Keeping Him

by Kennedy Fox

  “What? No!” I’m annoyed he’s even bringing Jackson into this conversation when it has nothing to do with him. “It’s about the bank statements, the fact that you have a child you neglected to tell me about, losing your temper with Jackson and punching me instead, the way you talk about the Bishops even though you know they’re like my second family, and finally…your clothes.”

  He searches my face and crinkles his nose. “What about them?”

  “On the same day the Bishops’ barn burns down, you come home smelling like smoke,” I explain bravely. My palms are sweaty, and my knees start to buckle. Trent and I have had arguments in the past, but nothing to this extreme or serious. Seeing him lose control around Jackson proved there was a side to him I hadn’t known before.

  “What are you saying, Kiera? Are you insinuating I did it?” His tone is harsh and edgy. “Do you think I’m a monster or something? That I’d risk the lives of others just to get back at your stupid boy toy?” He rambles off the questions in a deep, aggravated growl. “Because if that’s what you’re saying, then I know you’re fucking Jackson.”

  “Trent!” I gasp, pissed at his accusation. “Enough about Jackson!” I nearly scream. “Your actions have me second-guessing us. I’m saying it’s put doubt in my mind enough to tell me that you and I shouldn’t be getting married.”

  “Kiera, listen…” He reaches for my hand, but I pull it away. “I already apologized to you about lying about Maggie and the bank statements. I know I fucked up in that regard and explained how I was scared. I’ve lived up to that mistake. The wedding planning has put on a little more stress than normal, and I’m the first to admit I haven’t been taking it well, including how I’ve been acting about the Bishops, but you can’t blame me for being skeptical of Jackson, considering his reputation.”

  “And what about my reputation? Do you even consider that I’d never cheat on you?” I ask, remembering the way I felt for cheating on Tanner when I was only sixteen years old. It was just a kiss, but guilt consumed me for months about it. Aside from the fact that Jackson and Tanner were best friends, I never spoke a word of it to anyone. Instead of waiting for Trent’s answer, I keep going. “Tell me why your clothes reek of gas and smoke,” I bluntly demand.

  He inhales and exhales deeply, brushing a hand through his hair as if he’s already frustrated with me. “Before I left the Millers, they were getting ready to burn some brush and branches that broke off from the last bad storm we got. Mr. Miller is well into his seventies, and I didn’t want him to accidentally set himself on fire, so I offered to help and stayed a while to make sure it didn’t get out of control.”

  Doubt settles in my gut, but I know his story is plausible. Lots of people burn stuff on their ranches around here, so I know it’s not uncommon. But how likely is it the same morning of the Bishop fire that Trent was helping the Millers burn brush?

  “And you spilled gas on your boots?” I ask, raising my brows.

  “Yeah, I did. The Millers have this old ass gas can that sprays out like a shower hose instead of in one smooth stream. I wiped them off with a rag right away, but as you noticed, the smell sticks and lingers. I was wearing my work gloves so you’ll probably smell it on those too.” Trent’s shoulders relax, and I can see he’s being genuine. His voice softens, and a part of me feels guilty for thinking he was capable of being involved.

  Could I be using my unresolved feelings for Jackson as a reason to spin things in my mind to be bigger than they are? I know having feelings at all for another man isn’t right, but it’s the kind of feelings that never go away because they’re unconditional in a sense. Jackson’s been a part of my life longer than anyone, and it’d be impossible to just forget about them overnight. But is it possible they’re why I’ve felt doubt in the first place?

  Fuck, I’m so confused.

  When I don’t respond, he continues as if he can’t stand the silence between us. “Do you need me to call her and put her on speakerphone to prove it?” He digs into his pocket for his cell and starts scrolling through his contacts. “She’s really a sweet, old woman. Calls me her honey pie because she says I’m sweet like honey.”

  “No,” I stop him, and he immediately locks his phone. The fact that he was willing to do it and prove his story makes me feel bad that he even had to offer. We’re supposed to have an open and trusting relationship, and though there’ve been secrets, I don’t believe he kept them to be malicious. I know he’s not perfect, but I have so many mixed feelings that I can’t sort out with him right in front of me. “Why didn’t you tell me you stayed to do that?”

