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1,001 Facts that Will Scare the S#*t Out of You

Page 14

by Cary McNeal


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  412

  FACT : Smoking causes acute myeloid leukemia, as well as cancer in other areas of the body, including the bladder, mouth, larynx (voice box), cervix, kidneys, lungs, esophagus, pancreas, and stomach. Bladder cancer sounds like fun.

  “Fact Sheet—Health Effects of Cigarette Smoking,” Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Center for Chronic Disease Prevention and Health Promotion, Office on Smoking and Health, January 2008, www.cdc.gov.

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  413

  FACT : Smoking contributes to heart disease, the number one cause of death in the United States. Cigarette smokers quadruple their risk for developing coronary heart disease. I think it would be fun to put on a Grim Reaper costume and go stand in the corner of the smoking room at the airport. Just stand there. With my sickle.

  “Fact Sheet - Health Effects of Cigarette Smoking,” Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Center for Chronic Disease Prevention and Health Promotion, Office on Smoking and Health, January 2008, www.cdc.gov.

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  414

  FACT : Smoking cigarettes nearly doubles a person’s risk of having a stroke. And triples his risk of being asked, “Can I bum a cigarette?”

  “Fact Sheet - Health Effects of Cigarette Smoking,” Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Center for Chronic Disease Prevention and Health Promotion, Office on Smoking and Health, January 2008, www.cdc.gov.

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  415

  FACT : Smoking can cause abdominal aortic aneurysm, when a bulge forms in the wall of the aorta near the stomach. About 15,000 Americans die of an abdominal aortic aneurysm each year, making it the thirteenth leading cause of death in the country. If you think “abdominal aortic aneurysm” is hard to say, try having one.

  Larry A. Weinrauch, “Abdominal aortic aneurysm,” Medline Plus, U.S. National Library of Medicine and the National Institutes of Health, August 28, 2008, www.nlm.nih.gov.

  “Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm,” MedicineNet.com, www.medicinenet.com.

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  416

  FACT : Women who smoke increase their risk for infertility, stillbirth, preterm delivery, low birth weight, and sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). Some pregnant women wouldn’t object to preterm delivery.

  “The Health Consequences of Involuntary Exposure to Tobacco Smoke: A Report of the Surgeon General,” U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Center for Chronic Disease Prevention and Health Promotion, Office on Smoking and Health, 2006, www.surgeongeneral.gov.

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  417

  FACT : About 18 percent of women aged fifteen to forty-four smoke cigarettes while pregnant. You’d think a fifteen-year-old pregnant girl would have better judgment.

  “The Health Consequences of Involuntary Exposure to Tobacco Smoke: A Report of the Surgeon General,” U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Center for Chronic Disease Prevention and Health Promotion, Office on Smoking and Health, 2006, www.surgeongeneral.gov.

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  418

  FACT : Almost one in five adult American women smoke cigarettes, including: 20.7 percent of eighteen-to twenty-four-year-olds, 21.4 percent of twenty-five- to forty-four-year-olds, 18.8 percent of forty-five- to sixty-four-year-olds, and 8.3 percent of women sixty-five years or older smoke. The sixty-five+ statistic is a bit misleading, however, because most long-term smokers are already dead by then.

  “The Health Consequences of Involuntary Exposure to Tobacco Smoke: A Report of the Surgeon General,” U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Center for Chronic Disease Prevention and Health Promotion, Office on Smoking and Health, 2006, www.surgeongeneral.gov.

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  419

  FACT : Cigarette smoking is most prevalent among American Indian or Alaska Native women. So if you’re in a crowded bar and need to bum a smoke, look for the gal in a feather headdress or a parka.

  “The Health Consequences of Involuntary Exposure to Tobacco Smoke: A Report of the Surgeon General,” U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Center for Chronic Disease Prevention and Health Promotion, Office on Smoking and Health, 2006, www.surgeongeneral.gov.

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  420

  FACT : Among women, cigarette use correlates with level of education. Smoking estimates are highest for women without traditional high-school diplomas and lowest for women with college degrees. Shocking, I know.

  “The Health Consequences of Involuntary Exposure to Tobacco Smoke: A Report of the Surgeon General,” U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Center for Chronic Disease Prevention and Health Promotion, Office on Smoking and Health, 2006, www.surgeongeneral.gov.

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  421

  FACT : Smoking is more prevalent among women who live below the poverty level than women living at or above it. Hey, they gotta do something while they’re filling out lottery tickets.

  “The Health Consequences of Involuntary Exposure to Tobacco Smoke: A Report of the Surgeon General,” U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Center for Chronic Disease Prevention and Health Promotion, Office on Smoking and Health, 2006, www.surgeongeneral.gov.

