Do you think
You're doin to me
Playin tricks
On my mind
You should know
Well enough by now
That any real love
Is hard to find
But you insist on
Inflicting pain
And then
Pretending you're healing
The wounds
What is there
For you to gain
If it's there
I hope you get it soon
Cuz everything is
Building up inside of me
I've had it hurting so long
I can't hide how I feel
What you're makin of me
Don't you see
That it's wrong
You play games
With everybody you can
Do you always
Get their name
Or do you care
Is that even part of your plan
I'm sick of it all
I'm so sick of you
You might think it's funny
I don't, and we're through
You think I want you
You think I won't do
Any of this
Don't say you love me or need me
Just don't
Lookin back
There won't be
Anything I miss
You've given me
Years of
You breakin my heart
What have you ever done
Not to hurt me
When have you
Not left me fallin apart
Forget what you
Say you forgive me for
Forget forever with me
Forgive you I won't
You wanna make an appeal
I don't want you anymore
" I don't wanna be with you" (whisper)
You're just gonna have
To learn to deal
I know I will
You play games
With everybody you can
Do you always
Get their name
Or do you care
Is that even part of your plan
I'm sick of it all
I'm so sick of you
You might think it's funny
I don't, and we're through
When wasn't I
Always there to
Give you all I had
You've left me lonely
Wanting you only
And then acted like
You had the right to be sad
The tears I've seen in your eyes
To me are the same
As all your lies
And I can't belive 'em anymore
I don't have
Any will to fight
Even for us
I'm leavin
There's no trust
Good night
Alright
I'm out the door
You play games
With everybody you can
Do you always
Get their name
Or do you care
Is that even part of your plan
I'm sick of it all
I'm so sick of you
You might think it's funny
I don't, and we're through
Alright
I'm giving in
Living completely in sin
Cuz I don't know
Anymore what's real or fake
I don't have a clue
What I've done or what I do
To start anything anew
Where would I begin
What would it take
I'm goin one way
Down a narrow highway
No light to guide me
Going through it blindly
I hope I don't hit
Or hurt anyone
The pain that I feel
Is all too much to conceal
I can't walk away
Nor can I run
I'll be alright
Without sight
I'll feel around
And listen for any sounds
If I fall
I'll only break me
I'm holding on
To everything that's gone
Where will it end
Where will it take me
It's plain to see
I've made miserable memories
Filled with agony and disgust
I've tried so hard not to be
Everything that now
Composes me
But I am all I am
Nothing free
Existing without love or trust
Since the earliest
Days of my youth
I've lived as two
Never fully revealing truth
Never healing
Or totally dealing
Or having use
For myself
For my lies
For all my alibies
For all the ways I've abused
I'll be alright
Without sight
I'll feel around
And listen for any sounds
If I fall
I'll only break me
I'm holding on
To everything that's gone
Where will it end
Where will it take me
And that's why
I don't feel
I can try
To be more than I am
A wretched excuse a man
That just barely
Gets by
I'll be alright
Without sight
I'll feel around
And listen for any sounds
If I fall
I'll only break me
I'm holding on
To everything that's gone
Where will it end
Where will it take me
The easiest thing I've done
Is make myself numb
Where have I gotten here from
Where am I going
No Name
Some day,
I will make you pay
I will make you feel
What you've put me through
When you're dying
There'll be no one crying...
No one there
To deliver you
Yes, I'm hating you
And I'm waiting to
Kill you
Will you
Ever see
What you've done to me
Will you ever be
Anything but
All you are
Which is nothing
You're unimportant
You are worthless
That's why you have to
Treat everyone else
Like you have
Been treated yourself
I Don’t Wanna Be (adult language)
Every time
I get anything right
It all turns to shit
I'm losin sight
Of what I have
What I've got
What I might need
I'm not innocent
But I'm not ignorant
Of any of it
Will it
Make me bleed
It's killing me
And I'm unwilling to be
What it keeps attempting
To change me into
I've been giving in
Living in
A world I hate
I loathe
I wanna end
When I feel I've had enough
It's always too late
So I just pretend
That I don't care
/> I don't wanna be
What you
Want me to be
You try to make me
Everything
You can't make yourself
And I hate you for that
I'm tired of spendin all my time
Livin in Hell
Feelin no love
You've pushed me to the edge
Why wouldn't I
Ever fight back
Push me again
And see what I
Am capable of
What a world
We're in now
That doesn't seem to know
When you've had
It up to anywhere
And you're about to explode
But they knock you down
And walk on your wounds
And start to stare
When you get back up
On your feet
To see if you'll seek revenge
Even though they know you won't
It isn't fair to you
To me
To put up with mutiny
To have to live in scrutiny
Of anything we choose to be
By the time that you decide
That you've finally lost your mind
When you get the balls to try
To make them see
The error of their ways
They're all of a sudden blind
They forgot what they've done
It was all yesterday
So let it go
Let it be
Now you know
They will never see
To them, you'll always be
What you've been
Never who you've become
I don't wanna be
What you
Want me to be
You try to make me
Everything
You can't make yourself
And I hate you for that
I'm tired of spendin all my time
Livin in Hell
Feelin no love
You've pushed me to the edge
Why wouldn't I
Ever fight back
Push me again
And see what I
Am capable of
You have caused me
Constand paranoia
Unending suffering
Ever-present
