Bent not Broken

by Lisa De Jong

  I don’t take my eyes off of Xavier until I hear Jess whisper, “Calm down, let’s just go.” Her hand is warm as her fingers tighten around my arm. Turning, I reach for her hand and start walking, pulling her toward the patio door that I just came in through. I see her wave and offer a tight smile to Max, who just nods his head at me as we leave. The party is silent now; everyone is watching us leave.

  “Adios, Garza,” I shout over my shoulder.

  “Asshole,” I hear him respond quietly. I can’t help but smirk. I am still holding Jess’ hand and I don’t let it go of her until we reach my truck.

  “What the fuck was that?” Jess asks as she slides into the front seat and slams my truck door shut. “I am not a toddler. I can take care of myself, plus nothing was happening in there. You embarrassed me in front of my friends,” she scowls. Her cheeks are flushed with anger, which upsets me.

  “They are not your friends?” I question and point towards the apartment.

  “Max and Adrian are.”

  “Yes, Max and Adrian are. The rest of those assholes aren’t,” I say with a raised voice.

  I’m feeling a bit of remorse for the way I pulled her out of the party, but that remorse fades as I remember why I came to get her.

  “Listen to me for a minute. Xavier is an asshole. He’s hurt girls before—intentionally. He gets them drunk and takes advantage of them.” I pause as heat rolls through me. I think about what could have happened to her tonight. “It’s happened more than once, and I know this because I know someone it’s happened to. I know you’re friends with Adrian, but his brother is a dick.”

  Her head drops slightly forward, her hair falling over her shoulder. She looks so innocent, so pure. Watching her fidget with her hands, I make a vow to myself that no one will hurt her. Ever.

  “Why didn’t you just tell me that this morning?” she asks quietly, turning to look at me. “I wouldn’t have come if I knew that,” she whispers.

  “Look, what’s important is that nothing happened, and I’m sorry if I embarrassed you.”

  “Thanks for coming to get me.”

  “You’re welcome. So, can I buy you dinner? Peace offering?” She nods her head as she gives me a small smile.

  Chapter 5

  Jess

  While I am still absorbing the information Gabe just dumped on me about Xavier, I can’t help but smile a little when I think about how protective he was. My heart flutters a little in my chest when I sneak a peek at him as we’re driving to dinner.

  “Where are we going?” I ask casually, trying to lighten the somber mood in his truck.

  “Surprise,” he says, taking his eyes off the road to look at me.

  “I don’t like surprises.”

  “I know you don’t.” He chuckles.

  “Then tell me where we’re going.”

  “No.”

  “Why?” I ask and then stick my bottom lip out in a pouty motion.

  “The lip isn’t going to work, Jess. The only thing that lip is good for is me biting it.” Well, that shut me up.

  “You know…” I start, pausing for a second. “You shouldn’t joke around about that stuff. I might actually think you’re serious.” I smirk and raise my eyebrow at him.

  He pulls into the parking lot of Mancini’s Italian Restaurant, parks, and shuts off the engine. As he reaches for the door handle, he catches my left arm.

  “Who said I was joking?” he asks with intensity and fire in his eyes. He maintains eye contact with me while my blood pressure rises to unhealthy levels. I swallow, trying to wet my tongue, which has gone dry.

  “Were you joking?” I ask him quietly, maintaining eye contact. Studying his face, I want to run my fingers over the ridge of his jaw line, the straight line of his perfect nose, and his soft lips. As I wait for him to answer, he sighs, then releases my arm.

  My eyes fall to his hand, which has dropped to the center console between us. When I look back up at him, I’m caught off guard by the quick movement of his hand as I feel it rest upon my cheek. Using his thumb, he traces my bottom lip back and forth, causing my breath to hitch lightly at his gentle touch.

  “Let’s go,” he whispers, his hand falling from my face, leaving my question still unanswered.

  We’re seated in the very back corner of the restaurant in a booth where no one else is near us. Since it is evening, the restaurant has turned down the lights, and most of the light is radiating from the small candles situated on each of the tables. The atmosphere is romantic, and I can’t help but notice how handsome Gabe looks right now.