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  422

  FACT : Exposure to secondhand smoke causes disease and premature death in those who don’t smoke, as cigarette smoke contains hundreds toxic or carcinogenic chemicals like formaldehyde, arsenic, ammonia, and hydrogen cyanide. Seems like the formaldehyde would keep you preserved a few extra years.

  “The Health Consequences of Involuntary Exposure to Tobacco Smoke: A Report of the Surgeon General,” U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Center for Chronic Disease Prevention and Health Promotion, Office on Smoking and Health, 2006, www.surgeongeneral.gov.

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  423

  FACT : Exposure to secondhand smoke can produce immediate adverse effects on the cardiovascular system, interfering with the way the heart, blood, and vascular systems normally function, and increasing the risk of a heart attack. Yes, but secondhand smokers get to smoke for free! Think of all the money they’re saving.

  “The Health Consequences of Involuntary Exposure to Tobacco Smoke: A Report of the Surgeon General,” U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Center for Chronic Disease Prevention and Health Promotion, Office on Smoking and Health, 2006, www.surgeongeneral.gov.

  FACT : Nonsmokers exposed to secondhand smoke at home or in the workplace face a 30 percent increase in their risk of developing heart disease or lung cancer. ”Secondhand” is a bit pejorative. “Pre-owned” would be a nice way to say the same thing.

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  424

  “The Health Consequences of Involuntary Exposure to Tobacco Smoke: A Report of the Surgeon General,” U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Center for Chronic Disease Prevention and Health Promotion, Office on Smoking and Health, 2006, www.surgeongeneral.gov.

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  425

  FACT : About 60 percent of American children aged three to eleven years— nearly 22 million youth—are exposed to secondhand smoke. Hey, nobody told them to inhale.

  “The Health Consequences of Involuntary Exposure to Tobacco Smoke: A Report of the Surgeon General,” U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Center for Chronic Disease Prevention and Health Promotion, Office on Smoking and Health, 2006, www.surgeongeneral.gov.

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  426

  FACT : Recent national surveys show that more than half of the American adult population drank
in the past month, while 5 percent drank heavily (two drinks per day on average for men or one drink per day or more for women) and 15 percent of the population binge drank (five drinks or greater in one night for men or four or greater for women). Three days of consecutive binge drinking is defined as a “bender.”

  “Alcohol and Public Health,”

  Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Division of Adult and Community Health, National Center for Chronic Disease Prevention and Health Promotion, September 3, 2008, www.cdc.gov.

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  427

  FACT : Long-term excessive alcohol use can lead to cancer of the mouth, throat, esophagus, liver, colon, and breast; dementia; stroke; neuropathy; myocardial infarction; cardiomyopathy; atrial fibrillation; hypertension; depression; anxiety; suicide; unemployment; lost productivity; and family crisis. Is that all? So what’s the big deal?

  “Alcohol and Public Health,” Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Division of Adult and Community Health, National Center for Chronic Disease Prevention and Health Promotion, September 3, 2008, www.cdc.gov.

  “Quick Stats: General Information on Alcohol Use and Health,” Centers for Disease Control, Division of Adult and Community Health, National Center for Chronic Disease Prevention and Health Promotion, August 6, 2008, www.cdc.gov.

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  428

  FACT : From 2001 to 2005, about 79,000 deaths occurred each year from excessive use of alcohol (heavy and/or binge drinking), the third most prevalent lifestyle-related cause of death each year in the United States. The good news: whenever a heavy drinker dies, there’s always someone willing to step in and pick up his slack.

  “Alcohol and Public Health,” Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Division of Adult and Community Health, National Center for Chronic Disease Prevention and Health Promotion, September 3, 2008, www.cdc.gov.

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  429

  FACT : Excessive alcohol use, either as heavy drinking or binge drinking, can result in increased health problems, like liver disease, psychological disorders, unintentional injuries, and more. Death is another increased health problem caused by heavy drinking.

  “Alcohol-Attributable Deaths Report, Average for United States 2001–2005,” Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Center for Chronic Disease Prevention and Health Promotion, https://apps.nccd .cdc.gov.

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  430

  FACT : More than half of alcohol-attributed deaths from 2001 to 2005 were from acute causes, including motor vehicle accidents (almost 14,000 deaths), homicide (7,787), suicides (7,235), and injuries from falls (5,532). Alcohol-related injuries and deaths are often preceded by someone yelling, “Hey, everybody, watch this!”

  “Alcohol-Attributable Deaths Report, Average for United States 2001–2005,” Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Center for Chronic Disease Prevention and Health Promotion, www.cdc.gov.

