by Angel Lawson
“I’m in,” George says.
“Same,” Charlie agrees.
Jake looks at Dexter expectantly and he mutters something under his breath and says, “Fine. But you have to be blindfolded.”
“I like that,” I say, not wanting to know who was the first of the first anyway. “Anyone have a bandana?”
“I do,” George says, and wades over to rummage through his backpack. He pulls out a blue and white bandana. He hands it to Jake, who folds it carefully and holds it up to my head.
“You sure?” he asks.
“Positive.” My stomach is full of butterflies but they’re good ones, not the evil mind-bullies that normally take over. This is what it feels like to make decisions.
I can’t describe why I trust these boys, but I do. They’ve each earned it in their own way, helping me or allowing me to help them. They’ve been selfless. Sweet. Funny. When Jake lowers the blindfold over my eyes and I’m left with nothing but my other senses, I don’t feel afraid. I feel free.
“I don’t want to know who’s who,” I tell them. “So no talking.”
“Just kissing—got it.” George laughs.
“Go stand over there and come across the water one at a time.” I hear the splash of water and a few whispered words. I sit on the rock with my legs hanging over the side. The water below isn’t deep and when they approach me, they should be at eye level.
“You ready?” Jake calls.
“Yep.”
I focus on the sounds of the forest. The rushing water of the falls. I hear the swish of the pool and a hand touches my knee. I lick my lips and feel the warmth of breath. I don’t wait long until my lips are met with the gentleness of another’s. Soft and supple, and my heart hammers so, so fast. I kiss him back, it’s instinctive, and there’s a low hum coming from my partner that ends the kiss abruptly.
My lips feel weird and I touch them, wondering who it may have been.
“Uh, wow,” I say, feeling a little dizzy. “Who’s next?”
I hear the splash of someone entering the water and my stomach clenches when my chin is tilted up. I wonder if it’s Jake, too tall for me to meet face-to-face, but I stop questioning when I taste cherry on his tongue (!) and his hand splays behind my neck, pulling me close. His mouth moves leisurely like he has all the time in the world, and the blood that rushes to my ears is echoed by the water rolling off the falls and I’m consumed, utterly consumed by whoever this is and why they’re so amazingly good at it.
When they pull away I’m left wanting more, my entire body burning with flames. I cough, and nod, hoping the next one will come over.
The next draws things out slowly at first, kissing my neck and just below my ear. A shiver runs down my spine and by the time they meet my lips, I’m craving more. My unspoken wish comes true as the gentleness of the first kisses falls away into something deeper, more intense, and the unmistakable hunger is something I’ve never experienced in my life. He moves between my knees and I wrap my legs around his hips, only thinking about how close I can get to him. There’s a cough from across the water—a nudge for restraint--and as quickly as it starts, it stops.
My chest is heaving—heaving—I feel it and am hyper-aware. I don’t care though. I just want the final kiss. This one comes slower, his strides through the pool intentional. My hands clench the edge of the rock for support and I wonder how this one will surpass the last.
Fingertips skim my knees, then my collarbone near the ties of my bikini. There’s a sweet kiss on my jaw. Slow and seductive. Another at my temple and one more on my forehead. Goosebumps run up and down my arms and I lick my lips in anticipation. I feel his mouth near mine, our breath mingling, my heart thumping.
Thump-thump. Thump-thump.
His fingers toy with the tie around my neck and the knot in my belly twists tighter—lower.
“Kiss me,” I whisper.
His nose grazes against mine and I feel the simple brush of a kiss across my lips. Quick and sweet.
“When you and I kiss for the first time, there won’t be any mistake,” Dexter says quietly.
And then he’s gone.
I wait a beat, then two, until I’m sure they’re all back across the water. I strip off the blindfold and catch a glimpse of four handsome boys with four identical smirks. I’m overheated. Overjoyed. And do the only thing I can think of.