  Our server greets us immediately, and instantly sets her sights on Gabe; most women do.

  “What can I get you to drink?” she asks with a devious smile, never looking in my direction or acknowledging my presence.

  “Diet Coke,” I answer abruptly. She glances at me, blinking her eyes in annoyance that I answered her first. She turns her attention back to Gabe.

  “Iced tea.” He answers her without ever looking at her, or even noticing that she’s ogling him. She leaves quickly, but not before casting one last snarky look at me over her shoulder.

  “What are you going to order?” Gabe asks, still paging through the menu.

  “Just spaghetti; I’m simple like that,” I say, setting my menu at the end of the table. An abrupt laugh comes from Gabe, catching me off-guard.

  “You’re hardly simple,” he says, looking over his menu at me with both of his eyebrows raised.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Just that; ‘simple’ isn’t a word I would use to describe you,” he says sincerely. I blush at his remark.

  “How would you describe me?”

  “There’s no one word to describe you, Jess.”

  “Give it a shot.”

  “Give me some time to think of a word, ask me again later.” He smiles at me. His full lips stretch with his large smile. His teeth are perfectly straight and bright white against the bronzed skin of his face. I nod at him; just sitting with him, looking at him, and speaking to him has left me speechless.

  “What are you going to get?” I ask curiously, turning the conversation away from me.

  “Not sure yet.”

  Our bitchy server is back with our drinks, a breadbasket, and her shitty attitude. We place our orders, Gabe finally deciding on chicken Marsala. Our server never stops smiling at Gabe; giving him flirty eyes and leaning into him with her hip against our table. I kick him lightly under the table to get his attention and flash him a tight smile.

  “That’ll be all,” he says, sending our waitress on her way. “What?” he asks, looking confused. It amazes me that he doesn’t notice the way women outwardly flirt with him.

  “You know, I’m sure she’ll just give you her phone number if you just ask,” I say sarcastically. “Hell, she’ll probably drop to her knees right here if you just asked her.” A deep laugh erupts from him and he tosses his head back with laughter.

  “Do you think she’s the type of girl I should date?” he asks me, leaning in across the table, his arms folded in front of him.

  “I don’t know what your type is, Gabe,” I shoot back at him, narrowing my eyes.

  “I think you do.”

  “Well, why don’t you save us both some time and energy, and just tell me,” I demand, leaning in toward him. I hate that this table is a barrier between us.

  Turning his head to the side, I can see him contemplating his response. “You want to know what my type is? I’ll tell you,” he whispers. “My type is…” He pauses for a moment before continuing. “I’ll tell you after dinner.” He leans back, trying to contain his smile.

  “Are you kidding me?” I roll my eyes at him. “That’s two things you have to get back to me on.”

  He erupts in laughter again. “I love getting you all worked up,” he says, reaching across the table and placing his hand on top of mine. My eyes drop to our hands, and I look back up at him. I feel a wave of warmth run through me at
his touch. He runs his thumb over the top of my hand and looks from our hands, up to me. His smile fades and a more serious look sets across his face.

  “I wanted to apologize again, Jess. I’m really sorry if I embarrassed you tonight at Xavier’s.”

  I let out a deep breath. I want to be angry with him, but I can’t. Before I have the opportunity to respond, he continues. “It’s just that, I don’t know what I would have done if something had happened to you.”

  “Thank you for apologizing, again, but nothing would have happened.”

  “You don’t know that,” he says sharply.

  “No, I guess I don’t. But thank you for coming to get me.” I offer him a small smile.

  The waitress appears with our food, and I can’t help but flash her a dirty look when she notices Gabe’s hand stretched across the table on top of mine. I’m not really hungry, but I take a few bites of the spaghetti I ordered, trying not to make a mess of myself. I notice Gabe’s demeanor has become a little more serious, and he seems distracted as if something is on his mind.

  “Everything okay?” I ask, taking a small bit of the spaghetti that I’ve twirled around my fork. Looking up at me, he studies my face, and I can tell he wants to say something.

  “You know you can talk to me,” I urge, setting down my fork.

  He nods at me, then looks down at his plate of chicken Marsala. As he pushes the chicken and pasta around, he takes a deep breath. “I’m not going back to Arizona in the fall.”

  I nearly choke on a spaghetti noodle. “What! Why not? Mom and Dad are going to flip the fuck out. What about football? Your scholarship? When did you decide this?” I ask, my thoughts all over the place.

  “You just threw about four hours worth of questions at me.” He laughs at me, shaking his head back and forth. “I’m going to tell Mom and Dad this weekend. I just had to make sure that my plans were set before I made this decision and told everyone.”

  “What plans?”

  “What I’m going to do with my life, Jess. Why I’m staying here in Santa Ruiz,” he answers quietly.

  “So you’re just giving up football and your scholarship?” I ask, my voice laced with concern. “You’re staying here?”

  Nodding his head, he takes a long drink of his iced tea. “I decided at the end of last semester that I really want to be a firefighter, like Luke and Chief. I can finish my studies here and hopefully get on with the department in Santa Ruiz.”

  I’m silent, more out of shock than out of disagreement. My mind is all over the place. I’m elated that he’s staying, yet I’m scared for how Mom and Dad are going to react. I can sense his discomfort with telling me, but I’m so glad he did.

  “Wow,” is all that I can seem to say.

  “That’s it? Just ‘wow’?”

  “I mean, I’m surprised, I guess.” I smile. “You know girls totally dig firefighters, right?” I joke with him.

  “Yeah, I’ve heard that.” He laughs.

  “I’m glad you’re staying,” I whisper, not sure if I want him to hear me or not.

  “Me too,” he whispers back.

  I notice he gets lost in his thoughts again. Our server sets the bill on our table, and he grabs it.

  “Thanks for dinner,” I say, hoping to pull his attention from his serious thoughts. “And thanks again for coming to get me from the party—I mean it.” This time, it’s me reaching out to touch his arm. Lifting his head to look at me, he slides out of the booth.

  “You’re welcome,” he says quietly as he waits for me to slide out of my side of the booth. Reaching out, he takes my hand, pulling me gently to a standing position. Without letting go of my hand, he laces his fingers through mine as he walks us through the restaurant and out the front door to his truck.

  “Hey, remember…you still have to tell me what your type of girl is,” I say, mocking him from earlier.

  He stops near the back of his truck and turns to look back at me. “How about I show you?”

  Chapter 6

  Gabe

  I’m going to tell her tonight. My heart is racing, and my palms are sweating. For over a year, I’ve been dancing around the feelings I have for Jess. I’ve tried to tell myself that I can’t fall for her, or I shouldn’t fall for her, but the problem with that is, it doesn’t work that way. She is a magnetic force that draws me in. Yes, physically, she’s beautiful, but it’s more than that. She makes me feel things I’ve never felt before.

  “Where are we going?” she asks as she looks up and down both sides of the street that we’re driving down.

  “You’ll see when we get there.”

  She smiles at me and gives me an exaggerated eye roll. It’s a gorgeous night—warm, and the sky is perfectly clear with a full moon. I’m taking her to Washington Park where it’s pitch black and we’ll be able to see the stars. It’s off the beaten path, so I can’t imagine that anyone else will be there—all part of my plan.

  As I park under a light in the small gravel parking lot, Jess jumps out of the car before I can get around to open the door for her. When we meet each other in front of my truck, I grab her hand; again lacing our fingers together as if she’s already mine. We walk in the direction of the hill at the far end of the park; I can barely make it out, it’s so dark.

  “It’s so dark,” she says, barely audible. I can’t tell if she’s afraid or just stating the obvious.

  “You’re fine. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.” I give her hand a little reassuring squeeze. Finding our way to the bottom of the hill, we stop and look up at the top.

  “That’s where we’re going?” she asks, looking up the hill.

  “Yep.”

  Climbing the hill takes us a few minutes, but when we get to the top, it’s perfect. The moon is so bright that it illuminates all of Jess’ gorgeous features, yet it’s still dark enough that you can see every star in the sky.

  “It’s beautiful,” she gasps, her head falling backwards as she looks up at the sky.

  “I know. I knew you’d like it here. Come, lie down on your back.” Both of us lie down in the soft grass next to each other, our fingers still intertwined. We lie close to each other, shoulder-to-shoulder and hip-to-hip. Taking her hand, I lay it on my chest, pressing it against the rapid beating of my heart.

  We lie like this for a few minutes as I muster up the courage to tell her what I’ve been wanting to say to her for at least a year.

  “Jess. I need to tell you something. Just please listen without saying anything, okay?” I tell her. She turns her head towards me. The moonlight reflects off of her face, illuminating her full lips.

  “You’re making me nervous.”

  “I told you not to say anything.” I tell her, putting my finger over her lips to keep her quiet. Her lips separate slightly and a quiet laugh escapes. I squeeze her hand, which is still resting on my chest.

  “Sorry. Go ahead.”

  “For months, I’ve had feelings for someone. She’s my type of girl, the one I wanted to tell you about at the restaurant. She’s beautiful and funny, smart and witty.” I pause to swallow and to catch my breath, which seems to have evaded me.

  “I’ve tried to deny those feelings for her, not because I didn’t want to care about her and not because I didn’t want to accept my feelings for her, but because I’m afraid that if I tell her my feelings, she will think differently of me, and it will ruin our friendship.” Her eyes never leave mine, but her grip on my hand loosens. She doesn’t know I’m talking about her. Tightening my fingers around hers so that she can’t pull away, I finally spit it out.

  “Jess, what I’m trying to say is that you are all I think about. I want to hug you and kiss you, and love you. You may not feel the same way about me, but I had to tell you.” She’s still. Staring at me with wide eyes and no emotion on her face. Fuck my life. I shouldn’t have ever told her. A small sigh escapes from me. “Every kiss, every touch damn near killed me. When you came to visit me in Arizona, I got to have just
a little taste of you, not knowing if I’d ever really have you, in the way I have always wanted, has been killing me.” I can’t even believe I just told her that, but it’s the truth. The taste of her lips, the smell of her neck; every one of those things has nearly sent me over the edge.

  She sits up suddenly, and I once again tighten my grip on her hand so she can’t fucking run away from me. I know I’ve scared her.

  “Talk to me,” I whisper. She drops her head, and her long hair falls forward so her face is hidden from me. Sitting up, she scoots to face me while tugging at me gently, coaxing me to sit up as well. The silence is killing me after my declaration to her.

  When I sit up, we’re facing each other, touching knees-to-knees. She takes a deep breath and raises her head.

  “I’m afraid too, because I’ve had feelings for you for as long as I can remember,” she says as I release the breath that I didn’t realize I was holding. A sense of relief washes over me, and before she can say anything else, I lean in and press my lips to hers, needing her to feel how much I want her. When she drops her hands, I bring mine up to cup both sides of her face.

  Relief washes over me when she kisses me back. We’re both taking what we’ve denied each other. The taste of her lips is something I will never, in all of my life, forget. Her lips are full and soft—and mine. Gently pushing her onto her back, I lie at her side, deepening my kiss.

  I nip lightly at her bottom lip and run my tongue across it. I can feel her heart beating against my chest, and all I can think about is how I want to take her right here, but then I don’t. I want perfect with her, and in the grass on top of a hill is not perfect enough for her. I continue to kiss her across her cheek and behind her ear, and the low moan that comes from the back of her throat when I kiss that spot behind her ear gets me instantly hard. I need to stop now, but I don’t—or rather, I can’t.

  Working my way down her neck and back up again, I hover over her slightly swollen lips. Weaving my fingers through her hair, I pull her face to me, pressing my lips to hers one more time. I’ve never kissed a woman like this before or had a kiss mean what this means. I’m in love with this woman. Madly in love.