The Dragon Megapack

by Wildside Press

  And they stole away out of the palace by night unawares, and seated themselves on the griffin, who flew back with them over the Red Sea. When they were half-way across Lily let the nut fall into the water, and immediately a large nut-tree arose from the sea, whereon the griffin rested for a while, and then carried them safely home. There they found their child, now grown up to be comely and fair; and after all their troubles they lived happily together to the end of their days.

  THE BIT ABOUT DRAGONS, by Michael Kurland

  Excerpted from The Unicorn Girl

  “Look,” I said. “Isn’t that something in the road ahead?”

  “How are you punctuating that?” Chester asked suspiciously.

  “There,” I insisted. “Look. It’s a car.”

  When we were close I saw that the object was a car only in so far as form follows function. It had once been a car: a black, four-door gangster model, complete with running boards and spare tire mounted in the fender. It was now a hulk. Tires rotted off, headlights and windows broken, fenders and bumpers rusted through; the car was slowly going back to the earth from which it was mined.

  On top of the car hulk a man, wrapped in a white sheet, sat cross-legged and stared serenely off at the horizon. He managed to subtly convey the impression that he’d been there as long as the car.

  “Look,” Chester said. “A guru.”

  Dorothy looked. “He’s dirty,” she said. “Is that why you call him ugh-aroo?”

  “I think he’s a Grand High Exalted Muckamuck in the KKK,” I suggested.

  Sylvia, as usual, took direct action. “Hello,” she said, walking over to the side of the wreck. There was no response. “Please, sir, could you tell us where we are?”

  The head riding above the pyramid of sheet slowly turned until the beard was facing Sylvia, then stopped. “You,” it declared calmly, “are here.”

  “Aha,” I said. “One of those; I knew it.”

  “Here,” Chester offered, stepping forward. “Let me.” He stood in front of the car and raised his hand, palm upward. “Greetings. Will you enlighten us?”

  Whitesheet stared down at Chester for a long moment. “Impossible,” he declared.

  Sylvia displayed patience. “Good sir,” she said, standing on tiptoe and smiling brightly, “will you tell us what we will find further down the road?”

  Whitesheet nodded. “Yes.” We waited.

  “Perhaps,” I suggested after three or four minutes had passed, “we should ...”

  “That way,” Whitesheet said, flopping an arm out to his left, “lies madness.”

  Sylvia stared along a parallel to the pointing finger and considered the vista. “But,” she noted, “there’s no road.”

  “Most who seek manage to find their way. On the other hand,” he raised his other hand, “over there be dragons. Or, at least, dragon.”

  He was indicating the direction we were heading. “Oh!” Sylvia exclaimed. “Fierce, up-tight, fire-breathing dragons?”

  “One young dragonette, her furnace barely stoked, and her brood of hatchlings.’”

  “Thank you,” Sylvia said.

  “Dragons?” I asked Chester.

  “Unicorns?” he replied.

  During all of this Dorothy had been staring at the car-sitter with an expression of earnest curiosity. Finally she could no longer contain it. She rose. “You,” she said, gesturing so that there could be no mistake as to whom she meant. “What are you doing up there?”

  His head turned with the steady sweep of a radar beacon until his unblinking gaze was full on Dorothy, then stopped. “I,” he stated in a voice that would brook no disagreement, “am the rightful King of France, with a strong claim on the thrones of Spain, Portugal, England, the Holy Roman—or, if you prefer, Austro-Hungarian— Empire, Italy, Greece, Mexico, the Duchies of Herzegovina, Faulkenberg, Ruritania, Alba, Courland, Bosnia, and others too numerous to mention. I have been done out of my heritage; and am going to sit right here until I get it back. My faithful minions are, even now, preparing the way.”

  Chester snorted. “You’ll have to do better than that.”

  The radar gaze turned to him. “If I must. I am a student of the Mysteries of the East. After much meditation and study, I had perfected the technique of levitation; and while I was up here, five feet off the ground, somebody stuck an old car under me.”

