Between Sinners And Saints

by Marie Sexton

  "I do love him."

  "But this behavior is still a sin. And if it were up to me, you wouldn't be here together in my house."

  Levi fought back the anger welling up inside of him. This was why he'd talked to his mother about it first--to avert awkward moments like this one. This was supposed to be a happy time. He hated his father for making it so uncomfortable. "Do you want us to leave?"

  Abraham sighed. "Your mother would have my hide. And your sister would never forgive me."

  "I'm not sure what you want me to say," Levi said. "Do you want me to apologize? Because I won't."

  "I didn't expect you to." He glanced over at Jaime with barely-disguised hostility. "I do, however, expect the two of you to behave appropriately while you're in my house." He looked directly into Levi's eyes as he said it. "You know what I'm talking about."

  "I promise," Levi said, in order to end the awkward moment.

  He wasn't sure if he meant it or not.

  The house wasn't nearly as crowded with only Jacob and Ruth's portions of the family there. There were, after all, six fewer adults and thirteen fewer children. Although Levi and Jaime were back in their usual rooms with their usual twin beds, there were no kids sleeping on their floors this time.

  Christmas Eve day passed playing board games and watching holiday movies, and since they felt like their house was only half-full, his mother invited two missionaries for dinner. One was nineteen and one was twenty. As usual, one was shy and other never shut up.

  "Why are they here?" Jaime asked quietly.

  "They don't get to go home until their mission's over, so people from the church invite them for holiday meals."

  "How long is their mission?"

  "Usually about two years."

  "They don't go home at all for two years?"

  "Nope. They only even get to call home twice a year." How many of the missionaries followed the rule, he didn't know, but he knew it was the guideline. Levi looked over at the boys. The talkative one seemed fine, but he felt sure the younger one was terribly homesick. "They'll get to talk to their families tomorrow, for Christmas."

  Jaime suddenly looked a little bit ill. "I don't think I'll ever be quite so rude to them again."

  They watched another movie after dinner, then it was time to get the kids all into bed, promises of Santa herding them on their way. "Aren't they going to midnight mass?" Jaime asked in confusion.

  "No midnight mass in my church," Levi told him. "Church on Sundays as usual. But nothing special for Christmas."

  "That seems odd."

  Levi shrugged. "Can't tell you why, but trust me, you don't want to sit through a Mormon service even if it is Christmas. Our hymns are all dirges. They'd put you right to sleep."

  Christmas Day was much the same. There were presents, of course, and stockings full of candy, and an early ham dinner. And then there were more movies, and the adults took turns falling asleep on the couch while pretending to monitor the kids.

  Despite having to constantly stop himself from touching Jaime, Levi had fun. But more importantly, Jaime seemed to be in heaven. He never stopped smiling. Levi thought he might be able to put up with his father's ire for the rest of his life if he had to, if that's what it took to see Jaime so happy.

  * * * *

  That night, Levi was roused from a peaceful slumber by Jaime's voice. "Levi!"

  Levi instinctively reached across the bed for him, but long before his hand would have encountered Jaime's soft, warm body, it ran instead into a cold hard wall.

  Levi opened his eyes. His parents' house. He was in a twin-size bed, and Jaime was most definitely not there with him.

  "Levi, wake up!"

  Or maybe he was.

  Levi turned over to find Jaime sitting on the edge of the bed. The room was dark, so he couldn't see his face, but after keeping their distance from each other for the last two days, Levi didn't care.

  "God, I'm glad to see you," he said as he sat up and tried to pull Jaime into his arms. "Tried" being the operative word because Jaime resisted playfully.

  "We can't," Jaime said as he tried to head off Levi's wandering hands. "We promised not to do anything in your parents' house."

  "We could go in the garage."

  "We're not doing it in the garage." Jaime laughed.

  "Good," Levi said, still trying to get his hands past Jaime's guard. "We'll be more comfortable here."

  "Your parents will freak!"