  He shrugs. “I don’t know. I didn’t realize it was something I needed to mention, honestly. I didn’t even know about the Bishop fire until I spoke with you on the phone and didn’t think about how my clothes smelled. I came home and took a shower right away because I helped with the delivery and had blood on my skin and under my nails.”

  I chew on my lip, wondering if it’s possible. Trent’s a Southern gentleman, and it’s not unlike him to help people with random chores and jobs.

  “Kiera, please…” he pleads, his dark eyes begging for me to believe him. “I’ll do whatever it takes for you to trust me again. I know I need to earn it back, and if you want, I’ll go to counseling, or we can do couples therapy. Whatever you need, babe. I can’t lose you.”

  Guilt settles in because I hate fighting with him especially with how soon the wedding date is approaching. I love Trent, but lately, I seem to have to be remind myself of that more and more.

  When I’m unable to respond, he kneels in front of me and takes my hand in his palms. “Baby, please. You have to believe me. I’d never do anything to purposely screw this up with you.” I swallow hard as I look at him, seeing the sincerity written all over his face. “I’d do anything to prove to you that you’re my entire world. I want to marry you, have a dozen babies, a horse ranch, and anything else your heart desires. Let me give those to you.” He brings my hand up to his mouth and presses a soft kiss to my knuckles. “I love you, Kiera. I will never keep anything from you again. I swear on my granddaddy’s grave.”

  His words bring comfort, and I want more than anything to believe them. I want to have babies and horses and everything this man in front of me is offering. I really hope all the stress and tension will disappear after the wedding, and we can finally move on and start the life I’ve dreamt about since meeting him. If Trent’s willing to put in the work, I have to be as well.

  Trent surprised me with a weekend getaway for just the two of us. We need to get back to our happy place and really spend some quality time together to reconnect. It’s been tense between us since our blowup, but I promised to try to move our relationship forward again.

  “I’m really glad we’re doing this,” Trent says, holding my hand and lifting it to his lips. He kisses my knuckles and keeps our fingers interlocked.

  “Me too,” I reply honestly, smiling at him. “It’ll be nice to have a couple of days off at the same time for once.”

  “I agree, babe. I know our schedules have been extra crazy lately, but I’ve already booked and planned our honeymoon during Christmas since I knew we’d both be able to take some time off.”

  “You did?” I squeal, having no idea. “Where are we going?” I nearly bounce in my seat.

  He kisses my knuckles again. “It’s a surprise, but I promise you’re going to love it! Ten days in paradise, just you and me, darlin’.”

  Oh my God. I’m shocked. “I’m so excited!” A vacation like that is just what we both need, and even though it’s over the holidays, I can see why he booked it for then. We’re able to take more days off without our clients getting upset.

  “It’s only a few months away, but I promise it’ll be worth it.” He winks at me, sending butterflies to my stomach, and it’s just the sign I needed.

  Three amazing days pass by in a blink, and we’re already driving back home. A weekend at the lake cabin was just what we needed to replenish
our relationship. We were able to focus on each other and get back on track as a couple. A part of me will always have lingering reservations of how he kept a major secret from me, but I know with time and effort, he’ll gain my full trust back. I’m not naïve enough to think it’ll happen overnight, but I’m optimistic.

  “Are you excited, darlin’?” Trent asks as I brush my teeth.

  I smile as I think about what today is. I’ve dreamt about my bridal shower since I was a little girl. Emily and Jessica planned everything, and between them, I know they’re going to make it extra special for me.

  I look at Trent’s reflection in the mirror as he leans against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest. He’s sexy as hell in a blue button-up shirt and black slacks, and it’s hard not to notice how delicious he looks when he dresses up.

  “Yeah, I am,” I say after rinsing out my mouth. “I’m excited to see everyone and eat carbs.”

