by Paige Toon
‘Nick sent our track over late last night if you want to hear it?’ he asks, looking at me.
My eyes light up. ‘I’d love to!’
We go upstairs to the studio straight after breakfast.
‘How’s this week at school been?’ he asks, pushing the door shut behind me.
‘Good,’ I reply with a nod. ‘Everyone’s really friendly.’ I sense his unspoken question so don’t make him vocalise it. ‘I haven’t seen much of Sienna,’ I tell him.
He looks relieved. I imagine he’s hoping it was a flash-in-the-pan friendship – one that lasted only a night. I wonder if he’s mentioned it to Meg. I don’t want her to be upset.
‘Hey, how did your interview go?’ he remembers to ask, as he pulls up a chair and pushes one towards me. He worked late at the studio downtown last night so I didn’t see him.
‘Fine,’ I reply. He sits with his hands clasped between his knees, listening intently as I fill him in on some of the things we were asked. I avoid talking about Eve.
‘You’re going to get more requests, but make sure you run them past me before agreeing to anything.’
I frown at him. ‘Sure, that’s fine if they come through your publicist, but I can’t control what comes directly to the guys.’
‘You can ask them not to agree to anything until you’ve checked with me,’ he says, and it’s not a request, it’s a demand.
‘Why?’ I ask, bristling.
‘Jack, Brandon and Miles are eighteen. But you’re sixteen and I’m responsible for you. I’m not going to let you walk into anything unless I’m sure about it. OK?’
If Stu spoke to me like that, I’d feel patronised and pissed off, but right now Johnny’s words have the opposite effect. It’s still so strange to have a cool, connected dad whom I respect and who actually cares about me.
Chances are my bandmates won’t appreciate him interfering, but I’ll have to convince them that it’s for the good of us all.
So I nod in compliance. Satisfied with that response, he gets on with what we came in here for: to play ‘Acorn’, our track.
I’m on the edge of my seat as Johnny’s electric guitar comes in first, then a laid-back drumbeat follows and, soon after, his vocals. My head prickles as the room is filled with his deep, soulful voice, and then my own voice comes in and the prickling rushes all over my body. Oh my God. I can’t believe that’s me. I stare at Johnny in shock. He’s avidly watching my reaction, a small smile on his lips. I press my hands to my face as a blush spreads across my cheeks. I have goosebumps all over. I look down at my arms and can actually see the hairs standing up on end.
‘Me too,’ he says, showing me his arm.
I let out a laugh, but stop abruptly. I want to focus on listening to the rest of the song.
As soon as it’s finished, I jump up, unable to keep still.
He laughs and gets to his feet, too, wrapping his arms round me and giving me a brief kiss on top of my head.
‘You like it?’ he asks.
‘It’s amazing,’ I whisper, staring up at him.
‘I’m glad.’
There’s so much warmth in his gaze. Tiny bubbles of happiness are popping inside my stomach, as though someone has shaken a can of Coke and opened it in there. ‘When can I show my friends?’ I ask.
‘This is the only copy,’ he replies, taking a CD out of the player. ‘And it cannot, under any circumstances, leave this room. The album is embargoed by the record company, so no one’s supposed to hear it until nearer release and only then under strict regulations. But, if your lads are coming over anytime, you can play it to them.’
‘Thank you!’ I can’t wait.
I listen to the song three more times before leaving the studio, and then I’m on such a high that I don’t know what to do with myself. I’ve told Barney I’ll play with him, but he’s is in the pool with Meg and Phee, judging by the squealing and splashing noises carrying up the stairs from the open living room doors. I suddenly remember that I promised to call Tom. I emailed him earlier in the week and we agreed to touch base today. Annie doesn’t work on the weekends so I have the office to myself. I pull up a soft, padded black chair on wheels and dial his number, feeling odd when I realise that I know it by heart.
‘Hello?’
My heart clenches a little at the sound of his familiar voice.
‘It’s Jessie,’ I reply. ‘Are you OK to talk?’
‘Sure.’
‘Cool.’ I settle back in the chair and put my feet up on the desk. ‘So what are you up to? How was America?’
He starts to tell me about the week with his dad. It was the first time he’d met Riley, his dad’s girlfriend – the woman his dad left his mum, sister and him for.
