodges in my throat when I smell smoke and gasoline.

  I close my eyes tight and press his clothes to my nose, smelling the undeniable mixture of gas and smoke again, then replay the facts about the Bishop barn.

  It was arson. Someone used gasoline to set the barn on fire. It happened early morning.

  All the facts flood back, and I feel sick and drop the clothes on the floor. As I glance down, I notice something was spilled on the suede of his boots too. I pick them up and smell them, and it’s gas. They fall to the ground, and I feel as if I’m losing my mind.

  Is it possible Trent was the one who set the Bishop barn on fire? Or just a coincidence all the lies add up to it?

  I think back to the previous lies about the child he kept secret, the bank account he lied to my face about, and now all of this…I don’t know what to believe anymore. If he’s responsible for this, what else is he capable of? It’s a pretty hefty allegation to blame someone for arson, especially the man I’m supposedly set to marry in four short weeks.

  For the first time in our two-year relationship, I’m actually scared of what this all could mean and don’t know what to do. We just decided to actively try for a baby and hopefully start our family soon. How do things always go from great to worse in just a matter of minutes?

  Chapter Twenty

  Jackson

  With each passing day, I know I’m another day closer to losing Kiera forever. Though I agreed to be in the wedding and I bought the stupid vest and hat like she asked, I second-guess my decision every single day. After I picked up the lame wedding wear, I hung it on the back of my bedroom door, and now it’s a constant reminder that she’s getting married to Dr. Douchebag soon.

  When they first started dating, I was in a constant state of denial. I knew it wouldn’t work out between them, but as the days turned into months and transformed into years, I realized how wrong I actually was.

  Four weeks.

  In four weeks, she’ll be his.

  The thought makes me fucking sick.

  Just as I’m getting ready to fall asleep for the night, I get a call from my dad. Considering the time, I instantly know something's not right. Though he’s as calm as can be when I answer, he tells me the equipment barn is on fire. Within minutes, I’m dressed and down there watching so much history be destroyed. The look on my father's face as generations of farm equipment melts in the heat almost destroys me. I feel sick as I watch the wooden barn fall and the flames grow as the reserve tank of diesel fuel catches fire. There’s no way we’ll be able to save anything now and not being able to stop this makes me feel helpless.

  Soon, the volunteer fire department shows up along with Pettigrew, who takes statements from us all. I try to help the men put out the fire, but considering the equipment is also full of gas, it’s dangerous for us to get too close. Alex, Evan, and John rush over, too, and we’re trying our best to save anything we can, but we’re too late, and it’s written all over our faces. Instead, we stand and watch it all happen. I fucking hate this.

  As I search around, I notice a line of burnt grass off to the side that leads straight to the barn. It’s a long enough line, exactly how we used to start large bonfires in high school. I call Evan over.

  “Look at this,” I tell him, bending down to the ground.

  His eyes go wide. “Arson?”

  I nod. “Exactly. Someone did this shit on purpose.” My jaw clenches, and I’m so fucking mad, I can barely see straight.

  Evan notices and squeezes my shoulder. “We’ll find who did it and make them pay.”

  “Who would do this to our family?” I finally ask. “Why would someone do this?” I know there’s no answer to my questions, and my words linger as wood cracks and pops behind me. Eventually, Dad leaves, disgusted by it all. Alex goes to complete his morning duties and offers to feed the horses at the B&B too. I tell him how much I’d appreciate it if he did. Evan heads to work, and John goes to get the B&B ready for our morning guests. I stay with the volunteers, and eventually, Dad sends ranch hands over as the sun rises. The cleanup will start as soon as the insurance investigation is complete. It’s all a fucking mess.

  The loss I feel is indescribable. History and family heirlooms, irreplaceable items are now gone forever, and I can’t help but question the reasoning. As the sun slowly rises, pinks and purples splash across the sky. We try to contain the fire, so it doesn’t spread, but the barn was one of the largest on the property, so we might be dealing with this for the rest of the morning.

  Soon, I hear a truck hauling ass down the driveway, and I let out a deep breath when I see it’s Kiera. It’s been awhile since she’s been around because she’s obviously avoiding me. But I get it. Right now, I don’t want to see her because it physically hurts. I can’t ignore she’s here, though. Sucking in a deep breath, I tell the guys I’ll be back and head over to her, crossing the pasture.

  I can’t take my eyes away from her, and I think back to all the summers we spent together, laughing, getting in trouble, and even drinking. We’d sneak out and meet at our spot, start a fire, and shoot the shit. She was one of the guys. Kiera was my best friend who knew everything about me and all my secrets except one—the way I felt about her. A smile touches my lips as I think back to all the good times we shared over the years. The sound of her laughter used to give me life. There were so many lonely nights when she was away at college that I’d almost do anything to hear it, though I was determined to give her space.

  By the time I’m closer, the smile has long faded from my face, and I don’t know why she’s even here. Not after how I destroyed her fiancé’s face without any regrets. If his sorry ass showed up on this property right now, I’d do it again without thinking twice. My jaw ticks just thinking about it.

