Never A Choice (The Choices Trilogy (Book 1))

by Palmer, Dee

  “I’ll do it again if you don’t keep your fucking eyes open!” I am being shouted at and whoever it is, is really angry. I snap my eyes open, only they don’t snap they glide slowly open and the fuzzy image in front remains fuzzy along with the ever-changing background of lights. The lights hurt my eyes and I try to close them again. “Ow” I cry at the second pinch.

  “Which part of keep your fucking eyes open didn’t you understand Bethany?” All right, so he knows me but he is still being a prick and he keeps pinching me.

  “Fuck off!” I slur, it sounded much more forceful in my head.

  “Do you think that’s polite?” His deep voice causes an instant reaction, my eyes are wide and my skin is tingling all over.

  “No.” I whisper, “No Sir.” He brushes the hair from my face and leans in and kisses the spot below my ear and whispers.

  “Good girl.” But I’m too tired to play and I close my eyes again.

  “Ow!” It really hurts and my eyes spring with tears.

  “I’m sorry baby, but you have to keep your eyes open. We’re nearly there but you have to stay with me.” He sounds desperate and I try really hard to do what he says.

  “I can’t, I’m too tired, keep pinching, it’s the only way.” I close my eyes and once more I feel the nasty pinch and I sob but open my eyes. This happens every few minutes from what I can tell and every time I open my eyes we are somewhere else but Daniel is always there, pinching me. First the ambulance, then the stretcher, then the room, the room is so bright and I can feel the rough tubing causing unbelievable pressure at the back of my throat. My head flops to the side and I can feel his warm strong hands hold my head upright. That is just before I hurl myself forward evacuating everything from my body. I just don’t remember eating that much, I mean I don’t remember eating that much in my entire life. My stomach is cramping with exhaustion and yet I am still being flushed with liquid that I then spend the next hour hurling it into a bucket. I lay my head on my arm on the edge of the bucket and gently close my eyes.

  “Don’t fucking . . . pinch me again . . . I’m not going anywhere . . . I’m just exhausted.” My words are breathless pleas. He must hear it in my voice because there is no pinch and there is no reprimand for being impolite either. The tube has been removed but I still don’t dare let go of the bucket. I don’t know what was in that stuff they pumped into me but the reaction it caused was scary explosive.

  “The doctor said that anything you consumed in the last twelve hours including the pills should be out of your system now.” Daniel strokes my back and is trying to reassure me.

  I snort. “No shit Sherlock . . . I happen to think anything I’ve consumed in the last twelve months is out of my system after that.” I press my hand to my temple, I have the mother of all headaches starting. Daniel chuckles then calls over a nurse. She gets the doctor and she decides to start an IV for fluids, the dehydration is causing the headache.

  “I know you’re tired baby but you can’t sleep yet and it’s best if I can keep you walking and talking.” His fingers are tracing patterns on my back that is sending me to sleep but I don’t want him to stop.

  “I don’t want to talk.” I pout.

  “I’m sure you don’t, you probably don’t want to walk either but luckily it isn’t up to you.” He states as a matter of fact. Once the IV is in he slips a large cashmere wrap around my shoulder puts some fluffy rubber soled spotted socks and takes my arm.

  “Shall we?” He flashes me a dazzling smile unfazed by the fact I have had my head stuck in a bucket for hours. We start our circuit of the hospital floor and I am relieved he isn’t planning on taking me outside.

  “You lied to me.” I tell him quietly and he tilts his head his lips curl in a grin.

  “Well pot kettle! What did I lie about?” He smiles but he looks as tired as I have ever seen him.

  “You promised you wouldn’t come. You didn’t keep your word.” My words are quiet because it still hurts to talk at all.

  “No, No I didn’t and I’m not sorry. I am sorry for many things but that isn’t one of them.” He adds softly.

  “I only lied once, and you knew it was a lie at the time.” I’m thinking when I told him I didn’t love him.

  “I know.” He confirms with no explanation. “Why didn’t you tell me what she was doing?”

