Defying Fate

by Lis, Heidi

  Ignoring the heavy breathing on my right, I let my gaze swing back to Sam, who is now back behind the bar, leaning back with his arms crossed and watching this side show play out. Huh, looking at Sam right now I notice how handsome he is. Not sure why I have not noticed this before, but then it dawns on me. My mind has been filled with a tall, muscular piece of eye candy whose name starts with a letter B.

  My fog filled mind just won’t shut down. “Sam you’re a beautiful man.” In my defense, I thought my mind was saying it not my mouth. I realize my mistake when Sam snickers and Braxton lets out a ‘what the hell’ under his breath.

  The sparkle in Sam’s eyes should have let me know what was to come. “Izzy you’re more than beautiful.” He says softly with a big flirty smile. Not a Braxton smile granted, but a great smile. Smiling back, I marvel at his sweet words forgetting I have a big guy next to me.

  “Knock it off IZZY! I swear I am going to lose my shit right now.” The anger emanating from Braxton is a bit scary, but I’m not one bit bothered. The fact I’m not feeling much due to my drinking is helping my courage.

  Swiping my hand as if to dismiss Braxton, I say, “Sam don’t you listen to him. He’s too busy screwing his ex to worry about little ole me.” Drunk and running my mouth off, not a great idea.

  I find myself in a headlock, Braxton’s arms feel like pythons crushing me to him.

  “Cut it out Iz, I am not screwing Tiff’.” Yep, he is totally annoyed with me. Good, now he knows how it feels.

  “Pffft. Not my business anymore, go on and get your dick wet all you want. Tell me Sam; are you currently getting your dick wet or are you lonely with your heart broken just like me?” I slur out my words as confidently as I can.

  I ignore Braxton and his posse as now they are all surrounding us. Sam looks at them and laughs them off. Braxton seems to be daring Sam to back the fuck off, but he does not look one bit intimated.

  “Yeah Izzy, seems like both of our hearts have been broken by the same two people. They just seem to leave a trail of destruction everywhere they go.” Sam is talking to me, but his eyes never leave Braxton.

  “What?” Mouth hanging open, I stare at Sam. No Way!

  “Tell her Brax; tell her how Tiffany broke my fucking heart because I caught you screwing her out in my damn parking lot.”

  “Jesus Christ,” Braxton swears loudly rubbing his jaw.

  “Holy Shit.” That comes from Liam, who I just notice has joined in on our little party that is slowly growing in size.

  The other three Cage, Jagger and Brody are slightly laughing, drinking their beers like they are enjoying this freak show.

  My mind is blown, this is beyond bizarre. I gasp, directing my disgust at Braxton. “You didn’t, Jesus Christ. You're a pig Braxton; fucking pig.”

  I can sense the sudden worry that crosses his face. “Izzy it’s not what you think. It was a while ago.”

  The realization of their sordid history makes me ill. “Oh my god, so you two have been doing this cat and mouse shit for how many years now, all the while screwing with people’s lives. You make me sick.” I try to push him away from me.

  “Baby, that’s old news. I told you about it, how it happened with me and her. I told you all of it, yeah?” He looks at me with an ‘I told you so look.'

  “Oh, you told me some things. Then I had to sit in my office like a mouse and hide out while you laughed and got all smiley with your baby momma. Shit I feel sick.”

  Getting off the bar stool, I stumble yet again. Braxton grabs a hold of me by my arm and pulls me up tight to his side. His grip is tight, and the feel of his arms around me make me suddenly very sad. I want his arms holding me, but I also want him to want me enough to stand up to his ex. I would die to have Braxton standing up to her and making me that special one. Too bad dreams are just nightmares in disguise.

  Obsessing over my thoughts, I need to distance myself from him as his eyes are mentally judging me. Great, here come the waterworks.

  “Get your hands off of me.” I cry out as tears start to escape and spill over. “I fucking want you; I was ready to fight for you. It’s you that was not willing to fight for me. It hurts Braxton, you crushed my heart. Every dream I have ever had in my life has turned into a nightmare. My life is a living nightmare!” I’m yelling in hysterics.

  Braxton is speechless, stumbling out of his grasp. His worry lines are well defined in his forehead. It’s the first time tonight I notice how horrible he looks, almost like he has not slept in days. Well, join the sleepless club buddy.

