Never A Choice (The Choices Trilogy (Book 1))

by Palmer, Dee

  “Fuck!” He growls and his hips jerks tipping me forward slightly.

  ”What do you want Daniel?” My voice is breathy.

  “I want to make love to you.” His voice is deep and strained, I can feel his tenuous control and I’m counting on its precariousness.

  “Wrong answer.” I moan out the soft words as I suck my finger and trace it down my torso. I am so turned on right now, I didn’t realise I would enjoy being out of my comfort zone so much. Daniel’s eyes narrow as they follow the line of my finger, not sure he is enjoying the switch in roles quite so much. My finger reaches the top of my sex and I lift slightly to give myself better access.

  “Fuck Bethany!” With lightning speed he sits and scoops his arms around my back and throws me on to the bed, his thighs have mine pinned wide to the bed. I am pure liquid heat and my body starts to tremble in anticipation. “I am responsible for your pleasure.” I can feel the tip of his erection at my entrance, slick and hot. “Me, do you understand? Do I make myself clear!” He growls through gritted teeth. He pushes into me, only the tip and only gently. My core starts to quiver but it’s not what I want.

  “Maybe,” I sigh and clench my inner muscles down on him. He grunts and throws his head back.

  “Wrong answer!” He launches forward with the deepest down stroke causing a high pitched scream at the back of my throat but before he can temper his movement I scream again.

  “Don’t stop, please arhhh!” I catch my breath because he hasn’t stopped not for a second. He thrusts and pushes me higher up the bed, grabbing my leg behind my knee he lifts and presses it in to the mattress and continues his tortuously deep trusts. The sudden shift and rotation of his hips sends me spiralling, gasping for breath, my hands gripping his back as his muscles flex and roll. Passionate urgency courses through our bodies, this is going to be quick, deep and dirty. Our slick bodies move together as one and he follows my release with a final push and I am left trembling with my head buried in his chest. He rolls on to his side and pulls me in to his embrace.

  “Well that won’t be happening again.” He firmly kisses my head as mine snaps up to question him.

  “What! No! You’ve been treating me like I’m made of glass, sometimes its nice, but not all the time, you can’t. .” He laughs as he interrupts.

  “Oh, that’s what that was about. Well Bethany, you have made your point. No more glass girl. Got it.” He kisses my hair, “but I meant no to you, topping me, that won’t be happening again.”

  “Ah really?” I pout and give him a cheeky grin, “I thought it was quite good, I mean I could probably use a few pointers but . . .”

  “Ha, you’re funny!” He grabs my chin and fixes me with a serious and heated stare. “Not negotiable Miss Thorne, you’re mine, you’re pleasure is mine and the next time you top me, if there is a next time, it will be because I have told you to, understand?” His tone is deadly serious.

  “Not really.” I snuggle into his unyielding muscular chest and feel him collect me tighter to his side. I sigh, I don’t care, I got what I wanted and he didn’t seem too upset by the whole thing.

  “You will.” His voice is seductively soft and I drift off to sleep encased in his warm strong arms. I know I won’t have another nightmare. “Now, go to sleep.” He squeezes me tight into his body, I can feel that his rock hard arousal hasn’t diminished in the slightest and it’s a testament to how these broken nights are affecting him that he is not capitalising on it. I think maybe it’s time to mention my intended move to Marco’s new place, the speed at which Daniel has taken over my life is scary to say the least. Understandably shaken by recent events I have quietly let Daniel take charge and I can’t say it’s not completely wonderful to feel taken care of for once but I think it’s time to get some perspective. My life, my choices and I have to be sure that they are my choices and I am not being completely overwhelmed and seduced by the completely overwhelming and seductive Daniel Stone.