  “That,” Chester agreed, “is better.”

  I laughed. “Which are we to believe?”

  “All three.”

  “Three?”

  The radar eyes burned into mine from under bushy brows. “I came out here to do a character bit in a television commercial. The rest of the crew never showed up, and I’m staying till they do. At triple time. I’ve been here nine years now.”

  “Three,” I agreed.

  “Come on,” Chester said, herding us around the car.

  “Goodbye,” the prince/guru/actor called as we walked down the road. “Watch out for dragon.”

  It was around the next bend. There was a clearing to the left of the road that was full of round, flat-top stones and had been roofed over with some sort of tenting material. The hatchlings were squatting, one to a stone, and clutching small slates. A strange squeaking sound that filled the air proved to be the four- foot upright alligators writing on the slates with hunks of chalk.

  In front of the group, at the far end of the clearing, eighteen feet of prime lady dragon paced back and forth, whipping a large tail in great arcs behind. “I said the next slide, please,” she called out in a vibrato soprano bellow.

  A small, harassed-looking man fiddled with a large black box in mid-clearing. “I’m trying, I’m trying,” he replied nervously.

  “Constantly,” dragonette agreed. “Ah!” she sighed, breathing out just the tiniest wisp of flame, “there.” After a clicking sound from either the man or the projector, a large picture was cast partly on her and mostly on a backdrop behind her.

  Nobody had noticed us standing at the back edge of this outdoor classroom, and I thought it better to keep it that way. “What now?” I whispered to Chester. “Hide here until they go away—or, maybe until I wake up?”

  “I refuse,” Chester told me, “to be a figment of your dream. That lacks imagination. Besides, I know who’d get the best part.”

  “The question,” I said. “I asked you a question; the least you can do is answer it.”

  “Yes. Well. I think the best thing we can do is walk quietly by. The only one in a position to notice us is Madam Teacher, and she’s too busy.”

  “Interesting theory, friend,” I said. “Would you care to be the first to make the experiment?”

  “Come on, you’ve been a teacher. You know that you have to ignore petty problems so as not to disrupt the class. It would be better to be seen crossing by Teach up there than found hiding by the kids.”

  “Okay,” I said. “I just hope it’s not near lunch break.” The four of us bunched together and proceeded to calmly (ha!) and quietly walk by the back of the clearing.

  “This,” dragon lady was saying, tapping the picture with a ten-foot pole, “is a famous illustration of one of the great stories of Dragonpast. Can any of you hatchlings tell me what it is?”

  I looked as we passed. For a moment the shadings of light and shadow created a pattern that canceled the projection. Then my eye adjusted to the shade, and the picture was clear. It was the classic view of Saint George and the Dragon. You know the one: George on a rearing horse, his armor gleaming gold, about to plunge his lance into coils and coils of cowering dragon.

  “I know,” a hatchling squeaked like a row of freight cars braking. “That’s the picture of Ethyl the Martyr and the Man in the Tin Suit.”

  “That’s right, Marflagiggle. Very good. Now squat back down and I’ll tell you the story.”

  We crept by. When we passed out of sight of the reptilian schoolroom we broke into a relieved, but hasty, trot. The last thing I heard as we ran into the distance, was “It w
as then that Ethyl realized that things were getting out of claw. She ...”

  After jogging for not quite as long as it seemed, we stopped for a while to breathe hard. “I guess I’ll have to get married,” I said when I had enough wind back to pretend I hadn’t lost it. “With stories like this to tell,” I explained to the puzzled stares, “it would be a shame not to have grandchildren to bore with them. ‘Come sit on my knee, little girl, and Gramps will tell you about the time he audited a class of dragons.’”

  “You desire little girl grandchildren?” Sylvia asked.

  “The ones that sit on my knee had better be little girls,” I explained.

  Sylvia giggled. “All right, Gramps, I’ll sit on your knee; but this time keep your hands to yourself.”

