Damned

by Bec Botefuhr

  “I see you have been teaching my men that nasty song.”

  “It’s not naaaasty.”

  “It’s very nasty.”

  “They love it, don’t ya boys. YO HO!”

  They all laugh and start singing again, Jax groans. “You need to lie down darlin, your head is going to explode.”

  I slide down until I am lying on his lap; he seems shocked for a moment but finally puts his hands on my head and begins stroking my hair. I grin up at him, and he smiles back, there we go, even the old pirate could be tamed.

  “You’re not so bad Watts.” I mumble, closing my eyes. After a few moments, I am drifting into oblivion.

  “Looks like your little mates out Cap.” Rusty says, obviously assuming I am asleep. I decide not to correct him; I want to hear what he has to say.

  “She’s asleep?”

  “Yep.”

  “I should wake her, send her home.”

  “Leave her a while.”

  “You lot like her, don’t you?” Jax asks, his voice sounds strained.

  “Mate, she’s a beauty that girl. Not often we men enjoy a woman’s company the way we enjoy hers. She’s a treasure.”

  Jax sighs, his warm breath trails down over my ear. “She is a good one.”

  “What is going on with you and her Cap, you are treading on dangerous grounds.”

  “It’s just a fling.”

  Ouch.

  “You have had many flings, none of them could ever lie on your lap and cuddle up to you the way she does. You’re falling for her, aren’t you?”

  “No,” Jax snaps. “I just enjoy her company she is different. We have an agreement; she knows I don’t do love.”

  “And you believe she doesn’t love you, even though she knows you will refuse her?”

  “She doesn’t love me, we just hang out and…whatever else.”

  “Good god Cap are you blind? She is head over heels for you.”

  “No Rust, she is not.”

  “Yeah mate, she is.”

  “Why would you think that?”

  “It radiates off her, she adores you Cap. Be very god damn careful, she is not a normal girl. If you go there, you go there good because if she involves herself with you, you would wanna run fast and quick because if her family find out…”

  “It’s a fling Rust. Nothing more.”

  “Does she know that?”

  “Yeah.”

  “So you’re just going to end and it leave, with nothing?”

  “Yep.”

  “God Cap, wake up to yourself and admit you care about her.”

  “I do as a friend.”

  “Bullshit!” Rusty snaps. “I have seen you with many girls, including your wife, and none you treated how you treat her.”

  “I don’t love her Rusty.”

  Rusty sighs and I think I hear him stand. “I hope you know what you are doing because I can tell you now Cap, you let a girl like that go, and you will NEVER find another one again. Be sure you know what you want, you only get one chance.”

  It is silent then; I lay for ten minutes or so, then stir and blink up at Jax. He is staring into the darkness.

  “I should go.” I mumble, sitting.

  “Yeah.”

  “Thanks for err, tonight.”

  “Yep, have a good one.”

  I stare at him, but he won’t even meet my eyes. I trudge off and out the door, devastated and sick of games. I am nearly to the fence when my body is slammed to the ground. I can’t see a damn but I can feel the hand that covers my mouth. I know by the size alone, that it is a man.

  “Let me go.” I scream, biting down on his finger. He rears his hand back and slaps me so hard my lip split’s.

  “Shut it or I will stab you.” He hisses, pressing a knife to my throat. I freeze.

  “Please!”

  “It will only take a second.” He breathes, his breath smells like rum.

  He tears my dress and panties, then forces my legs apart. I scream and squirm but the knife slices into my skin each time I do. In a split second he is being torn off me, and I am being crushed into a warm, hard chest.

  “It’s ok sweetheart, we got you.”

  It’s Jack; I sigh and clutch onto his shirt, then see Jax is the one who had pulled the man from me. They are on the ground, fighting. The stranger drives a hard fist into Jax’s mouth sending him flying backwards. I yelp, but Jax seems unfazed, he leaps up, kicking the man hard between the legs and then pounds a fist into his nose. I hear the loud crack as the man falls back onto the floor. Jax stands over him, holding something. I realize suddenly; it is a gun.