  “I tried but you thought it was this wonderful family reunion and she had her story so well sewn, I had nothing to contradict it. I just came across . . . well you looked so disappointed.” I stop to catch my breath. “Like you needed me to forgive her.”

  “I know.” His expression holds a world of regret I don’t quite understand. “Do you want to sit down?” He brushes my cheek with his knuckles.

  “No I’m fi. . I’m Ok to carry on walking; it actually makes me feel less sick.” His strong arms wrap around my slowly shuffling body and help in more ways than assisting mobility. “When I found out what she wanted and what she was prepared to do, I didn’t have a choice Daniel, and she wasn’t wrong about anything she said.” My voice starts to break.

  “Who’s the shallow one now Bethany?” His voice is loud and stern.

  “I’m not shallow Daniel, I’m a realist, a little insecure and a lot scared shitless. Besides you believed what you saw, where would we honestly go from there?” My eyes still manage to fill despite the dehydration.

  “I did, but I didn’t really look at the time and then I did; I saw photos of Marco fucking someone not nearly as hot as you.” He has a wicked grin and I meet the heat in his dark blue eyes.

  “But?”

  “Do you honestly think I don’t know every inch of this beautiful body, that I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference?” His laugh is sexy as hell and has my skin prickling.

  “Why didn’t you?-” I am confused and a little bit hot, which is gross because I must look like shit and smell like yesterday’s sick. He interrupts.

  “It wasn’t until after the attack I suspected anything at all and even then I didn’t want to believe it was Kassandra. She was always so kind about you, so curious and interested. It’s why I liked being with her at all. I got to talk about you all the time. I had no idea but why would I? . . . I didn’t know how you would so easily walk away and you wouldn’t tell me. Fuck, you just shut me out and you just carried on. I could see you just carrying on but when I saw you in the lecture I knew you were in pain. God it killed me to see you like that.” His hand cups my cheek.

  “You’d never know.” I snort.

  “That’s because you thought this,” he waves his hand “was one sided. I thought I could help you with focusing on something else and get you to talk to me at the same time, but God you’re stubborn.” He growls. “Something we can work on I think.” He brushes his hand down my back and across the top of my bottom and I clench with heat at the contact.

  “It did help, it’s strange and I don’t understand it but it did help. Would’ve preferred to not be attacked so Sofia had a good glimpse of my private life but hey . . .”

  “I’ll never forgive myself for not protecting you. I am so sorry I waited, if I had chased the results none of this would’ve happened.” His chest is rising rapidly and I stand in front of him and put my hands on his face.

  “There is nothing to forgive Daniel. You did get to me.” I smile and hold his heated gaze, filled with lust and desire. “I’m not going to kiss you, you know that right?”

  “I was really hoping you wouldn’t.” His mouth rises to one side in a smirk.

  “But once I’ve brushed my teeth and don’t stink and maybe don’t look like I’ve done ten rounds with Tyson, well then, you’re all mine Stone.” I wink and grip his shirt in my tight fists.

  He laughs loudly. “Miss Thorne, that was never a choice.”

  THE END

  If you fell in love with Daniel and Bethany there is a treat at the end after the acknowledgement for you

  xdee

  My thanks and appreciation definitely
falls into two camps and rightly or wrongly I am going to thank those how aren’t necessarily closest to me but are without a doubt the reason this book is the first of a trilogy: My beautiful beta readers, Kymme and Lynn. I know I chose wisely when I asked you to read this story but you did and you not only were kind enough to ignore the roughness in the first copy but you saw the potential and encouraged me to continue. I love you for your enthusiasm and truly unbelievable support.

  The second camp is wholly of the moral variety, given that my family are both horrified and proud in equal measure that I decided to write an erotic romance. I am happy with my genre choice but I am sorry that when I left my draft copy on the side your game of page roulette left you a little scared but hey, you’re adults and you should know better! You know I couldn’t do this without your support and love and for that I am grateful every day. Laraine for skirting around the content but encouraging none the less. To my mum, because even though you moved so far away I always know you’re there when I need you and you’re always on my side, I love and miss you every day. You are my most blinkered cheerleader.

