Bent not Broken

by Lisa De Jong

  “Thank you,” she whispers against my lips as I still kiss her. Her hands are firm, gripping my biceps.

  “For what?” I mumble, still kissing her. Now that I have kissed her, tasted her, I don’t ever want to stop.

  “For everything,” she whispers, gently pushing me off her. She rolls herself on top of me so that she is straddling me. Grabbing my hands, she laces her fingers through mine and places them next to my head, holding them on each side of me while she kisses me. God, she’s so fucking sexy. She repeats every kiss, every movement that I did to her, including nipping me on the bottom lip and the kiss behind the ear. God, I want her.

  Slowing down, she sits up, and when I join her, I pull her to my lap as she wraps her legs around my waist.

  “Now what?” she laughs, dropping her head to my shoulder. I breathe her in and let the smell of coconut invade my nose.

  “This is just the beginning,” I say to her, planting a kiss on her lips in between each word.

  “Beginning of what?”

  “Us.” A huge sense of relief washes over me. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do if she didn’t reciprocate my feelings. A quiet laugh escapes her lips as she lays her head on my chest. We lie like this; in the silence. Her warm body pressed against mine feels natural, like she was made for me.

  I shift slightly to my side. “Jess?”

  “Mmm hmm.”

  “Last year, when I kissed you in Arizona.” I pause as she sits up and whispers, “Yeah.”

  “I wanted to tell you all of this back then. I’m sorry I waited so long.” When I see a hint of a smile, I continue. “Every text, every phone call, every e-mail since that night, I’ve always wanted to tell you this. But tonight, seeing your face, touching your lips, holding you—this is exactly what I wanted.”

  “Me too,” she whispers.

  Chapter 7

  Jess

  I want the drive home to last forever, but of course, those four miles and two right turns pass in the blink of an eye. I could have laid on top of that hill all night with him. Every dream, every wish, every hope of mine came true tonight.

  “What are you thinking about?” he asks me quietly as he cuts the engine and we sit in the dark cab of his pick-up truck.

  “Just how happy I am right now. In this moment, how everything I ever wanted just happened,” and I pause, “and that I’m so afraid all at the same time.”

  “Why are you afraid?”

  “I’m afraid that when I wake up tomorrow, this won’t be real. I feel like you’re going to wake up and realize you told your ‘kid sister’ you had feelings for her, and that you’re going to regret everything you said to me tonight.” I take a deep breath and hit him with one last punch. “And I’m so afraid that I won’t be enough for you—pretty enough, smart enough—just ‘good enough’ in general for you.” I cast my eyes down at my fidgeting hands. It was so hard to say those words, admit those insecurities, but it’s the truth.

  He grabs my chin, turning my head so that our eyes meet. “This is real. Don’t ever doubt my feelings for you. For years, I’ve watched you, wanted you—waited for you.” He moves his hand from my chin and cups my cheek. “Please don’t be afraid, Jess. I promise I won’t ever hurt you.” I nod my head, and let his words ease my fears. “And don’t you ever think you’re not good enough for me, do you understand?” His voice is quiet yet firm.

  “Yes,” I whisper.

  The front porch light turns on and pulls us from this moment. “We should get inside.” Leaning across the console, he presses his lips to mine. His kiss is intense, hungry. He mumbles the words “this is real” against my lips in between soft kisses.

  “Understand?” he asks me.

  “Yes,” I whisper back, pressing one last kiss to his lips.

  I open my bedroom door to find Ava still working on her speech. She looks up at me, raising her eyebrow.

  “You’re home early. How was the party?” she asks, looking back down at the index cards she has notes scribbled all over.

  “It’s after midnight, Ava. That’s not early.” I laugh. “The party was, ah…good,” I mumble as I strip off my clothes, throwing on a tank top and boxer shorts.

  “Must have been one hell of a party. You’re dead sober—looks like I didn’t miss much.” She smirks; her words dripping with sarcasm. Not acknowledging her comment, I roll my eyes and head to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. My pulse quickens, thinking about Gabe being in the room next door lying in his bed, and how badly I want to crawl in next to him and snuggle up to his warm body.

