Defying Fate

by Lis, Heidi

  “Penny for your thoughts?” My eyes look up and I see Liam is leaning his head into my office with the door slightly ajar.

  He must sense my mood and judging that I was just crying my eyes out; I am sure he wants to turn the fuck around and pretend like he did not just find me like this.

  “Hey, Izzy, what the hell?” Shutting the door behind him, he comes over and pulls me into a hug.

  I stay quiet; surely he is not so stupid as to not know what the hell is wrong with me. Why isn’t he out there telling his sister to leave?

  Clearing his throat, Liam’s eyes happen to look weary. “Iz what is going on with you?”

  My stare back at him is less than friendly. “Seriously are you that flipping dumb?”

  “Ouch! Okay, that one hurt, no I am not. I came in here because I know you’re hiding out. I know my bitch of a sister is doing everything she can to piss you off. It’s working right?” He tightens his lips and raises his eyebrows as if he knows he is right.

  Pulling out of his hug, I sigh. “What do you think?” I’m beyond agitated I’m pissed off. “What is the deal with her and Braxton in there acting like old friends catching up?”

  Liam has a habit of rubbing the back of his neck when he is uncomfortable. It’s a tell-tale sign with him so as he is doing it now, I’m not going to like what he is about to say to me.

  “Listen Izzy, Brax and Tiffany are beyond complicated.” He is dancing around with his words. Yeah, not liking the way he is approaching this.

  With a slight roll of my eyes, I simply sigh. “Yeah, no shit.”

  “No, it’s like he knows she is bad news. But he has a soft spot for her; she gave him Eve.” My heart just stopped. Great thanks, Liam like I did not already know this fact.

  “She’s a master of mind games, sounds like to me.”

  “The best I’m afraid. But now let me tell you,” he sits down in the chair opposite my desk and leans his elbows on his knees trying to get comfortable. “They are like a train wreck, together they just don’t work. The problem is Brax has a hard time every time she comes back for a visit. She somehow worms her way back into his heart and his bed!” The way he says ‘bed’ tells me how uncomfortable he is admitting this.

  “What?” I yell it as loud as I can, not only does it disgust me, it pisses me off.

  “It’s like he hates her one minute and the next she’s spread eagle for him.”

  Not sure why I’m surprised by this, but Braxton is not a guy who is hard up to find a date if he wanted one.

  “Yeah, I guess that is one way to put it.” Rubbing his neck yet again, I think he is as confused as I am.

  “When, was the last time he slept with her?” He had to know I was going to ask him this question.

  “What? Izzy that is not going to…” now he looks terrified, his eyes are telling me a story I am most likely not going to like.

  Interrupting him, I say, “When Liam?”

  “Shit Izzy,” he huffs out, gritting his teeth. “About the time he met you.” He looks a little green as he admits Braxton had slept with his sister around the same time he met me.

  My resolve is slipping. “Liam. Has he slept with her since he has been seeing me? You need to tell me the damn truth. I know she is your sister and Eve is your niece, but I am the one getting hurt here.”

  Swearing under his breath is not making me feel any better. “I’m not sure Izzy. I don’t snoop around Brax and his latest conquests. You would need to ask him.” Bet your ass I am going to do that after I slap the shit out of him first.

  “Wuss.”

  Rolling my eyes, I think ‘fuck that’ and grab my purse and head for the door. It’s pretty quiet so I have no idea where the former or not so old love birds are at, at the moment. I refuse to sit around and take this crap anymore. What the hell does he think he is doing with me, with her? I stomp down the hall and go by his office. His door is ajar, I just happen to peak in to see her sitting on his desk and leaning her chest into him as he sits in his chair. He is smiling, at her. Not a stupid smile either, it’s a broad happy smile.

  He must sense my presence as I storm by his door. “Yo Izzy, come back here.” He yells from his desk. Fuck him; I am so out of here.

  Primarily running towards the front door, he catches me by my arm with his hand. Yanked back hard I’m pressed to his side, as he looks like nothing is wrong.

  “Fuck off Braxton. Let me go.” I say through clenched teeth, in an attempt not to rip his fucking head off.