  “JAX,” I cry. “No.”

  “He tried to rape you, for that he dies.” He roars glancing at me and once again I am sure his eyes are red.

  “Please don’t kill him, it’s wrong.”

  “I am a pirate princess, it is about time you learnt that.” He hisses, then pulls the trigger. The bullet flies through the man’s head, and his body falls still.

  I am screaming; Jack spins me around and presses my head to his chest. I tremble, clutching his shirt. Jax takes hold of my arm and spins me around.

  “Are you hurt?”

  “Yeah, I am hurt. You shot him, dead.”

  “He was a filthy, raping scumbag. What did you propose I do?”

  “Call the police.”

  He laughs, actually laughs. “I am a pirate, we don’t do police. And that man deserved nothing less than what he got.”

  “He could have had a family.”

  “Yeah, how delightful for them to know he was out raping women.”

  “I…I….need to go.”

  “If you cannot handle me, why come back?” Jax yells at my back as I run towards the fence.

  “Because, because…” I turn to face him. “Because I thought you were different.”

  “I told you what I was, I told you. Did you think I was lying? I was honest with you Jade; it was you that obviously didn’t believe it.”

  He is right; he had been honest. I rush through the gate and slam it, devastated. I hear him roar and slam his fist against the gate, but I don’t turn back. I hurry quietly to my room, close the door and then I fall to my knees and cry. I know exactly what he is but for some reason, with his lifestyle; it hadn’t fully registered until tonight. He is a pirate, and that isn’t some fairytale character, it is real, he is real. He is dangerous, deadly, and I am madly in love with him.

  CHAPTER 6

  I hide for two days; there is not much point in flaring the argument further. Besides, I’m not even sure Jax ever wants to see me again. I try to pretend that doesn’t bother me, but I know damn well it does. I attend three parades and four meetings in those few days, announcing our wedding in a week’s time. James spends days telling me how I would have to learn to abide by his rules when we are married. Why do I get the feeling that I will become controlled extremely quickly? He and my father have a ridiculously close bond that will cause significant issues for me. My phone rings late on the third afternoon, glancing down I see it is Jax. Should I ignore it? I couldn’t, even if I wanted to.

  “Hello.”

  “Jade, I want you to come round tonight.”

  No hello? Sorry? Nothing?

  “Oh, I don’t think that’s a good idea after the other night and…”

  “I don’t want to fuck you,” He snaps. “I want to show you something.”

  “Oh, right. What do you want to show me?”

  “Just come around.”

  “I will be there soon.”

  He hangs up without even a goodbye. Wow, he is still mad. I probably deserve it. I dress in a pair of short shorts and a singlet top, then sneak out of the gate. It’s quite a nasty feeling, knowing my parents still have not noticed or even questioned my constant disappearance. I make it to the pub, and the afternoon session is just raring up. I walk in, then out the back to find Jax sitting with Rusty. My heart flutters. Shaking my head, I calm myself.

  �
�Hey.”

  Jax looks up, glares at me and then simply nods. Rusty smiles.

  “Hi lass, how are you?”

  “Magic.”

  “I will leave you to it, it’s good to see you.” Rusty says, touching my shoulder. When he leaves, I turn to Jax.

  “Well?”

  He stands, grasps his keys then takes my arm harshly and yanks me towards the door.

  “Ow Jax, stop it.” I snap, snatching my arm from his grips.

  “Just move then.”

  “Where are we going?”

  “You will see.”

  He takes me out the back and leads me to a car; I hesitate.

  “Get in.”

  “Really?” I mutter. “You want me to get in a car with a man who cannot even look me in the eye, let alone speak to me like a human being?”

  He comes around the car and grips my arm harshly. His green eyes are furious. “You get in that fucking car Jade because it is time you faced reality. Wanna fuck a pirate and expect he isn’t what you know is damn well true? Doesn’t happen that way.”