‘What was she like?’ I ask.
‘Young.’ He sounds on edge. ‘She didn’t seem that much older than me. She’s really pretty, and really over-the-top friendly. She was trying so hard. I reckon I could’ve asked her to drive me to New York and she would’ve jumped at the chance.’
‘Was she nice?’
‘Yeah. I mean, I don’t know how much of it is false, but she seemed pretty desperate for me to like her. I don’t think she’s going away anytime soon.’ He pauses. ‘Do you know, this is the first time I’ve been able to talk properly. Mum has been driving me insane with her questions.’
‘It must be so hard for her,’ I say.
‘Yeah, it is. It’s bad enough for me, seeing my dad kissing another woman. I hated it. I was so angry when I first went there, but after a few days I realised that I needed to chill out if I still wanted him in my life. And I do.’
‘When will you see him again?’ I ask.
‘I’m not sure. He really wants Becky to go with me next time, but I don’t think she will. She’s finding it a lot harder to forgive and forget.’ Becky is his older sister by three years.
We chat for ages about school, his trip and our mutual friends. He’s blown away when I tell him about the track Johnny and I have recorded, and in the end I take the phone with me up to the studio and play it to him. I’m astonished when I check the time and realise we’ve been on the phone for over an hour.
‘Yeah, I’d better go, actually,’ he says. ‘Chris will be here in a minute to pick me up.’ They’re heading to the pub, and I suddenly feel sad that I can’t just hop in the car and go with him. I’ve missed talking to him. This conversation has felt like old times.
‘Hey, did you know your stepdad and my mum have been hanging out?’ he asks out of the blue.
‘No. Really?’
‘Yeah. They went to see a movie together the other night.’
‘Did they?’ I frown. ‘Well, I suppose they got to know each other when they were over here.’
‘Yeah, I get the feeling he’s been looking out for her. Mum was so upset when I said goodbye to her at the bus station in LA.’
‘Do you think they’re just friends?’ I ask warily.
‘Yeah, I think so. I dunno. Would it bother you if it was more?’
I swallow. ‘Yeah, it would,’ I admit quietly. ‘But I’d hate the idea of Stu moving on with anyone. The thought that my mum is replaceable…’ My voice trails off.
‘Hey, I’m sure it’s nothing,’ he says gently. ‘I’m sorry I brought it up.’
‘I miss you.’ As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I wish I could take them back.
There’s a long silence, and I’m about to wrap up our conversation and go bury my head in the sand, when he brings up the one subject that we’ve so far avoided.
‘So are you and Jack official yet?’
‘No. Not yet,’ I reply, shrinking into myself a little.
‘OK, Jessie, well, I’ve really got to go. Chat again soon?’
‘Yeah. I’d like that.’
I’d like it a lot more than I should, I realise, as we end our call.
Chapter 11
Jack is distracted when I turn up for band practice later that afternoon.
‘Will you go
check on Agnes?’ he asks, concern etching his brow. ‘I think she needs a friend right now.’
I find her in her bedroom, curled up into a ball on her bed. ‘Hey, you,’ I say gently, going to sit beside her. Her face is puffy and her eyes are red from crying. She’s clutching a sodden tissue and she breaks down again as soon as I place my hand on her back.
‘I can’t believe he’s gone,’ she sobs, shaking violently.
I hold her while she cries, my heart breaking for her.
Eventually she pulls herself together and assures me that she’s fine, that I should go join my band, but I’m reluctant to leave her.
‘Come to the games room with me,’ I urge. ‘We’ll take your mind off him. And maybe we could do something later? Go out for dinner or catch a movie or something? In fact, I’ve got spa vouchers that Johnny and Meg gave me for my birthday! Why don’t we plan a spa day?’
She smiles at me sadly. ‘Thank you for trying to cheer me up. A spa day sounds great, and a movie tonight, too. I’ll join you guys in a bit. Just let me sort out my face first.’
Brandon and Miles don’t really know how to handle a downhearted Agnes, but Jack’s concern for her is touching. He sets her up on the beanbags at the back of the games room with Diet Coke and snacks and keeps calling back to her as the afternoon spills into evening. She soon perks up.