  "They don't have to know," Levi said as he kissed Jaime's neck. "Come on, baby." His hand managed to bypass Jaime's. It found Jaime's thigh and traveled north. Jaime was wearing a T-shirt and pajama pants, which he never wore to bed at home, but seemed to think were necessary here. Levi's fingers tugged at his drawstring waist.

  "Levi!" Jaime squeaked, trying to squirm away. "What if they hear?"

  "Honey, you're never loud. Let me show you." He stroked Jaime's growing erection through his thin pants, and Jaime gave a soft, low sigh. "See? They won't hear a thing. Just relax and let me get you off."

  Jaime groaned and seemed to give in, relaxing into Levi's arms, leaning in to his touch.

  "Lie back, baby. Let me pull down your pants."

  Jaime groaned again, but this time it was a sound of frustration rather than arousal. He pushed Levi away, firm this time rather than playful. "No, Levi. I'll feel guilty."

  Levi collapsed back onto the bed with an exasperated sigh. "I hate that you're such a Boy Scout."

  "And I have the tent to prove it," Jaime said.

  Levi burst out laughing.

  "Shh!" Jaime hushed him urgently. "They'll hear!"

  "It's okay," Levi told him. "We're not doing anything wrong." Not now, anyway.

  "I don't want to give them reason not to trust us. Your dad gives me enough dirty looks as it is."

  "And yet, here you are, sneaking into my room in the middle of the night," Levi teased.

  Jaime sighed and took his hand. "Come downstairs with me?"

  "Are you having nightmares again?"

  "No. I want to talk to you about something."

  His words surprised Levi and he tried not to be worried as he got up and put on shorts and a T-shirt before following Jaime downstairs to the family room. He sat down on the couch, and Jaime sat across his lap as he liked to do, although he blocked Levi's hands when Levi tried to grab his ass as he liked to do. Instead, he took one of Levi's hands and began to massage it in a familiar way. It meant he didn't have to look in Levi's eyes when he started to talk.

  "It occurred to me we have kind of a ridiculous situation at home."

  "What do you mean?"

  "Well, we have a house big enough for both of us that we're never at because I'm afraid of it, and we have your apartment, where Dolly's technically not allowed, and I have no place to work."

  "So you want to find a new place to live?"

  In typical Jaime fashion, he didn't answer. Instead, he asked another question. "Why did you move to Miami?"

  The question surprised him, but he knew the answer. "To piss off my family."

  "Right. And I went there to escape mine. I was looking for a safe place, and..."

  "And you ran out of road," Levi finished for him, and Jaime nodded. "I remember."

  "What would you say if I told you I still want to find my safe place, but this time with you?"

  It still took him a moment to think about what Jaime was saying. "You're asking me to move away with you?"

  Jaime finally looked up at Levi, his eyes scared but hopeful. "Would you?"

  Levi didn't even have to think about it. Jaime was the only thing in Miami worth staying for. "Where would we go?"

  "I don't know," Jaime said, smiling with relief. "I hadn't really thought much beyond asking you."

  "Come on," Levi said, nudging Jaime off him. He took his hand and led him to his father's study. He was happy to find things hadn't changed much over the years. In the third drawer of the file cabinet in the corner was a folder full
of maps. He dug out the one he was looking for, then led Jaime to the dining room, where he turned on the light and spread the map out on the table. It was a giant map of the United States. His father'd had it for years. The creases were frayed and worn through in spots. Levi remembered many nights with members of his family, bent over the map as they worked on homework or planned their next vacation.

  He pulled Jaime up to the table. "Close your eyes," Levi said, "and pick a spot."

  Jaime laughed, but he did as he was told. He closed his eyes and circled his hand over the map on the table before coming down with his finger on one spot. He opened his eyes and bent over the table to see where he'd landed. He didn't have his reading glasses, so he had to lean close to read it. "Columbus, Ohio," he said obvious distaste. He looked up at Levi. "Too close to Cleveland."

  "Do it again."

  Jaime closed his eyes and picked again.

  "What'd you get this time?" Levi asked.

  "Coda, Colorado."

  "Never heard of it."

