Undeniably Yours

by Shannon Stacey

Paulie nodded on her way out the door, but it wasn’t likely. After five years it seemed her mind hadn’t been changed about Sam. And neither had her heart.

  ***

  Within five minutes of walking through the Kowalskis’ front door, Beth knew her parents would fit right in. They were huggers. Every damn one of them—and there were a lot of Kowalskis. Apparently Kevin hadn’t been exaggerating about how her carrying his child gave her some kind of instant family status and they didn’t hold back on the touchy-feely.

  And Kevin was just as bad as the rest of them. He kept draping his arm over her shoulders or taking her arm to guide her or resting his hand on her back. It seemed like the only time he stopped touching her was to let a member of his family hug her.

  There was a blur of introductions. She’d already met his father, Leo, who had a voice that commanded the room, and his mother, who gave her a warm hug and a speculative look that made her wonder what Kevin had told them about her appearing at their family dinner.

  The rest of the horde she’d only seen from a distance, as the nameless bartender handing out drinks at the wedding. Joe and Keri had been the bride and groom. Then there was his sister, and Joe’s twin, Terry. She and her husband, Evan, had a thirteen-year-old daughter named Stephanie. His brother Mike had four sons with his wife, Lisa. Joey was fifteen, Danny was twelve, Brian nine and Bobby seven.

  “Don’t worry,” he whispered, his breath tickling her ear. “There’s no quiz later.”

  It was a little overwhelming, even though they were a very likable bunch of people. Like agreeing to learn the doggy paddle and being shoved off the high-dive board. And to keep things interesting, somebody told Bobby, Kevin’s youngest nephew, the baby could hear stuff and he was determined to make his new cousin his BFF in utero. It was a bit disconcerting having a kid randomly tell bad jokes to her stomach. Like now.

  “Why did the weasel cross the road?” he yelled at her belly button. “To prove it wasn’t a chicken!”

  Then he laughed so hard he almost fell over. He was a cute kid, she thought, and then it hit her—a little over seven years from now, she might have one just like him. Some faceless, nameless boy with too much energy and the knees almost worn out of his jeans, telling jokes to crack himself up. Maybe, if they were lucky, he’d look like his daddy, dimples and all.

  Bobby stopped laughing and craned his head to look up at her. “I hope it’s a boy.”

  “So does your Uncle Kevin.”

  “I’m sick of being the smallest boy. We need another one so I have somebody to pick on, too.”

  “Oh…great.” It was scary to think her baby was going to be the low man on the totem pole of trickle-down family dynamics.

  The home-baked cinnamon rolls made her a fan of Mary Kowalski for life, though having to pass by the gigantic urn of coffee almost killed her. She was trying to go caffeine-free so she made do with instant decaf even though she could have used the high-test to keep up with the Kowalskis.

  Friendly, warm, numerous and—holy hell—loud. They ate and laughed and ate and argued and ate and laughed some more. The green-bean casserole was wicked good and the baked yams with melted marshmallows were absolutely to die for, just as Kevin had promised. As the day wore on, the background noise changed from the parade to football, but the family cacophony never dimmed. It was so different from the quiet meals she’d shared with her parents in the past, she spent most of the day reeling from something akin to culture shock.

  When the opportunity arose, she ducked through the sliding doors onto a spacious back deck. Fortunately, it was a mild day for late November and, even without her coat, she wasn’t too chilly.

  Folding her arms across her chest, she looked out over the sprawling backyard. It was chaotic, just like the family. Immaculately tended gardens. Sports debris strewn from one edge of the lawn to the other. A sagging volleyball net.

  It was a home.

  The realization her child was going to belong to this insanity brought tears to her eyes. He or she would run amok in this backyard with cousins. Play and laugh and argue and then laugh some more.

  The mixed feelings made the corners of her lips tilt up even as a tear ran over her cheek. She wanted her baby to have this—the loud and loving family. Would she pale by comparison, though? Just boring old Mom who sucked at sports and couldn’t bake cinnamon buns or name all the balloons in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. What kind of kid would want to hang out with her when the Kowalskis had all of this?