  The tension between us grows quickly, and the conversation is short, but I want to know why she’s here, so I ask. We’ve always been upfront with one another, not holding anything back but our feelings.

  “Why are you here, Kiera?” I finally ask. She looks at me like I slapped her and gives me some reason that I don’t care to hear. The rest of the conversation goes downhill quickly, and Colton soon walks up, interrupting us, thankfully, but he’s pushing every single button I have, which only pisses me off. Not able to be around her any longer without saying everything I feel, I walk away, cursing under my breath. I know I looked like a total asshole just now, but maybe it’s better this way. When I hear her truck driving down the road, I breathe a little easier.

  “You didn’t have to be such a dickhead back there,” Colton says to me with his arms across his chest.

  I roll my eyes at him. “Mind your own damn business.”

  Colton pretends to check a nonexistent watch. “Yep, still an asshole.”

  “You know how I feel about all this. It’s best if we keep our distance these days. Especially when she’s acting weird and running to Trent’s rescue. He’s a pussy who needs his woman to save him.” I crack my knuckles, thinking about the fight and bashing his face in again.

  One of the firemen walk up and interrupt our conversation, which I welcome.

  “I think we’re done here. Not much more we can really do. It’s going to burn
for the rest of the day I’m sure, but it’s contained,” he says.

  “Brett, right?” I ask, holding out my hand to give him a handshake and a thank you. “We appreciate y’all so much. It’s so impressive how fast you got here. I’m sure Mama’s gonna wanna have y’all over for lunch one day. Just wait for the invitation.” I chuckle.

  “We’re a hungry bunch; she can feed us anytime.” He looks over his shoulder at the rest of the men who came to help. He gives me a smile before they leave.

  I allow the rest of the ranch hands to go back to their regular duties. As Colton goes to walk away, I grab him by the shirt and shake my head. “You’re with me today, ass munch. Payback is gonna be a bitch.”

  His groan makes me smile. “And today we’re fixing the septic tank over at the ranch hand quarters,” I add.

  “Are you fuckin’ kiddin’ me?” Colton’s eyes go wide.

  “Apparently, y’alls turds are the size of logs, so now we get to fix the shit, literally.” I want to laugh, but I’m not joking.

  We make our way across the property, and unfortunately, Colton doesn’t stop with the Kiera questions.

  “Why don’t you just tell her how you feel?” he asks as we get out of the truck and walk toward the small shed that has the tools I need.

  “How do I feel? Apparently, you know, and everyone else knows, so please inform me.” I’m being an ass, but that seems to be my normal today. I’m just not in a good mood.

  “You love her, Jackson. Everyone knows that. Everyone. And you’re so goddamn stubborn about it.” He grabs a wheelbarrow and begins to stack bags of the bacteria we need to throw in the tank to unclog the pipes.

  “So let me get this straight. I’m supposed to go confess my undying love to her a month before she’s supposed to get married and just a few weeks after I kicked the living piss out of her fiancé?”

  I wait for his answer. He’s got nothing. “Easier said than done.”

  We head over to the septic tank and get to work, making sure no lines are busted, and there’s no debris. After we empty it, and everything checks out, we clean it, which makes me want to barf.

  “How did we get volunteered for this?” Colton asks.

  “I think it’s payback for the Nicole thing,” I admit.

  “You suck,” he tells me as we continue.

  “I know,” I say, pouring the two large sacks of bacteria in the tank and wait. We run the pumps and stick around for an hour, and everything seems to be working okay. Thankfully.

  I figure out where Dad and Alex are and drop Colton off with them because I’m tired of him jumping my ass about Kiera. He’s been riding me about this all day, and I finally just started ignoring him because it’s too damn late. I’ve accepted it. Everyone needs to understand that because I do.

  After I run home and wash the smell of shit from my body, I head over to the B&B with dread hovering over me. Ever since the Nicole thing happened, it’s been a fucking nightmare walking through the door. As soon as I enter, John’s jaw ticks.

  “Glad you’re so happy to see me.” I force a grin.

  “Can I help you?” he asks as he flips through the schedule book.

  I lean my body against the desk. “Just wanted to see what my baby brother was up to today.”

  He groans, which causes me to laugh.

  “I’m gonna take the rest of the day off,” I tell him. “I need to get my mind straight after everything that happened this morning.”

  “Okay,” John says. “I think your afternoon schedule is clear.”

  “Yeah, tomorrow will be busy, though. But I should be back by then.”

  He goes over all the lessons I have scheduled, and a guest walks up and asks a question, giving me time to sneak out. As I head out the front door, I walk past Nicole.

  “No hello or anything?” she says as she pulls weeds from the flower bed in front of the B&B.

  I stop walking and turn on my heels. “You think you deserve one?”

  She laughs and acts as if the allegations are a joke, a game or something, but I don’t think it’s funny. I probably shouldn’t speak to her and should pretend she doesn’t exist, but that’s not my style.

  Standing, she tugs the gloves off her hands and walks to me. “You’re not mad, right?”