  Trent laughs, taking a step toward me and caging me against the bathroom counter as I turn to face him. “You deserve to be showered, babe. I want the whole afternoon to be about my beautiful bride.” He leans down and presses a sweet kiss on my lips. “I’ll be there later to help clean up so your mama and the bridesmaids don’t have to do it all themselves.”

  “You’re so thoughtful,” I say, smiling as I gaze into his eyes. “I’m sure they’ll all be tipsy from the champagne by then too.”

  Trent chuckles and gives me another quick kiss. “I have to meet my dad and brother for lunch first, and then I’ll meet you there.”

  “Sounds good.” I place my hands on his cheeks and pull him in for a deep, sensual kiss. “Two weeks until I’m Mrs. Trent Laken. Can you believe it?”

  “Not soon enough.” He wraps a hand around my waist, then slides it down to my ass and squeezes. “See you soon. Love you.”

  “Love you, too,” I call out as he heads out.

  Once I’m finished getting ready, Emily picks me up and drives me to the old bank building in town we now use for events and parties. She’s in a great mood, which puts me in an even better mood.

  “You look amazing!” She beams. “You’re seriously glowing.”

  “Thank you! I feel amazing,” I admit.

  “Are you pregnant?” she blurts out.

  I turn and look at her, squinting my eyes. “Uh, no.”

  “Okay, just checking. I plan to serve you lots of booze.”

  I laugh, grateful for my best friend always looking out for me.

  “It’s gonna be a blast, I promise.”

  “I have no doubt!”

  All the bridesmaids pitched in to help decorate, but I know Emily and Jessica took the reins in making sure it was pure perfection. Since Trent and I both work with horses, they made sure to weave that into the bridal theme with little plastic horse toys on the tables and cake. It was super cute.

  “Kiera…” I hear my name and spin around to Mama Bishop holding her arms out for me. “You look breathtaking.”

  I let her embrace me in a tight hug and wrap my arms around her. “Thank you, Mama B. I’m so glad you could come today.”

  “Of course, sweetheart. I wouldn’t miss it for anything.” She pulls back and looks me up and down. “You’re going to make a stunning bride. I sure hope that man of yours knows how lucky he is.” She gives me a look and then winks.

  “He does,” I tell her.

  After eating and playing some games, Jessica makes me sit at the front to open the gifts. Most of it is household items with some sexy lingerie and toys weaved in. We all get a good laugh out of it when my mother holds one up and asks if it’s a back massager.

  Trent shows up shortly after, and it puts a wide, goofy smile on my face to see him even though I just did this morning. My bridesmaids comment on how great he looks and have no problem giving him orders on cleaning and loading the gifts up in his truck.

  I look around and think how special this day has been and how lucky I feel to have so many friends and loved ones here to help us celebrate. We kept it girls only, so none of the Bishop men are here, but it doesn’t go unnoticed how I miss Jackson and wish he could’ve been here too. I just wish I had his blessing. Even though he’s in the wedding party, I know what he thinks about me marrying Trent, but I also know it’s not because he wants me for himself. It’s because he doesn’t think any guy is good enough, especially not Trent. Then again, I could be engaged to the Prince of England, and Jackson would still think he’s wrong for me.

  “So don’t forget, next weekend is your bachelorette party! We have all the reservations set in place, and oh my God, it’s gonna be so much fun!” Jessica squeals while telling me the details. I basically gave her and Emily permission to do whatever as long as it wasn’t illegal.

  Part of me still wonders if it was a bad decision or not.

  “I better prepare,” I tease, hugging Emily goodbye since Trent is here to pick me up.

  “You better bring my bride home in one piece next weekend,” Trent warns with a teasing grin.

  “Oh don’t worry.” Jessica waves him off. “Nothing unusual. Strippers, gin, and fireworks.”

  Trent arches a brow, not impressed. His arm is wrapped around my waist, and he squeezes my hip when Jessica speaks.

  “She’s kidding,” I tell him, all of us laughing.

  Once everything is cleaned and loaded up, Trent and I say our last goodbyes and head home.

  “Damn, I think we have a whole store in here now.” Trent and I look around at all the bags and boxes on our kitchen table and counter. There’s so much.