  It’s Sam now who breaks the sudden silence. “Izzy let me take you to the back room. You can rest and use the restroom if you feel like getting sick because to tell you the truth I am ready to vomit myself.”

  Liam instantly pulls me against him in a protective kind of way. Not sure why he is all of a sudden acting like a big brother.

  “Liam let me go. You want to help someone, go help your sister. Or maybe Braxton has been tending to her every need. Hell I’m sure his bed wasn’t cold for long.”

  I turn to glare toward Braxton. Slightly proud I zinged him like I did, but my small victory is short lived when I see his expression change and now has tears filling his eyes. Oh Braxton! My heart takes a nose dive.

  “Izzy, I guess you’ll never know how I feel about you. I’m dying here; I fucking want you like I have never wanted anyone before. I’m screwed no matter what I do.” He steps closer to me and then squats down, so we are eye to eye.

  “I want you. I always will. And the answer to your question, I have not slept with her. How could I sleep with her, when you have wrecked me, no one will ever compare to you.” Leaning his forehead so he rests against mine, he is internally killing me once again with his sweetness.

  I let my hurt give way to fuel my anger. I’m mad, not for what he said, not for what he did, but for saying it and then not following it through with his actions. He let me walk away because of her; only now he is here telling me I’ll never know how he actually feels. What the HELL? I lash out and slap him hard across the face.

  “Piss off Braxton. Damn you for making me fall in love with you. For showing me that I was good enough before you ripped my goddamned heart out. You say I have wrecked you, but why are you with her and not me? I’ll tell you why, you’re a fucking coward when it comes to her.”

  I carelessly sway my walk from him to find Sam come around the bar, and I crash my body against his chest. His arms enveloped me as he tenderly kisses the top of my head.

  “Come on Izzy; let’s get you to rest for a while. When I close up I can take you home.” Sam is so sweet and apparently not caring he is in a room full of Braxton’s friends either.

  The growl that comes from Braxton, makes me jumpy. “The FUCK you are Sam. I am not letting any man near my woman.”

  “YOUR WOMAN? Don’t you mean Tiffany! You choose your woman the minute you told me how Eve wants you to be with her. I’m not good enough and I sure as hell won’t be your mistress either.”

  “You were never my mistress. Wait…” he pauses as he looks like he’s just realized something. “Did you just say you have fallen in love with me?”

  Oh my god, he studies my face as I am bewildered by his question. Did I actually tell him I fell in love with him? Shit. Shit. Shit. That was for my ears only. Not drinking, ever, again! Oh my god, why did I say that? With a shrug of my shoulders, I try to play it off as not to let him know my insides are in turmoil. “Doesn’t matter, it doesn’t change a damn thing.”

  Sensing his jubilant admiration with the fact he indeed knows I have fallen in love with him, his eyes sparkle with desire. “It changes everything.”

  MY HEAD HURTS LIKE hell; I need Advil and water. Stumbling out of bed, I run my hand through my hair that feels a bit like a rat’s nest. Fumbling with the cap I finally get the bottle of Advil open and pop a few in my dry mouth. Swallowing my water, I realize how parched I am as I only made it to the couch, forget walking all the way back t
o my bed. My aching body needs to sleep off the hangover from hell.

  Last night was like a fog in my mind. I vaguely recall Braxton yelling at Sam, only to have Sam shout back to Braxton. I remember Liam trying to get me home, but I ended up staying with Sam instead. Hell, we had something in common as we have both been victims of the Braxton and Tiffany. Shocked by the fact that I admitted, I was falling for him, in a moment of a mental breakdown. I was hurt and mad, and I let my emotions get the best of me. The look in Braxton’s eyes told me without a doubt he was shocked by my feelings, and yet they also told me how much he approves of my feelings as well.

  My confusion with this is the part that hurts the most. He can’t have it both ways. It’s either her or me, plain and simple. If only, she will be in his life in one way or another until Eve is eighteen. That fact sends shivers down my spine.

  My phone starts vibrating on the near side of my coffee table. Funny thing is I don’t remember ever leaving it here and more precisely I’ve left it off since my breakup with Braxton. Clearing my throat, I don’t give it another thought as I stretch my hand searching for it since it hurts to open my eyes.