  “Hiding?”

  She whirled around to find Kevin’s sister-in-law, Lisa, behind her. “Oh, I didn’t hear you come out.”

  “I was being quiet so nobody would know I escaped. Here, move to the left and we can’t be seen from inside.”

  Beth shifted to the left as instructed, though she wondered if she should go back inside and let Lisa have a few minutes of peace. They’d spoken a few times over the course of the day, but she didn’t know her very well.

  “I’m impressed you haven’t run screaming into the street yet.”

  Beth laughed. “I tried. Came out the wrong door.”

  “We can be a bit…much.”

  “No, you’ve all been really wonderful. Especially considering…the circumstances.”

  “The baby? Please. We’re all thrilled about the baby. And so is Kevin.”

  He really was and that’s part of what worried her about him. Beth didn’t have a lot of experience with failed birth control, thank goodness, but she’d somehow gotten the impression men didn’t usually react so well to discovering they’d been caught up in an accidental pregnancy. Kevin, on the other hand, had taken to it—and to her—as if they were a real couple and making a baby had been the reason they’d fallen into bed in the first place.

  “I think you guys are doing the right thing,” Lisa said. “Not rushing into anything because of the baby, I mean. Mike and I got married because I got pregnant with Joey.”

  “Do you ever…” She let the words die away, unsure how to intrude on Lisa’s marriage without being rude or hurtful.

  “Every marriage hits rough spots, but it’s hard when you know your husband proposed because you got knocked up, not because he loved you. With Bobby starting first grade, I had a rough summer. Even thought about having another baby because I thought he’d leave me once the little guy was old enough to handle it.”

  Beth couldn’t imagine living like that. “So you spent all those years not trusting your marriage?”

  Lisa shrugged. “It came and went, depending on how things were going. But he proposed to me again a few months ago and in January we’re going on a cruise—just the two of us. We’re going to get married again in a sunset ceremony.”

  Beth smiled and congratulated her, but inside her stomach was twisting into a knot. That’s what she was afraid of—why deep down she knew insisting they not have a real relationship was the right thing to do. Not only imagining herself in one place with one person, but wondering for the rest of her life, especially during the rough patches, if they were just pretending for the sake of the child. Not something she was eager to sign up for.

  Lisa laughed. “Can you imagine us with another baby? Especially another boy. God. How about you? Hoping for a girl?”

  “Maybe. Bobby wants a boy so he can finally have somebody to pick on.”

  Lisa laughed and shook her head. “Girl or boy, your baby’s going to be short kid on the Kowalski totem pole. But don’t worry—kids toughen up pretty damn quick around here.”

  Both women turned when the slider whooshed across the runner and Kevin stepped onto the deck. He closed the slider and immediately moved to the left.

  Beth chuckled. “Not much of a hiding spot.”

  “It won’t stop anybody from finding us,” Kevin said. “But it’ll slow them down for a few minutes. Thought maybe you ran off and left me.”

  “Like I told Lisa, I tried but I went out the wrong door.”

  He laughed and hooked his arm around her
waist as if it was the most natural thing in the world. The entire day he’d been waging a constant campaign of subtle looks and slight touches, but she didn’t want to kick up a fuss in front of his family. And then there was the troublesome possibility she might like it. No doubt he was attentive. And sweet. And so damn hot she’d swear her skin sizzled everywhere he touched her.

  “Lisa,” somebody bellowed from inside the house and she sighed.

  “Time to go.” On her way by, she punched Kevin in the arm. “Behave yourself out here.”

  “I’ll try, but no guarantees.” Beth shivered when he turned his piercing blue gaze on her.

  After Lisa closed the door behind her, Beth stepped out of the circle of Kevin’s arm. With Lisa’s words fresh in her mind, she needed to reestablish some boundaries. “We talked about this over and over and—”

  “It’s time for pie.”