We don’t make a whole lot of progress with our songwriting, though, and Brandon makes a point of reminding us that our next gig is fast approaching. He also plans to line something up here in LA, but Jack wants to make sure we have some new songs ready first.
After our last session, I’ve become braver at suggesting lyrics. I used to write lyrics in England, but I never showed them to anyone. Everything we’re doing now is new, though, and I love working as a team and batting ideas around. I’ve been toying with the keyboard Jack gave me for my birthday, but I haven’t brought it with me today. I start my lessons on Monday, straight after singing, so for the moment I’m just messing about with different sounds and melodies.
Finally we call it quits and grab drinks from the fridge.
‘Hey, I meant to tell you guys that I heard the track that I’m doing on Johnny’s album,’ I say casually.
‘When can we hear it?’ Jack asks with interest, so I explain about the embargo.
‘Maybe we could do band practice at mine sometime so I can play it to you?’ I suggest.
They all nod and agree, but I sense a lack of enthusiasm from Miles in particular. I hope I didn’t sound like I was boasting.
Miles is seeing a friend tonight, but Brandon is up for a movie, as is Jack.
‘Where’s Maisie?’ I ask from the back seat of Jack’s car, trying to stave off my disappointment that Brandon’s joining us. I can’t kiss Jack in front of Agnes, anyway, I rationalise. She doesn’t need me rubbing my love life in her face when she’s upset about Brett.
‘She’s away with her parents,’ Brandon replies, distractedly looking at his phone. ‘Hey, Lottie’s just texted me. Shall I see if she wants to join?’ He looks over his shoulder at Agnes.
‘Sure,’ Agnes replies with a nod.
Lottie, it turns out, has promised her dad that she’ll have dinner with him and her stepmother tonight, but she begs us to head to hers after the movie. We go for a burger first, followed by the ArcLight cinema in Hollywood. It’s a far cry from the multiplex in Maidenhead, with its cushy, reclining chairs, fancy snack bars and in-house cafe-bar.
I sit between Jack and Agnes in the film – a horror movie, which was Agnes’s choice – and, when all the lights go out, I’m in a state of edgy anticipation, knowing that Jack is so close, but I’m not allowed to touch him. Brandon is sitting on the other side of him, so we can’t even hold hands, but Jack rubs his knuckles against the side of my leg, and even that small contact makes my skin burn. At one point, when Brandon bends over to put his empty popcorn bucket on the floor, Jack leans across and whispers in my ear: ‘I hope you know how much this is killing me.’
His words make me shiver.
We head over to Lottie’s house afterwards, and I’m not at all surprised to see six cars parked up on her driveway. It’s typical of her to have impromptu gatherings.
‘How was dinner?’ I ask when she’s done squealing her hellos. She’s been drinking – that much is obvious.
‘Such a bore,’ she groans, rolling her eyes. ‘C wouldn’t shut up about this stupid show Mike’s just cast her in. She drives me insane.’
C stands for Colleen, her stepmum, and Lottie can’t bear her. In fact, her dad – the man she bizarrely refers to as Mike – now lets Lottie live in a log cabin in their enormous garden, rather than in the house. Even a huge mansion isn’t big enough when Lottie wants space, apparently. I don’t know a lot about what Colleen is like, but I do know that she’s not much older than Lottie. She’s also a budding actress, it seems. She certainly married the right man. Michael Tremway is a hotshot producer.
There are three fire pits flaming with warmth and I’m pleasantly surprised to see Gina and Margarita sitting around one of them, sipping cocktails.
‘Jessie!’ Gina cries, waving. I look over my shoulder to check Agnes is OK and spy her talking to a sympathetically nodding Lottie. I’m about to go and join Gina and Margarita, when I see Sienna exiting the log cabin.
‘Hey!’ she exclaims, as she catches sight of me. My heart lifts and then sinks. She seems genuinely pleased to see me, but I still feel uncomfortable as I give her a hug.
Jack joins us. ‘You wanna drink?’ he asks, resting his hand on my hip.
‘Yeah, thanks,’ I reply, smiling at him.
‘He is so hot,’ Sienna says dreamily, as he walks away. ‘Does he have a girlfriend?’
‘Er, yeah, I think he’s seeing someone,’ I reply, my stomach contracting unpleasantly.