Dillusions
To add
To all the nauseating
Fucking confusion
I don't wanna be
What you
Want me to be
You try to make me
Everything
You can't make yourself
And I hate you for that
I'm tired of spendin all my time
Livin in Hell
Feelin no love
You've pushed me to the edge
Why wouldn't I
Ever fight back
Push me again
And see what I
Am capable of
Betrayed
I can never forgive
What you've done to me
You built up my confidence
Only to tear down
My hopes and dreams
You say you were my friend
But you've given me misery
To no end
You took my life
With your lies
What about makin me
Your enemy
What about
Everyone and everything
You betrayed
You Never Leave Me Alone (adult language)
I don't care
If I die
I don't care
If I live
I don't care
Anymore
I don't
Got that much to give
Every time I try
I'm told it's all too late
I don't even
Give half a shit
I don't even
Wanna know why
I am sick
Of all your hate
Fuck you
For makin me
Think you ever gave a damn
I know you won't
And I won't wait
Slippin through my hands
Stabbin to the bone
You never realize what I am
And you never
Leave me alone
I’m Breakin’ Down My Heart of Stone
She cursed me for
My unloving ways
She says I ignored her
I was always there
But maybe sometimes
I didn't stay
I was so very cold
She thinks I never cared
I'm so heartless
So I'm told
I have a world
To myself
Yeah, I know
It's not fair
I'm a loner
I wanna be alone
I try to change
How I feel
Without two
To give all they got
No house can be a home
And she just don't see
I'm breakin down
My heart of stone
It takes
A lot of work
To start all anew
Habits are hard to break
Changin is hard to do
Facin the lies
Denyin old alibies
Givin up the ways you know
It's a terrible challenge
But maybe just the way to go
Fuck, I Wanna Die (adult language)
God, I hate my life
Fuck, I wanna die
But I can't kill myself
I got a fuckin wife
I made vows
That I plan to keep
But I wish that I
Wouldn't wake up
From my sleep
I'm just stayin alive
I don't really know why
I can't take this shit
It never fuckin ends
The same ol' day to day
Why do I have
To live this way
I think I'm made to pay
For everyone else's mistakes
Place the blame on them
Or at least
Let me pay with my life
Fuck, I wanna die
Trust
I believe
That I can do more
Although
I can't quite figure out
What I've been doin
All of it for
But I really think
I can be
Whatever you need
Whatever you want
Whatever you see
Me havin the possibility
To be
I can do that for you
I can do that for us
I want to begin
To rebuild our trust
You Were Never Meant to Be in This Place
When we got together
You knew it wouldn't last
You couldn't fight
Your feelings
For someone else
You didn't want
Anyone's help
Especially mine
You never would let me
Help you in the past
You've come to find
That there's more out there
Than just the life
You live right here
Hey, I'm here
What was there
To really fear
Or for you to really feel
But
You were never meant
To be in this place
Regret is pain
Bent on changing everything
Including me and you
Advice wa
s always
Somethin you'd act like
You were listenin to
And shrug it off
What do they ever know
There could be so much more
For you if you go
Time plays tricks
On your mind
The more that goes by
The more you need
It to all go away
Don't be afraid
You played the game
Long enough to know
You can't win,
So just give up
Everyone loves a quitter
Here is the prize
To rediscover life
With bloodshot eyes
And leave behind
Someone who loves you
But you despise
Thanks for all
The memories and guilt
And the horrific
Home you built
But
You were never meant
To be in this place
Regret is pain
Bent on changing everything
Including me and you
Advice was always
Somethin you'd act like
You were listenin to
And shrug it off
What do they ever know
There could be so much more
For you if you go
Here in the now
You could never allow
Yourself to love someone else
To stop the lies
To ignore your selfish pride
And let me deep inside
Try hard to forget about me
Maybe someday you'll really be
What you couldn't all along
You can't change in this place
But you say
You'll change out there
I think you're wrong
But, hey,
I'm talkin out my ass
You might realize
You ran away too fast
To ever have a chance
To know happiness
But
You were never meant
To be in this place
Regret is pain
Bent on changing everything
Including me and you
Advice was always
Somethin you'd act like
You were listenin to
And shrug it off
What do they ever know
There could be so much more
For you if you go
If you go
If you go
If you go,
I might finally find some peace
Bow to Me
Some day
You will learn to see
That I feed
Off your misery
You always
Thought it was
You hurtin me
I gotta ask
How could that ever be
When I learn from everything
There's nothin you can do
To cause pain for me
I heal too fast
To ever care
Maybe that's why I'm never there
So give up now
And get on your knees
You are mine
Bow to me
Go (adult language)
You treat me like
I don't know
I don't feel shit
I'm so cold
I am worthless
I am dirt
I don't get it
I don't hurt
You have no
Sense of
What I feel
I understand it all
All too well
And...
It's too real
For me to deal
So, why don't you go
Leave me alone
Just go!
I can't take this shit
I can't handle you
It's tearin me up inside
Knowin we're through
I let you stay here
Cuz you have
Nowhere to go
That ain't my problem
It all goes to show
You never think things out
You assume it's all ok
To do what you want
And there's no price to pay
So, just go, Bitch!
Just fuckin go!
Tourniquet
You always were
My tourniquet
Keeping my heart
From bleeding out
I remember
Me needing you
What am I
To do now
Without you keeping
Me from dying
From crying
Poems From the Underground Volume 2 Page 7