Damned

by Bec Botefuhr

  “It’s time you learnt the truth you little bitch, sit the fuck down.”

  He tosses me onto the couch, then begins rummaging through his desk. He returns with some pictures and a disc.

  “You think your little Jax is twice the man I am? You are wrong. Jax never told you did he? Never told you what he was before he became Captain? He was part of my crew for three years.”

  “LIAR.”

  He tosses the photo at me, and I glance down to see a picture of him and Jax, standing over a man with a sword protruding from his head. I scream; the look in Jax’s eyes…monster. I throw the photo aside, but he keeps going, showing me photos of Jax with the crew, drinking, slinking over women, beating and killing men. Oh god, no, please no. Jax is remarkably younger in the photos, but there is no mistaking it is him.

  “Aw, hurts doesn’t it? He is as evil as I am. The only reason he ran was because he wanted his own ship; his stupid father gave it over to him after he died. Jax is my nephew, you idiotic little girl and he is as monster like as I am.”

  “No.” I cry, no he is not.

  “Aw poor child. Anyway, now I have had my fun, it is time to finish it. I owe you for the pain you caused me. It is time for revenge.”

  He head butts me then, causing my world to spin and turn. Blackness threatens to overtake me, with one more blow to my cheek; I black out. I know he raped me; I vaguely remember his body on mine, the disgusting sick feeling that washes over me when I feel him plunging in and out. I am powerless; my mind won’t work, won’t protect me. I can’t awake from this blackness, yet I can feel what he is doing. I have no way out.

  I am grateful for darkness, for a moment where my world is no longer recognizable to me. If it was, I don’t think I would have coped. My body lies there, motionless, blacked out and refusing to wake. It is not until I am being shaken, that I begin to slowly come back to reality. And reality is harsh. The first part of reality I notice is Bella leaning over my body, shaking and slapping me. The second is the searing pain in my stomach. I sit up, panting and muttering unrecognizable words. I am back in my cell now, god what has he done to me?

  “Calm down Jade, you need to take a few breaths.”

  “What…help me Bella.”

  Bella looks sympathetic, only for a moment. “I am sorry, but we can’t focus on that. I will get you pain killers, but you have to listen to me Jade. I have spoken to Jax.”

  “What?” I whimper.

  “I managed to get a phone call in secret, I told him where we are. He will be here within two hours. We do not have time. We need to get you out of this cell, when we hear the battle he has instructed us to jump. They are going to try and blow Bill’s ship so we have to be quick.”

  “What about half of the key and the treasure?”

  “He wants the key, the treasure is of no use to him. He is already cursed so it is pointless risking our lives getting it. Bill keeps the key in the drawer in his room; we need to sneak in and get it. If you distract him, I will go in behind you and get it.”

  “You want me to….seduce him?”

  She shrugs. “You don’t have to touch him, just make out that you loved sleeping with him and want more. Besides, it will get you out of the cell.”

  I snort. “Somehow I think my gagging, screaming and blacking out might let him know I didn’t like it.”

  She rubs her chin. “Ok, well tell him you have something for him. Some info, I will tell you what to say.”

  “And this is Jax’s instructions?”

  “Of course it is, he wants me alive. Said we have issues to deal with.”

  It is then I realize what it is all about, she wants him and is living in a fantasy that he wants her too.

  “You love him, don’t you?” I ask, trying to keep my voice steady.

  Her eyes meet mine, brown on blue, and I can see it. “I am his wife, we have to try.”

  “And he wants this too?” I ask, in a strained voice.

  “He said we will talk about it, he just wants us off this ship.”

  I feel a rush of cold wash over me, he doesn’t want me; he just doesn’t want me to die. I should have known, should never have been so stupid. Cursing myself, I know one thing, and one thing only, I have to get off this ship.

  “Fine, I will do whatever. When do we do this?”

  “In an hour and a bit we will get the key. It is better if we can just jump when we catch sight of Jax’s ship. It gives them more time for a surprise attack.”

  “Fine.”