  “Hello.” I don’t even look at who is calling me. I only have a few people I consider friends, so my options are slim on who it might be.

  A friendly voice greets me. “Izzy, it’s me honey.”

  Pleasantly surprised it’s my friend; my voice comes out like I’ve been smoking for the last thirty years. “Kara, god what time is it?”

  After a slight pause, she bursts out laughing. “You got company to go along with that sexy voice you got going on?”

  “Pfft. Not after the night I had. I had an interesting conversation with Braxton after drinking more than I should have. Luckily Sam got me home, somehow.”

  It dawns on me, I don’t remember any of it. Looking at what I am wearing I realize I am in a tank top and underwear. Shit, did Sam undress me and put me to bed? Oh my God, my already pounding head starts to hurt worse.

  “What? How did Braxton come into play again, the last I heard you left his ass and was working for Sam?”

  “Oh well. It’s a long, sordid story. I’ll fill you in later. My head is pounding, and I feel like I am going to vomit any minute.”

  “Okay babe. Um, Izzy girl, I got some news for you.” Sounding nervous-Kara has never been nervous unless it is about her brother.

  I can feel the blood draining from my face, I instantly sit upright. “Shit Kara, what is it?” I almost hate to ask.

  “It’s Dominic; he is on the war path. He’s going nuts as to why he can’t find you. Paid me a visit last night and threatened me if I didn’t give you up.” Her voice is off; something she is not telling me.

  I hold my breath, and then say softly, “What aren’t you telling me Kara?”

  She takes a minute to answer me. It seems Dominic is uncovering every stone to try and find me. She spends the next few minutes going on about my safety, and no doubt she is also scared for herself. Dominic is not at all stupid to think she never talks to me. He knows us better than that.

  I’m full blown in panic mode. “Get out of there, come here and stay with me. Pack up your shit and get here like yesterday. I mean it Kara; I will not have that bastard hurt you again.”

  “Izzy.” Her voice shakes as she says my name.

  “Listen to me Kara, get your shit and get here as soon as you can. We can figure it all out once you're here and safe.”

  After a moment of silence, I know she has to process all of this before she will act. She works for herself doing freelance work, so it’s not like she can’t work from here.

  “Oh, all right. I will call you later and let you know when I will be getting a flight.” Her voice returns to herself as I can tell she has been nervous having to face her brother alone. Lying to Dominic never ends well.

  Sighing with relief, I sag back into my comfy couch. “Love you girl, stay safe and get your butt here.”

  “You too,” her voice laced with excitement, as she says, “by the way don’t forget to hook me up with that hot biker Liam?”

  “Kara, you are obsessed with anyone who rides a motorcycle.” Oh yes, I now know why she is all of a sudden excited to come here and it’s not only to see me.

  Clearing her voice, Kara is acting out some pretty hot scenes she wanted to have with sexy Liam. “Listen Izzy, you're the one who told me how hot he was.”

  I burst out laughing as I recall the conversation we had over Braxton and hotter than sin Liam. All this easy going conversation has my head pounding so I end our phone call and go back to nursing my hangover from hell. The serene moment has me drifting back to sleep.

  Then…

  KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK

  Seriously, you have got to be kidding me. I stumble to my front door having some serious trouble with the lock. I have no clue who this could be, but I sure did not expect who greets me as I open the door.

  “Holy Shit Braxton, what are you doing here? I don’t have the strength for you right now?”

  Turning, I walk painstakingly slow back to my couch as the room starts to spin, and my head wants to explode. I knew he would most likely follow me, so I don’t bother closing the door.

  “Ah, does someone have a hangover today?” His teasing tone does nothing but irk me.

  Gingerly, I lie down on my couch and cover my head with my blanket. “Pfft, don’t be a smart-ass Braxton.”

  “Oh honey, don’t say ass to me when yours is hanging out for me to look at.” I lift my head out of my cover to give him my most deadly glare. He is so infuriating and yet so damn sexy looking at me with his signature smirk.

  “I am covered up with my blanket so you can’t see my ass.” I want to be pissed at him, but I almost laugh instead.