I hop off the rock and sink into the water—cooling off my skin, my body, and wishing away the flame of desire I unwittingly stoked and I’m sure I’ll never be able to douse.
17
The phone rings not long after I’ve returned from the hike and taken a shower. I’m in my room when Leelee shouts that my mother is on the phone. I pick up the extension—a pink princess model left over from my mother’s teenage years.
“Mom?”
“Starlee! You’re a hard person to get in touch with.”
“Ah well, you know how the busy season is.”
“I do vaguely recall that,” she says. “You guys prepping for the Fourth of July festival?”
“Yep. I’ve got a whole list of supplies to get in June Lake tomorrow.”
It feels weird not telling her about my day—my momentous day—my first kiss(es), the picnic the boys made for me, the boys in general…but I know what her response will be and I don’t want anything to spoil the day.
“You’re going to June Lake alone?”
“I, uh,” I coil the phone cord around my finger, “no. I think Katie, one of the other workers, is going with me.”
I’m glad this call is over landline and not FaceTime or video chat.
“Is Katie your age?”
“She’s a little older. I don’t know her very well, but Leelee’s known her for a long time. She’s a nice person.”
I hear her emit a little “hmm” as though she’s trying to decide how safe this girl is. Even from across the country, my mother is trying to control my life.
“So, what are you doing for the Fourth,” I ask, switching gears. We didn’t normally do much, but maybe with me gone she’ll get out. Mom starts to answer when I hear a click against my bedroom window. I walk over and push back the curtain. A figure leans against the fence behind the house.
Dexter.
Now that’s a surprise. I smile and wave.
“So anyway, I think maybe I’ll just spend the day at home catching up on some contracts. It’s too hot and humid to do much of anything outside.”
“Right,” I hear myself saying, even though I’m not paying much attention. Dexter pushes himself off the fence and walks to the window. Holding the phone in the crook of my neck, I unlatch the lock and slide it up. “Well that sounds fun.”
“Paperwork sounds fun?”
“What?” I try to focus but Dexter’s blue eyes are taunting me. “Sorry, I’m just really tired. Long day.”
“I’ll let you get your rest. I just wanted to check up on you.”
“Thanks, Mom.” When I say ‘Mom’, Dexter raises an eyebrow.
“And be careful in June Lake, okay? I know it seems like a sleepy town but be aware of your surroundings.”
“Gotcha.”
“Night, babe. I miss you.”
“I miss you, too,” I lie. I don’t. I don’t miss her at all and I don’t know how to feel about that. Especially since Dexter is staring me down and all I want to do is talk to him. He and I have some unfinished business.
I hang up the phone and walk over to my bedroom door and lock it. Then I head back to the window and climb outside. Dexter’s hands are on my hips, steadying me as I lower myself to the ground.
“Hey,” he says. He smells like soap and shampoo. “That was your mom?”
“Yep.”
“You didn’t tell her about today, did you?”
“Not a chance.”
We’re standing much closer than we have ever before, excluding at the waterfall. All the tension from the past is replaced by something else.
“I knew you were
trouble, Dexter Falco, but I didn’t know you were a cheater.”
He laughs quietly, tongue running over that piercing. I’d known the first three weren’t him. He was the only one with a guaranteed tell. The ring.
“I’ve had to learn to share a lot of things with the guys since they moved in. My toothpaste. My socks. Even my coffee.” He brushes my hair behind my ear. “I can share you too, if that’s what you want, but our first kiss? That’s going to be all you and me.”
My heart thuds in my chest and it’s a good thing his arm has slipped around my waist or I’d probably be in a puddle on the floor. His actions are deliberate, slow, similar to the way he does everything else. It’s what kept me off kilter for weeks but now I relish the moment, knowing that when he’s ready to make his move, it’ll be worth it.
He repeats his journey from earlier today, starting with my jaw, then my temple and forehead. Under the star-strewn sky, his breath mingles with mine, both minty, and when he finally kisses me it’s not the sweet, chaste peck; it’s much, much deadlier.