  I can feel his warm breath on my neck and from the sound of his relaxed breathing I know he has fallen asleep but now I am wide awake, the briefest thought about moving has me thinking about packing my boxes the night Kit tried to kill me. Although I had kept my call to Daniel live, the phone was in my back pocket and he said he couldn’t hear what she had said and my head was swimming with the drugs so it is all very fuzzy. I keep trying to think, she hated me, that much she made pretty clear, she blamed me for Dad leaving, no that wasn’t right, she blamed me for her Dad leaving. I can feel my head start to ache as I try and recall all the details, what had she said about my Dad? She’d seen him, she knew who he was. Why didn’t I know who he was? Why didn’t he come back? It’s not like we moved around, we lived in that house my whole life. I lift Daniel’s arm, which is a dead weight in his deep sleep state, I slip from the bed and make my way to the kitchen.

  The milk is starting to warm in the pan and I smile when I see the fresh nutmeg next to the coffee pods. I had casually mentioned that warm milk and nutmeg helps when I can’t sleep and low, there it is on the side. “So, think Bets, focus on the bits you do know.” I give myself a pep talk, Kit could’ve just been fucking with me, a likely possibility, given her penchant for cruelty but Mum did say something about my real Dad too, just one time but “Ahh!” I grab the handle, from the heat just as the white foam reaches the lip of the pan, nice save, mug filled and nutmeg grated I gently blow on the now, too hot to drink, milk. What now? Where would I start to look for information? Kit has disappeared, not that she would be forthcoming, and Mum, well, she had been unable to remember much of anything for so long and her brief lucid memory was just that, brief and just before she died. I can’t help feel a sudden flood of unbearable sadness wash over me; I have so many questions and no one left to answer them. I have never had a problem with being alone but just right now I feel terribly lonely.

  I walk back toward the living room when I notice the door to one of the other bedrooms open, it’s where Daniel has put all my boxes from my apartment, waiting for me to unpack, probably. I flick the light and place my drink on the side. I know I have nothing that will shed light but I do remember the care home giving me a small box with my Mum’s personal belongings, I hadn’t bothered to unpack it, after all it was me that had packed for her when she moved there, so it’s unlikely there will be anything that I haven’t seen already. I lift a few lids from the boxes before I see the one I am looking for, it’s grey and light, slightly bigger than a shoe box. I sit crossed legged on the floor with the box in my lap and lift the lid, releasing a thick dusty smell of lavender and damp. Twenty minutes later and I am none the wiser, there are some letters to Kits’ father, mostly begging for forgiveness, there are some photo’s one taken on a beach somewhere. We didn’t take holidays so I’m guessing it was a day trip, I was still a baby and Kit must have been six. The next I do remember, Kit has her arms over my shoulder and we are both smiling proudly. That day had been really hot and we had spent hours clearing the garden shed, and then we had spent hours filling it with grass cuttings, not just from our garden but also our neighbours too. We were convinced that our Mum would get us a pony, now that it had somewhere to sleep, she didn’t and she was furious. The next week Kit refused to help clear the mess we had made and I was so worried that I would get grounded I spent the whole following weekend cleaning the rotting grass from the shed, God it stank, it was slimy and there were so many bugs, John helped but would tease me, because I hated the bugs.

  I sip my milk, there are a few business cards and some trinkets, nothing of value, my great-grandmother’s wedding ring, a gold heart locket, some hospital bracelets and nothing that is screaming ‘This is your dad!’ with a big old X or an arrow. I feel the prickles on my neck just before I notice the door open. Daniel takes my breath away, steeling my thoughts from the past to the now. His feet are bare and his lounge pants are hung low on his hips, his naked chest is firm, ripped and with clean cut lines of hard muscle. His hair flops messily over his eyes which l
ook tired. Now I feel guilty, again. He steps into the room and quickly sits behind me lifting me into his lap. His body is warm and sets mine instantly on fire, sweeping my hair from my neck he kisses and I can’t help but moan.

  “If you keep interrupting your sleep like this Miss Thorne I will have to chain you to the bed.” His tone is stern and I shift a little at this.

  “God Daniel, I’m so sorry I woke you, you do look tired, I’m sorry I just got thinking and couldn’t get back to sleep.”