She collapses into giggles and then tries to control herself by clapping her hand over her mouth. ‘The look on your face.’
‘What?’ I ask, frowning.
‘You think I didn’t see you guys sneaking into the bushes last weekend?’ she whispers with a mischievous smile. ‘I won’t tell a soul,’ she vows, suddenly serious, but a moment later she’s grinning again. ‘Why is it a secret?’
I narrow my eyes at her, but, a moment later, I’m reflecting her grin. Bugger it. I do like her. Sorry, Johnny. Her light-hearted teasing is reminding me of how much fun we had at the Kellys’ party.
I give her a brief lowdown on Jack and, by the time the guy in question returns with my drink, she’s pretty much up to date.
‘Thanks,’ I say, aware of Sienna’s gleeful expression as her eyes dart between us. Jack gives her an odd look and raises one eyebrow enquiringly at me. I shrug, smirking.
‘I think I’ll go chat to Morgan,’ he says drily, leaving us to it.
I turn back to Sienna. It’s time for an explanation on her part.
‘Why didn’t you tell me Dana Reed was your sister?’
She looks instantly uncomfortable, and then something seems to dawn on her. ‘So that’s why you’ve been avoiding me this week.’
I don’t even try to deny it.
‘I’m sorry,’ she says, flashing me a repentant look. ‘Maybe I should’ve said something, but she’s been the bane of my life ever since I was born. I didn’t want her ruining this for me, too.’ She indicates the two of us. ‘I like you. I wanted us to be friends. And I knew your dad would be against the idea after what went down between him and my sister.’
I feel a stab of pity for her. ‘Well, I want us to be friends, too.’
‘Are you two joining us or what?’ Margarita calls out.
‘Coming!’ Sienna replies. I follow her towards the group.
‘Hey, Jessie!’ I look across the flames to see Peter, one of Lottie’s Little Miss Mullholland co-stars, waving at me. Every time I see him now I’m reminded of when he was dressed like Fred from Scooby-Doo at Lottie’s Halloween party: all blond and buff. He looks better as the br
unette he really is, with his short dark hair, brown eyes and stubble. He plays Lottie’s character Macy’s long-lost brother in the show and all my friends back home fancy him. I met him last summer and he shared a few show secrets. He rises to give me a kiss on my cheek and I pull up a log seat next to him.
‘I didn’t get to talk to you on New Year’s Eve,’ I say warmly. ‘What’s the latest gossip?’
He sweetly obliges me with news of his upcoming storyline and I’m on the edge of my seat, listening to him. Eventually he turns the conversation around to me.
‘I hear it was your sixteenth birthday recently?’
I cock my head to one side. ‘You couldn’t come?’
‘I wasn’t invited,’ he replies with a shrug.
‘Why not?’ I’m aghast.
‘Don’t worry. You can’t invite everyone to these things.’
‘Maybe Agnes just stuck to schoolfriends,’ I muse. Peter doesn’t go to our school. ‘I’m sorry,’ I say, leaning in to give him a quick, apologetic hug. ‘I would’ve wanted you there if I’d known anything about it.’
‘Hey there!’ Gina calls for our attention. I look over to see her holding her phone aloft. ‘Smile!’
Peter throws his arm round me and pulls me close as we oblige.
While Gina adds filters to the shot, Margarita leans in to study the results. ‘Wow, you guys look awesome with the fire in the foreground. That’s a great shot.’
‘Let me get one of you three,’ I offer, nodding for Sienna to get into the frame, too.
Gina hands over her phone. Margarita and Gina are tiny and Sienna is tall, but, sitting next to each other, they’re the same height and they look so beautiful: Sienna with her dark eyebrows and piercing blue eyes, Gina with her green eyes and curly red hair framing her face, and Margarita with her caramel-coloured eyes and glossy black locks falling over her right shoulder. I try not to look fazed by them as I take the photo.
‘Straight to Instagram,’ Gina says with a smile after I return her phone.
I really do get such a thrill at the thought of people back home hearing about me hanging out with these famous people, especially the girls who were a bit mean to me at school. It’s exciting, going from being a nobody to a somebody. Maybe it’s naïve of me, because I hope I don’t get sick of it. I couldn’t hide from the spotlight, even if I wanted to. Not as Johnny Jefferson’s daughter.