  He had to be joking. “You’re going to eat again? And stop trying to change the subject. You’re not getting—”

  “Chocolate cream pie. Homemade, even the whipped cream.”

  “I’m not going to let you distract me.”

  “Six. Inches. Deep.”

  Well, hell. She supposed she could tolerate the sexiest man in the world touching her in exchange for a slab of homemade chocolate cream pie.

  Chapter Ten

  There was nothing sweeter than watching the Patriots kick some Jets ass on a cold December Monday night in Foxboro. With a brother on each side of him, Kevin watched Brady in the shotgun, looking for Wes Welker. Another first down and the crowd went wild.

  “So Beth seems nice,” Mike said during a lull in the action.

  “Yup.” He’d known, since this was the first time he’d been alone with Mike and Joe since Thanksgiving, she’d come up in the conversation. “And she didn’t run away screaming, so that was good.”

  “No offense,” Joe said, “but it looked like maybe you were a little more into her than she was into you.”

  No offense, his ass. “She’ll come around.”

  “You’ve got women practically lined up in the bar looking for a date, and you’re chasing the one playing hard to get?”

  “I don’t recall Keri exactly throwing herself at your feet. If you gave up the first time she didn’t run into your arms, she’d be in L.A. and you’d still be in a monogamous relationship with your right hand.”

  Mike laughed, but Joe just shrugged. “She snuck out on you and—”

  “That was a misunderstanding.”

  “—then you didn’t hear from her again until she found out she was pregnant.”

  Kevin watched the Pats line up in the red zone to buy himself a minute to think. He knew Joe was just looking out for him, but he didn’t really want to hear it. It was complicated—Beth was complicated—and maybe she was trying to keep him at a distance, but that didn’t mean he was going to abandon ship.

  She just needed some time to recover from having her life turned upside down and he was going to give her the time she needed because he liked her—a lot—and he thought maybe they could make a go of it. She was smart and funny and stubborn and independent and, even now when he was doing one of his favorite things, he counted the minutes until he’d see her again.

  After the Patriots walked the ball into the end zone and the cheering died down, Mike elbowed him. “Women can be…unstable, emotionally, during the first part of a pregnancy, just so you know. Stick it out if you really think she’s special.”

  She was special. He wasn’t sure how special yet, because it was hard to separate how he felt about her from the fact she was having his baby, but he did know he’d be devastated if she ever pulled another Cinderella act on him. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  “So you really like her, then?” Joe asked.

  “I really do.”

  Joe, being Joe, probably had more to say, but the Patriots intercepted the ball and the brothers rose to their feet, cheering with the crowd, as the cornerback engaged in a rowdy foot race with the Jets offense.

  As the clock ticked down on the third quarter, the conversation moved on to draft pick progress, injury reports and whether or not the blonde two rows down had real breasts or not, but Kevin had only one foot mentally in the game.

  When the crowd erupted into an angry roar and Kevin had no idea why, Mike sadly shook his head. “Man, you got it bad.”

  Yeah, he was beginning to think he really did.

  ***

  Paulie slid into a booth at her favorite greasy spoon diner, careful not to catch her jeans on the duct tape covering a split in the vinyl. She’d caved when Sam returned after Thanksgiving weekend in Boston and threatened her into another dinner date, but he’d been stupid enough to leave the reservations to her.

  This place didn’t take reservations and there was never a wait. And she had a nice view of Samuel Thomas Logan the Fourth’s face as he walked through the door. His expression was pretty similar to her mother’s the day six-year-old Paulie accidentally dripped chocolate ice cream on her dress. She’d been restricted to bland, non-staining vanilla until she turned sixteen and could drive her shiny new BMW to the ice cream parlor herself.

  Sam grimaced as he slid into the booth. “Do they print the menus on the back of the condemned signs they rip off the door?”

  “Snob.” Besides the meatloaf special, she’d brought him there for a reason—the diner perfectly illustrated how different her world was from his.