The pace is slow, sensual, his lips strong. His thumb presses into my hip at the same time his tongue slips between my lips. In reaction, my whole body crackles like it’s on fire, and I push my hands through his hair, tugging on the short fringe at the back of his neck.
The front porch light turns off and we break apart, breathing heavy.
“It’s just Leelee,” I explain, “going to bed.”
He nods and licks his lip. “You should go, too.”
I’m exhausted, even though I feel like I’m flying.
“Thanks for today,” I say before heading to the window.
“You deserve a million days like today, Starlee.”
He helps me back into the window, giving me a little boost. When I’m back in the room I bend over and kiss him once more before shutting the window. I watch as he climbs the fence, not quite as easily as Jake, but still making it over quickly. I head straight to bed, with the feeling of his mouth on mine, the memories of the day flooding my brain, thinking that maybe he’s right. Maybe I do deserve more days like this.
18
As if the weather knows the peak of summer is here, the days start to warm considerably leading up to the Fourth. That doesn’t stop me from snuggling into Jake’s arms the next morning on the rock. I sit between his legs, pulled tight against his chest and read our book aloud. My finger skims under the sentence and we talk over words, analyzing the book as we go. Jake isn’t dumb. Not in the least. The years of skipping him ahead for athletic purposes has finally caught up to him, and I’ll do whatever I can to help him fill the gaps.
Midway through my reading, I feel the warm heat of his lips on my neck. My words come out in a stutter and I stop completely.
“Why’d you stop?” he asks, breath close to my ear.
“Uh,” I’m at a loss for words.
“Do you know it’s all I’ve thought about since yesterday. Being alone with you. Wanting to kiss you again.”
Dexter’s face outside my window flashes in my mind. George’s lazy smile. Charlie’s bashful gaze. I find the courage to admit, “I want to kiss you again, too, but I need you to know I won’t pick between you guys.”
His face glows rose gold from the sunrise. His lips are perfect, as are his cheekbones and every other inch of his body. “I don’t want you to. And I won’t judge you if you want to kiss them too.”
“Really?”
He shrugs, but there’s not an ounce of worry on his face, and that’s when I decide I want to kiss him more than anything else, so I do.
And I have zero regrets.
My mother must have called Leelee after our phone call and mentioned Katie riding to June Lake with me for supplies, because we’re called into the main office, given a list, money, the car, and sent on our way.
“I’m not going to complain,” Katie says, pushing the cart down the aisle. “I didn’t want to clean rooms today, anyway.”
“Glad I got you out of it, then.”
“Are you excited about the festival?”
“I don’t know much about it other than Leelee told me it’ll be very busy.”
“Oh yeah, one of our busiest weeks for sure.” She leans over the handle of the cart. “So how did the hike go yesterday?”
I focus on getting the right brand of shampoo, hoping she doesn’t see the red in my cheeks. “Good. Thank you for the bathing suit. I’ll get it back to you later today.”
“Eh, keep it. You never know when you’ll need one again.”
I doubt that’s true but I smile and select a bottle off the shelf and toss it in. We cruise down to the next row. I want to tell Katie—well, someone—about kissing the boys. About Dexter coming to my window. About Jake on the boulder. At the same time, it all feels like information that I want to keep to myself—hold tight against my chest. If someone knows, my mother could find out…and if she does…
But how? How would she find out? She’s dropped me out here in the middle of freaking nowhere. Why am I still afraid of her stupid rules? I glance at Katie and say, “How awful would it be if I said I kissed them?”
The cart stops abruptly and her eyes bug out. “All of them?”
“All of them.”
I nod and fight the smile spreading across my lips.
Her eyebrows furrow. “They didn’t take advantage of you, did they?”
“No!” I shout then cover my mouth, realizing we’re inside. “No. It was my idea. I’d never been kissed before and I thought one of them would be perfect.”