  I chuckle sarcastically. “Nicole, I’m way past mad. I’m fucking livid. You used me.”

  She bites on the corner of her lip. “How does it feel?”

  Crossing my arms over my chest, I just stare at her.

  She continues with a glare. “I just gave you a little taste of your own bitter medicine. It’s called karma, Jackson. It was payback for all the women you left high and dry over the years.” She takes another step toward me. Before long, Nicole is standing only inches away from me.

  If I would’ve known she was a psycho, I would’ve never brought her home.

  “You’re fucking crazy.” My voice stays low so no one can overhear my words.

  “I’ll make a deal with you, Jackson.” Her eyes meet mine.

  My heart is thumping hard in my chest. “I don’t make deals with the devil, sweetheart.”

  She releases a maniacal laugh. “I’ll drop all this, the raise, the charges, the threats, but I want another night with you.”

  I study her for a moment, waiting for her to say she’s joking, but the words don’t come. My eyes go wide. “Wait, you’re serious?”

  “I’ve had a thing for you for the past five years. You’ve always been so fucking wrapped up in Kiera and your one-night stands that I’ve always been invisible to you. For once, I felt like maybe I had a real chance and that maybe you thought I was pretty. I hoped what we shared that night meant the same to you as it meant to me. But when we woke up in the morning, and you looked at me like I was another mistake, it fucking hurt, Jackson. I wanted to hurt you the same way you hurt me. You're a jokester, and you’re fun, and any woman would die to be with you, but you’re only worried about yourself and your dick. You never think about how your actions affect anyone else, and that’s not fair. So yeah, maybe I took it to the extreme, but do you really blame me?”

  There have been women over the years who have stalked me and refused to let me go. But I’ve never heard truths so raw.

  “Nicole, I didn’t mean to hurt you, and I didn’t know any of that, okay. I’m really fucking broken, and I don’t do relationships. I know it’s cliché as hell, but it’s not you, it’s me. You’re a pretty girl. You deserve someone who can commit to you, and I’m not that man,” I admit, trying to find common ground.

  “It’s because of Kiera, isn’t it? Because you’re not over her.”

  I roll my eyes, tired of hearing her name all day.

  “She doesn’t want you, Jackson. And the rumor is Trent doesn’t want her speaking to you either. I heard that once their married, you won’t even be able to be friends anymore. You’re going to have to move on.”

  Out of everything she’s said, those words almost break me. I’ve easily avoided any rumors that swarmed around town about Kiera and Trent. But I’ve heard the whispers at the feed store. I’m not a damn idiot. “I’ve gotta go.”

  “This isn’t over,” she says as I walk away.

  “Yes, it is,” I harshly bark over my shoulder as I head toward my truck. I really need to go for a drive and get the hell out of here. I need to clear my goddamn mind. Even Kiera’s and my friendship is slipping through my fingers, and if that happens, it will fucking destroy me.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Kiera

  Is it really possible the man I’m about to marry is capable of this?

  Was it to get even with Jackson for pressing assault charges against him?

  Could I see Trent doing something like that? No. Yes? Maybe?

  The fact there’s any doubt in my mind at all tells me all I need to know.

  I need to get out of here.

  Rushing to the bedroom, I pull out a duffle bag from the closet and start stuffing clothes and to
iletries inside. I need to get to the bottom of this, and I can’t do that here. If Trent lied to me before, there’s no reason he wouldn’t again. I kept thinking wedding stress was the cause of our relationship being rocky the past few months, but what if this is Trent’s true colors? I honestly don’t know if I can do this anymore. I’m not sure I know the man I’m going to marry.

  I’m so busy running from the closet and dresser to the bathroom that I don’t even hear Trent come back into the house. One second, I’m holding my hairdryer, and the next, Trent is standing in the bedroom doorway, startling me enough to drop it. It lands with a clunk, and Trent’s brows pinch together as he studies me.

  “What are you doing?” He takes a step toward me, and I hold my hand out to stop him. “Kiera, what the hell is happening?” His eyes scan to the open bag. “Are you leaving?”

  “Trent…” I try to steady my breathing, but I feel like I’m suffocating. “I-I can’t marry you.”

  “What?” His voice raises. “We were just talking about starting a family not ten minutes ago. What happened?”

  My chest rises and falls rapidly, nerves hitting me hard in the gut. “What are you even doing back here?”

  “I forgot my wallet,” he answers immediately as if he had his reason ready to go.

  “It’s in your jeans you left in the bathroom,” I tell him, my body shaking. “The jeans that smell like gas and smoke.”

  “I don’t understand. Why are you packing your stuff, Kiera? Talk to me, please.” He comes closer, not giving me the space I need.

  “I don’t trust you, Trent. You’ve put this doubt in my mind, and without trust, our relationship will never work.”

  He squares his shoulders and crosses his arms over his broad chest. “Is this about Jackson?” he asks, and it feels like a knife to my stomach. “You’re spinning things around in your mind and making them bigger than they are because you have feelings for him, don’t you? That’s what this is really about.” His lips go into a firm line as if he’s scolding me like a child.