  THE PRINCE AND THE DRAGON, by Andrew Lang

  Once upon a time there lived an emperor who had three sons. They were all fine young men, and fond of hunting, and scarcely a day passed without one or other of them going out to look for game.

  One morning the eldest of the three princes mounted his horse and set out for a neighbouring forest, where wild animals of all sorts were to be found. He had not long left the castle, when a hare sprang out of a thicket and dashed across the road in front. The young man gave chase at once, and pursued it over hill and dale, till at last the hare took refuge in a mill which was standing by the side of a river. The prince followed and entered the mill, but stopped in terror by the door, for, instead of a hare, before him stood a dragon, breathing fire and flame. At this fearful sight the prince turned to fly, but a fiery tongue coiled round his waist, and drew him into the dragon’s mouth, and he was seen no more.

  A week passed away, and when the prince never came back everyone in the town began to grow uneasy. At last his next brother told the emperor that he likewise would go out to hunt, and that perhaps he would find some clue as to his brother’s disappearance. But hardly had the castle gates closed on the prince than the hare sprang out of the bushes as before, and led the huntsman up hill and down dale, till they reached the mill. Into this the hare flew with the prince at his heels, when, lo! instead of the hare, there stood a dragon breathing fire and flame; and out shot a fiery tongue which coiled round the prince’s waist, and lifted him straight into the dragon’s mouth, and he was seen no more.

  Days went by, and the emperor waited and waited for the sons who never came, and could not sleep at night for wondering where they were and what had become of them. His youngest son wished to go in search of his brothers, but for long the emperor refused to listen to him, lest he should lose him also. But the prince prayed so hard for leave to make the search, and promised so often that he would be very cautious and careful, that at length the emperor gave him permission, and ordered the best horse in the stables to be saddled for him.

  Full of hope the young prince started on his way, but no sooner was he outside the city walls than a hare sprang out of the bushes and ran before him, till they reached the mill. As before, the animal dashed in through the open door, but this time he was not followed by the prince. Wiser than his brothers, the young man turned away, saying to himself: “There are as good hares in the forest as any that have come out of it, and when I have caught them, I can come back and look for you.”

  For many hours he rode up and down the mountain, but saw nothing, and at last, tired of waiting, he went back to the mill. Here he found an old woman sitting, whom he greeted pleasantly.

  “Good morning to you, little mother,” he said; and the old woman answered: “Good morning, my son.”

  “Tell me, little mother,” went on the prince, “where shall I find my hare?”

  “My son,” replied the old woman, “that was no hare, but a dragon who has led many men hither, and then has eaten them all.” At these words the prince’s heart grew heavy, and he cried, “Then my brothers must have come here, and have been eaten by the dragon!”

  “You have guessed right,” answered the old woman; “and I can give you no better counsel than to go home at once, before the same fate overtakes you.”

  “Will you not come with me out of this dreadful place?” said the young man.

  “He took me prisoner, too,” answered she, “and I cannot shake off his chains.”

  “Then listen to me,” cried the prince. “When the dragon comes back, ask him where he always goes when he leaves here, and what makes him so strong; and when you have coaxed the secret from him, tell me the next time I come.”

  So the prince went home, and the old woman remained in the mill, and as soon as the dragon returned she said to him:

  “Where have you been all this time—you must have travelled far?”

  “Yes, little mother, I have indeed travelled far.” answered he. Then the old woman began to flatter him, and to praise his cleverness; and when she thought she had got him into a good temper, she said: “I have wondered so often where you get your strength from; I do wish you would tell me. I would stoop and kiss the place out of pure love!” The dragon laughed at this, and answered:

  “In the hearthstone yonder lies the secret of my strength.”

  Then the old woman jumped up and kissed the hearth; whereat the dragon laughed the more, and said:

  “You foolish creature! I was only jesting. It is not in the hearthstone, but in that tall tree that lies the secret of my strength.” Then the old woman jumped up again and put her arms round the tree, and kissed it heartily. Loudly laughed the dragon when he saw what she was doing.