  “Pretty much.” I chuckle. “I’ll be writing thank-you notes for weeks.” I sigh, hoping I can fit it into my busy schedule before the wedding.

  “Don’t worry about that right now,” Trent says. He leans down and lifts me, hauling me over his shoulder and smacking my ass with a loud crack. “Tonight we play naked Twister in bed.”

  I laugh, kicking my legs so he’ll let me down, but he’s way too damn strong and keeps me pinned against his body as he walks to the bedroom. Once we’re inside, he kicks the door shut and gently places me on the bed.

  Trent immediately starts showering me with kisses, and I lock my legs around his waist, pulling him down against me.

  “I’m going to give you everything you ever dreamed of, Kiera. Promise.”

  His words nearly have me choking up with emotion. He’s been working really hard to repair our relationship, and it hasn’t gone unnoticed. It’s starting to feel like the early days when we just started dating, and those memories make me emotional and happy all over again.

  “I can’t wait.”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Jackson

  PRESENT DAY

  Mama is going to kill me for ducking out last minute.

  Hell, they’re all going to. Maybe even take turns reaming me a new asshole. Either way, I know I’d deserve it, and it’s a pain I’ll accept to avoid watching the woman I’m in love with marrying another man. The wrong fucking man.

  Once I’m in my truck and flying down the gravel driveway, I know there’s only one place I want to go to right now. Kiera and I went to our secret place more times than I can count during our teen years, and it was special because no one else knew about it. At least I know I can hide out there and none of my brothers will be able to find me.

  Until I’m ready to be found, at least.

  I park my truck and grab my flask before I step out. Leaving my keys and phone inside, I walk to our spot that still has our makeshift firepit with moldy hay bales surrounding it. I should throw them in the fire and bring new ones out here, but I know I’m the only one who still visits. Kiera stopped joining me years ago.

  This spot was where I always imagined I’d finally tell Kiera how I truly felt. Every time I talked myself into doing it, figuring she’d either laugh at me or tell me I wasn’t good enough for her, I chickened out last minute. Then as soon as Tanner was in the picture, I knew my time had come and gone.

>   And now it was really over.

  Things would never be the same. They haven’t been since Trent barged his way into her life, and even if I was naïve to think it wouldn’t amount to anything, I only have myself to blame for my heartache. Now they’re married, and soon they’ll have babies, and she’ll have everything she’s ever wanted.

  Too bad I couldn’t have given that to her.

  I take a swig from my flask, grateful it’s still half full and I can drink away the pain. Hopefully, I can numb everything inside me so I can’t feel the way my heart is shattering. I left shortly before I was supposed to walk down with Mila, which means Kiera is already at the altar, probably saying her vows and promising to be with Dr. Douchebag forever.

  I take an extra-long swig, begging the alcohol to quickly take me under.

  Remembering I have a blanket in my backseat, I walk back toward my truck and grab it so I can cover the bale of hay. Just as I sit down, I hear a truck roaring up.

  “What the hell?” I mutter, then roll my eyes when I see it’s Evan’s truck. Fuck. How the hell did he know where I was? I already know what bullshit he’s going to say, so I take another long swig and mentally prepare for his ass chewing.

  The truck pulls up next to mine, and as soon as the door flies open, I brace myself for what’s to come.

  “You arrogant, self-centered asshole!”

  I stand as soon as I hear Kiera’s voice. She’s walking toward me with tears in her eyes, holding the front of her dress up as she stomps her boots against the grass.

  “What the fuck?” The words are mostly to myself, but I’m so shocked I can’t say anything else. I’m almost speechless. I blink to make sure she’s really standing in front of me and take a deep breath. “What’re you doing here, Kiera? Aren’t you supposed to be getting married right about now?”

  She closes the gap between us and pushes her hands against my chest as hard as she can. I barely stumble back, which only seems to piss her off more. “What the hell were you thinkin’?” she yells, pushing and swatting at me, and after a moment of letting her take her anger out on me, I grab her wrists and hold her in place.