  She leaves and returns an hour later as promised. Thank god. Devastation racks through me, but I squelch it; I can’t feel anything right now. I have to focus. Bella gives me some strong pain killers. She instructs me to pull off as much of my layers as I can. So we don’t drown. Nice.

  “Ok, go in and tell Bill you know where Jax keeps the other half of the key.”

  “Fine, how long do I need to stall him?”

  “Only five minutes, I will wave when it is time to leave then you run like wild fire and leap off the side of this ship going under as far as you can go, only coming up for short breaths. Head that way.” She points but I have no idea which way that is.

  “No offence but that way does not actually help when I am not on deck.”

  “Jump off near the life rafts and swim straight, don’t turn. Jax is coming in from the south. Keep checking for his ship.”

  “Fine.”

  “Lets go.”

  I follow her out as she sneaks me down the disgusting halls once more. She pushes me towards Bills door with a nod; I rap on it.

  “What?” He asks, swinging it open. “How in the fuck did you get out?”

  “I need to speak with you, about the key. I told the err guard that, and he sent me here.”

  His eyes widen, and he glances around, seeing the halls are clear he drags me in. God what a brain dead, he actually believes me.

  “What about the key?”

  I step around him, so his back is to the door. I notice it opening and Bella slipping inside but I keep him distracted.

  “I know where he keeps it. I can get it for you in exchange for my life.”

  He raises an eyebrow. “You love him, no?”

  “No.” I say, my face as steely and calm as his.

  “And how do I know you are not having me on?”

  “You don’t.”

  He narrows his eyes. “He told you about it, that must mean something.”

  “Regardless, I value my life more. I will do what you ask.”

  I see Bella slide a drawer open slowly and stuff her bag with two items. Then she slips it closed and rushes out.

  “I will think about it, I may just use you more yet…”

  I cringe.

  “Do as you please, just spare me my life.”

  “Get to your cell, I will think it over. Your pirate still dies.”

  “I accept that.”

  “Fine, then fuck off.”

  I walk out, breathing as casually as I can. When I close his door behind me, I run as Bella has instructed. We scurry up onto the deck and over to the railings. She points in the direction she wants me to swim. I say a silent thanks that I no longer have shackles on or this would be a problem.

  “Go, don’t stop. Don’t pause, just swim.”

  We take a breath, before leaping over the side and praying to god this worked. The water is freezing, no, it is beyond freezing. Who in the hell thought of this stupid plan? As soon as we are under, I hear the shrill alarms going off on the ship. Sucking up everything I have inside, I begin swimming with every strength inside I can mange to muster up. When I bring myself to the surface, I only let my mouth out of the water and gasp a big breath before going under.

  I feel bullets pounding the water around me, so I push myself to go deeper. This will never work; we are dead. I kick on; I can feel Bella beside me as she kicks with the same fury. I do this, for a solid ten minutes before risking a look. I pop my head out of the water, only to see the
ship going the other way, shooting the water on the south of us. They have lost us. Bella pops up beside me, glancing in the direction I am looking.

  “Idiots,” She mutters. “Keep swimming, when they realize they are looking the wrong way we want to be as far out of sight as possible.”

  I hear a booming cannon, and it is then I see the other ship, Lady Amber. He is here. I feel a rush of relief, but as I squint and see the battle raging, I shudder. I can just see Jax’s crew. The massive, scary crew. God in heaven. I watch mouth agape as they merely decapitate Bills crew members. Then, they shoot off cannons. I feel the water shudder as a cannon hits the side of Bill’s ship. It is moving, Bill is running. He really never hung around for fights with Jax, did he?

  When Bills ship has managed to clear out and is no more than a small blip in the distance. We begin swimming over to Jax’s ship. When they spot us, I watch as the massive vessel is turned. My heart leaps. The crew has begun shrinking and becoming normal. Thank god. When the ship is close enough, ladders are thrown down. Slowly, Bella and I climb them. When we step over the railing, the first thing I see is him, my pirate.

  “Oh,” I yelp. “Jax.”