  I splash cold water on my face to try to stop thinking about him. If I don’t, I know I won’t be getting any sleep. As I tiptoe across the hallway back to my room, I stop to glance at his closed bedroom door. There’s a hint of light coming from underneath, probably from his TV. Smiling to myself as I replay the last few hours, I walk over to his door, resting my hand on the handle. Glancing over my shoulder to ensure no one is coming, I hesitantly open the door and step in, closing the door quietly behind me. He is lying on the bed; when he sees me, he slowly sits up.

  I stand there, nervously tugging at the hem of my top as he stands and walks toward me. Pressing his body flush against mine and grabbing my hips, he whispers, “Miss me already?” He’s so close I have to tilt my head to look up at him. Timidly, I slide my hands up his bare chest and around the back of his neck. With piercing eyes, he stands, staring down at me intently. My breathing is shallow, and nerves swarm in my belly as I gently pull him down to me.

  Looking up at him, I close my eyes as he presses his lips to mine. Slowly, he moves his lips back and forth across mine. His tongue finds the smallest opening and urges my lips apart, and his kiss becomes more intimate. I gasp as he alternates between light and gentle, and intense, deep kisses. My legs shake slightly as my body is overcome by the intensity of this moment. We are both breathing erratically when he drags his lips away from mine.

  “I should go,” I say in a hush.

  Pressing one last kiss to my lips, he whispers, “I don’t want you to.”

  I reach behind me, grasping the doorknob. “I know, but I need to.” I slip out of Gabe’s room and cross the hallway back to mine.

  “What’s that smirk for?” Ava says as she catches me smiling.

  “Nothing. I’m just tired and ready to go to sleep,” I lie. Jumping into bed, I pull my comforter over my head to hide the smile that is still spread across my face. I’m positive this was the best night of my life.

  “You’re a terrible liar,” Ava mumbles.

  “Shut up, Ava,” I mumble from underneath my comforter.

  ****

  Thump

  Thump

  “Are you kidding me right now, Ava?” I scream as best I can with a raspy voice. There is nothing worse than being woken up by pillows being thrown at your head.

  “No, I’m not kidding. You need to get up, now. We need to talk. I just got off the phone with Adrian and he told me about Gabe’s little ‘knight in shining armor’ rescue last night.”

  Fuck. Sitting up, I sweep my long, messy hair from my face.

  “He picked me up; so what?”

  “So what?” She stands next to my bed with her hands on her hips and a smirk on her face. “God, it’s been obvious for weeks. The not very discreet looks between you guys. The strange tension when you’re around each other. I was just waiting for you two to slip up.”

  “Slip up?” I question her. “Gabe didn’t want us going to the party, Ava. When he found out you weren’t with me, he came to get me. That’s all there is to tell.”

  “You’re lying.”

  “No, I’m not.”

  “Yes, you are. When you lie, you get a rash on your neck. Your neck is bright red and it’s starting to crawl up your cheeks. So just spill it, would you?”

  Shit. Sighing, I place my hand over my neck and feel my pulse beating rapidly. “We’ve really been that obvious?”

  “Let’s jus
t say, you two suck at hiding things. You don’t need to be fucking Sherlock Holmes to figure you two out.” She laughs, and I’m annoyed. “What were you doing last night anyway? You didn’t get home until after midnight,” she asks, raising her eyebrows up.

  I decide it’s best just to be honest at this point. “He came to get me from Xavier’s and we ended up grabbing dinner at Mancini’s. We just talked until we came home. Honestly, Ava, that’s all that happened.”

  “What did you talk about?”

  “Really? Does it matter?”

  “Yes, it does.”

  “We talked about school.”

  “That’s it?” she asks.

  “No, that’s not it, but I can’t remember everything we talked about. Lots of things, I guess.”

  “Did you kiss?”

  “Ava!”

  “What? It’s a valid question.”