  Indirectly I have been given advice and encouragement from other authors, namely Kitty French, Pepper Winters, Ker Dukey and Jodi Ellen Malpas and I am hugely humbled that they take the time to respond and are kind enough to share their knowledge and support. It means so much - thank you.

  My editor Philippa for agreeing to work on my book - you were so worth the wait. Also Angela for my beautiful cover designs which, when I first saw it, made me feel like ‘Whoa! This shit just got real’. A HUGE thank you to my twelfth hour heroines; Joan, Kate (Stacey and Kitty again) copy editing is the devil’s work!! And not lastly but certainly importantly the bloggers that have taken the time to reply to my review requests and have shown an interest in wanting more; THANK YOU :)

  But mostly, I’d like to thank you, for choosing to buy my book and taking the time to read it - a huge, I mean really huge, thank you, you will never know how incredibly grateful and honoured I am that you have and I would be even more so if you are kind enough to leave a review at Amazon or Goodreads.

  The People who make it all happen.

  Dee Palmer - Author

  Website - www.deepalmerwriter.com

  Follow me here

  https://facebook.com/deepalmerwriter

  https://twitter.com/deepalmerwriter

  Editor- Philippa Donovan -www.smartquilleditorial.co.uk

  Formatter- Champagne Formats https://facebook.com/ChampagneFormats

  Cover Design Angela - www.angieocreations.com

  Take me to church - Hosier

  Run - Snow Patrol

  Make this go on forever - Snow Patrol

  Changing -Linkin Park

  Best of you -Foo Fighters

  Halo - Florence and the Machine

  The Only One -James Blunt

  My Immortal -Evanescence

  Focus-Emma's Imagination

  Big Big World - Emilia

  How Long will I love you -Ellie Goulding

  Figure 8 - Ellie Goulding

  Tessilate -Ellie Goulding

  I know you care -Ellie Goulding

  (had a bit of an Ellie Goulding thing going on)

  Wheels -Lone Justince

  Heavy Cross -The Gossip

  Stay with me - Sam Smith

  Orbiting -The Weepies

  Dee Palmer hates talking about herself in the third person so I won’t. My husband had my iPod engraved one Christmas with ‘sing like no-one’s listening’ and I know my family actually wish they weren’t listening because I am, in fact, tone deaf but it doesn’t stop me and this gentle support has enabled me to fulfil a dream. This has been a truly brilliant experience, because I have written all of the books in The Choices Trilogy but need to tweak the others before I let them out alone, and it has undoubtedly been made possible by my incredibly supportive family. I know this is very much another acknowledgment bit but I know I wouldn’t be writing even this single paragraph if it wasn’t for them so this is about who I am, I am because they let me be.

  Stalk me On Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

  “BABY, BABY, WAKE up, wake up baby.” His calm soothing voice filters into my subconscious moments before I am aware of his strong arms pulling my waist into the curve of his strong body. His lips are close to my ear and his words are barely whispered but they wake me. They wake me before I can recall where this particular nightmare was planning to take me. My heart is racing and I can feel the sheen of sweat covering my body chill as I am cradled into Daniel’s arms and lifted from his bed. He kisses the top of my head, walks to the en suite and places me on my feet, leaving me for the briefest moment to turn the shower on. He carefully strips his t-shirt I am wearing, which is now soaked and I notice his gaze darken as he takes in my naked body. Even when we are both nearer to sleep than awake his look sets my pulse on fire. It has been the same for nearly two weeks, since I was discharged from hospital after my sister’s failed attempt to force me to overdose on sleeping pills and three weeks since she had her driver, Clive, attack me. The bruises have gone only to be replaced by this unwelcome nightly routine.

  “It feels very like musical beds.” I tell Daniel with softly sleepy speech as he lays me down in one of his guest rooms, into a freshly made bed after my quick shower and change. He climbs in my side and folds his large body over mine, I am completely caged by his immense frame and I relax.

  “Mmm I’ve not played that one but any game that involves you and a bed sounds good to me.” His hand sweeps up my neck and his fingers spread into my hair while he kisses the nape sending a million shivers across my skin.