  He takes me and pulls me into his arms; his hug is heavy and desperate. He kisses my cheeks, and my face, then pulls me back and scans me with his worried green eyes.

  “Oh baby.”

  “I am ok.” I croak.

  He pulls me into his arms again. “God, I have never been so fucking scared in my life.”

  “Hello Jax.” Bella says.

  We both turn and she is staring with that look in her eyes. Oh she is mad. Jealous. Good, I hope it hurts. Jax lets me go and steps forward, she leaps into his arms. What?

  “Oh Jax, I am so sorry.”

  “Now is not the time. I am glad you are well.”

  Glad she is well? I stare, hurt. Jax looks at me and shakes his head, walking over. “No baby, it is not what you think. Don’t look at me like that.”

  “Jax can we talk please?” Bella snaps.

  “Not right now Bella, Jade needs a minute with me.”

  So there bitch.

  “I am not feeling well.” She whispers. Oh for Christ sake.

  “Sam, can you look over Bella please? I am going to clean Jade up.”

  “Aye Cap.” Sam mumbles, glaring at Bella.

  “Jax, it is important!”

  “I said later Bella.” He hisses.

  Jax takes my hand and walks me past the crew, who all touch my shoulder or smile warmly at me. When we make it to his room, he closes the door.

  “Are you ok? What did he do to you?”

  “I’m ok.”

  “Jade, I am worried.”

  “I said I am ok Jax. I don’t want to…don’t want to talk about what he did.”

  He stiffens. “Ok, for now I will drop it.”

  I am glad, because right now I can’t bear to think about what Bill did to me. It hurts far too much.

  CHAPTER 17

  Jax showers me and cleans up any remaining wounds I have. Then we curl up on the couch together.

  “Jax, are you sending me back to shore?” I ask.

  He blinks. “No, of course not.”

  “Bella said you two would try and work it out. I thought…maybe I would be going back.”

  Jax’s jaw ticks. “Well that is not what I said. I did say her and I would talk, but I am not sending you back.”

  “You want to work it out with her?” I shriek. “After her betrayal?”

  “I have issues to resolve with her, I didn’t say we would get back together.”

  I feel tears well in my eyes. “Well, if you want to fuck her, you can get stuffed if you think you can fuck me too!”

  He clenches his eyes shut and mutters a few curses. “Jade, I didn’t say I was going to do anything with her.”

  “Do you love her Jax?”

  “Jade enough.”

  “Answer me.” I croak.

  “I don’t know how the fuck I feel about her, but this shit is not helping.” He roars, storming out of the room.

  Sam heard the argument and gently walks in. I am trembling. She sits beside me and takes my hand.

  “Love, a word of advice? If you love him, don’t push him away. Jax is a man who doesn’t play games, how do you suppose it is going to look when Bella is all over him, and you are sour with him? If you want him, fight for him. Make him see what you are about, what you are worth fighting for. Just my opinion.”

  I groan because she is right and I know it. After he saved my life, I abuse the poor man. God, I am so immature sometimes.

  “Thanks Sam, I am just…emotional right now.”

  “He will be fine.”

  “I hope so. Do you think he cares for Bella?”

  “Love she was in his life a long time, so yes, I do think he cares for her. I also think he cares for you a heck of a lot more.”

  “Thanks.” I croak.

  “Lay down, please. You need the rest.”

  I do as she asks and lay down; I fall into a deep sleep almost immediately. I see his face over me as he drives himself in and out; I am screaming, but I cant wake up. God help me, make him stop, please. I twist and turn, writhing and begging. It hurts; he is too harsh and it hurts. He is tearing my insides; his breath smells of rum. Please, help! God make him go away!

  “Jade, wake up. Baby girl.”

  Jax? What? Where?

  “Baby, wake up.”

  I bolt upright with a scream; I blink rapidly. Jax, I am back with Jax. Its ok. It's all ok.

  “Make…make it go away.” I sob.

  Jax crushes me to his chest. “Shhh, its ok. Your safe. I got you.”

  “Make him stop, god, make him stop.” I am babbling.