  “I know what you are,” I protest. “I just wasn’t prepared for the other night.”

  “Whatever Jade, just get in the car.”

  “No,” I say, standing my ground. “Not when you’re doing this. Start speaking to me like a human being, and I will get in.”

  His jaw ticks and he begins breathing deeply, as if to calm himself. “Fine, I won’t snap. Just get in.”

  I nod, then slide in the car where we proceed to drive, not speaking to one another. We pull up at what seems to be an entrance to a beach, though it is surrounded by thick, nasty jungle. Grateful to be out of the castle walls, I don’t complain. I could pick the leeches off later.

  “Where are we?” I ask.

  “Just come, you will see.”

  He leads me down a thick, overgrown track. I try hard not to groan and complain; I know it will not go down well right now. He isn’t snapping at me, but he certainly isn’t having a chatty conversation with me either. We come into a clearing; I gasp. It’s a small cove, hidden completely by the world. I would have never seen the track, let alone walked down it. Now however, I wished I knew of such a place. Blue water, white sand, stunning thick trees. It is gorgeous.

  “Look left.” He orders and I turn.

  I blink once, then twice. No, it couldn’t be? I open my mouth, then close it and step forward, squinting. There, sitting in a cave of dark rocks, is a pirate ship. A small, disbelieving noise leaves my mouth. It couldn’t be real? Could it? It is huge, even bigger than I could have ever imagined. It is a dark, rich pine colour with beautiful cream sails. A mermaid soars off the front, just like in the movies.

  “It’s…it’s…”

  “My ship.”

  “Lady Amber.” I whisper.

  “Come on, it’s time you found out about my life.”

  He takes my hand, not so harshly now and leads me to the ship. Up close, it is even bigger than I first thought. He tells me to wait, as he moves it out of the cave and onto the water, then he lowers a ladder and ushers me on.

  “Wanna go for a ride?” He finally cracks a grin. There we go.

  “Do I.” I squeal and climb on.

  I can’t believe my eyes, truly; I know that is a lame statement, but it seems the only thing that fit’s right now. The deck is enormous; chains and ropes lay about and holes for cannons line the sides. At the front, two steps up, is a wheel; a real old fashioned wheel. I squeal again, which I know I will later regret and rush over to it.

  “Can I?”

  Jax grins. “Sure, don’t crash her though, it’s my baby. Straight out.”

  He sets the sails and the ship lurches forward, I steer it a little to the left, then to the right to get it out of the cove. Soon we are out on the calm, flat ocean. Jax comes up behind me and removes my hands from the wheel.

  “Want to see the rest?”

  “Please.”

  First, he shows me the Captains room at the back of the ship. It is beautiful, with windows surrounding one side, so every day, he can wake to see nothing but ocean. The front is covered in, privacy of course. The room is large, in it lies a huge king sized bed, a toilet and shower, a desk, navigation maps and along one side, a huge row of book shelves.

  “Oh…wow.”

  “This is my room.”

  “All yours?”

  “All mine. Does that shock you princess?”

  “I thought it would be small and cruddy.”

  He laughs. “Come on.”

  He leads me down below deck, which holds one large hall. Off the sides are single rooms, a kitchen and a large dining room. Down on the lowest deck, is a storage area; with huge cannons, guns, swords and of course…rum. It also holds a line of cells. I shiver.

  “There isn’t any dead rotting corpses in there, right?”

  He strokes my cheek. “No baby girl, but there has been.”

  “Can we leave…go back up on deck?”

  He nod and takes me back up, when the sea breeze hit’s my face; I feel at ease. For the first time in my entire life, I am content.

  “How do you get food for months on the ocean Jax?” I ask, leaning against the railing. He stands beside me, not touching me but standing close enough that I can smell that luscious scent.

  “Well, mostly we stock up on a small island called Buraya. It has all the docking points and food we need. If we can’t make it back…well…”

  “Well what?” I press.

  “We raid large ships.”

  “You steal food off ships?”