“And how do you choose between the Wayward Sons, right?” Katie gets it.
“Exactly.” I grab two packages of bacon out of the refrigerator.
“So who kissed best? No. Wait. Let me guess.” She thinks for a moment. “I’m going with Charlie or Dexter.”
“Why?”
“Charlie’s quiet. You just never know about those guys, and Dexter? He’s broody and intense.”
“Well, I don’t even know. I was blindfolded.”
“Blindfolded?” A wicked grin spreads across her lips. “Kinky.”
My neck heats. “What? No. It wasn’t like that.” I head down the baking row and pick up a new package of sugar. “It was sweet.” She raises a skeptical eyebrow. “Fine. And hot.”
“Yeah, no way those guys don’t know their way around a kiss.” She sighs. “If I was only five years younger.”
“That’s not that much older,” I say.
“Eh, I don’t go younger. Been-there-done-that.”
We finish the list and pay for the groceries. Katie pushes the cart out to the car and I pop the trunk. After we finish loading, I take the cart over to the corral and spot someone coming out of the store. My chest seizes and I look away, then back again to be sure. Same dirty hair. Same old backpack. Dugan. Why is he still around here? Why hasn’t he moved on?
The cart I’m pushing gets loose and bangs into the others, making a loud crash. Dugan looks up at the sound and our eyes meet. I’m not scared he’ll do anything to me out here, but I’m not sure how angry he is about the fight with Dexter. We haven’t had an update from the police. He looks like he’s about to say something so I turn and run, not wanting anything to do with him.
“Come on,” I say to Katie, who’s arranging things in the trunk. I rush past her and hop in the car, turning on the ignition.
“What’s the rush,” she says, sliding into her seat.
“We just need to get back.” I glance in the rearview mirror. There’s no doubt he’s recognized me and I feel his eyes on me all the way out the parking lot.
Later that afternoon, I find time to slip over to the Wayward Sun. I ask Sierra if Dexter is around. She points to the kitchen and shouts his name. He appears a few moments later, covered in flour. I look behind him and see a dozen pie pans stretch out on the stainless-steel work space. I also see all the guys back there helping with the production. They look adorable in their matching T-shirts and aprons.
> “Hey,” he says, when he realizes I’m here to see him.
“What’s all that?” I ask.
He grimaces. “We have a huge pie sale during the festival. Just getting everything prepped.”
“Oh, well let me know if you need any help. I’m excellent at following instructions.”
He smiles. “Good to know.”
I hate the idea of making that smile falter but I take a deep breath and say, “Can we talk for a minute?”
“Sure,” he looks over his shoulder and then at the front door. “Let’s go on the porch.”
I lead the way and when we get outside, he says, “Is everything okay?”
I know he’s wondering about last night. Did he go too far. I see it on his expression. I cut to the chase. “I was down in June Lake at the store. I saw Dugan in the parking lot.”
His jaw tics. “Did he say anything to you? Did he approach you?”
“No.”
He exhales. “Good.”
“Did you know he’s still around?”
“Not specifically, but I’m not surprised.”
“Have you heard anything from the sheriff?”
There’s a flicker in his eyes, something I don’t quite catch. “You haven’t?”
“No,” I reply. My stomach knots. “Should I have?”
“There’s a hearing in a few weeks. A probation hearing.”
“For you?”
“He didn’t press charges and neither did the sheriff, but just the simple fact I was in a fight is a violation of my probation. I have to go in front of the judge about it.”
“What for? What does that mean?”
He leans against the house. “I was at the end of my two-year term and just needed the final sign off by the judge, but now that there’s a violation they’ll look at everything again. They could add on time.”
“So more probation.”
Again, the dark flicker. “Yeah, no more than a year.”
“I guess it could be worse.” He says nothing but chews on his lip. “If you need me, you let me know, okay?”