  “I’m not answering that.” I can feel my face flush.

  She gasps, “You did. You kissed my brother. Ewwww.”

  I bury my face in my hands. I was not expecting an interrogation first thing this morning. “Look, I’m happy for you guys,” she says quietly. “Just don’t be touching each other in front of me—that’s gross and not something I need these precious little eyes of mine seeing.” She giggles, sitting down on the bed next to me.

  As I look up at her, I can feel my face flush again with embarrassment. “I should have told you I had feelings for him,” I admit.

  “Nah, I can imagine it would be weird for you to talk to me about my brother,” she says sincerely.

  I nod my head and smile. “You know this is the first time I’ve ever had to keep a secret from you.” I giggle.

  “Is that why you always keep Max at arm’s length? Because you like Gabe?”

  “Kind of, I mean, I just never had feelings for Max; he’s just a good friend. That’s all.”

  “He’s going to be heartbroken, you know?” She laughs.

  “He’ll be fine.”

  My phone rings on my nightstand and I can’t help but be thankful for the interruption. Glancing at the screen, I pull it from the power cord and answer it. I mouth to Ava, “It’s my dad,” and she leaves the room.

  “Hey, Jessie,” my dad says excitedly into the phone.

  “Morning, Dad.”

  “You excited? Today’s your big day.”

  “Yeah,” I say quietly.

  “I’m really proud of you.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Say, the reason I’m calling is, I wanted to see if you wanted to grab dinner after graduation. I’m going to have to work again tonight, but wanted to spend some time with you before I head back to work.”

  “Sure, that sounds good. Hey, Dad, so now that I’m graduating, do you think I can start staying at our house? You said I could, but I wanted to ask again.” There is silence on the phone.

  “Let’s talk about it at dinner. Pick a place, anywhere you want to go.”

  “Can we do Thai?”

  “Sounds perfect. I’ll see you at the school at three o’clock.” And the phone clicks. This is the extent of conversations with my dad.

  After I shower quickly and get dressed, I decide to head home, across the street, to relax for a few hours before graduation. Closing the bedroom door behind me, I hear Gabe’s raised voice coming from the kitchen. I freeze momentarily when I hear the exchange between him, Mom and Dad, and even Luke. I tiptoe down the stairs and out the front door as quietly as possible.

  I’m not home ten minutes when my phone pings, alerting me to a new text message. Fishing my phone out of my purse, I slide open the screen to see a new message from Gabe.

  “Where did you go?”

  I don’t know why this makes me happy, but it does and I smile as I tap out my reply.

  “Home.”

  “I’ll be right over.”

  Those four words cause my pulse to quicken and my palms to sweat. I rush into the bathroom to throw some mascara on my eyelashes and swipe some lip gloss across my lips. I run my fingers through my long, wavy hair, hoping to make it look more manageable. Just as I finish up, the doorbell rings and my stomach flips with anxiety.

  I pause momentarily before opening the door, taking a deep breath. Twisting the doorknob, I open the door and Gabe immediately steps over the threshold and pulls me to his lips. His kiss is warm and sweet.

  “You taste like cherries,” he mumbles against my lips.

  “It’s my lip gloss.”

  “I like it.” He finally pulls his lips off mine, but continues to hold me close to him.

  “I like you,” I whisper and press my lips to his for one more kiss.

  Pulling out of his embrace, I walk to the couch and sit down, and he follows me. Settling in next to me, he pulls my hand into his.

  “So what are your plans tonight after graduation?” he asks.

  “Dad is taking me to dinner before heading back to the station,” I say with a shrug.

  “Luke mentioned they’re shorthanded; he’s headed into work after graduation too. So you’ll be at our house tonight, then?”

  “Not sure; I’m trying to convince my dad to let me stay here now.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I’m almost nineteen; I think I can stay at my own house.” I laugh.

  “But I like you across the hall from me.”

  “I like you across the hall from me too, but it’s time for me to grow up and stay on my own once in a while.” I run my thumb over the top of his hand.