  “Saw it lots last night, and I approve of the black thong you are sporting.” Turning his head sideways, he tries to steal a glance at my leg that is peeking out from under the blanket.

  I just groan in frustration.

  “Don’t give me that look. You brought it all on yourself, started spouting off about letting that fucker Sam take you home. Not my girl.”

  I huff out quite loudly, headache or no headache; he needs to understand. “Braxton, what part of I’m not your girl do you not get?”

  His raised eyebrow and bottom lip wedged between his teeth shows me he is deep in thought. “You love me, right?”

  “What?” Not being able to concentrate as my head is cradled in my hands to stop it from pounding.

  “Do, you, love, me?” He says, easing down into my personal space.

  I knew my little slip up last night would not get missed, but this is just not the time for this conversation. “You can’t be serious right now Braxton; my head hurts. I feel like I may vomit, and now my best friend is being hounded by her brother looking for me. I don’t have time for your bullshit right now.”

  Backing away quickly his stance is stiff. “What do you mean the fucker is looking for you?” One minute he is all jokes and smiles, now he’s tense and pissed off.

  I close my eyes, realizing my mistake; I reveal way too much information when I should just learn to keep my mouth shut. With a calm voice, I continue, “Just what I said. I asked Kara to get out of there and come here to stay with me. When she gets here we can figure out what to do next.”

  “Izzy, you need to be careful. Get your girl here safely then we can make a plan.”

  My eyes are fully raised and directed right at him. He can’t be serious. Nothing has changed. He is still with his baby momma. Rubbing my temples, I am too drained to think straight. Covering my face, my words come out with nothing more than a muffled cry. “What are you going to do? You have your life, and I have mine.” Moaning, I am still trying to understand why he is even here with me. “Braxton go home and leave me in peace.”

  “Do you remember last night at all darlin’?” He asks so sweetly.

  I question him, saying, “The part where I slapped you silly or the par
t where I left with Sam?”

  Head back his chuckle lets me know I’m missing something. “Oh honey, you never left with Sam. You were drunk as hell by the end of the night, and I was sitting outside waiting for you. Sam got a welcome crew outside, and he handed you over to me. Told you, no-one is taking my woman anywhere.”

  Oh no, the images flashing in my mind make me nervous as hell. Remembering none of this, I knew my continued drinking was a bad idea. At the time, I wanted to forget Braxton was in the bar with me, but holy hell, what happened in the parking lot when Sam realized Braxton was there waiting for me? “Shit, Braxton what did you say to Sam? He was kind to me, and he is my boss. If you get me fired, I will shoot you myself.”

  “Yeah honey, see how that works out for you. Not going to get you fired, I did tell Sam, however, if he valued his life he would not touch you ever again. Let’s just say he understands where I am coming from.” Finally making himself comfortable, he relaxes at the end of the couch and is pulling my legs into his lap rubbing my feet. Hearing me sigh to the amazing foot job I’m getting Braxton smirks at me with his dreamy ‘sexy’ eyes.

  I am putty when it comes to this man; he may be gruff at times, but then he is sweet as he is now, caressing my legs and looking at me with nothing but love in his big warm eyes. Beautiful, sexy and hot; no words match how good looking Braxton is to me. Leaning my head against my couch, I exhale gazing at his sweet smiling face. Gosh, he is beautiful.

  My smile is also mixed with some confusion about what transpired last night. “You brought me home last night?”

  With no hesitation, he says, “Yep brought you back in your car. Undressed you and I must admit I took my time enjoying every delicious minute of it as I tucked you under the covers. I waited most of the night to make sure you didn’t puke all over yourself before I left. You can never be too sure.” His lips curl up as if he is hiding something.

  Huh. “What aren’t you telling me?” I hate the smug look on his face.

  “Let’s just say, last night sealed the deal for me sweetheart. Hearing you lay your heart out there like that. I’m happy to report I’m a gentleman and did not do all of the wicked things you wanted me to do to you since you were as drunk as you were. But,” he pauses and whistles. “I have to tell you, sex with you when you’re not drunk is fantastic. You drunk, well let’s just say I can’t wait till I am balls deep in you then. You get a dirty mouth on you when you’re liquored up.” He says jokingly, stroking his bottom lip with his thumb.