  “It’s called standards.” He pulled a menu out of the rack behind the condiments and sugar dish. “How long did it take you to find a place you thought might scare me off?”

  “Paulie!” Cassie, who not only waited the tables but owned the place, rushed over. “The flowers you sent Mom were beautiful! It was the biggest bouquet in the entire wing and everybody was jealous.”

  She smiled, noting Sam’s incredulous stare in her peripheral vision. “I’m glad she liked them. How’s her new hip?”

  “Good. The doctor says she’ll be good as new in no time. You both want coffee?”

  When they nodded, Cassie left them and Sam nudged Paulie’s ankle with his toe. “You actually eat here? On a regular basis?”

  “Yes, I do, so do you get it now? Your life and my life have nothing in common.”

  “You’re telling me we don’t have a future together because you’ve got a fondness for one-star food?”

  As if the critics would get close enough to give the diner one star. She didn’t have to answer him, though, because Cassie came back with their coffees. After they’d both ordered the meatloaf special, Sam leaned back in the booth and sipped his coffee.

  “Not bad,” he admitted.

  “This is my idea of a date. Not some fancy restaurant with a maître d’ who’ll only seat you if your family’s listed in The Social Register. I’d rather come here or go to a game and eat hot dogs from a street vendor.”

  “I can do that.”

  “Sure, right now. Once or twice, maybe. Not as a lifestyle.”

  “Why are you being so stubborn about this?”

  Only the fact she needed the caffeine kept her from whacking him upside the head with her coffee mug. “Sam, you know this isn’t going to work. I don’t know if it’s a game to you or—”

  “It’s not a game.”

  “If I thought we’d be happy together, I would have met you at the end of the aisle the first time.”

  “That was then. Now I know how you feel, which you never bothered to tell me before.”

  “And what’s knowing going to change?”

  He managed to capture her free hand in his before she could snatch it away. “No matter how much I told myself I didn’t, every day for the last five years I’ve missed you. And this time I’m going to fight for you.”

  “Even if you have to fight dirty,” she muttered.

  “You know I’m not going to tell anybody who you are. That was…you’re so damn stubborn I knew that was the only way I’d get you to go out with m
e.”

  “I already told Kevin, anyway.”

  He smiled, squeezing her fingers. “So you’re not here because you were afraid I’d tell him, which means—”

  “It means I wanted to tell you in person that you should find yourself some scion’s daughter to marry you and have Sammy the Fifth because you and I aren’t going anywhere.”

  He should have been mad, but she saw amusement in his eyes. “You named our son?”

  Dammit. “Not our son. Your son. Doesn’t take a genius to figure out what’s going on the kid’s birth certificate.”

  Cassie showed up with their meatloaf, then refilled their coffees, buying Paulie a few minutes of silence. Why wouldn’t the man give up? She couldn’t really make it any more plain.

  After taking a bite of his dinner, he actually moaned. “I take back my crack about the condemned signs. This is the best meatloaf I’ve ever had.”

  She could do without the sexy sound effects, thank you very much. It was hard enough keeping her mind on all the things wrong with their relationship without being reminded how good the sex had been.

  “I’m never going back to Boston,” she said abruptly, just to remind him—and herself—where they stood.

  “I didn’t ask you to.”

  “You’re going back to Boston.”

  He nodded. “I told you that. I’m leaving straight from here and I’ll be gone…a couple of months, I guess. Christmas season and then a trip to Europe for business. I need to wrap up some loose ends so when I come back here I can concentrate on this job. And you.”

  His gaze met and held hers and she knew he meant it. He wanted her back, despite her objections it wouldn’t end well. “Maybe I’ll be gone when you get back.”

  “This time, if you run, I’ll come after you.”

  Would she have stayed and married him if he’d come after her? She didn’t know if it would have made a difference or not. It was her parents and Boston and the life she’d had to lead she was running from, not Sam.

  “I’m going to call you while I’m gone,” he said.

  “Texts are better,” she said. “Easier to deal with when I’m working.”