  “Old fool,” he cried, as soon as he could speak, “did you really believe that my strength came from that tree?”

  “Where is it then?” asked the old woman, rather crossly, for she did not like being made fun of.

  “My strength,” replied the dragon, “lies far away; so far that you could never reach it. Far, far from here is a kingdom, and by its capital city is a lake, and in the lake is a dragon, and inside the dragon is a wild boar, and inside the wild boar is a pigeon, and inside the pigeon a sparrow, and inside the sparrow is my strength.” And when the old woman heard this, she thought it was no use flattering him any longer, for never, never, could she take his strength from him.

  The following morning, when the dragon had left the mill, the prince came back, and the old woman told him all that the creature had said. He listened in silence, and then returned to the castle, where he put on a suit of shepherd’s clothes, and taking a staff in his hand, he went forth to seek a place as tender of sheep.

  For some time he wandered from village to village and from town to town, till he came at length to a large city in a distant kingdom, surrounded on three sides by a great lake, which happened to be the very lake in which the dragon lived. As was his custom, he stopped everybody whom he met in the streets that looked likely to want a shepherd and begged them to engage him, but they all seemed to have shepherds of their own, or else not to need any. The prince was beginning to lose heart, when a man who had overheard his question turned round and said that he had better go and ask the emperor, as he was in search of some one to see after his flocks.

  “Will you take care of my sheep?” said the emperor, when the young man knelt before him.

  “Most willingly, your Majesty,” answered the young man, and he listened obediently while the emperor told him what he was to do.

  “Outside the city walls,” went on the emperor, “you will find a large lake, and by its banks lie the richest meadows in my kingdom. When you are leading out your flocks to pasture, they will all run straight to these meadows, and none that have gone there have ever been known to come back. Take heed, therefore, my son, not to suffer your sheep to go where they will, but drive them to any spot that you think best.”

  With a low bow the prince thanked the emperor for his warning, and promised to do his best to keep the sheep safe. Then he left the palace and went to the market-place, where he bought two greyhounds, a hawk, and a set of pipes; after that he took the sheep out to pasture. The instant the animals caught sight of
the lake lying before them, they trotted off as fast as their legs would go to the green meadows lying round it. The prince did not try to stop them; he only placed his hawk on the branch of a tree, laid his pipes on the grass, and bade the greyhounds sit still; then, rolling up his sleeves and trousers, he waded into the water crying as he did so: “Dragon! dragon! if you are not a coward, come out and fight with me!” And a voice answered from the depths of the lake:

  “I am waiting for you, O prince”; and the next minute the dragon reared himself out of the water, huge and horrible to see. The prince sprang upon him and they grappled with each other and fought together till the sun was high, and it was noonday. Then the dragon gasped:

  “O prince, let me dip my burning head once into the lake, and I will hurl you up to the top of the sky.” But the prince answered, “Oh, ho! my good dragon, do not crow too soon! If the emperor’s daughter were only here, and would kiss me on the forehead, I would throw you up higher still!” And suddenly the dragon’s hold loosened, and he fell back into the lake.

  As soon as it was evening, the prince washed away all signs of the fight, took his hawk upon his shoulder, and his pipes under his arm, and with his greyhounds in front and his flock following after him he set out for the city. As they all passed through the streets the people stared in wonder, for never before had any flock returned from the lake.

  The next morning he rose early, and led his sheep down the road to the lake. This time, however, the emperor sent two men on horseback to ride behind him, with orders to watch the prince all day long. The horsemen kept the prince and his sheep in sight, without being seen themselves. As soon as they beheld the sheep running towards the meadows, they turned aside up a steep hill, which overhung the lake. When the shepherd reached the place he laid, as before, his pipes on the grass and bade the greyhounds sit beside them, while the hawk he perched on the branch of the tree. Then he rolled up his trousers and his sleeves, and waded into the water crying: