Under My Skin

by Shawntelle Madison

  “So?”

  “They covered my eyes and handcuffed me while I was there.”

  “You’re a smart girl. You had to have seen some details and heard a thing or two.”

  It took everything I had not to tell him to go to hell, to burn in the fire of his evil. Thank God Felicity and her men had protected not only themselves but me as well.

  “We drove west for about ten minutes. Then the driver covered my eyes.” While the General browsed the sugar cookies on the tray next to the tea service, I quickly recounted to him every detail I could think of: the woods, the transport ship, the flight time, even the underground feel of the headquarters.

  Once the General suspected I’d been to the headquarters, he sunk into me for more information: the number of men I saw, the weapons, the tech I’d seen.

  “Don’t think I won’t know if you lie,” he warned.

  During the whole time, my parents were silent while Rebecca told them about how they’d leave here as a happier family, how they could afford better things for their son since they had the stipend.

  A cup of tea in hand, he directed me to stroll away from the tea service toward the bay windows. The double windows revealed the snowy landscape outside, just another place to continue the interrogation.

  Rebecca continued. “Your daughter has given you two a new life. Maybe you should have another child. You have a monthly income now thanks to the Water Bearer program. While she continues her work for this household, you can live a longer and healthier life.”

  My heart sank to hear those words. All the while, I spilled more information. Even more painful—a semblance of my control sunk in. A single tear cascaded down my face. The General quickly wiped it away.

  But my mother, ever observant, whispered something and interrupted Rebecca. “Do you need help, sweetheart?” Now she cried as well. “Just say one word and we’ll do everything to protect you.”

  “I have everything I need to know,” he told me. “You’ve done well.”

  After placing the cup of tea on the table, the General used his parting words to pierce the knife deeper into their hearts. “There’s no need for us to discuss this any longer. It’s all sentimental nonsense. I don’t need either of you anymore. Weaklings like you are beneath me.”

  At the doorway, he turned to Rebecca. “Prepare the transport ship to leave now. I have business to conduct in the north.”

  As we walked down the hallway, he had parting words for me as well. “Too bad your parents left your brother behind today. Such a nice boy would make a fine successor after I use you, would he not?”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  To me, war used to be merely words in books. I read about fighting and death, but I had no context. Living with General Dagon in my head had taught me that war wasn’t powerful words used to convey conflict, but it was something else far more frightening, far more deadly. I was an unwilling passenger with the General to the battlefield. I had to watch as he was shot in the shoulder and as he killed so many people without remorse. If I closed my eyes, I could imagine seeing his fleeing targets. I could taste their terror as their lives ended.

  His troops stormed the Resistance base and the Guild’s enemies fell with ease.

  And I had no control to stop any of it.

  Rebecca planned a victory dinner for the General when he returned, but he was resting from his slaughter. The estate welcomed me with everyone lined up outside. The staff stood without smiles as I ambled out of the vehicle toward them.

  “Welcome, home, Master Dagon,” Rebecca said. “We’re pleased to learn of your victory.”

  I simply nodded. The General wouldn’t say much. He either boasted or walked past them with indifference. I chose the later.

  Time to check the pink disk. A short trip to the study revealed a new message from Zoe: Been taking the meds. Keep fighting, Z.

  I touched the disk and re-read the message again and again. Somehow, I was still alive. I had a purpose and that was to help Zoe and take out the General in the process, not an easy task.

  After a short nap, Des and Penelope arrived in the master suite to take care of me. They stripped me of my travel clothes and helped me bathe. At first, I cringed at the idea, but Des recognized me immediately.

  “Welcome home, Tate.” She winked after she whispered it. For good measure, she said to Penelope, “Move faster now. The Master doesn’t like cold water.”

  As Des tended to my wounds after bathing, I kept my gaze focused on something other than my body. Since I’d seen Alphonse’s body and the changes in my own, I preferred to stay oblivious to the growing dark blue marks. They wrapped around my ribs like a corset, waiting to squeeze my life force away from me. I didn’t know what the Guild had done to me, but I suspected, from what Des had told me, I’d eventually end up like the General’s previous body, one that had been used too long, shriveled and sucked of life, until the Guild member searched for another. That was their price for immortality.

  “Your back’s healing well,” she whispered. She made no mention of the growing problem everywhere else. “I fix you up, and you go off and get shot.”

  “The General got shot. I had plans to run in the opposite direction,” I corrected her.

  Des and Penelope helped dress me for the victory party. A beautiful light-blue gown made of chiffon. The bodice glittered with crystal beads. Even the expensive high heels added the perfect touch. Des took the time to do my hair in the way I liked it. Everyone smiled when they put on my make-up. I enjoyed their time to make me feel special, since they weren’t sure how long I’d stay awake.

  The dinner party came and went. The most I recalled was everyone surrounding me, but I couldn’t have felt more alone. Quinn was still gone, his whereabouts unknown. Every time my heart ached, a part of me left the room, seeking him out so that he could wrap his arms around me, kiss me, and make me imagine all this was nothing more than a nightmare and I’d wake up soon.

  But he never showed up and my life had to go on. To distract myself, I began the process of helping Zoe. I had to use the General’s resources, whatever resources he had available, which had to be more than what the Resistance could do.

  But the odds of helping my cousin weren’t in my favor. General Dagon flat out told me he didn’t trust me anymore. When I was awake and in control, I couldn’t do anything, which meant no more trips to the comm-console. I didn’t have access to the network anymore. I even had to wear a tracking device around my leg.

  But there was one flaw in his plan to keep me under wraps: when he relinquished control, sometimes I was the one who took it from him. I’d learned well. The antivirus was working. When he pushed, I shoved back. I still had blackout periods, but when he gave me an inch, I took it and attempted to wrestle a mile’s worth of control from him.

  Like this morning, when he took his breakfast with Rebecca in the dining room.

  The minute I shoved him away, my hand dropped the spoon. I glanced toward it. None of the staff moved. I froze for a moment and tried not to smile at my minor victory. I had a part to play. A part that rained guilt on me every time I had to do it.

  “Does someone plan to do their job and pick up that spoon? Now?” I demanded.

  Rebecca moved quickly, picked up the spoon, wiped it, and backed away.

  “I can’t stand to be around any of you. Absolutely useless.” I chortled. “Can’t even take care of me without having to be ordered to do so.” I hoped none of them noticed the mental hiccup when I paused after gaining control. “I’ll be in my study.”

  The tracker on my ankle beeped as I stood and left the room. Since they’d put it on me, I had to wear simple clothes like dresses and jumpsuits. As far as security was concerned, the General took no chances. Cecelia followed me as expected.

  Let her follow me now. I didn’t care what she saw.

  I entered the office, but I didn’t sit down at the chair. It was useless to try to use the comm-console. He’d closed off access after my pa
rents left.

  Fear pulsed through me, steady and never-ending, but I managed to push it away. If I worried about my family too much, I wouldn’t be able to do this anymore.

  I checked a few papers on my desk. After I read some documents for a while, Cecelia eventually settled into one of the seats in the corner to play on her wrist-comm. As I watched her play, I rather wished she had network access on the darn thing.

  Time to make my move. I walked over to the display case where I kept the Tactics of Combat. The book was still inside in the box where I’d left it. The General knew I’d accessed his computer, but did he know I had discovered his secret code book?

  With my back turned to Cecelia, I opened the cases and checked the box. The book was gone, but the box remained. I felt along the edge where the velvet had torn to leave a small gap. Tucked in the gap, I found the disk. Good.

  The disk vibrated after I touched it. As expected, I had a new message: Plan working. Need to escape soon. Tyson needs help. Victory Ball in New Amesbury. Three Days. Z

  If this ball were an event sponsored by the Prime Minister, then the General was sure to have this on his agenda. I trusted that this disk was my way to connect with Zoe. It was now my only line of communication. But what if it had been compromised and this was a trick from Justina to lure me to New Amesbury or even a trick between the Justina and the General?

  The General had taught me well. Deceit and conflict are one and the same.

  My head ached at the possibilities. I was so close to making progress on my own front. But Zoe wanted my help. She was ready to escape. Maybe she’d pushed back Justina as well. All I had to do was make my move with what little breathing room the General gave me.

  The Victory Ball was a celebration for the Myrian victory over the invaders. For what little time the General did spend watching the communications console, I got a chance to watch the news reports of our great victory. The news portrayed the invaders as filthy men and women who tried to attack the food supply factories of the gallant people along the northern coastline.

  More lies from the Myrian government.

  As we rode on the transport ship to New Amesbury three days later, I tried not to find the reports laughable. For once, I wished he acted like other men and switched the console to the Gladiator Ball feed. The brutal scenes from those bloody fights would’ve at least been real.

  The General and I rarely spoke to each other anymore. Maybe we’d reached the point where we didn’t waste energy on conversation. It was all about who could take control. Who had the mental capacity and strength to remain conscious and on deck.

  It was exhausting. The whole process felt like I was trying to keep myself awake for days at a time. During the majority of the time, I’d feel myself sliding toward the warmth of rest and sleep, but then I’d have to shake myself awake.

  No matter how tired I was, I wanted to fight. I wanted to live.

  With the antivirus running through my system now, I had a chance. As to how I’d get control if I were so mentally exhausted, I wasn’t sure. Once we arrived at the General’s apartment in the city, I thought I’d have a chance to rest. Instead of quiet time, I had to play hostess to dignitaries and businessmen vying for the General’s attention. Men and women, dressed in expensive clothes, brought him gifts and tried to rub elbows with the General who’d won the battle. A few times, I glanced over my shoulder expecting to see the Master of Blades, but Quinn was gone now.

  “General Dagon, I’ve waited so long to meet you,” one of the businessmen said as he shook my hands with a sweaty palm. The man’s cologne was enticing, but touching him made me want to wash the filth of his sycophancy off my hands.

  Even without the brief handshakes with everyone, I could see the obvious. They didn’t come to praise him for his victories. They wanted to be a Guild member like him. As to what system they’d use to become one, I didn’t know yet.

  One man said, “We hope when the Guild convenes later this year, you’ll recommend my family.” He didn’t give any other details.

  What I did know for certain was the people who visited me weren’t members of the Guild. I could tell from every hand I touched. Once in a while, I’d get a quick read. Every time I read someone, it made me think of the Testing Center.

  What had Justina called me? A blank canvas waiting to be filled with paint. Well, the men and women I touched today resembled cluttered rooms. Small closets filled with junk. A place unwelcome to a Guild member’s mind. No wonder the Guild never used adults.

  Rebecca entered the room and whispered in the General’s ear. “Master, it’s time for you to prepare for the ball tonight.”

  The guests bid the General good evening, and I was whisked away to the master suite to prepare. The General preferred a formal uniform tonight, no dresses, and no make-up. Clad in a stiff suit with a severe bun to pull my hair back tightly, I left the apartment into the spring night in New Amesbury.

  The entire time, I waited patiently for my opening. I rested as much as I could. Sooner or later, he’d weaken and then I’d swoop in to take back what belonged to me. Staying alert twenty-four/seven was mental gymnastics neither of us could keep up. The weaker willed between us usually gave in. To help Zoe, I would have to give everything I had.

  The General had the reins tonight. As he led us into the ballroom, I couldn’t help but think about how I wasn’t alone when I’d come here before, how I had someone like Quinn to keep me company. I browsed through the crowd, receiving congratulations from other military personnel. Women smiled at me while men nodded.

  “What a fine job you’ve done, Frederick,” one said.

  “Good to see that garbage pushed back,” another said.

  All those false faces feeding me smiles disgusted me. If they had to step on the Resistance to maintain their way of life, they would’ve.

  I glanced around while the General spoke to others, searching for Zoe.

  Eventually, everyone parted as the Prime Minister took his place at the podium at the front of the room. Adam Falcon focused on the crowd with that golden face of his, but something was different tonight. I’d stared at him more times than I wanted to admit to myself. But it was my foolish crush that revealed an important detail. He had a few gray hairs above his ear and a strange twitching in his jaw.

  Something was up.

  “Good evening, everyone,” Adam said. “This is a great day for the Myrian people.” He still had that glowing smile for everyone who viewed him over the network. “With the victory of our people, we’ve insured our food supply from the north will continue. The invaders won’t prevail. They’ll never win while I protect you from their greed.”

  His speech continued. He talked about all the things he’d done, the fighting his men had accomplished. It was he who had set off the explosives in the invader camp, and he who’d faced the Resistance and drove them away. I tried to imagine how I’d feel, sitting next to Danny watching the comm-console, oblivious to what was really happening. It’d be nice to go back to that time of innocent ignorance and not know the horrifying truth.

  When the broadcast ended, the bright lights from the network cameras dimmed and the Prime Minister took the time to greet the crowd. The General took it all with a stoic grace, his words for the Prime Minister meant to show he worked only for the betterment of Myria. But as the General made the rounds again, I smelled something else under the surface. He made me keep glancing at the Prime Minister. Like the predator he was, he watched, with keen interest, the way Adam’s weakened body spoke with other Guild members. Did the General have his eye on the Prime Minister’s position?

  It took me a few more rounds before I spotted Zoe. She sat in the back of the ballroom. Our eyes met once, but Zoe frowned at me and glanced away.

  “Your attention, please.” Everyone turned to see the Prime Minister standing at the podium again. But the lights on the cameras remained dim.

  The Prime Minister scanned the crowd for a moment. His sharp eyes lingered
on our faces.

  “Now that the ears and eyes of the Myrian people are closed, I can speak to you about matters of upmost importance, in particular, maintaining our way of life.

  “The Resistance has become far too bold in their attacks on our factories and research facilities outside of Myrian territory. Rest assured, I’ve begun plans to ensure our enemies aren’t successful and that they die out from within their own ranks.”

  Others around me nodded with smiles.

  Adam continued. “I have more good news as well.” He pointed to two people, a man and woman, standing not far away from him. They appeared old enough to be his parents.

  “I’d like for all of you to formally meet the staff who has diligently worked under my direction to advance our way of life.” He pointed to them. “Through their diligent work, we’ve been able to see evidence of acceptance in children as young as thirteen and we’ve expanded the receptivity of adults as well. With a few more months of research, we should be able to begin formal trials.”

  No way.

  If the General hadn’t been in control, I would’ve dropped the glass.

  Danny. My parents. If what the Prime Minister said were true, my entire family wasn’t safe anymore. Not if those researchers continued with their work. But what could I do? I was one person, just like all the other people who’d been used by the Guild.

  Adam’s words weighed heavily in my mind, but the General pushed my attention elsewhere.

  His gaze remained focused on the Prime Minister who continued to speak. “It’s through our active efforts in medical research that we’ll be able to remain robust for not only centuries, but for millennia to come.”

  The crowd erupted into thunderous applause. The General merely snorted and then kept strolling through the crowd.

  Since I knew where Zoe was sitting, it was time to put my plan into action. My window of opportunity wouldn’t last long. Out of everything I’d practiced, snatching back control was the hardest. When the General took me the first time, it was in bits and pieces. So the first thing I took was his fingers. I focused on them, like searching for the minute lines along a monarch butterfly’s wings. I grasped. I painfully reached—until I felt the digits flex under my command.