  “Shh, it’s alright baby, it’s a problem with a simple solution.” His grin is wicked against my skin.

  “Daniel, you can’t chain me to the bed.” I gasp but my heart is pumping with the potential.

  “Really?” He kisses my neck. “Think that, if it gives you comfort.” His teeth graze my neck and he sucks hard and bites down causing a red hot searing fire instantly at my core.

  “Oh God!” I cry but he stops and chuckles when he feels my body deflate.

  “Now, what have we here?” He points at the array of material spread before me.

  “Mmm, What?” I struggle to come back from my Daniel induced daze and he inhales as he digs his nose into the hair at my nape, not aiding my focus.

  “Playing detective?” He removes his warms breath from my neck, tilts his head and nods toward the messy pile before us.

  “Trying to, but I don’t think Sherlock needs to worry and I won’t be giving up my day job just yet.” I sigh in frustration. “I was trying to remember and I think because Kit and my Mum mentioned my ‘real’ father” I air quote, “that maybe there was something here that would help, but nada.” I flop back into his chest. He picks up the hospital bracelets, two for me and one for Kit.

  “What are these?” I take them from him to check the dates.

  “Well these are mine and my sister’s birth identity bracelets and this one is when I was fifteen, I was pretty ill for a while and I guess mum kept it.”

  “Ill? How Ill?” His tone is firm and his deep frown is all concern.

  “I was really anaemic but they thought it might be something else too, I remember there being a bit of a panic about donors but turned out I was just severely anaemic.” I shrug it off because honestly it seems like a lifetime ago and I really haven’t given it a seconds thought and still wouldn’t if I hadn’t been prompted.

  “Mmm,” he looks thoughtful. “Would you like my security team to have a look through this for you? If there is any information here they will find it.” I hesitate, not sure I want that level of scrutiny but then, Daniel knows all my secrets and all my fears, what else is there. He narrows his eyes as I take my time to consider his offer. “Are you hiding something Miss Thorne?” I shift incredulous that he is serious given my level of disclosure to this man.

  “I’m an open book Daniel, do you?” I accuse and it’s only fleeting but I notice the flinch and twitch in his jaw before his face is again impassive and he coolly replies.

  “No.”

  Alright, that wasn’t what I was expecting, I thought this was about finding my Dad but now I feel my previous desire for some perspective has just become imperative. “Sure, I’m getting nothing from this other than an unpleasant trip down memory lane. I don’t know whether I actually want to find him but I’d like that to be my choice.”

  “I am not sure he deserves to know you but you’re right that should, at least be your decision.” He holds me tighter.

  “What do you mean?” I twist around so I can see his eyes.

  “Well, your mother said she wrote to him and he never acted on that, his loss, but still . . .” His frown is deep but I interrupt.

  “He did, he did come but Kit told him I had died!” I blurt as if from nowhere.

  “What?” His shock is as evident as my own as the conversation I had with Kit hits me like a sledgehammer.

  “Oh God! I remember.” I twist fully in his lap to face him. “Kit said she saw him, knew he was my father, we look alike but she sent him away, no, she sent him to John’s funeral where my mum was attending in my place. So if my real Dad had gone to the church he would’ve seen my Mum mourning.” I shake my head as this all comes flooding back in a jumble of facts and lies mixed with the real sadness and loss.

  “Oh Christ!” He kisses my forehead standing with me as if I weigh nothing. “Look, leave it with me, OK?” His eyes are intense and the comfort of his words takes a weight I didn’t realise from my shoulders and I exhale a deep calming breath.

  “OK.” I whisper as I gladly relinquish this burden to his charge. His lips cover mine and he sweeps his soft tongue trying to gain access, I comply and hear his deep groan of appreciation.

  “Now, let’s see where I put those cuffs.” I giggle as he strides from the room.