  He looks at me a bit shocked I’d say like I had just slapped him across the face. Deep down, I want to.

  “What the hell is wrong with you?” His eyes crazed as he assesses what is up with me.

  “Seriously? You need even to ask me? You are more delusional than I thought.” Trembling and angry, I am shaking I am so pissed.

  “Izzy, you need to calm the fuck down and talk to me.”

  The only thought, I have, is ‘NO’ I don’t. Not a second later the source of my mood is leaning against the wall smirking like she one happy woman.

  “HER. That's my problem.” I’m seething while look at the bitch.

  Braxton turns his head and looks at Tiffany, who now has a sad look on her face. Shit. She is playing him. Is he this caught up with her that he can’t see it? I make sure to point this out to him.

  “Oh My God. She is playing you. You are playing into her hands, and you’re too blind to see it.” Screaming my words at him with all I got.

  “I am not being played by anyone and that means you as well.” He says. What the hell does that mean?

  Now I look at him like I was just the one slapped. Me?

  “What the hell are you talking about?” I whip my head at him as I am utterly shocked.

  “Listen Iz, Tiff’ was just talking with me about our daughter.” Holding up his hands as if to settle me down, yeah, like that is going to fucking work. Wrong.

  Ouch; like I need to be reminded that he has a daughter with her.

  “Is that so, well it sounded like a damn good conversation? Let me go, so you can get back to it as she sits and offers up her fake-as-shit tits to you on a silver fucking platter.”

  Well, that did it. Braxton looks pissed off, Tiffany looks pleased when Braxton is facing away from her, only to put on the poor innocent as he turns back to her. It’s fucking brilliant on her part.

  I huff out a breath and start to laugh; this is just too fucking funny not to. Clapping my hands together to prove my point further, I have to hand it to her.

  Directing my attention towards the now wide-eyed Tiffany, she looks at me like I’m plain crazy. “You are good, got to tell you well played. Let me get this straight; you come to town and see your perfect little girl. No, you use her just to get closer to Braxton. Let me clarify that; you get more intimate with Braxton by playing your act just to get him into bed. Now, I happen to enter the picture, and it threatens your plans to bed him again for the umpteenth number of times you have spread those long ass legs for him. Shit, I admit, he is a man. You’re easy and pretty, but your ace in the hole is a sweet little girl. You sick bitch, you use her to get your orgasms with her daddy.”

  Tiffany stands taller as she strolls over my way. “You have no idea what the hell you are talking about. I love my daughter and her daddy. Brax belongs to me; I was just reminding him of that fact. You are just a warm body for him to use and then throw away. He does it; a lot. Then I return home, and it’s me that his dick claims.” I swear I vomit in my mouth.

  “You’re sick,” I look at her and Braxton, “both of you.”

  “Shut the fuck up, both of you. Where are you going Izzy?” Braxton now realizes just how fucked this is; I can see the nervousness in his eyes when he sees me leaving.

  “I quit, let your baby momma have my job. It was hers to begin with, now you can screw her against the wall instead of me.” Admitting my feelings hurts a little, but I have to protect what little heart I have left. I gave it to him; stupid mo
ve by me, I know this, but I believed in him. I stopped telling myself not to get close. My heart aches as the last of it was just now crushed into pieces.

  “Izzy, we are not doing this again.” Braxton then looks over at the blonde bitch. “Tiffany head on back to my office and wait for me.”

  Her voice purrs like a kitten. “Sure thing honey, don’t keep me waiting long.”

  I stare at her mentally and throw daggers before saying my peace.

  “Oh, he won’t be long. I am walking out that fucking door and out of your lives. All of you; you both deserve each other. Both fucking liars and players who’d do anything to get what you want. Pretty pathetic.”

  Trying to walk away, his hand returns to my arm, and I am being led down into the garage. Practically being pushed into the shop, all heads turn our way. Tears welling in my eyes, heartbroken, I am suddenly tired. I’m so exhausted, all the years of fighting to just to live, only to be right here, right now.

  “Leave us the fuck alone, get OUT.” He roars like a mighty lion. Frustrated and angry Braxton wipes his hand over his forehead before he starts in on me.