  "It's near Rocky Mountain National Park." Jaime sounded skeptical. "It looks really small. We'd probably be the only gay guys in the whole damn town."

  "Forget it," Levi said. "There's no surfing in Colorado anyway."

  "Good point," Jaime said. "Staying on the coast narrows it down considerably." He leaned over the map again, and Levi almost groaned aloud at the sight of Jaime's pajama-clad ass right in front of him. "How do you feel about California?" Jaime asked.

  "I don't know," Levi said, tearing his eyes away from Jaime's backside to look down at the map. California was nice, but he found the idea of moving so far from his family upsetting. It was strange. He'd spent so long running from them, and yet now he realized he found comfort in having them so close. The giant expanse of country between California and South Carolina depressed him. "I don't know," he said again, turning to Jaime, who had straightened up and was looking down at the map again.

  Jaime wasn't looking at him, but Levi found himself enthralled with the curve of his neck, his pale cheeks, and even the shell of his ear. He stepped closer to Jaime and began to kiss behind his ear and down the side of his neck.

  Jaime studiously ignored him. "Maybe we should stay in Florida. How about Palm Bay or Titusville?"

  "Sure." He cupped Jaime's ass in one hand, pushing closer to his side as he kissed his neck.

  "We could go to Nova Scotia," Jaime said. "Good surfing there, I hear."

  "You're just trying to see if I'm paying attention."

  "You're right. How about Tampa? Can you surf in the Gulf?"

  "Not very well." And the truth was, Levi really was losing interest in talking. "God, this is killing me, Jaime," he said as he kissed Jaime's neck more. "Please let me touch you."

  "I think you already are."

  "You know what I mean."

  "Not in your parents' house."

  "There's a tool shed out back," he said. "Would you feel better there?"

  "No!" Jaime laughed.

  Levi moaned as he thought about facing four more days without being able to make love to Jaime. "Let's leave a day early. We can go to Charleston--"

  "Charleston!"

  "Exactly," Levi said, holding Jaime tight. "We'll check into the hotel we stayed in before, and--"

  "Levi!" Jaime said, pushing him away. He grabbed him, one hand on each side of his face, and made Levi look in his eyes. "That's the answer: Charleston!"

  Levi forced himself to stop thinking about what he could do to Jaime once he managed to get him alone, away from his parents' house, and thought about what Jaime was saying.

  He thought about Charleston, where he'd spent so many summer days at the beach with his family and where he'd learned to surf. They'd be close to his family, but not too close. Trips home would take an hour instead of twelve. He'd only had one visit there recently, after Thanksgiving with Jaime, but it was a warm, wonderful memory. He remembered Jaime leaning in for the kiss they were denied, and Jaime sitting across his ass dripping cold lotion onto his back. He remembered how they weren't supposed to have been in Charleston at all that day. It was only by some strange twist of fate they'd been stuck there for the night. And it had felt unlikely and providential and strangely perfect.

  Jaime was still looking at him expectantly, waiting for an answer, and Levi smiled. "I think it's a great idea," he said.

  "Really?" Jaime asked, looking almost like a child in his excitement, his eyes huge and hopeful. As if Levi could have said no.

  "Really," he said.

  He was nearly knocked over as Jaime threw his arms around his neck. "Thank you."

  "You're welcome," Levi said, hugging him back, although his motives were decidedly more carnal than Jaime's. He thought he was showing great restraint by only groping Jaime's ass with one hand instead of both. "My question is, can I take you there tomorrow and do naughty things to you? Because being here and not being able to touch you is driving me crazy."

  Jaime laughed as he stepped away. "Well, if we're going to move there, we really should go there soon. You'll need to find a job. And we have to look for a house to rent or buy. We should at least get a feel for the area." He grinned wickedly at Levi, and it was made even more alluring by the fact Levi had rarely seen Jaime look so blatantly sexual before. "It's not like we'd be going there only for sex."

  "Let's leave right now," Levi said, reaching for him.