  The blinds are still shut but the room is really bright for a winter morning so I know it must be late, that coupled with the rumbling complaint of emptiness coming from my tummy. I look over to the clock, start a luxurious first stretch of the morning and I feel the unfamiliar restriction instantly. My hands had been curled beneath my pillow and the soft leather is light, it is only when I pull against the material that I can even feel them but I feel them now. Wow, he wasn’t joking! I shuffle up the bed and investigate. The cuffs are the same or similar to the ones he used on me at the flat but the chain that threads through the buckles is long and looped over a hidden bar that slides the length of the headboard on the bed. There is a small but secure lock joining the ends of the chain and I give a little rattle just to check it’s integrity, yep that’s secure. I can’t believe he did this, I can’t believe I didn’t feel him do this but mostly I can’t believe he did this.

  “Daniel!” I call out with mock sweetness but the size of the apartment means with no response I soon have to resort to shouting which is more reflective of my mood, I hear movement outside.

  “Bethany?” A familiar female voice calls back. Crap! It’s Nancy, what is she doing here on a Saturday? She stops just outside the door and I hold my breath. “Can I get you some breakfast my dear?” My wide eyes are fixed on the handle watching for movement, I quickly reply.

  “Oh No Nancy, that’s fine, you’re not usually here at the weekend so I’ll sort myself, actually,” I feign a casualness I am not feeling. “I was just after Daniel, you don’t know where he is do you?”

  “Yes dear, he is with his trainer, he said you needed to sleep in, that you needed your rest. Bethany, I hope you don’t mind me saying but it is lovely to see him this way.” Unfortunately, her sweet sentiment is a little lost on me this morning.

  “Is it?” I grumble quietly but freeze when I see the handle twist. “Oh Nancy, he is right, in fact I think I will try and catch a bit more sleep.” The handle stops and slowly returns to its rest position. “Maybe you could get Daniel to wake me just as soon as he returns; you don’t know when that will be by any chance?” The tone in my voice can’t help rise with the uncertainty of my predicament.

  “Oh I don’t think it will be too much longer, he asked me to fix brunch. It is sweet that you miss him but then you two have been inseparable so it’s not a big surprise, it’s just lovely, anyway, I’ll let him know when I see him.” Her voice disappears. I throw myself heavily into the pillows in exasperation, lifting one of the pillows I squeeze it to my face and scream. I am not going to miss him this morning or whenever he decides to show his face, I am furious. I throw the pillow across the room with more frustration and I look for my bag, I will call him, there is no way I am going to wait here all day like some little slave. My bag is out of reach so I slide the chain to the very edge of the bar, slightly excited that I might be able to slip it over the end and free myself but it just seems to be some continuous bar, damn. I stretch my body full length, pointing my toes frantically trying to grip the folded over handle of my courier satchel with my big toe. Every muscle is protesting at this extreme demand without a warm up but I manage to curl the leather handle over my big toe and hook it securely onto my foot. I pu
ll the bag to me and climb back on the bed, I give a little air punch at my small achievement but my smile disappears as I dial Daniel.

  “Good Morning Bethany.” His voice is smooth and deep if a little breathless.

  “Arsewipe.” I reply sweetly and he laughs loudly but recovers.

  “Now, that is not very polite, shall we try again? Good Morning Bethany.” The command in his voice sends instant shivers across my skin and despite being furious I still feel a deep desire to obey him but I don’t have to be happy about it. I grit my teeth.

  “Good Morning Daniel, would you be so kind as to get your arse back here, now?” I may be trying for polite but my jaw is clenched and my tone is clipped.

  “Oh Miss Thorne, now you’re not even trying, I might think you actually want to be punished for your manners.” I can feel the smile in his voice and I can’t help the heat flame through me at his words.

  “Exactly what am I being punished for at this moment Daniel?”

  “You’re not.” He sounds surprised by my comment.

  “So I am shackled to your bed for my own good?” I can’t hide the sarcasm.

  “Mmm I do like the visual I now have of you shackled to my bed.” His voice is pure sin, “but, essentially yes, it is for your own good, you need to rest.”