  “I suppose.” He smiles. “Is your dad going to be at graduation? I need to talk to him.”

  “He’ll be there, but why don’t you come to dinner with us tonight.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes, I’m sure. In fact, you’d be doing me a favor. I don’t know what we’d talk about if we were by ourselves anyway. You guys can talk ‘fire talk.’” I laugh. “Speaking of ‘fire talk,’ I heard you talking to Mom and Dad when I snuck out. How did it go?”

  “They’re warming to it. At first, they were really upset, but they want me to be happy.” He pauses, deep in thought for a few seconds. “This makes me happy. You make me happy.” He flashes a genuine smile at me.

  “You better not have based this decision on me. What happens when you decide next week that you don’t like me anymore? Are you going to run back to Arizona?” I ask seriously.

  His head tips back and he laughs at me. “Don’t talk like that. I’ll never not like you. Ever. What are you thinking?” he asks in a serious tone.

  “I think you’re crazy, is what I’m thinking. But I love you anyway,” I say, laughing. I hope that it came out as more of a joke, but I’m serious; I’m madly in love with him.

  Chapter 8

  Gabe

  Graduation was…just like any other graduation, but Jess was beautiful in her cap and gown and Ava’s speech was a hit. We spent an hour after the ceremony taking an endless amount of pictures and now I’m ready to have dinner with Chief and Jess. I ring the doorbell and wait.

  “Gabe, come on in, son. Jess says you’re joining us for dinner,” he says, offering me his hand for a handshake.

  “Yes, sir,” I say. Why the fuck am I so nervous? Jess comes around the corner, and my pulse quickens. She’s wearing a long strapless casual black dress and sandals. Her hair is flowing down over her shoulders. Her green eyes are striking against her tanned skin and the dark dress.

  “Jess.” I nod my head at her.

  “Hi.” She smiles.

  “Well, if you two are done gawking at each other, let’s go,” Chief says. Jess’ mouth falls open, and I feel myself blush.

  “Gabe, you can ride with me. Dad has to drive separately since he’s going to work after dinner,” she says. Once we’re safely out of Chief’s line of vision, I shoot my eyes to her.

  “Did you tell him already? Jesus, I wasn’t expecting that.” I’m whispering, afraid he might hear me.

  “No! I didn’t tell him. Are we t
hat fucking obvious?” she asks.

  “That’s exactly what I was wondering.”

  “Ava says we are,” I admit.

  “She knows?”

  “She does now. Adrian told her you showed up at the party and dragged me out of there like a caveman.”

  I laugh at the caveman reference. “Good, one less person we need to stress about telling.”

  Leaning forward, she rests her head on the steering wheel for a moment and, when she raises her head, she just starts laughing. “Let’s go,” she says.

  Our hostess seats us in a booth. Jess slides in next to her dad, and I sit across from them. I try not to look at Jess too much, but apparently, we’re transparent, according to everyone around us. Chief orders a bunch of different entrées that we all decide to share, which makes it easy since I can’t decide what I want to eat because I’m so nervous.

  “So, Chief,” I finally say, clearing my throat. “I have something I want to talk to you about.” I glance at Jess and back to Chief.

  “Sure, what’s up, son?” he asks, his voice deep. His eyes shift between Jess and me.

  “I’ve decided not to go back to Arizona in the fall.” I pause, waiting to see his reaction.

  He focuses his eyes on me for a few seconds. “Okay.” he nods his head for me to continue.

  “I’ve decided that I’d like to train at the academy and hopefully come on your crew as a firefighter.”

  He takes a drink of his ice water, sets his glass down, and plays with the condensation that is dripping down the side of the glass. “That’s a big decision to make, son. Have you talked to your parents?” he asks, knowing they’d be concerned about my decision to not return to school.

  “Yes, they were concerned at first. They didn’t want me to toss away my scholarship, but they’re supportive and warming to my decision. They’re proud of Luke and said they’d be just as proud of me if this is what I really wanted to do.”

  “And is it?” He raises an eyebrow at me.