  “Nancy must hate me for the amount of washing she’s had to deal with?” Daniel’s housekeeper is friendly, so kind and would never say that any of this was any trouble but that doesn’t stop me from being embarrassed that I am the cause of her work load tripling.

  “I’d fire her if she did.” He replied as a matter of fact. I twist in his arms with shock.

  “You wouldn’t!”

  He laughs. “No I wouldn’t.” He kisses a line from just below my ear to my collarbone, “because Nancy could never hate you. She is actually quite fond of you and she’s very fond of me so how about you stop worrying about the laundry and tell me what you were dreaming?” Nightmares are not new to me, I have suffered with them on and off since John, my best friend and soul mate was murdered just after my sixteenth birthday. Typically only talking about them allows me to ever return to sleep and reduce their frequency but since the attack they have returned with vengeance. Daniel, however, has a knack of interrupting just before they manifest into anything I can remember let alone analyse. I turn fully in his arms and look up into his intense blue eyes.

  “You know you woke me before anything happened.” I smile and lean to kiss him. “You saved me, again.” His lips are warm and soft and despite his obvious grumble at my comment he returns my kiss. He pulls back cautiously and I know where this conversation is going and I’m just too tired for it. “Don’t please,” I kiss him again. “You couldn’t have known and at the time I sure wasn’t sharing. You did save me.” I place my hands on his face, his stubble scratches the soft surface on my palms. “Daniel, I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you. I’m just sorry these fucking nightmares keep reminding you but they will get better, I promise.” His brow is furrowed and I know he is struggling. He always maintains the utmost control in every aspect of his life and for a short period he didn’t, I nearly died and he won’t accept that there was nothing he could’ve done and that he did, in fact, save my life. It is exhausting. He lets a deep frustrated sigh escape into the darkness and gently kisses my lips. He has been treating me like I’m made of glass since leaving the hospital and for some reason tonight I have had enough.

  I pull back and narrow my eyes before he can register my mood I push heavily at his shoulders. He is much, much stronger than me and could easily have resisted but falls back on to the bed. I slip my
leg over his hip and sit a stride him, my naked heat on fire against him and I can instantly feel his erection pressing against the cheeks of my bottom. I pull his fresh t-shirt from my body and fix my eyes on his. His desire is fiercely reflected in his heavy lidded eyes and his chest rises as he draws in deeper breaths and I can feel his body vibrate with the rumble that escapes his mouth. He stares at my now naked frame, the room is dark and our bodies are all shadow and scent. I take his hands and place them on my breasts; he needs no further encouragement as he firmly squeezes the soft full flesh. He shifts the weight to lightly pinch my nipple but I grab his wrist before he can and I lean forward to put his arms above his head. I am not sure how this is going to work, he is so much bigger than I am and I have to stretch, shuffling my knees along the bed. I can see his grin and I try to manoeuvre him into position, he is being kind and helping but I am now hovering with my breasts just above his face as I place his hands on the bedframe. I can feel his warm breath and despite the heat, my nipples are hard aching peaks, desperate for his mouth but I pull just out of reach as he tilts his head and angles his soft wet lips.

  Honestly, there is nothing I want more than to feel his lips and mouth suck and tease me but this is about getting him to react, to force him to react. I know I am out of my comfort zone trying to get him into his comfort zone, but I miss him. I love when we make love but I love when he is hard and demanding too, pushing me, driving me insane with need and desire but lately its felt much more sedate and more like driving miss daisy. I lean to kiss his jaw and he turns to take my lips but I move back out of reach, I do this several times all the time gently rocking my hips just nudging the tip of his erection with my soft cheeks. I can see his jaw tick and his grip is all white knuckles but he hasn’t let go. I lean forward and sweep my tongue along his parted lips, dipping it in and dancing lightly with his tongue. I can’t hold back the moan that escapes my throat and I sink deeper demanding a similar heated exchange from his tongue. I drag in a deep breath and sit back holding my heavy breasts.