  Jaime pushed his hand away. "Stop!" He looked at Levi, and his laughter mellowed to a warm smile. He stepped close to Levi. "Are you sure?"

  "Absolutely."

  The kiss Jaime gave him was exquisite torture. It was deep, teasing, erotic and promised so much more, and Levi thought maybe Jaime had changed his mind. But Jaime let him go, grinning.

  "You're killing me here," Levi said.

  "Um-hmm," Jaime said as he turned to walk back up the stairs. "Looks like you're the Boy Scout now."

  Levi had the tent to prove it.

  Chapter 34

  Jaime had hoped Levi would be willing to consider his plan, but he'd never in his wildest dreams expected him to agree so readily. He woke the next morning wondering if it had all been a dream. One look at Levi at the breakfast table told him it wasn't, not because he could see anything on Levi's face alluding to their moving, but because he could see the hungriness in Levi's eyes that hinted at their parting kiss of the night before.

  Jaime sat down across from him because he knew if he sat next to him, he'd be slapping Levi's hands away while he tried to eat. "Is it really a good idea," Jaime asked him, "or are we insane?"

  Levi grinned at him. "I don't think those two options are mutually exclusive."

  "So you still want to do it?"

  "The sooner the better."

  Of course, Ruth and Nancy were listening in, so their half-ass plan, concocted in the middle of the night around the dining room table, was presented for all to judge. The vote was unanimous. Levi's family, the portion present at least, loved the idea.

  "We can look everything up online," Ruth said ten minutes later as she came back into the dining room with three different laptops. She handed one to Levi, one to Jaime, and kept one for herself. Levi's mom produced a Charleston phonebook from a drawer and ignored the good-natured ribbing from her children over hanging on to such a worthless relic. And the four of them went to work.

  Levi's mother knew a woman from her church, who had a sister whose daughter had married a man who was a Realtor in Charleston. Jaime felt the gears in his head start to jam as he tried to trace the string of connections.

  "So, you know this guy how exactly?" he finally asked.

  "Through the church," Levi said, laughing. "People sometimes think Mormons only want to work with other Mormons, but that's not really right. It's just, through the church, they always know somebody who can help them." He smiled over at his mom. "All the more reason you don't actually need a phonebook. All you really need is the ward directory."

  "Except he's not in our ward, s
mart-alec."

  They came up with a list of houses to look at, chosen specifically because they had some type of office or extra room for Jaime's massages, and before he knew it, they had an appointment to meet with somebody named Craig the very next day to look at them all.

  Next, they looked up nurseries and landscape companies, and Levi was given a list and sent in the other room with the phone to call them all. Nancy and Ruth started on lunch, while Jaime looked into what it would take to get a license in South Carolina. Given his current licensure, experience, and certifications, it wasn't going to be difficult.

  Levi came back in an hour later looking shell-shocked. "I have an interview," he said, "but I'm supposed to show them my resume."

  "You have an interview already?" Jaime asked stupidly. He couldn't quite believe it would happen so fast.

  Levi didn't seem to register the question. "I don't have a resume."

  At which point, Jackson was enlisted, and the two of them disappeared into Abraham's study. Eventually, Ruth and Nancy had to make dinner, and they all conceded they'd done enough for one day. Jaime watched them buzzing around the kitchen, making dinner, playfully scolding the kids who were trying to sneak cookies, even though they were eating some themselves, and he marveled at how comfortable he felt. He loved Levi's family. And he was amazed at how supportive they seemed to be of him and Levi.

  Just then Abraham walked into the room, pointedly ignoring Jaime.

  Not all of the family was supportive yet.

  * * * *

  As usual, Jaime was the first one awake the next morning. It was freezing outside, and he opted to be lazy and let Dolly loose in the back yard rather than taking her for her usual walk. She only stayed out long enough to do what needed to be done. She didn't seem to like the cold any better than he did. He was letting her back in when Levi came down the stairs. He was wearing a pair of holey sweats and a T-shirt, and still somehow managed to look amazing. Sleeping apart didn't bother Jaime much, but he definitely missed the activities that went with it.