  “Jesus Christ Izzy, I have no idea what a fucking game you are playing, but you're letting her come between us. We were just talking and for the first time in forever, we were getting along. She was having a normal fucking conversation; we were talking about our daughter.” Shit he is actually buying her bullshit. How fucking clouded is he with this woman?

  Angrily, I yell right back. “Yeah, I know you have a daughter. She is using Eve to get to you. Why do you think she is so fucking nice to you now? Has she ever been this way with you?”

  Silence is all I get.

  “I take it the answer is no, of course. Jesus, it’s me, she doesn’t want you to be with me so now she is playing the momma card. You just happen to take it hook, line and sinker. I know her kind; her type of person has used me in the past. The mind fucking tricks they use. They are nice to get us to lower our guard and then they use it to blindside us.” My anger is at an all-time high and always like when I get angry. I cry.

  “That fucker Dominic might have been that way with you, but Tiffany does not play mind games with me,” Braxton says as he is shaking his head. Seriously? God, he is delusional.

  “You're just blind to it, you want to see good in her because she is Eve’s mother. You’re whipped by her. By the way, when was the last time you slept with her?” As I say the words, I am gauging his reaction. Watching his eye movements, any ‘tell’ and I will pick up on it.

  His head snaps and worry lines crease his flawless face,

  “What the fuck Izzy, what kind of question is that?”

  Pointing my finger into his chest, I say, “One that deserves an honest fucking answer from you.”

  Grabbing my hand rather forcefully, I can tell just how angry he is. “Stop it, just stop it right the fuck now.”

  “Denial, I just knew it. You’re such a fucking liar, you sweet talk me and take me to bed and get what you want. Then seconds later you're in bed with your dick so far up in that bitch you can’t see straight. Must be some lay, huh Brax?” I make sure the emphasis is in his name.

  His voice sounds hurt. “Brax-you never call me that.”

  Yeah and I don’t like being played a fool either. “I see you in a whole new light, Braxton to me is gentle and nice, and the kind of man I would kill to have. This man before me now is not. You’re the man whore they all said you were. They call you Brax, the bitch who gets your dick wet, calls you Brax. Might as well call you what you are.” My raised voice is cracking as my body quakes with nervous energy, my tears are sure to follow.

  “My fucking Braxton, the one who held me tight, the one that whispered sweet things to me as he made love to me; that man is everything you aren’t.” My honest tears must resonate with him as his whole body language changes.

  “Izzy, look. This shit is fucked up. I’m screwed no matter what I do here. She is the mother to my fucking daughter; I can’t just ignore that. Eve wants to love her, she wants me to try to do the same.”

  What the fuck did he just say? Oh my god, Eve. It all becomes clear; his little girl wants him to be with her mother. I can’t win this fight; I won’t hurt Eve like that. I just wish I hadn’t given my heart to him. Should have stayed my ground and not come to work for him. Should not have let him claim my body for his own and I should not have enjoyed every minute of it as well. Shoulda’, woulda’, coulda’.

  Not an ounce of fight left in me, and I have to laugh it out so I won’t break down in hysterics. “Now the truth comes out, how long has Eve wanted for you and her mother to get back together?” I channel down my anger.

  “Seems like forever, I tried over and again. Shit’s not good, but I can’t stand to see my girl hurting as she is. I love my daughter and would do anything for her. You understand what I mean?”

  Choking back my tears, I contain my voice to a whisper. “Loud and fucking clear; I won’t hurt Eve, she is too sweet. In the end, I think you are smart enough to realize how this turns out, right?”

  “Yeah, that’s the fucked up part. I finally found a good woman, a woman who is perfect for me.” Getting angry, he finds a wrench and throws it across the room, swearing while he does it.

  “Fuck. Fuck. Shit.” The howl that escapes his throat is filled with anger, regret and something much deeper.

  Wincing at the very loud clank as the wrench hits the wall, I stumble back some.

  “Goodbye Braxton.” I’m walking back towards the door.

  “Fucking wait Izzy, I can’t lose you.” His words and worrisome eyes break me.