  “He is gone, hey, he is gone.”

  Jax rocks me backwards and forwards until my mind clears from its foggy haze. I pull back and blink up at him through wet, heavy lashes.

  “I’m sorry Jax.”

  “Hey, don’t worry about it.”

  “I know you care about me. I love you. I am sorry.”

  “Its done. Finished.”

  “H-h-how long have I been out?”

  “About four hours, I heard you screaming from the dining room.”

  “Oh.”

  “What were you dreaming about?”

  My lips quiver. “I don’t…I don’t…”

  “Hey, its ok. You don’t have to say.”

  “It was awful Jax, so awful.”

  “I know baby, come on, have a shower.”

  I look down at my sweat soaked clothes. Geez. Jax helps me into the shower and helps me remove my clothes. I step in and pull his arm, silently begging for him to come in too. He does. We stand in the shower holding each other, god how much I need this man. I lean up and kiss him, but when the kiss becomes heavier, my world spins. I start to pant and shove Jax away. He lets me go instantly and steps back. The look in his eyes is tortured.

  “No,” He whispers. “Please.”

  I swallow. “I…I…”

  “He fucked you, didn’t he?”

  Tears stream down my face as I nod weakly.

  “Did you…want it?” His voice is hoarse.

  I slap him, so hard he takes two steps back.

  “How dare you? He fucking raped me Jax, knocked me out and raped me. How could you think…”

  Jax reefs me into his arms. “Sorry, god, sorry. Its just Bella…I thought…”

  “I love you Jax, I would never do that to you. Never.” I sob.

  “I know baby, shhh.”

  He helps me out of the shower and dries me slowly. I cling to him, desperate for comfort, desperate for love. We dress and then stand in awkward silence.

  “I have to go and sort a few things out, you should sleep some more.”

  “I don’t want to,” I whisper. “Can I go see Jack?”

  Jax tenses a little but doesn’t argue. “Sure.”

  He takes my hand and leads me to Jacks r
oom, when Jack opens the door and sees me, he instantly pulls me towards him.

  “She wanted to see you Jack, I have things to do. Yell out…if she needs anything.” Jax says in a monotone voice. Is he angry?

  “Aye Cap, I got her.”

  Jax turns and walks away angrily. I turn to Jack.

  “He is angry isnt he?”

  Jack sighs and pulls me into his arms. “It doesn’t matter now, he will get over it.”

  “There are issues with him and Bella, I am worried.”

  “I don’t know what is happening there angel, I wish I could give you information.”

  “I am just so…emotionally challenged at the moment.”

  Jack snorts and holds me tighter. “No, your not. It wouldn’t have been good on that ship.”

  I shudder. “Oh Jack, it was awful.”

  And so the tears begin, I start sobbing wildly in Jacks arms as he rocks me backwards and forwards whispering soothing words in my ear. A few hours later, after we have talked and he has made me calmer, I go to find Jax. I feel so guilty about everything; I just want him to know I care. I walk into the dining room, and my world stops. On the dance floor, I can see Jax and Bella. Her hands are on his chest, his arms around her waist and they are dancing. Holy shit.

  “Oh my god.” I yell, and Jax drops his hands instantly.

  “Jade, its not…”

  “How could you? Fuck you Jax. If you wanted her, you could have at least had the nerve to tell me. The decency to give me a chance to leave first. You know I love you. What, you think you can keep me around and throw me a few scraps of yourself here and there? Go to hell.”

  “JADE!”

  I turn and begin running out the door; he grips my arms and spins me around. The entire crew is watching, so is Bella, with a huge grin on her face. Jax grips my shoulders and shakes me harshly.

  “Enough!”

  “Enough? Enough? What were you doing Jax, how could you do that to me after…”

  “You were in there with him, you wanted him.”

  Oh. My. God. I slap him. He growls and his hand flings up to his cheek.

  “I wanted to see Jack because you had better things to do. God Dammit you selfish man. You know what? I am done here. Go back to your wife, you belong together.”

  “God this is all just too fucking much.” He snaps.