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  431

  FACT : From 1995 to 2002, new heroin users ranged from 121,000 to 164,000 each year, most of them males over eighteen. The late ’90s were hard on everyone.

  “Research Report Series—Heroin Abuse and Addiction,” National Institute on Drug Abuse, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, July 22, 2008, www.nida.nih.gov.

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  432

  FACT : The National Survey on Drug Use and Health in 2003 estimated that 3.7 million people had used heroin at some point in their lifetime, 314,000 used it in the year leading up to the survey, and 119,000 used it within a month. Not me, though.

  I’m working, and it’s hard enough sober.

  “Research Report Series— Heroin Abuse and Addiction,” National Institute on Drug Abuse, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, July 22, 2008, www.nida.nih.gov.

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  433

  FACT : The National Institute on Drug Abuse’s Community Epidemiology Work Group (CEWG) reported heroin as the primary drug of abuse for those seeking treatment admissions in Boston, Baltimore, Los Angeles, Detroit, Newark, New York, and San Francisco in December 2003. If you lived in Detroit or Newark, you’d shoot up, too.

  “Research Report Series— Heroin Abuse and Addiction,” National Institute on Drug Abuse, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, July 22, 2008, www.nida.nih.gov.

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  434

  FACT : Heroin withdrawal symptoms include muscle and bone pain, restlessness, insomnia, vomiting, diarrhea, cold flashes with goose bumps (hence the term, “cold turkey”), and involuntary leg movements. That’s nine good reasons not to stop.

  “Research Report Series— Heroin Abuse and Addiction,” National Institute on Drug Abuse, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, July 22, 2008, www.nida.nih.gov.

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  435

  FACT : Withdrawal symptoms from heroin peak twenty-four to forty-eight hours after last use and usually subside within about a week, though some users endure them for many months. The involuntary leg movements include kicking yourself repeatedly in the ass for ever trying the drug in the first place. But involuntarily.

  “Research Report Series— Heroin Abuse and Addiction,” National Institute on Drug Abuse, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, July 22, 2008, www.nida.nih.gov.

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  436

  FACT : A 2007 survey found that among young adults eighteen to twenty-five, the nonmedical use of prescription pain killers increased sharply (12 percent) from the previous year. “Nonmedical” sounds like they used pills as slingshot ammo or something, but that’s not what it means. In case you were wondering.

  “New National Survey Reveals Cocaine, Methamphet-amine Use Drop among Young Adults; Prescription Drug Abuse Increases,” News Release, Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, September 4, 2008, www.oas.samhsa.gov.

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  437

  FACT : The same survey found that levels of illicit drug use among the fifty-five- to fifty-nine-year-old set more than doubled over the previous year, confirming concerns that baby boomers have continued to use as they age. This just in: getting old sucks. Grandma needs something to ease the pain.

  “New National Survey Reveals Cocaine, Methamphet-amine Use Drop among Young Adults; Prescription Drug Abuse Increases,” News Release, Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, September 4, 2008, www.oas.samhsa.gov.

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  438

  FACT : Caffeine is more addictive than marijuana. But you can drink coffee in your office without turning off the lights and putting on “Dark Side Of The Moon.”

  “The Most Addictive Drugs,” Teen Drug Rehab Treatment Centers—Alcohol and Drug Rehabs for Young Adults— Addiction Treatment, www.drugrehabtreatment.com.

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  439

  FACT : Excessive caffeine intake can lead to nausea, heartburn, vomiting, increased heart rate, dehydration, depression, anxiety, difficulty sleeping, and tremors. Child’s play compared to the symptoms that lack of caffeine intake can cause.

  “The Most Addictive Drugs,”

  Teen Drug Rehab Treatment Centers—Alcohol and Drug Rehabs for Young Adults— Addiction Treatment, www.drugrehabtreatment.com.

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  440

  FACT : In severe cases, caffeine overdose can result in death from convulsions or an irregular heartbeat. Caffeine underdose—i.e., not getting your morning coffee—has similar results: anxiety, depression, convulsions. It can also result in a swift and severe death to anyone who pisses you off.

  “Quick Facts: Caffeine,” CNN Food Central, www.cnn.com.

  David Zieve, Greg Juhn, and David R. Eltz, “Caffeine Overdose,” Medline Plus, U.S. National Library of Medicine and the National Institutes of Health, January 23, 2008, www.nlm.nih.gov.

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  441

  FACT : Marijuana was the most used illicit drug in the United States, with 14.4 million users in the past month, according to the 2007 Nati
onal Household Survey on Drug Use and Health. And that was just at the Phish concert.

 

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