  “Only if we have to. We avoid cruise ships, obviously, too many families on those. We go for more the container ships or large transport ships. They often have months worth of food aboard.”

  “But…you leave them to starve?”

  “They never starve Jade, one phone call and a chopper is flown in with more. Not to mention they can dock anywhere, we do not get the luxury.”

  “What happens if you dock anywhere else, aside from your little island?”

  “We get shot, blown up, anything that is available at the time. So you can imagine why we don’t risk it.”

  I nod. “What about if someone gets sick or hurt?”

  “Tough life out there mate, if somebody is hurt to a point of near death we….finish them off.”

  “You kill them?”

  “We don’t get a choice. For normal sicknesses and other injuries, Sam and Margy deal with it. They are both registered nurses and have a medical cupboard set up, ready to go.”

  “Let me guess, you stole those supplies too?”

  He shrugs.

  “Wow. Jax, tell me how you ended up with this life?”

  “I tell nobody that.”

  “Please.”

  He stares at me, his eyes searching my face. “Let me get a drink.”

  He walks off and returns a few minutes later with two glasses. He hands me one. Orange juice, impressive, I was sure it would be rum. By the smell of it, however, his is.

  “I was born onto this ship. I told you my father is a true blood, therefore, so am I. My mother and sister lived on the ship from birth. I always remembered my father and mother loved each other, but she could not stand this life, the killing, the violence. She feared for her kids, for herself and her husband. She had to make a choice I suppose, and so she decided to leave. She took my sister and left, I never saw either again.”

  I gasp. “She left you?”

  He shrugs. “I was male, I guess she figured it was better for me to stay with my father. She knew he would never leave the ship; she had to make the choice. Him or life on land. She picked land.”

  “How old were you?”

  “Five.”

  “FIVE!” I cry. “She left her son at five.”

  He looks hurt and then nods. “She picked my sister, left me. End of story.”

  “Oh Jax.”

  It makes sense now, why he refuses to fall in love, why he doesn’
t trust women. His own mother left him on a ship as a little boy, alone, and no doubt frightened. She left his father, who Jax knew she adored, no wonder he had no faith in love.

  “Don’t. Don’t do that oh Jax crap. It’s life; I dealt with it.”

  “At five?”

  “I had no choice. It was my life, and I loved it.”

  “And you never missed your ma?”

  “Of course I did, but my father and the crew took care of me. I was where I belonged.”

  “And when did you become Captain?”

  “I was eighteen. My father went out to battle and never came back, after a year we knew he was dead and so I became Captain. I had to earn the trust and respect of my crew; it wasn’t easy.”

  “Didn’t they accept you?”

  “They did, but it’s hard to take orders from somebody younger than you.”

  “Are you really the youngest on your crew?”

  “A few are younger; most are older.”

  “Why did you choose to stay out and be a pirate after all these years and not just go and live as a normal man?”

  “What do you think I am doing right now?”

  “You said it was temporary.”

  “It is,” His green eyes meet mine, and I shiver. “I will go back out soon, I have things to finish.”

  “Don’t you become bored, living life on a ship?”

  “We don’t just float around kid, we fight, we kill, we search for treasures.”

  “Fight? Who?”

  “There is another two bands of pirates out there, one is my enemy. I have battled him for years. He has something I want; I have something he wants. Eventually, the fight will come forth, and we will battle it out. One will die.”

  I whimper and sound somewhat like a wounded puppy. “You could die?”

  “I could die every day I am out there.”

  I look down, feeling pain rush through my chest at the thought. He takes my chin into his hand and raises my face. “I am a pirate, it is risky.”

  I nod, swallowing repeatedly to stop myself from crying.

  “Now, don’t look like that…” He mutters, pressing a small kiss to my lips.

  “I can’t help it.”

  It begins to rain lightly, I hadn’t even noticed the clouds rolling in. I look up, then back at Jax and know at that moment, I wanted only one thing.

  “Jax…I want you.” I whisper.