  With tears spilling down my face, I whisper out. “You already have!”

  Walking out to my car shoulders down, crying and hurting with a kind of loss I have never known. Losing my daughter destroyed me once; losing Braxton might just do me in. Getting in my car all, I can hear, is yelling, swearing and chairs being thrown around. I don’t turnaround; I can’t look. I simply drive away, away from my heart, away from Braxton.

  ‘PUMP IT’ BY THE Green Eyed Peas is blaring in the bar as I set my tray down to order my next round of drinks. Swaying my hips to the music, I call out what I need to Sam, our bartender. A week after my blow-out with Braxton I found a job at a local pub and eatery called Fireside Bar and Grill. It’s in Maltby a smaller town than Monroe. The local pub is the main hangout, a friendly crowd, usually a handful of bikers head in around dinner time and stay until close. Most likely one of the reasons I love it here. At first I was nervous, but for the most part, they are cool. Most of them are friendly and flirtatious I have to admit it’s a welcome distraction. I just happened to stumble on the job opening and took it.

  I still cry every night, still dream about him. Wonder all the fucking time how he and Eve are doing. It’s killing me, but I had to move on. This job came along at the right time. I was sitting here one night, having too many drinks, just drowning my sorrows and minding my own business and by the end of the evening I had a new job lined up. Worked out well for both of us as Sam desperately needed a barmaid, and I needed a job.

  Tonight is a slow night, everything was great until the door opens and in strolls a few of the guys who work for Braxton. I immediately roll my eyes and silently pray he won’t walk in next. Having just finished my shift and now wishing I had already left for the night.

  I ignored them of course; Cage was on the phone at the drop of a hat. It didn’t take a genius to guess who he was calling. Not ten minutes later in strolls Braxton, walking straight, over to me.

  His look is all serious, a bit perplexed even. “Izzy let’s get you out of here. What the hell are you doing?”

  My mouth is hanging open as I feel I’m in the twilight zone. “What the hell are you doing here; you have no say in what I do. Not anymore.” I turn my head and take another sip of my drink. Numbing my brain is my goal of late. Sometimes I will stay after my shift to have a few beers, like I am doing now until I got so rudely interru
pted.

  My arm is suddenly being tugged on as if on instinct, I pull away harder than I intended to and stumble off my stool. Finding myself on my butt, I am not only pissed off, I’m embarrassed as all eyes are now on me.

  “Braxton what the hell are you doing harassing my customers?” Sam says as he gets out from behind the bar and strides towards me.

  There is no mistaking the death glare Braxton is sending Sam. “Mind your own business Sam, she’s with me.” Sam inches his way closer next to me. I am now between these two men who are both ready to throw down or have a pissing contest.

  I’m shocked speechless, and I need to correct Braxton on his mistake. “I am NOT with you. What the hell Braxton?” I say holding my hands up as if to say ‘ah duh!’ Between his odd behavior and the current spin of the room, I realize I’m slightly intoxicated.

  I’m so ticked and embarrassed getting my ass up off the floor I dust off my pants and realize my tank top has slipped. Now my chest is spilling out for all to see. I don’t give it another thought. “Leave me alone. Jesus, Braxton.”

  Braxton’s laughing so hard he tilts his head back. The only thing, I'm thinking, is how thrilled I am that I can entertain him to the point he is in hysterics.

  His laughing alone sets me off, gritting my teeth, I say, “Not funny.”

  “So fuckin’ funny babe, now that the girls are back in place, let’s get you home before you embarrass yourself even more.”

  I start to talk and then stumble slightly. “Don’t think so BABE!” It hits me that yes; I am slightly drunk, well shit.

  Pulling me closer to him, Braxton grasps my arm and gets right into my face. “Iz are you trying to piss me off?”

  I stare at him dumbfounded, yeah the twilight zone. “Let me check. Nope!” I pop my lips together.

  Braxton sighs deeply rolling his eyes directly at me. “You’re pissing me off Iz!”

  “Don’t care Braxton.” I hiss back as I try to lean away from him damn near falling off the stool on the other side. God, seriously can I stop looking like an idiot?